Answer --> Question game

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you know what's in that giant bouncing box marked 'Extremely Dangerous?

A: al al al al al al al al aF[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So this is Backwards Christmas Carol World. What do you think?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I've spent wayyy too much time online gaming, it seems...[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Um, taya, why do you keep pressing your hand where the words ctrl+shift are written.

A: a magic wand, a tutu, and a little pink tiara[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: John Sheridan, what do you think would have improved Legolas's outfit in LOTR? And dont say pizza.


A: I'm Captian Jack Sparrow, and I'm the newest Captian of the Enterprise. I just need someone to explain to me what "technobabble" is.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey you! Yeah, that cute guy in the corner... who are you?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Well, I did put out a call for all angels...[/color:post_uid0]

[Technobabble]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Chakotay, Why are Harry, Tom and Tuvok wearing distubingly tight PVC jumpsuits?

A: Moo! I think.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How do you say "Pardon me, but you're standing on my foot" in cow?

A: You're gonna see your Sheba shimmy shake.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. I'm thinking of sculpting a figure of the Queen of Sheba, but I'm not sure I should do it around here. What if there's an earthquake or something?

A. Because there is no spoon in "team"![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So how come we can bring pizza and pie to the team party, but not pudding and ice cream?


A: Poser! Loser! Dozer! and that was just the first 5 minutes![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] If you were given one hour alone with George W. Bush, what would you say to him?





[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Well, SOMEBODY here has been watching too much "Tron"...[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey Taya, wanna come see my Tron collection?

A: Captain, we have been stopped at this red light for about an hour. There are no cops in this sector.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q: [/b:post_uid0] Why are you complaining about us stopping by the red giant, Mr Paris?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Shalalala, it's so nice to be happy, shalalala...[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Taya, you have been nice to me lately. And why have you been so happy?

A: Danger Danger Danger[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, my name is Will Robinson. Do you have any advice for me?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] We are so dead.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Odd...my heart stopped beating.

A: You're making this up as you go.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] And then the hydrogen ions are brought across the intermembrane space by the complexes creating a proton gradient across the membrane which results in-- are you following me?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Oh my goodness, no![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Did you hear of the new show, "The Janeway/Troy McClure Variety Hour"?



A: Yes they will.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Come on, Mr President! The people are not going to believe this "weapons of mass destruction" shit... are they?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Ooh look! A crunchy biscuit![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: And so, now this important for the test, a child raised in an enviroment insufficient in stimuli will be a dull, perhaps even intellectually stunted adult. Socially, this individual will...taya, are you even listening to me?


A: Johnny Depp didnt take it, it wasnt up to his standards.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do you mean you couldn't get any cute guys for the set of our remake of "The Attack of the Mutant Killer Toenail Clippings II"? Huh? Huh?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I'm not even going to try answering that question.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q; Okay, so like, I think Dave likes Trina, but he's like, soooo pretending he likes Rick, he even ducttaped him to his bed right, but its so obvios, and I mean, I like Dave and Rick, so I'm all like, AAAAA stop it, let me have one already, and now its just wierd, cus Trina wants to go out with Dave but she knows I would too and so she wont make a move and Im all like okay so my question is, should I duct tape Dave AND Rick to the bed next time I'm over and just see who responds to me the best?

A: I think that the use of that word must be made mandatory.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do you mean, you're passing a Bill which stipulates that everybody has to use the word 'pie' in a sentence at least once?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Use the Force, Luke! Use the Force![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Luke Wilson: So people keep mistaking me for my brother, what should I do to stop it?


A: 666 Heckraiser Ave, Jack@ss City, Meany Province, ReallyStupidInsults, Planet Stupid.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So you know George W. Bush's REAL address? Spill!



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] So long, farewell, it's time to say goodbye...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: It's been a lovely evening, but the night is still young. I know! I can show you my vacation slides from my trip to the box factory.

A: Money makes ze vorld go round, ze vorld go round, ze vorld go round...[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey Londo, did you say you found this song that Human parents sing to kids everywhere? Let's hear it!



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, it's just a passing FAD...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: This ingestion of raw nutrients through the oral cavity the mortals are practicing...what's your opinion of it?

A: Stupid Telus[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do grammatically-challenged morons say when they want someone to spill his deepest, darkest secrets?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Meet my cofactor, coenzyme Q...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What are you doing with that dog? And I don't mean the puppy.

A: My eyes adored you, though I never laid a hand on you.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Sa'ar, my life's too normal right now. Can you please weird me out?

