Five-Minute "Course: Oblivion"
Janeway: Wedding time! Do you, B'Elanna "Turtlehead" Torres, swear to die as soon as possible and inspire pathos?|
Torres: I do.
Janeway: And do you, Tom "Father of my lizard children" Paris, swear to get all angsty and bitter when said death occurs?
Paris: I do.
Janeway: I now pronounce you incorrectly. You may kiss the bride, Toom.
Chakotay: That does it...next time, I perform the ceremony.
Seven: Weddings are irrelevant and futile and all the usual adjectives.
Chakotay: With our new warp drive, we'll be home in a mere two years!
Neelix: What's so great about Earth?
Seven: Marriage is stupid.
Torres: Engineering seems to be melting.
Torres: YEAAAAAGGH! Why can't it ever be Tom who gets the flesh-eating virus?
Tuvok: And now to explain why the hull and crew are going wonky. (ahem)
Torres: Don't worry, I'm not going to die. GAK!
Chakotay: Let's reminisce about past missions. Hey, remember "Demon"?
Tuvok: We're the clones.
Janeway: Janeway to all hands: turns out we're all fictional.
Paris: Ha! I ain't obeyin' no clone! We might as well put a blow-up doll of Janeway in command.
Doc: We should look for the real Voyager.
Janeway: A Class-Y planet! Let's land.
Chakotay: Will you reverse course if I give you a quiet, heartfelt speech?
Janeway: Chakotay is dead. To honour his memory, I'll tell you an ancient folktale of my people.
Kim: Let's make a time capsule so we won't be forgotten.
Seven: Uh oh -- interstellar dust!
Kim: It's the real Voyager! Quick, take us out of warp!
Clone Voyager: FOOM
Real Tuvok: I'm detecting the wreckage of the clone Voyager, but I can't tell that's what it is.
Previous fiver: The Disease|
Next fiver: Think Tank
Got a comment on this fiver? Contact the author, Zeke.
DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.
All material © 2001, Zeke.