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Five-Minute "Prey"

by Zeke

Hirogen: We got him.

Doc: You have to learn to be more polite. Say "please" once in a while.
Seven: Bite me. Please.

Chakotay: Hmm...those Hirogen aren't shooting.
Janeway: Let's board their ship. That'll show 'em we mean no harm.

Chakotay: Wonder where the Hirogen headed?
Paris: Sir, at least one of them isn't headed anymore....

Paris: I swear, Ma'am, he was like that when I got there.
Janeway: But who could have done this to him?
8472: Oo! Oo! Me! Me!

Hirogen: All right, all right, it was our prey that did this. Now let me out of here!
Janeway: No way. We're going to fix you first.
Doc: Come on, try to beat me up! I dare you!

Tuvok: There's an 8472 on the ship!
Janeway: Damn! Where is it?
Torres: AAAAAUGH!
Janeway: That answers that.

Janeway: Here's the plan: we hunt the sucker down, but we don't kill it.
Seven: I'm okay with everything but that last part.
Janeway: Just do as I say. Hirogen Guy, come give us a hand.

Hirogen: My armor's better than yours.
Paris: Well, my armor's...um...whiter than yours.

Seven: I'm a little jumpy today.
Tuvok: Whoa! Watch where you're pointing that thing.

Chakotay: OW!
Paris: OW!
8472: OW!
Hirogen: OW!
Seven: OW!
Tuvok: Nobody shot you.
Seven: Just getting into the spirit.

Tuvok: It says it's just trying to get home.
Janeway: That sounds familiar. I'm switching sides.

Janeway: Come on, Seven, feel sorry for the poor evil monster!
Seven: No! Compassion sucks! You suck too!
Janeway: Go to your room, young lady!

Other Hirogen: Give us what we want or we'll blow you up.
Janeway: Hmm...no.
Other Hirogen: Blow 'em up, boys.

Hirogen: Ha! We meet again, prey-boy!
Doc: How do you even know it's a male?
Hirogen: Shut up, you!

Seven: Janeway can bite me. Energize!

Janeway: You energized the 8742!
Seven: Bite me.
Janeway: Stop repeating yourself! Well, you've really blown it this time. No TV for you for a month!
Seven: Oh, the agony.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

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This fiver was originally published on June 9, 2000.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2000, Zeke.