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The X-Files: Five-Minute "Within"

by Hejira

Mulder: Ahh!
Scully: Ahh!

Chris Carter: Last season on the X-Files, I screwed up big time. And Scully's still wearing her cross, so nyah to you 'shippers.

Scully: What are you doing in here?
Agent: Messing up the place, but don't complain to ME about it.

Skinner: I don't know anything about it either. Let's mention the baby again and meet our new boss.

Kersh: Hello Skinner, Scully. We're looking for Mulder - that's why we messed up the basement. And if you say anything about aliens, you're fired.

Skinner: I've gotta tell them the truth.
Scully: Don't.
Skinner: Why?
Scully: Because.
Skinner: Okay.

Doggett: Water?
Scully: Why not? You'll be getting it back anyway.
Doggett: I knew Mulder.
Scully: Really?
Doggett: No.
Scully: Okay. Here's your water. (splash)

(Scully coughs, er, throws up)
Scully: Mom, I know that you're not gonna be onscreen for sometime, so I'll just talk to an answering machine --
Scully: -- and get really angry at the new guy.

Scully: Get in the window! Oh, sorry, I didn't know that you were my landlord.
Coeben: I saw Mulder.
Scully: Really?
Coeben: I don't know, the script doesn't confirm or deny.
Scully: Okay, who took my computer?

Scully: ZZZZ...
Mulder: Ahh!

Gunmen: We've got stuff about UFOs.
Skinner: Could it help?
Gunmen: Maybe.

Kersh: Doggett, I think we should have a man to man talk.
Doggett: Dude.
Kersh: Dude.
Doggett: Dude.
Kersh: Dude.
Doggett: Nice to talk to you.
Kersh: See ya around.

Doggett: What are you doing here?
Scully: Going through MAJOR ANGST LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE, but I'm just feeding the fish.
Doggett: Me too. Oh, someone's said they just found Mulder.

Crane: Someone with Mulder's card just took some files.
Skinner: Mulder was just looking for the truth.
Kersh: Us too.

Scully: Skinner's not lying.
Doggett: Mulder was sending flowers to a gravestone - which is conveniently in this crate over here.

(The stone says:
Willy Mulder 1936 - Season 3
Teeny-Weeny Mulder 1941 - "Sein Und Zeit."
Sammy Mulder 1964 - "Closure," no, wait...
Foxy Mulder 1961 - RIGHT NOW, APPARENTLY)

Doggett: Here's a flashback to Sixth Extinction.
Skinner: Woah, waitaminit. First Scully gets the brain problems, then Mulder?
Scully: He should be thanking his lucky stars that he got abducted.

Doggett: He stole everything, too.
Skinner: He got abducted by aliens.
Doggett: Do I look like I care?

Langly: Aliens.
Byers: UFOs.
Frohike: Abductions.
Scully: We have to look for Gibson Praise.

Mulder: Ahh!
Scully: Gee, what a nightmare.

Crane: I found Gibson.
Doggett: Okay, let's go.

Scully: Aww, what a pretty, yet creepy, mirage...

Doggett: Gibson's done a runner. What are you doing here?
Scully and Skinner: Feeding the fish.
Doggett: Same.

Gibson: Let me go!
Doggett: Put him down, Mulder. I know it's you - you think CC would break a cliche?
Gibson: That's what YOU think!


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This fiver was originally published on March 25, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by the eternally misnamed 20th-Century Fox. 5MV's intent isn't to infringe on that, though I'm tempted where Fox is concerned. Hey, think Mulder was named after them?

All material © 2001, Hejira Hayes.