A: No, really, I never would have guessed.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: There ARE four lights! Not Five! Four! But I guess you would have guessed that, right?



A: George Bush didnt get it.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: We have a spare brain left over. Who didn't receive their delivery?

A: After a grueling four-hour workday, it's time for my two-hour commute. I need a real home.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Chakotay, why are you grumbling? The turbolift's just broken down and we all have to walk back to our quarters, that's all...



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I will not watch the ocean; no earthly ships will ever bring him home again.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey, its your turn to watch for Captain Kirk return to earth in the Klingon Ship.

A: Rolling Blackouts will occur on Voyager today, so get your coffee now.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What does the Plot Bunny Wheel of DOOM have for us today, and what do we need to prepare for it?


A: Candy canes and piano books, dude![/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: And what will we be needing for your next disturbing christmas-party game?

A: Don't talk to them, they'll eat you![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Oh look over there, purple tribbles!

A: Please report to the mess hall for the Recall Election for Transporter Room Operator[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Leut. O'Brian: Where do I go with these 200 redshirts and this tall, muscular Austrian guy?



A: Welcome to *zzzzzzzzzshhhhhhh*. In case of emergency, please *bbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzs* your *garblegarblegarble* and *eeeeeeeeeeeeee* with *bzzzzzzz* to the *zzzzzzzzzhhhhhhssssssssshhhhhhhhh*.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So why exactly is this airline so cheap?

A: Yes. No. Maybe. Oh, I don't know![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So are you saying that you are changing your mind again?

A: Spock, Row Row Row Your Boat is a great song, so join in.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Captain, I do not understand your need to teach me these... 'nursery rhymes'. What is the cultural significance of such compositions?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] You do the hokey pokey and you give a little shout...[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How do you want me to call for Tom Paris to get him out of the holodeck?

A: Take this bag and call me in the morning[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Doctor! I'm puking my intestines out! What should I do?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] That exploding sound didn't sound good.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Ack! My ass just exploded! Am I ok?

A: If I had designed this ship, I would have put the mess hall next to the bridge and serve the bridge crew through my window.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's next on Starship Cannibal?

A: hot dawg![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] John, you have now the opportunity for galactic domination, immortality in name and the chance to gain millions of followers who will worship you at your feet. But first, you must answer a question. What do you want?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Awww, don't cry, it's not as bad as it seems![/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Waaggghhh! I'm dead! Can't I please come back to life?

A: trip, kersplaaaat![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So I was asking Archer if he wanted to go out with T'Pol while on vacation, and do you know what he said?



A: All play and no work make John a lazy boy.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Gee, I've kinda noticed that Captain Sheridan has put on fifty pounds in the past two months and now resembles a plodding ball of lard. Why, I wonder?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Bad human! No biscuit![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did the Vulcans really say when they first landed on Earth?

A: So you are saying that this probe travelled all this way and gave them the pie recipe, which then caused their planet to go backwards?[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I believe this planet is in a time flux, possibly caused by an experiment to massivily probe space with nuclear radiation. Do you understand?



A: There are 47 or 17 of these, and they all say pie.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What happens when you count these using New Math?

A: We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Before we go any farther, I have to know something: Did you really cross that bridge behind you?

A. Actually, Charles [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] a clock.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I should tell Charles that I saw a clock named after him.

A: We demand that we may or may not be Vroomfondel.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What are your demands so that you wont kill me off in some explosion, alien body takeover, or Chakotay shuttle chash?

A: So I go left, then right, then down, then I turn around and go to warp. Cant I just point the ship and go straight?[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So the aliens told you how to get back to Earth? Follow the instructions to the letter!

A: Get off the pink motorbike![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: There was this big concert, but all the information I could get was that it was Pink, and I was, duh, everything is pink, but what's the BAND name, so I got annoyed and stole this motorcycle.



A: Stop it or I'll be forced to use The Forbidden Words![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Abso-frelling-lutely, dammit![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0](Great minds think alike)

Q: Captain, Are we ok? Are we? What about now?

(Ill keep the question, lol)

A: Its on the other side of the planet with the rest of the moons[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, where did my dream-moon go to? It was just on the viewscreen a moment ago!




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I but, you but, he or she buts....


(But, come to think of it... the incessant strings of 'are we there yet' sort of fit my answer as well, except that a few well-placed "THWAP!"ing sounds are missing...)[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Ensign, why are you butting in line?

