Block 8 - Something is wrong with the world

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Trinity leads Neo in to see Morpheus, warning him to "Be honest. He knows more than you can possibly imagine." Morpheus shakes Neo's hand and they have a seat. The resistance leader (known to Neo as a famous hacker, like Trinity) begins to talk about fate and the question buried in Neo's mind: "What is the Matrix?" Morpheus claims the Matrix can't be described, but he offers Neo a chance to find out. He holds out two pills, one red and one blue. He states that if Neo takes the blue pill, he'll forget any of this has happened and return to his life; if he takes the red pill, Morpheus will show him how deep the rabbit hole goes.

After some hesitation, Neo takes the red pill. They walk into an adjoining room as Morpheus explains that the pill contained a trace program that will enable the team to locate Neo. (Apoc and Cypher are in this room operating the equipment.) Neo touches a large mirror which promptly starts to spread over him like paint, finally pouring down his throat. Neo screams and wakes up in the real world, hooked up to wires and suspended in a fluid-filled tube. A nasty-looking floating machine notices this and releases Neo, flushing the tank into what's presumably a waste disposal area. Terrified and gasping for breath, Neo surfaces and is found by the resistance team. "Welcome to the real world," Morpheus tells him.

Synopsis is here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/08-morpheus-proposal.txt), here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/09-down-the-rabbit-hole.txt), and here (http://www.hackvan.com/pub/stig/scripture/matrix/10-slimy-rebirth.txt). I'm not sure how many scenes this should be; I'll decide after I see what people come up with.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]This is just a first stab at this, so don't expect too much.

Trinity: Don't bother trying to fib - he knows [i:post_uid0]waaay[/i:post_uid0] more than you.
Neo: Stop rubbing the whole [i:post_uid0]Speed 2[/i:post_uid0] thing in already.
(Neo enters the indicated room)
Morpheus: We meet at last Mr. Neo.
Neo: Uhh....likewise.
Morpheus: So I expect you'll have a bucketload of questions that I will now procede to not answer in the most lenghty way possible.
Neo: Couldn't you just tell me that the Matrix is a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
Morpheus: Take all the fun out of it why don't you.

Morpheus: It's quite simple - take the blue pill and you'll wake up tomorrow believing that you spent tonight on the mother of all pub crawls, or you take the red pill, say "there's no place like home", and wake up in the real world.
Neo: I'll take the red pill please Carol.
Morpheus: It's actually part of some vaguely technobabbly stuff that will allow us to loacate your position.
Neo: But I'm right here! Sitting in this chair next to this mirror!
Trinity: What mirror?
Neo: (touches mirrors surface) This one right here....oh, crap.
(CGI kicks in; sliver stuff starts to cover Neo)
Neo: OH CRAAAAA.....

(Neo wakes up in the life support pod thingy)
Neo:....AAAAAP! (looks around) Huh? I guess that must be the worst of that over then.
Big Nasty Looking Robot: Hi there.
(Robot disconscts Neo from cables; pod drains taking Neo with it)
Neo: OHCRAPHEREIGOAGAIN!
(Neo exits chute, falling into water; he is then winched up into a wating hovercraft)
Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo: Charming place you're got here. The decor says homely, but the neighbourhood says "I hope you've had all your shots."
Trinity: Enough with the wisecracks, and be warned: if you strike him down, he will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine ((possible parallelism here)).
Morpheus: Welcome to my parlour. To sleep, perchance to dream.
Neo: What are you on about?
Morpheus: I have no idea. Somebody else can write this bit.


Morpheus: If you eat the blue M&M, you will remember none of this. If you eat the green M&M, all will be revealed in the fullness of time.
Neo: What about the red one?
Morpheus: Nonononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
Neo: Why not?
Morpheus: The red ones are my favourite.

Neo: Eww, I got mirror on my fingers. Get it off.
Somebody Other Than Morpheus: Did you ever see that old B-movie "The Blob"?
Neo: Part of it. How did it end?
SOTM: Well, a lot of people got eaten, and then...
Cypher: Computer, end program.
Mirror blob: Gloop!
Neo: Gak! Rats. Now I'll never know how it ended.

