Link: Lalalalala.....
Skullkid: Boo!
Link: Arg!
Link: Can I chase after you pointlessly in an effort to get my stuff back?
Skullkid: Be my guest. But only if I can turn you into a harmless little plant.
Link: Deal!
Link: So who are you?
Mask Guy: I’m just a nobody who appears a total of once more in this game. Plus, I get to send you on the main quest.
Link: I got a quest! Get my stuff back!
Mask Guy: Tough luck. Save the world too.
Link: Rats. So, can I have that Mario mask?
Mask Guy: No. Why do Nintendo have to put these cheap references in?
Bombers: Hi.
Link: Bombs already! Cool!
Bombers: Nope, that’s just our name. We just play hide and seek.
Link: Damn.
Bombers: Do you want to....
Link: Why do I get all the boring jobs?
Skullkid: How’d you get up here so quickly?
Link: We missed some of the minor characters.
Skullkid: I guess that means you have to kill me now.
Link: Or I could blow bubbles at you and try to knock my Ocarina out of your pocket.
Skullkid: Take your pick.
Zelda: Well done.
Link: What, I beat the game?
Zelda: Nope, you got your Ocarina back. Now go back in time.
Link: What is it with people bossing me around?
Mask Guy: Here’s a charming song to turn you back into a human.
Link: How does that work?
Mask Guy: Shut up and save the world.
Koume: Find Kotake.
Kotake: Find Koume.
Link: Find each other.
Monkey: Fetch me a banana!
Link: These side quests are annoying me. I’m off to the first level.
Monkey: Save the Princess while you’re there.
Ocarina: Lalalala....
Temple: Hi!
Odolwa: Yah!
Link: A big guy with a mask. Now I’m scared.
Flies: Hi!
Link: Get away from me! (chop)
Guardian: Have a song.
Link: I thought you talked weird, so only Tatl could understand you.
Guardian: I’m too lazy to keep doing that.
Link: That works. I’m too lazy to keep listening to it.
Princess: You saved me!
Link: You’re not gonna be another Ruto, are you?
Princess: No.
Link: Good, I’ll put you in this bottle.
Darmani: I’m dead.
Link: Make your offer.
Darmani: Kill my ghost off as well and take my face.
Link: Suits me!
Elder: You’re dead.
Link/Darmani: In a way.
Elder: You’re spooking me. Go look after my son.
Ocarina: Lalalalalala....
Giant Goron: Bye!
Goht: (running running running)
Link/Darmani: (chasing chasing chasing)
Goht: Dammit.
Romani: Hi Grasshopper!
Grasshopper: You do know that’s the hero over there, don’t you?
Romani: Save the farm.
Grasshopper: Ummmmmm...
Ghosts: Stealing, stealing, stealing all the cows....
Link: (chop)
Cremia: Have a horse.
Mikau: I’m dying.
Link: (chop) You certainly are.
Professor: Find the eggs.
Link/Mikau: Righto.
Ocarina: Lalalalala....
Turtle: Hi!
Gyorg: Blurble.
Link: (chop)
Skeleton captain: Race me.
Link: That’s boring. How about I race you, kill you and then steal your treasure?
Skeleton: Now why didn’t I think of that?
Ghost: My brother killed me.
Link: I don’t believe you.
Ghost: I’m dead aren’t I?
Link: Hand over the song.
Ghost: I killed my brother.
Link: I can’t hear you....
Ocarina: Lalalala....
Ghost: Crap.
Skeleton King: Off, my minions!
Link: (chop)
Skeleton King: Die, Hero!
Link: (chop)
Skeleton King: Have a song.
Twinmold: Ha! We big, you small!
Link: Nope. I got this mask on the way. (chop)
Skullkid: Back for more?
Link: No, I wanted to perform this song for my dear friend.
Skullkid: Awww, how sweet.
Ocarina: Lalalalala....
Guardians: Hi.
Skullkid: Crap.
Moon: I’m coming!
Guardians: No you’re not!
Majora’s Mask: I’m going!
Link: Bye! I mean, no you’re not!
Majora’s Mask: Hehe.
Link: (chop)
Majora’s Incarnation: Hehe.
Link: (chop)
Majora’s Wrath: Hehe.
Link: (chop)
Majora’s Corpse: Bye!
Cutscene: Everyone’s happy, the end.
Link: So what now?
Tatl: Nothing.
Link: What about the other Zelda games?
Tatl: Nintendo said that was a different Link.
Link: But I’m bored! Lemme outta here!
Tatl: Never!
(Link chases Tatl at Ludicrous Speed)
THE END
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