Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "The Other Side" by The One The Asgard Call O'Pipp CHEVRON GUY: Look! A message from: THE OTHER SIDE. CARTER: Where? THE OTHER SIDE? CHEVRON GUY: Yes. And now we've introduced the title, lets go meet some evil aliens. CARTER: Since when where YOU invited? ALAR: Hey, guys. CARTER: Yo, Odo! CHEVRON GUY: Sorry Major, you can't speak to him. CARTER: Why? CHEVRON GUY: No DS9 references allowed. HAMMOND: Seeing as these aliens sound evil, we're gonna go meet them. O'NEILL: Uh? HAMMOND: Sorry, I meant YOU are going to go meet them. Have fun almost getting killed. O'NEILL: We always do. ANNOYING WOMAN: Hey, look, I can use words like "unliveable" and "flavourful." ALAR: Now, lets all get drunk! TEAL'C: Indeed... actually, no. ALAR: What's the matter, Teal'c, don't you wuv your evil alien brethren? O'NEILL: Ooo! A Playstation 2! Can I play? [BOOM] O'NEILL: Woohoo! I hit something! CARTER: Ah, my gameboy's still way better. O'NEILL: And so we've finally come to the point we need to steal jokes from other fivers, have we? CARTER: Hey, we're stealing Trek actors too. JACKSON: Hey! The aliens are evil! Eeeeeeeevil! O'NEILL: Shut up, we've still got another 45 minutes to fill. CARTER: Come on, let's go back and annoy Hammond. JACKSON: Hey! That's my job! JACKSON: Hey, the aliens are evil. CARTER: No way. JACKSON: They want to replace gameboys with PS2. CARTER: Eeeevil, sir. ALAR: Were do you get your deuterium from? CARTER: Shut up. It costs us $100 whenever you steal a term from Star Trek. ALAR: You did it in Nemesis. CARTER: Yeah, but our replicators took over worlds instead of making coffee. ALAR: The difference being? JACKSON: So, tell me more about "The enemy." ANNOYING WOMAN: We call them the Borg. JACKSON: Lets just stick with "The Enemy", 'kay? ANNOYING WOMAN: We also call them: Vulcans, Romulans, Betazoids, Ferengi... JACKSON: This is all coming outta my paycheck, y'know. O'NEILL: Let's play a game. It's called "Let's give the alien Nazis whatever they want." CARTER: Does it come on Gameboy Advance? ALAR: This is where we keep some people in freezers. DANIEL: Ooo! Can I have a people-pop? Pleeeease? ALAR: Shut up and notice we're evil already. O'NEILL: Go on..... ALAR: No. CARTER: Pleeeeeease? ALAR: No. TEAL'C: C'mon? ALAR: Look! I am not doing the cool morphy thing. Get back to your snooping. DANIEL: They're evil. E-V-I-L! O'NEILL: Look, Daniel, it's a well known fact that only evil women ask you out, yeah? DANIEL: Yes...... O'NEILL: Well, no one here even LIKES you, so they must be ok. DANIEL: Your logic is illogical! CARTER: STOP IT WITH THE STAR TREK TERMS, ALREADY! O'NEILL: 'Kay, they're evil. DANIEL: What made you change your mind? O'NEILL: I don't know, at this point there was something better on TV. DANIEL: What, something better than "Stargate"? CARTER: Ahem...... O'NEILL: Oh, right, the self awareness thing. ODO: Time to casually reveal the fact that we're really alien Nazis. ANNOYING WOMAN: Haven't we been doing that since the beginning of the episode? And since when was your name "Odo"? [ODO MORPHS INTO ALAR] ANNOYING WOMAN: See, that just made even less sense. O'NEILL: So, what's up? ALAR: Seeing as you ask, a bunch of enemy fighters over the city. Wanna help kill some innocents? O'NEILL: Duuuuh. It's what we do every week. DANIEL: Hey, Sir, we're not allowed any alien tech. HAMMOND: Why? DANIEL: Because it's Season Four. HAMMOND: And? DANIEL: We're only allowed tech that blows up innocent aliens/SG personal or encourages sudden 'shippy revelations, remember? HAMMOND: C'mon, Daniel, lighten up. It's not like we're about to give a bunch of alien Nazis the ultimate weapon for ethnic cleansing, is it? DANIEL: They never read the script, do they? O'NEILL: I'm supposed to be the cynical one, remember? DANIEL: You're not even IN this scene! JONAS: So? LORD YU: Do you have a problem with that? CARTER: Hey, have some water. ALAR: Yay us! We may be alien Nazis but you wuv us, right? CARTER: Um... after learning what happens to people I "wuv", you may want to reconsider that. O'NEILL: Zoom! Zoom! Boom! Boom! ENEMY BUT NOT REALLY ENEMY SHIPS: Yay us! Screw you alien Nazis! ALAR: Why does it never end like DS9? ANNOYING WOMAN: 'Cause we're evil, remember? ALAR: In the words of Captain Kirk: "Scotty, I believe we're screwed." ANNOYING WOMAN: I don't remember him saying tha.....oh. Right. THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to frag alien Nazis.