Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "Window of Opportunity" by Nate the Great Malakai: I am the King of Groundhog Day! Bwaahaha! Daniel: Ack! O'Neill: Um, could we talk about th-- Gyrare! Daniel: I'm sorry, but I hate saying this line over and over again. What do you think? O'Neill: Like I'm about to become even more bored with that line than my Froot Loops are. O'Neill: I am not crazy! Hammond: Of course not. O'Neill: You don't have to be so patronizing. Hammond: Oh, yes I do. Hammond: The mission's off. O'Neill: Why does that common sense solution seem a little too good to be true? Stargate: Zappity zappity! O'Neill: Oh, yeah, that's just-- Gyrare! Daniel: I'm sorry, but I hate saying this line over and over again. What do you think? O'Neill: Can I plead insanity on this one? Hammond: The mission's off. O'Neill: Sorry, but we have to go. Hammond: Hey, I outrank---oh, shiny! O'Neill: Dogtags--work every time. Malakai: You can never defeat me, for I am the King of Groundhog Day! Bwahaha! O'Neill: Don't make me shoot you! Ruins: Zappity zappity! O'Neill: Oh, ra--- Gyrare! Daniel: I'm sorry, but I hate saying this line over and over again. What do you think? O'Neill: --ts. Would you mind repeating the question? Daniel: Yes. Daniel: Sorry, but in order to turn the time loop machine off, you'll have to learn Latin. O'Neill: Woohoo. Teal'c: Indeed. Carter: The time machine is hooking up all of these Stargates together. Hammond: But I thought you could only connect two Stargates at a time. Carter: Hey, I don't proofread the technobabble, I just read it! Gyrare! Daniel: E pluribus unum. O'Neill: Mi casa es tu casa. Teal'c: Indeed. Redshirt: Bam! Teal'c: Tell me something. You have lines but your name is not at the start of the show. What does that tell you? Redshirt: I'm not a recurring character. Teal'c: And why is that? Redshirt: Because I'm going to die in this one. Teal'c: Exactly. Gyrare! Teal'c: What's hanging bro? O'Neill: Okay, if you're using slang and I'm drawing faces with sauce, one of us is out of his mind. Teal'c: Indeed. Daniel: You do know that you could do anything? O'Neill: Not really? Daniel: And how many loops have you done not knowing that? O'Neill: Too many. Teal'c: Indeed. Gyrare! Redshirt: Bam! Teal'c: Okay, that's enough. Announcer? Announcer: Let's get ready to rumble! Gyrare! Teal'c: Punch! Redshirt: Ouch! Teal'c: You would not believe how good that felt. O'Neill: Okay, off the iris, through the wormhole, and off Rothman's big forehead. *Swing!* Rothman: Ouch! O'Neill: Boy that felt good. Teal'c: Indeed. Gyrare! O'Neill: Hey, Carter, plant a big one right here! Carter: Sir!? O'Neill: Not anymore, I resigned my commission. Hammond: But the paperwork takes days to--oh, shiny! O'Neill: Gotta love dogtags. Gyrare! Daniel: I finally figured out how to turn off the time machine. O'Neill: You mean I told you the translation it took me hundreds of loops to do and then you slaped some colorful slides together and took all of the credit. Daniel: Well, yeah... Malakai: So you're back. O'Neill: Yup. Malakai: I suppose you've come down to dissuade me from my horrific plot. Good luck. O'Neill: You watch way too much Next Gen. Teal'c: Indeed. Malakai: I want to be with my wife again! O'Neill: You didn't need to turn back time. We have a nifty quantum mirror that we could use to send you to another universe. Malakai: Cool! O'Neill: Too bad we only have five minutes left. Sorry. Malakai: Rats. Froot Loops: Yeah, it's finally over! No more being eaten by O'Neill. Oatmeal: Oh, stop bragging. Daniel: I know you must have done some crazy stuff while you were looping. O'Neill: What makes you say that? Daniel: Whenever you look at Carter you get a Chesire Cat grin. O'Neill: Oh, really? THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to plant one on Carter.