SFX Interlude

Neo: I'm naked, bald, floating in goo and wired up like a reject from a bad science fiction movie. What else can possibly go wrong? (Spider-thing peers into Neo's cell) I have got to stop saying that.
Capsule contents (and Neo): Flush!
Futuristic coptor: Grab!
Morpheus: (witty tagline to end this scene on - probably PHJ's Alice line, since that seems to be the consensus)

Obviously, ad hoc composition is not my friend. Feel free to tinker around with this. I may go back and edit if a punchline or joke strikes my fancy.

Alternate, slightly sillier version:

Apoc (or Cypher...I really don't know which is which): We aren't picking up his signal.
Morpheus: Curses! Go to Plan B.
(Apoc and Cypher dash into the real world and begin looking through each capsule individually): No...no...no...no...

(reflective pause)

Wow, am I unfunny today.[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I love this line.[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay...here goes:

Trinity: Alright, we're here. Now don't fib, because if you do you won't be getting any cookies later.
Neo: aww...

Morpheus: Hey
Neo: Hey
Morpheus: I'm here to tell you the truth about your world.
Neo: I'm confused
Morpheus: You ever played Everquest?
Neo: Ummmm....
Morpheus: Here, take a pill, you'll understand later.

Neo: Ooooh...cool....the mirror's gone all funky...
Morpheus: Ah, the pill is starting to have it's effect.
Trinity: Actually, he's like this all the time.
Neo: mmmm....shiny....

Neo: ACK! I'm covered in slime! What the spluck happened last night?
Robot: Hiya
Neo: Was it something I ate?
(Neo gets flushed)
Neo: This is the best waterslide EVER!

Morpheus: Welcome to the real world
Neo: Can I go down the slide again?
Morpheus: Oh god, what have I done?

EDIT: This is my [i:post_uid0]very[/i:post_uid0] first attempt at the fiver style, so any kind of imput on this is welcome![/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Trinity: Be honest. He knows more than you possibly can imagine.
Neo: Huh, I seem to get that a lot.

Morpheus: Neo? Who would like to learn the truth about reality?
Neo: Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening. I was watching the shadows on the wall.
Morpheus: Look, the truth is behind Door Number 1, or Door Number 2.
Neo: Um, I'll take Door Number 1.
Morpheus: And... it's a new car!
Neo: Gnarly!
Morpheus: Naw, I'm just kidding. It's a chair and a broken mirror.
Neo: Dang.

Morpheus: Now, we're running a trace program to locate your pod.
Neo: Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening. I was checking out this stupid broken mirror.
Odo: Who are you calling stupid?
(wakes up in a tub of goo)
Neo: AAAAAAAA! Oh wait, it's a dream....
Robot: Wake up in pink goo often?
Neo: Erm... no.
(Neo exits chute, falling into water; he is picked up in a waiting hovercraft)
Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...

I added PHJ's line, since Zeke expressed a like in it :)[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]How [i:post_uid0]did[/i:post_uid0] we play this? :S

I think I came up with something like this...

[quote:post_uid0]Trinity: Neo, it's time for you to meet my boss, Morpheus.
Neo: Wow! You get to boss God around? That is so unbelievable, man!
Morpheus: Pfft. You don't know unbelievable until you've swallowed this pill.
Neo: I'll take it.
Morpheus: All right, sit here. Trinity, get to work on the setup.
Neo: OK. Ooo, a mirror. I love mirrors, they remind me of why I get such huge movie contracts. Hey, Trinity, would you mind if I adjust this mirror a little so I can see myself better?
Trinity: Hmm? Fine, knock yourself out, just let me work. And don't touch the glass part, no matter wh--
Neo: ACK!
Trinity: Oops, too late.[/quote:post_uid0]

(Edit) Oddly enough, I think my scene is the least funny so far. :lol: I guess we've got our second wind after taking that enforced break.[/color:post_uid0]

[Draknek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I really like the M&M bit, as well as the chair and a broken mirror scene.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I am doing one part for right now, I will do the rest after work tonight.

This part takes place after he wakes up and sees all the robots.

