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The X-Files: Five-Minute "Redrum"

by Aragorngirl

An incursion of Time Travel Week

Radio Voice: Today's Friday, December 8. Say, did you all get that? Friday, December 8? That'll be important in just a sec. So to speak.
Guard: Come on. You're getting transferred.
Martin Wells: Huh? John?
Doggett: Come on. You're getting transferred.
Al: Bang. You're dead.

Scully: Recognize the key card?
Martin: Huh? Why am I in jail? And why do you have my apartment key?
Doggett: So it IS your key.
Martin: Yeah, so what?
Scully: So you probably used it to enter your apartment....
Martin: Uh huh....
Scully: And kill your wife.

Janet Wilson: Okay, don't act guilty.
Bailiff: So, we're in court, and it's Thursday, December 7...Did you all get that? Thursday, December 7?
Martin: The hell?
Janet: So, uh, can we have bail?
Judge Kinberg: Nope. He can get transferred to another prison, though.
Martin: Uh oh.

Doggett: So what do you want?
Martin: I don't remember anything.
Scully: Seriously? Nothing?
Martin: Who're you? Why am I in jail? And why the hell was my father in law shooting at me?
Doggett: Not funny.
Martin: Then why is my wife dead?
Scully: 'Cause you killed her. Three days ago.
Martin: Drat.

Martin: Uh oh. What if I really did kill her?

Martin: Courtney! Haley! My daughters!
Courtney: Sorry. Grandpa said we should hate you.
Martin: Oh, well. Say, Trina, how 'bout you bring in the convenient secret camera?
Trina: If you say so.

Janet: Why didn't you show me this before the bail hearing?
Martin: I hadn't met you before the hearing.
Janet: What if it shows you're guilty?
Martin: It won't.
Janet: Well, there's your wife, and then there's you, and there's the cops. Looks pretty clear.

Martin: Don't transfer me! Please!
Guard: Duh, okay. Wanna meet your lawyers?
Janet: Hi!
Martin: Hey, uh, how 'bout we forget about the tape, okay? Just pretend you didn't see it.
Janet: Tape? What tape?
Martin: Yes, exactly. That's the idea. Hey, what day is it?
Brent Tufeld: Wednesday, December 6. Did you all get that? Wednesday, December 6?
Martin: Huh? Say, wait a sec. Am I going backwards, or something?

Shorty: Hi there.
Martin: Hey, you're in prison because of me, aren't you?
Shorty: Yep. And I'm not the only one.

Martin: Agent Scully, help! I'm going backward in time!
Scully: How'd you know my name?
Martin: I just told you. I met you tomorrow.

Shorty: Why're you looking at pictures of your dead wife? You disturbed?
Martin: No, I want to know who did it.
Shorty: Well, I hope you figure it out...'cause it was you, and that way you'll get to stay in prison and get beat up every day.

Martin: It was...that...guy! The one guy. With the face, and the hand. Him. He did it.

TV Reporter: Well it's Tuesday, December 5...Did you all get that? Tuesday, December 5?
Martin: Way to beat it over my head. I've got it figured out, okay? Shut up.
Doggett: So, did you kill your wife?
Martin: No, but thanks anyway for letting me sleep at your house. It was this one guy. With a tattoo. He killed her. He's in jail now.
Doggett: Huh? How'd you know?
Martin: Well, you won't believe me when I tell you tomorrow, so I'm not even going to bother.
Doggett: He's not in jail.
Martin: Wait an hour and try again.

Martin: Look at the convenient hidden camera!
Doggett: It has you on it. But not at the time of the murder.
Martin: Toldja so.
Doggett: How'd the killer turn off the camera?
Martin: I dunno. Maybe the nanny told him.

Martin: You told the killer about the hidden camera! And you gave him my key!
Trina: Who told you that? Those sheep are liars, I swear!
Doggett: Wrong answer.
Cesar Ocampo: Drat. Foiled again.

Doggett: He won't talk.
Martin: Let me.
Doggett: But I'm better at interrogating....
Martin: Yeah, but it's more dramatic if I do it.

Martin: Why'd you kill my wife?
Cesar: You put my brother in prison.
Martin: So? He was a criminal.
Cesar: No, he wasn't.
Martin: Eh, well, win some, lose some.
Guard: You're under arrest.

Martin: Okay, I just woke up again, so it's Monday, December 3. Did you all get that? Monday, December 3? Something important's going to happen today, I just know it. What am I forgetting?

Martin: Please, don't let my wife get murdered!
Doggett: You're married? I haven't seen you in, like, ten years.
Martin: Yeah, yeah, but will you just call the cops already?
Doggett: Go away, it's two in the morning.
Martin: I did something bad. But I don't want my wife to get killed.
Doggett: I believe you now.

Cop: Okay, so why are we here?
Martin: Someone's going to attack my wife.
Cop: Sure, whatever.

Vicky: Honey, I'm home!
Martin: Oh, good, I thought you were dead.
Vicky: Nope, but the knife you're holding might've fixed that.

Vicky: Eeeeeeek!
Martin: Eeeek!
Cesar: Drat.

Martin: Dangit, prison again. At least my wife's alive, which I guess is something.


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This fiver was originally published on June 28, 2002.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by the eternally misnamed 20th-Century Fox. 5MV's intent isn't to infringe on that, though I'm tempted where Fox is concerned. Hey, think Mulder was named after them?

All material © 2002, Aragorngirl.