Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "Window of Opportunity" by Aussie Mel and Mrs Dr Daniel Jackson. JACK: Whatcha doin'? SAM: I'm setting up a remote observatory thingy that will monitor the atmosphere for bad stuff. JACK: OK, so are we going to get a tan or get fried to a crisp? SAM: I don't know. Haven't you read the script? DANIEL: This script looks familiar to a language that is spoken on Earth called Pig Latin. MALAKAI: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I'm going to shoot you now. DANIEL: Why? MALAKAI: I don't know, the script says to. (Teal'c and Jack grab Malakai in WWF style) TEAL'C: I do believe I hear something, Colonel O'Neill. JACK: What's that blue light do? LOOP DANIEL: What do you think? JACK: Me? Think? Are you nuts? (Briefing room) JACK: Hey. I'm experiencing a major case of deja vu here! TEAL'C: As am I. HAMMOND: Off to Doc Fraiser with you. FRAISER: They are perfectly normal, Sir. JACK: I told you so! I told you so! LOOP DANIEL: What do you want? JACK: Actually it's, "what do you think?" DANIEL: Huh? (Briefing room) JACK: It's magnets, Sir. Magnets. TEAL'C: Indeed. LOOP DANIEL: You guys have to become like me and learn to love Latin and love to learn Latin. JACK: Bummer. TEAL'C: Indeed. LOOP (Infirmary) JACK: Since when do my eyes cause hallucinations?... ok bad example. Sir. Request permission to return to planet p47dnyK, ah whatever it was. HAMMOND: Request denied, and Teal'c put that thermometer back in your mouth! LOOP DANIEL: Have you guys considered doing any thing crazy, since there are no consequences? JACK: MEEP MEEP! TEAL'C: (Raises eyebrow) LOOP (In gate room) JACK: Has any one seen my nine iron? TEAL'C: I believe it is the one in your hand, Colonel O'Neill. JACK: Right. I knew that! TEAL'C: (raises eyebrow) (Stargate engages and SG12 enters.) HAMMOND: What happened to you? SG12 COMMANDER: I'm not sure, Sir. The mission was going as planned when we were suddenly bombarded with golf balls. HAMMOND: Colonel O'Neill! LOOP HAMMOND: Colonel O'Neill. What is this? JACK: It's my resignation, Sir. SAM: But why, Sir? JACK: Well. I wouldn't be able to pat Hammond of Texas on the head if I didn't. HAMMOND: Don't even think about it! JACK: There was another reason. SAM: What's that? JACK: So I can do this! (Jack kisses Sam) LOOP (Back on planet p47dnyK, ah whatever it was) MALAKAI: You are too late, SG1! SAM: As a matter of fact, we are right on time. You should check your script! MALAKAI: (checks script) Oh. So you are. Sorry about that. JACK: Just turn off your shield so we can come in there and get you. MALAKAI: No! DANIEL: Pleeeeeeeeeease! MALAKAI: OK. Since you asked so nicely. LOOP BROKEN (SG1 return into gate room) HAMMOND: So I take it you broke the loop. TEAL'C: We did indeed, General Hammond. SAM: So, did anything exciting happen during the loops? JACK: Oh, you know, the usual. Learned Latin and how to juggle. Teal'c beat up a few guys. Daniel lost his glasses and you and I saw fireworks! THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to hit golf balls at SG12.