*flushed*
Neo:Oh look, this must be the rabbit hole.
Neo:Weeeeeee!!!
*5 minutes later*
Neo:This is some hole
*5 hours later**splash*
Neo: About time!
Morpheus: Hello Alice. How was the trip?[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like what I see so far, which naturally means I have the urge to play with it myself.

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question... what is the matrix?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Is it a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Take all the fun out of it, why don't you.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's quite simple. If you eat a blue smartie, you'll wake up tomorrow with the mother of all hangovers. Or, you can eat a green smartie and --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What about that red smartie?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Nononono! Not the red one!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why not?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] You're supposed to eat the red ones last.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] AAAAAAAAA! Oh wait, it's a dream....
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] It is? Then you won't mind if I pinch you. And by "pinch," I mean "flush."
(WHOOSH)
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us.[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]:::sigh:::
Well, I guess my first fiver attempt wasn't funny enough.

Back to the drawing board!

BTW, great work Kira, and all others that contributed to that compilation! :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Actually, Wonko, this paragraph was one of my favorites out of all the submissions:

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Ooooh...cool....the mirror's gone all funky...
Morpheus: Ah, the pill is starting to have its effect.
Trinity: Actually, he's like this all the time.
Neo: mmmm....shiny....[/quote:post_uid0]

Along with

[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: So I expect you'll have a bucketload of questions that I will now procede to not answer in the most lenghty way possible.
Neo: Couldn't you just tell me that the Matrix is a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
Morpheus: Take all the fun out of it why don't you.[/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Welcome to my parlour. To sleep, perchance to dream.
Neo: What are you on about?
Morpheus: I have no idea. Somebody else can write this bit.
[i:post_uid0][I know that last line isn't really intended, but I still got a kick out of it.][/i:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[quote:post_uid0]sax's entire post[/quote:post_uid0]
Plus the ones quoted below.

Come to think of it, we could keep up with the knock-knock joke joke...
[quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: Hello, Neo. I know you have a question...
Neo: Yes, I do. *ahem* Who's there? [or however far the joke got]
Morpheus: No, Neo, the other one. "What is the Matrix?" And let me tell you, I'm gonna enjoy frustrating you out of your mind with a long enigmatic monologue.
Neo: Lemme guess. Is it a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
Morpheus: Aargh! Take all the fun out of it, why don't you. The witch must have told you! Didn't she? Didn't she?[/quote:post_uid0]


All right, here's a possible combination:

[quote:post_uid0]Neo: Charming place you're got here. The decor says homely, but the neighbourhood says "I hope you've had all your shots."
Trinity: Enough with the wisecracks, and be warned: if you strike him down, he will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Morpheus: If you eat the blue M&M, you will remember none of this. If you eat the green M&M, all will be revealed in the fullness of time.
Neo: What about the red one?
Morpheus: Nonononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
Neo: Why not?
Morpheus: The red ones are my favourite.

Neo: Ooooh...cool....the mirror's gone all funky...
Morpheus: Ah, I see the pill is starting to have its effect.
Trinity: Actually, he's like this all the time.
Neo: mmmm....shiny....

Neo: I'm naked, bald, floating in disgusting goo and wired up like a reject from a bad science fiction movie. What else can possibly go wrong? [i:post_uid0](Spider-thing peers into Neo's cell)[/i:post_uid0] I have [i:post_uid0]got[/i:post_uid0] to stop saying that.
Capsule contents (and Neo): Flush!
Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Kira's version looks pretty good to me. I don't think we're far from a final version here.[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Thanks Naht! But I agree with PHJ, I think we're pretty much done. Not to glorify myself, but I'd still like to see my scene with 'the pill is starting to have it's effect' scene put in there.

That might make it too long though. It's just a thought, but I love the M&M bit![/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hm, I seem to have missed that scene when I perused the thread. I'm inclined to agree it should be included since it's hilarious. I think it could go in between the second and third scenes in my version without affecting anything.

As for the M&M/Smarties bit, I'm torn between "The red ones are my favorite" and "You're supposed to eat the red ones last" as a punchline. I stuck with the latter mostly for diversity, but if the former is more popular it works too.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I, obviously, prefer the "they're my favorite" line.