A: It just happens to be the worst present you can give an Ensign[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Wow, what's in that nasty-looking black box that's been covered in dangerously sharp black spikes?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Die, Seven, die![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: This clarinet practice is inefficient and hinders your abilities as a Borg Drone. Why dont you spend time with me instead?

A: Captain, I just saw a tomato pass up at warp 10[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Ensign, what evidence do you have to support your claim that everybody's coffee was spiked with hallucinogens this morning?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Die, John Sheridan! Die now![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Oh Taya, my wife is multiplying, so I got a divorce since I cant have multiple wives. Will you marry me?

A: All you need to do is pull this string to crank the warp core.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0](My wife is MULTIPLYING?! Oh I forget, she's a tribble now :D)


[b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So this is Starfleet's vaunted new, efficient and technologically superior warp engine. What's so great about it?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Die, Bush! Die a thousand times over![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I am going to free the people of Romulus by decaring war on the Romulans. I know they have weapons of mass destruction, and I am going to find them myself if I have to.

A: Hey, watch out for that planet![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Look, Captain! No hands! No hands! Wheee, isn't shuttle flying fun? What? Why are you screaming?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] KILL THEM ALL! NO MERCY! [b:post_uid0]NO MERCY![/b:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey captain, that planet just launched a pie at the ship. Should I fire back?

A: Look out the window and tell me if you see anything unusal[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Captain! CAPTAIN! AAAAAAAAHHHHH! We just picked up a dozen Borg vessels heading our way! What should we do? WHAT SHOULD WE DO? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I smell something funny. Are you about to let out a big one on us?

A: I wonder if the borg are immune to deadly farts[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Quick, say something childish.

A: What we demand is a total absence of solid facts.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Sa'ar, I still don't understand what your Party For The Adoption Of The Uncertainty Principle In All Areas Of Life is asking in return for the safe release of Kofi Annan and his pet tribble. What [i:post_uid0]are[/i:post_uid0] your demands?

A. Fine, you stay here and do that. I'm going to slip away quietly--I don't like that murderous gleam taya's had in her eye lately.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: And where do you think you are going? We got to finish this TPS report for the Captain.

A: How convenient, an M class planet for us to crash on[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: We're in trouble. Quick, activate the Astronomically Unlikely Coincidence The Writers Dreamed Up Generator.

A: The forest, she burns

(Sa'ar is a bit preoccupied with the forest fire ravaging the hills above his house in Kelowna)[/color:post_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. What is Sa'ar chasm preocupied with above his house in Kelowna.

A. I haven't posted in here in a while.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So have you been posting a lot?



A: Teeny weeny itsy bitsy hair-rug.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did William Shatner wear for the first time today?


A: Look, I can't help it if I'm just that good![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What? You got a perfect score on the SAT IIs? DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] You're all doomed! Doomed, you hear me? DOOMED![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Should I be scared if I hear Taya screaming DIE! DIE! DIE!?

A: Once upon a time in a galaxy far into the future...[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Q, why are you wearing a ewok costume?



A: This one time, at space camp, this dude did stuff.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the strangest thing that's ever happened to you?

A: Lions and tigers and... fluffy pink killer bunny slippers? What's [b:post_uid0]wrong[/b:post_uid0] with you?[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Here's my wishlist for Christmas. What do you think?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Kill the buggers! Kill the buggers now![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: These preschoolers just painted you a pretty picture! How do you want to thank them?


A: Hence forth, the person and the dog mystery talkers are forbidden from dancing with King Tut.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Kosh, for once can't you just say something which makes sense? Please?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Please rephrase, in English.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Computer..I..need...you...to...target....Khaaaaaaa annnnnn!

A: Computer: You are Captain Janeway. You are on the starship Voyager, not Enterprise. BTW, you are also lost somewhere in the Delta Quadrant.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Who am I? Where am I? What do I want? And why do strains of "Where My Heart Will Take Me" keep playing in my head?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I know. It doesn't make sense.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Have you heard about the dog that blew up the zoo by barking at a monkey?

A: John Sheridan to the rescue![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp arent around, and I need some pizza, pie and pudding. Who can help me?



A: I said," Can you pass the salt". Sheesh.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. WHAT AM I, YOUR PERSONAL SLAVE? I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU! YOU ARE SO INCOMPETENT, IT'S AMAZING YOU CAN BREATHE! Now what did you want, again?

A. Well duh![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Is the High Priest an Omian?

A: Dancing space potatoes? You bet.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Quick, I need some dancing space potatoes. Can you get me some?

