Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "Seth"
by Nate the Great
JACOB: Hi guys. Ready for another mission that will take up an hour of screen time?
JACOB: The Tok'ra have been trying to keep track of all of the Goa'uld but we can't find Seth.
JACOB: We think he's still on Earth.
O'NEILL: Double bummer.
DANIEL: By accessing classified files that I don't have access to I have located Seth's latest cult.
O'NEILL: Good for you. Let's go.
JASON: Hi. My kid's in Seth's cult. Want to hear my sob story?
O'NEILL: Maybe later.
JASON: You gonna save my Tommy?
O'NEILL: I'll think about it. Now go away.
HAMNER: Hi. I'm the annoying ATF guy who does know what you're doing but still blindly follows. After exchanging a bit of pseudo-threatening banter with O'Neill, of course.
O'NEILL: Whatever. Mind if I call the President?
HAMNER: Why not?
JACOB: Seth has this gas that can brainwash you and make you his slaves.
O'NEILL: Oh goody.
JACOB: The only way to cure it is by shocking the victim.
CARTER: Like with a zat gun.
JACOB: Teal'c and I are immune.
CARTER: Too bad Seth can detect your Goa'ulds.
JACOB: Yeah, bummer.
HAMNER: The President says I can trust you.
O'NEILL: I'm thrilled for you.
CARTER: These gizmos will shock you after Seth has gassed you.
O'NEILL: Great. By the way, what will he do to us?
DANIEL: Well, Carter will be sent to his harem and we'll be posted as guards. Unless he makes us eunuchs.
O'NEILL: Umm...I pick door number one, Pat!
SETH: You will be my slaves! Here's some brainwashing gas.
O'NEILL: I had gas for lunch. Maybe if you had a nice...Ack!
SETH: You are all my guards. Repeat after me. 'Seth is great.'
ALL: Seth is great.
SETH: I didn't say Simon Says. Now you will be my eunuchs!
JACOB: Shock them!
O'NEILL: Ouch! Hi Seth. We're here to free your slaves.
SETH: Yeah, right. Take them away!
(O'Neill zats Tommy)
DANIEL: Tommy, right?
TOMMY: Yeah...do I know you?
O'NEILL: That doesn't matter. You need to get these people out of here.
SETH: Eat bomb!
O'NEILL: I had bomb--
SETH: You already did that joke!
O'NEILL: Oh, never mind.
SETH: Tok'ra scum!
JACOB: Oh shut up.
CARTER: Time to die!
CARTER: Our hour's up.
Legal notices. You are number ### to get zapped by an ear implant.