Just so I don't have to go hunting through the fivers for key words: Are we using American or British spelling here?[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Are we using American or British spelling here?[/quote:post_uid0]

Canadian.

I should probably explain some of my ramblings. The "Sleep, perchance to dream" thing comes from the fact that "Morpheus" means "sleep." The "Computer, end program" resonates with Reg Barclay worrying if his entire reality is a holoprogram in a box on somebody's desk at the end of...uhhh...the second Moriarty episode. It kinda ties in with the theme of the movie. These were just random intejections, and didn't really seem to fit (as can be seen from "I have no idea. Somebody else can write this bit"). Something to keep in mind if somebody's stuck further on down the road.

The "Nonononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one!" is derived from a line from an old Loony Toons cartoon. I had it as a wave file on the old computer. I have all sorts of clutter and detritus floating around in the back of my memory.

Can anyone remember the episode?

And NAHT, you're gonna turn my head if you keep using my scenes *g*[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like what Kira came up with - it's nice :)

I thought the pills looked more like Mike and Ikes - but M&M/Smarties are good too - since your obviouly making references.

Which, BTW, I was trying to do with the shadows on the wall - but I'm sure the Lennon/Plato, or just Plato theme can come up some other time.[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]So are we done here?

I really like Kira's compilation there, with the "you're supposed to eat the red ones last" line.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Call me biased, but I'm in favour of "The red ones are my favourite."

There isn't really anything else in my submission that I'm too attached to, save maybe the opening line.

Kira's compilation (with Wonko's mirror scene) seems good, save for the preference noted above.

I got my M&M scene in. No need to get greedy.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]The "Nonononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one!" is derived from a line from an old Loony Toons cartoon. I had it as a wave file on the old computer. I have all sorts of clutter and detritus floating around in the back of my memory.

Can anyone remember the episode?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]The Looney Tunes episode? Sure. It's the one where Daffy sells Porky the ultramodernized house.

On a different note entirely, I like "the red ones are my favorite" better than "you're supposed to eat the red ones last."[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'll just voice my preference for "the red ones are my favorite."

But then that makes me think of "What is it about the green ones."

Wonder if that can fit in another scene...[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Let's see if I can put together a version with the M&M's and Wonko's scene.

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question... what is the matrix?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Is it a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Take all the fun out of it, why don't you.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's quite simple. If you eat a blue M&M, you'll wake up tomorrow with the mother of all hangovers. Or, you can eat a green M&M and --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What about that red M&M?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Nononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why not?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The red ones are my favourite.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ooooh....cool....the mirror's gone all funky....
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, the pill is starting to have its effect.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, he's like this all the time.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Mmmm....shiny....

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] AAAAAAAAA! Oh wait, it's a dream....
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] It is? Then you won't mind if I pinch you. And by "pinch," I mean "flush."
(WHOOSH)
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*tentatively raises hand*

I like Kira's version too.

[quote:post_uid0="Saxamaphone"]I thought the pills looked more like Mike and Ikes - but M&M/Smarties are good too - since your obviouly making references.[/quote:post_uid0]

I thought the pills looked like NyQuil and DayQuil. Too hard to make the joke out of that though.

~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yay! Someone else who say NyQuil and DayQuil. I only said Mike and Ikes cause of the candy thing.

^5 tho.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Trinity: Beyond this door lies all your answers.
Neo: Cool
*opens door*
Morpheus: It is great to finally meet The One
Neo: I thought you were The One
Morpheus: Don't make this difficult

Morpheus: So you want to know what the matrix is?
Neo: All I know that the movie kicked ass
Morpheus: Then you should know what comes next
Neo: Is this where I pick between the two pills?
Morpheus: Yes, but we are all out of pills, so we are having to make due with candy.

Morpheus: This will be as simple as day and night
Neo: Go on.
Morpheus: If you take this NyQuil Pill, you will sleep like a log and wake up in the morning thinking this was a dream. Take the DayQuil Pill, you will see just how far the rabbit hole goes.
Neo: Is Trinity at the end of the rabbit hole?
Morpheus: Yes
Neo: DayQuil it is then.