A: Captain, I believe we found 3CPO and R2D2. Would you like me to get Engineering to activate them?[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What was the scrap metal we just beamed aboard?

A: To boldly fly where no fly has flown before.

Btw, what's 3CPO?[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What was the fly that just flew into John Sheridan's mouth trying to achieve, anyhow?!





[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Get. Out!



Elementary, my dear Cat. It's a typo error :D[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Want. To see my. Shatner. Impression?

A. You found [i:post_uid0]what[/i:post_uid0]? And you [i:post_uid0]brought it aboard?[/i:post_uid0] Captain to all hands: prepare to abandon ship![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Captain, I found a self-replicating copy of [i:post_uid0]My Heart Will Go On[/i:post_uid0] buried beneath the remains of this ancient civilization! Where do you want me to put it?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Tron![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did Sa'ar catch the last 15 minutes of the other night?

A: It was at the tip of my brain...[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, conehead! Where was that Borg implant that we put into you last?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Really, Sa'ar? How interesting![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: ...and she was my most distant cousin on my father's side. Now, on my mother's side...

A: Soon to be a major religion.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Sir, I've noticed that you've entered "Ivanova Worship" under "Religious Preference" in this form. What, exactly, is that?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] And away she goes![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain Janeway, there is some cof....



A: Finish your sentences or at least talk slower or something, otherwise I cant help you.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Heycanyouhelpmewith... no,Ineedinforma... whatsthatthingover... IthinkIshouldcutdownoncoffeedon't... heywhatsthat... don'tyouthink.

A: Underscore, wow, exclamation point[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: LOL...So like, c ya l8er 2nite btw rembr 2 bring yr sk8s 4 da rink, right?



A: I cant say I care. Really, I cant.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you care?

A: Hmm... a frog? of a fat, squashed lizard? I'm not sure.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Welcome to roadkill cafe. What would you like for dinner?



A: Perhaps the song would sound better if you could carry a tune.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why will nobody let me come on karaoke nights? I've been practicing this song for months now.

A: Me and some other guy.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So who is going on the away mission?

A: The Borg cant assimulate coneheads, it just wouldnt work out.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So why did John Sheridan come back after he was sent on an away mission to the borg cube?

A: Lizards. Lots and lots of lizards.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain, how do we kill this virus that is infecting the ship?

A: Good morning captain, you have 60 new messages with the same subject "Re: Your Details"[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I am so glad I don't get spam here.

A: But he is so ugly![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey look, the website has found the perfect match for you. What do you think of him?

A: No. No. No. Maybe. Yes. No. Yes. I dont think you want to know. Sorry. Get a life.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Like, can't that website find someone else for me like, someone a little less ugly?

A: That is [b:post_uid0]not[/b:post_uid0] what I meant![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. I don't know if the website can, but here's a picture of a really cute bunny I found!

A. Try rebooting Italy.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Euronet has some bugs, and I think Albania has a virus.

A: Give 'em the old razzle-dazzle[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I'm auditioning for a Christmas pantomime...what should I sing?



A: GAH! That sucks.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: There's a black hole in my pocket.

A: Why is it that when I think up an answer for this game, it won't stay in my brain for the 30 seconds it takes to hit Reply and type a question?[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Sa'ar, what proof do you have of your chronic short term memory loss?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Ooh a game! Pick me! Pick me![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I got this game where you have to imitate star trek characters. Want to play?

A: Remind me not to do that in the future[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Arrgh! The captain's just been ejected through the viewscreen! Did you just push this big red button which says "DO NOT PUSH"?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I'm hungry. Grr.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Did I just hear one of your stomachs growl, or did we run into another ship eating nebula?

A: Captain, you took my stapler, and now you moved my quarters next to Neelix.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Ensign, why are you pointing a charged phaser rifle at me?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Can you feel it? Love is here...[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Ensign, why are you pointing a loaded pink fluffy bow and chocolate arrow at me?



A: The 50's were a mistake, but it seems like they were doomed to last only 10 years![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I found this time travel thingy... Wanna come with me to the 50's?

A: Well, yeah, but the galaxy would explode in your face which would blind you for a couple of hours.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can we go to the Restrant at the End of the galaxy, Pleeeeeeeeease!


A:I tried that but it just exploded.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: You must go to Milliways and save that poor universe!

A: Do you have a better idea?[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you sure strapping the grenade to your forehead is the optimal course of action?

A: The movie being shot outside my window.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Where are there explosions coming from?

A: The movie sucked just like the black hole in the movie[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So how was the new John Travolta film?



