Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "Seth" by Nate the Great JACOB: Hi guys. Ready for another mission that will take up an hour of screen time? SG-1: Sure! TEAL'C: Indeed. JACOB: The Tok'ra have been trying to keep track of all of the Goa'uld but we can't find Seth. O'NEILL: Bummer. JACOB: We think he's still on Earth. O'NEILL: Double bummer. TEAL'C: Indeed. DANIEL: By accessing classified files that I don't have access to I have located Seth's latest cult. O'NEILL: Good for you. Let's go. JASON: Hi. My kid's in Seth's cult. Want to hear my sob story? O'NEILL: Maybe later. JASON: You gonna save my Tommy? O'NEILL: I'll think about it. Now go away. HAMNER: Hi. I'm the annoying ATF guy who does know what you're doing but still blindly follows. After exchanging a bit of pseudo-threatening banter with O'Neill, of course. O'NEILL: Whatever. Mind if I call the President? HAMNER: Why not? JACOB: Seth has this gas that can brainwash you and make you his slaves. O'NEILL: Oh goody. JACOB: The only way to cure it is by shocking the victim. CARTER: Like with a zat gun. JACOB: Teal'c and I are immune. CARTER: Too bad Seth can detect your Goa'ulds. JACOB: Yeah, bummer. TEAL'C: Indeed. HAMNER: The President says I can trust you. O'NEILL: I'm thrilled for you. CARTER: These gizmos will shock you after Seth has gassed you. O'NEILL: Great. By the way, what will he do to us? DANIEL: Well, Carter will be sent to his harem and we'll be posted as guards. Unless he makes us eunuchs. O'NEILL: Umm...I pick door number one, Pat! SETH: You will be my slaves! Here's some brainwashing gas. O'NEILL: I had gas for lunch. Maybe if you had a nice...Ack! SETH: You are all my guards. Repeat after me. 'Seth is great.' ALL: Seth is great. SETH: I didn't say Simon Says. Now you will be my eunuchs! JACOB: Shock them! TEAL'C: Indeed. O'NEILL: Ouch! Hi Seth. We're here to free your slaves. SETH: Yeah, right. Take them away! (O'Neill zats Tommy) DANIEL: Tommy, right? TOMMY: Yeah...do I know you? O'NEILL: That doesn't matter. You need to get these people out of here. TOMMY: OK. SETH: Eat bomb! O'NEILL: I had bomb-- SETH: You already did that joke! O'NEILL: Oh, never mind. SETH: Tok'ra scum! JACOB: Oh shut up. CARTER: Time to die! SETH: Why? CARTER: Our hour's up. SETH: Drat. THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to get zapped by an ear implant.