Morpheus: Hold still while we find you
Neo: But I am right here
Morpheus: Geez, just look at yourself in that mirror while we free your mind.
*Neo touches mirror*
Neo: HELP!! The mirror is attacking me!
Morpheus: Oh how I love the attacking mirror trick. Great for April Fool jokes.

*flushed*
Neo:Oh look, this must be the rabbit hole.
Neo:Weeeeeee!!!
*5 minutes later*
Neo:This is some deep rabbit hole
*5 hours later**splash*
Neo: About time!
Morpheus: Hello Alice. How was the trip?
Neo: Hey, where is Trinity?
Trinity: I'm over here eating lunch.

*Alternate*
Morpheus: Hey Neo, welcome to the real world
Neo: The Real World? You mean I am on MTV?
Morpheus: Far From it
Trinity: Smile, your on candid camera
Neo: D'oh[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]"Quil" and "pill" rhyme.

It makes Laurence Fishburne sound funny. ;)


~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like sax's compilation (sorry NM)![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I like Sax's too, but NeoMatrix's scene is good as well.

(There are just so many good possibilities here--aargh! ;))


I'm not suggesting we use this following scene, but the idea is too good to allow to just slip into oblivion:


Neo: Am I ready to learn the truth, Master?
Morpheus: You will be ready to leave this place when you are able to take this M&M from my hand. On the count of thr--
Neo: Ooo, we're using candy now? Yummy! *grab*
Morpheus: Hey! That's cheating! Just for that, you must take the scenic route.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think the latest compilation from sax sums it up nicely.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]It'll do, though I was hoping for a [i:post_uid0]WoO[/i:post_uid0] reference with the pill. The M&M's thing, while not being my favoite take on that scene, I can live with.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Just playing around with what sax put up. I actually like what we already have, but I wanted to have some fun while I'm on my lunch hour.

By the way, I prefer the M&M thing to the DayQuil, but I put in a DayQuil joke anyway.

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question that is eating away at you, and now you can ask that question.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Then you can tell me where I can get shades like that?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I'm going to pretend I heard "What is the Matrix?"

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's quite simple. Take the NyQuil and you'll wake up thinking this was a dream. Take the DayQuil, and you can see what the Matrix really is.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] DayQuil?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's the kung-fu fighting, high-jumping, bullet-dodging, spoon-denying, agent-killing so you can be The One medicine.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ooooh....cool....the mirror's gone all funky....
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, the pill is starting to have its effect.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, he's like this all the time.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Mmmm....shiny....

[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] Hey! I can see his head! It's a boy!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sigh. As if the birth symbolism wasn't obvious enough.
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] I think you mean [i:post_uid0]rebirth[/i:post_uid0].
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] No, rebirth is done with water.
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] That can be arranged.
(WHOOSH!)
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hey look, everyone! It's a boy!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sigh.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think we should adopt that new first scene, but as for the rest I like it as is. The DayQuil joke [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] hilarious, but it doesn't beat the M&M bit.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The first scene *and* the robot scene. I think that's the first attempt at that part that's made me chuckle.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*echoes Sa'ar*

re: DayQuil.

Yeah, I know what you mean, Kira. It's a shame, though: Derek really made the DayQuil joke work. :)

Maybe I'll just memorialize it in my signature. ;)

~Nan[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Morpheus: It's the kung-fu fighting, high-jumping, bullet-dodging, spoon-denying, agent-killing so you can be The One medicine[/quote:post_uid0]

