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Five-Minute Tomb Raider 3

India -> South Pacific Isles

Tribesman: Haha, shoulda picked Nevada.
Lara: Huh?
Tribesman: Er.... Ooga booga!

Australian: Whoa! Nice bikini top!
Lara: Er... nice stub of a leg...
Australian: What, that? Pfft. Just a scratch. Now let's talk about us....
Lara: Look, all I want is the friggin' map. Are you going to give it to me or no?
Australian: (sob) I haven't had a date in days! All because of my little "brush" with a native. He was the hungry one, not me. (sniff)
Lara: Aw, there there, it'll be okay.
Australian: Thanks.
Lara: Can I have the map?
Australian: Here. Can I (sniff) have a kiss?
Lara: Pfft.

Velociraptor: Skreech!
Lara: Oh no, this is the third installment! Maybe it's trying to communicate!
Velociraptor: Skreech!
Lara: Pow! ....Meh.

Tyrannosaurus Rex: ROAR!
Lara: Hey.... where's Spinosaurus?
T-Rex: Buh?
Lara: (That should keep 'em busy for a while.) Powpowpowpow!

Lara: Ahh! A native!
Islander: Ahh! A foreigner!
Lara: Hmm.... Aren't you going to eat me?
Islander: Nah, I only do that offscreen, and this is a third-person shooter.
Lara: Gotcha. You wouldn't happen to have a dug-out canoe or a raft, would you?
Islander: There's a kayak waiting for you next level.
Lara: Woo! Backwards gags abound with a word like 'kayak' ekil drow a htiw dnuoba sgag sdrawkcaB

Boater's Log: I wish I had a log....

Lara: Alas, the Temple of Puna! I must be wary of big cats.
Puna: Those would be pumas.
Lara: Well, who made you a deputy of the Vocabulary Patrol?
Puna: The same people who built me this massive temple. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an adventurer to fry.
Lara: Go right ahea-- Hmm, hold that thought.
Puna: Oka--
Lara: PowPowPowPowPowPow!
Puna: Hey, that's not f--GAK!
Lara: Argh... pumas better not be endangered....

To travel to Nevada, turn to page 3.
To press on to London, turn to page 7.