I loved that line, its a keeper.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think it's hilarious too, but the M&M joke has more appeal since it's easier to get.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think you are outnumbered on that one, we all like the DayQuil joke[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]While I too like the DayQuil joke, I think I'll side with Kira on this one. (Although I haven't seen the movie, so I don't know what the pills look like.) (Come to think of it, I don't know what DayQuil pills look like, either.) (For all I know, since the term "DayQuil" isn't nearly as "mainstream" as "M&M's", it might still be copyrighted...) (Don't mind this, I'm just using this sentence as an excuse to keep up the weird parade of parentheses.) (Ooo, "parade of parentheses"...I like that.) (After all, it's alliterative, and both words have the same pattern of stressing on their first two syllables.) (Plus the first syllable of each is the same three letters, of course.)[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quote:post_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I think you are outnumbered on that one, we all like the DayQuil joke[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]"All" is a stretch when a grand total of four people had posted. And I barely got the DayQuil joke, by the way -- I vaguely know the commercial, but I wouldn't have known to associate it with that medicine. Other readers might not have seen it at all. I'm with Nah and Nan in agreeing with Kira here.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sounds like the general consensus is to stick with the M&M bit then. Does anyone besides Sa'ar Chasm feel strongly about Derek's twist on the robot scene?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[quote:post_uid0="Kira"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Sounds like the general consensus is to stick with the M&M bit then. Does anyone besides Sa'ar Chasm feel strongly about Derek's twist on the robot scene?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]It's good, but I think I like Sax's better.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I have to say I prefer Sax's version too.[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I do like the DayQuil joke as well - but the M&M's would probably be more universal (since we [i:post_uid0]do[/i:post_uid0] have an international audience ;) )

As to the robot scene, you could make a commentary with anyone the number of symbols and allusions, and we can talk about rebirth later :) Like, I wanna get something in about the [i:post_uid0]Allegory of the Cave[/i:post_uid0] - so, we'll see.

I'm in agreement with Kira - so I put something it together, again - just so we could take a look at it to see if it flows well:


[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question that is eating away at you, and now you can ask that question.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Then you can tell me where I can get shades like that?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I'm going to pretend I heard "What is the Matrix?"

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's quite simple. If you eat a blue M&M, you'll wake up tomorrow with the mother of all hangovers. Or, you can eat a green M&M and --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What about that red M&M?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Nononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why not?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The red ones are my favourite.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ooooh....cool....the mirror's gone all funky....
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, the pill is starting to have its effect.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, he's like this all the time.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Mmmm....shiny....

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] AAAAAAAAA! Oh wait, it's a dream....
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] It is? Then you won't mind if I pinch you. And by "pinch," I mean "flush."
(WHOOSH)
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Here is a mixture that I like. I am abandoning the Dayquil and going with the M&M's.

Trinity: We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
Neo: Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
Morpheus: Hello, Neo. I know you have a question... what is the matrix?
Neo: Is it a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
Morpheus: Take all the fun out of it, why don't you.

Morpheus: Want some candy?
Neo: You got M&M's?
Morpheus: Only 2 left.
Neo: Darn
Morpheus: Let me tell you something about them. The Blue M&M is less filling and you will wake up in the morning with a nasty hangover. The Red M&M will fill you up, and you will flushed by robots and find out how deep the rabbit hole goes?
Neo: Hmmm, tough choice.
Morpheus: Wanna learn Kung Fo? Eat the red one
Neo: Whoa! Red it is then.

Neo: AAAAAAAAA! Oh wait, it's a dream....
Robot: It is? Then you won't mind if I pinch you. And by "pinch," I mean "flush."
(WHOOSH)
Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us.
Neo: So when do I learn Kung Fu?[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I agree with Sa'ar - Derek's robot scene is much better. May be improved with a couple of tiny changes of phrase:

[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] Hey! I can see his head! It's a boy!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Gee, thanks. As if the birth symbolism wasn't obvious enough.
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] I think you mean rebirth.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] No, rebirth is when you're dunked in water.
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] That can be arranged.
(WHOOSH!)
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hey look, everyone! It's a boy!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sigh.

I don't like the following as much, but I like it better than some of the other suggestions so far:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey! You promised M&Ms and rabbit holes, not goo and Borg implants! Get these tubes out of my body!
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] Sure thing, Neo!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Good! Now get me something to wash this pink gunk off!
[i:post_uid0](FLUSH)[/i:post_uid0]

Also, the two threads on Morpheus and the Question might be possible to combine into one:

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question, a question that is eating away at you, and here... here, you can find the answer to that question.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Then you can tell me where I can get shades like that?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I'm going to pretend I heard, "What is the Matrix?"
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh. Is it a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Take all the fun out of it, why don't you.

As for the DayQuil, I must confess - as part of aforementioned "international audience," I ain't got a clue what it is. I can get the joke from the context, but I say drop the Quils. The M&M joke is great.

Am looking forward to a block where I get in before the whole scene is written. :)[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Standback"][b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey! You promised M&Ms and rabbit holes, not goo and Borg implants! Get these tubes out of my body!
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] Sure thing, Neo!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Good! Now get me something to wash this pink gunk off!
[i:post_uid0](FLUSH)[/i:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
You know, I remember thinking about a Borg joke for this scene earlier, but we were on Block 4 or so at the time. But I think if there's going to be a good Borg joke it has to be here. Um, how about:

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I am Neo of Borg. Resistance is futile.
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, like that's the first time I've heard [i:post_uid0]that[/i:post_uid0]. Hold still while I unplug you.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I will be dissimilated.
(FLUSH!)

You could also work in some reference to BoBW or Unimatrix Zero, the latter probably being better because a dream world built by drones has just a number of similarities to [i:post_uid0]The Matrix[/i:post_uid0]. (Maybe you could talk about Neo being cut off from the "hive mind" or something, I don't know.)

Edit: ARGH! Why does !) always become a smiley?[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oo, I like that one. As for combining the two question scenes, I think it's a good idea in principle but Morpheus' "I'm going to pretend I heard 'What is the matrix?'" works best as the last line of the scene.[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Agreed. But better in the middle than not at all, neh?

Or we could split it up, as follows:

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question, a question that is eating away at you, and here... here, you can find the answer to that question.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Then you can tell me where I can get shades like that?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I'm going to pretend I heard, "What is the Matrix?"

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The Matrix is all around us, Neo. It is in the food you eat and in the air you breathe. It is in the crud that gradually collects underneath your sofa, it is in those weird little forks you're supposed to use for olives or whatever, it is even in those vegetarian "meatlike" substances made of soy.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What about the ones made of tofu?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] We're not certain yet. Inquiries are proceeding.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, I get it. The Matrix is just a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it, right?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Take all the fun out of it, why don't you.[/color:post_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think trying to keep both of those jokes makes the block too long. Speaking of which, this is taking a ridiculously long time, so here's yet another version of the sort-of-consensus so far. Can we all agree on this, by any chance?

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question that is eating away at you, and now you can ask that question.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Then you can tell me where I can get shades like that?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I'm going to pretend I heard "What is the Matrix?"

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's quite simple. If you eat a blue M&M, you'll wake up tomorrow with the mother of all hangovers. Or, you can eat a green M&M and --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What about that red M&M?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Nononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why not?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The red ones are my favourite.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ooooh... cool... the mirror's gone all funky....
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, the pill is starting to have its effect.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, he's like this all the time.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Mmmm... shiny....

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I am Neo of Borg. Resistance is futile.
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, like that's the first time I've heard that. Hold still while I unplug you.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I will be dissimilated.
([i:post_uid0]FLUSH![/i:post_uid0])
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, Alice. Glad you could join is.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I really like Standback's latest scene as well, but I'll vote for Kira's latest version, with the provision that she change that last "is" to the more appropriate "us".[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I agree with NAH...and Kira. Let's get on to the next block already.[/color:post_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*shrugs, smiles, carries on*

Is looking good. :D[/color:post_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Just when you thought it was all over...

lol - yes, a vote for Kira's :)[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Kira has my vote. The Borg joke is a great addition.

(The following is just a little something I made up. You do not have to consider adapting it to the fiver.)

(Neo Wakes Up)
Neo: What am I doing in a Borg Cube?
Borg Robot: Prepare to be Re-assimulated
Neo: No
Borg Robot: Resistance is Flushing
Neo: I thought is was futile
Borg Robot: Quiet Trekkie (Flushes Neo)
Neo: Wow, a borg cube with a water slide (Splash)
Morpheus: We were borg. Resistance was Futile.
Neo: Am I in Star Trek Hell?
Morpheus: Far From it[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I prefered the 'virtual construct' bit to the 'sunglasses' bit, but if everyone is going with Kira's version I guess I might as well do so to.[/color:post_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Agreed. Let's go on to Block 9.[/color:post_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Right, then -- thread closed.[/color:post_uid0]