A: An hour early and with a penny to spare! Wowzers![/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: so what did you think of the knew sciance fiction flick "return form the black hole"

A: Somehow i was hopeing for something with a little more ... whats the word im thinking of... oh yeah, tact[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] I don't get it. What's wrong with sending out rejection letters which run "YOU SUCK! You suck the singularities out of a black hole, so great is the magnitude of your suckage! Please go get a life and a sense of reality for god's sake!" all over them?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Erm.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the cgs unit for energy?

A: Actually, it wasn't a movie, it was a commercial for health insurance or band or something.

(Yes, Taya, I've left ICQ on at work again.)[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So, what did you think of the latest James Bond movie?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Oh great. Now I have TWO lunatics on my hands!




(It's 17! [b:post_uid0]17![/b:post_uid0] Why doesn't anyone get the fact that my name is 17?!)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: The nutcase in the padded room has divided asexually.

A: My Big Fat Grssk Wedding

(No, that isn't a typo)

[quote:post_uid0]It's 17! 17! Why doesn't anyone get the fact that my name is 17?[/quote:post_uid0]

Maybe because the 17 has "Taya" before it, and nobody pays attention to numbers at the end?[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's a totally original film about a Klingon woman who looks for a human husband, eh?



A: My Kyoto Prelude is a solar/water/wind/electic hybrid, so dont mock, you oxygen-hating loser![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Dude, what is up with that weird looking alien thingy that you have sitting on your roof?

A: You are making me angry. Now I am turning blue and getting smaller.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So, when you get angry, you turn into a lego block? Couldn't you find something more, I don't know, dangerous?

A: I know what you need. You need faith of the heart.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I think my faith keeps leaking out. You got any patches that would stop the leaking?

A: Windows XP3020[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What will the next version of windows be called, after the second dark ages which will completely shut down all computers for about a thousand years?

A: Only about everything I ever had.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: have you ever eaten anything that tasted like chicken?

A: Don't buy it! next year you'll just have to upgrade to windows XP3021[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hmmmm... the Great Machine needs a new operating system. Do you think we should get Windows XP3000 for Mr. Morden?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can I still vote which people are going to die?

A: I went there this morning, but they said I was too early, so I waited an hour before I tried again, and than they told me I was too late.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So, were you in time to see them stone Wesley Crusher to death?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] It's glucoNEOgenesis for a reason, dude![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So let me get this straight. You think you can destroy the matrix by making sugar?

A: You mean like the revolution of Andorra?[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do you mean, you've never heard of the Industrial Revolution? I mean, it was, like, this great big... big... REVOLUTION!


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I think I am about to kill someone. And that someone looks like you.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: You look awful today. Anyway, I have a new shirt. What do you think?

A: That's like, Italy and France trying to take over the world. After three days, Italy switches sides and a day later France is defeated.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hmm. I think I'm going to club together with this evil monkey to take over this forum. What do you think?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] But Italians do it better.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you want some French Fries?



A: Something or other, I guess, maybe. Yah know?[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How inarticulate can you be?

A: The reason you never hear about Italian war heroes is because there aren't any.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Quick! I need an insulting sterotype for my Tribute to Klinger on M*A*S*H*.



A: Marilyn Mason, we dont have any today.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, is this Clone-O-Matic? Yeah, I'm calling to order a boyfriend for my daughter? Yeah? Do you have Marilyn Manson in stock?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you think Saddam was lying when he said Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction?

A: There is nothing wrong with... Wait, that doesn't go there, it goes [i:post_uid0]there[/i:post_uid0]... As I was saying... Hey you! Yes, you. Bring that machine back here. I have to inspect it before you put it wherever you're going to leave it behind... What I'm trying to say is, I got everything under controll.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So, Mr. Tucker... I assume you've got everything in Engineering under control?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] There's not enough time![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: You seem to be in a hurry, commander. That is completely unnecessary. Could I have a word with you? I promise it will only take a minute.

A: There once was a princess who was killed by this dragon. That's all I know.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, Chakotay, I'm bored. Tell me a bedtime story.


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] There will be no white flag above my door![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Im going to rock your house so much with my shuttle, that you are going to surrender.

A: Tonight in the mess hall: Bingo Night, followed by Monopoly[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I heard Quark Snyder is planning our activities for the night...



A: And then OJake ate a can of Everyflavour Beans!

((dont you love it when threads collide? ))[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I heard there was a time when there was nothing wrong with the Group Adaptive Story.

A: Could you please put me down now?[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I understand Porthos has been stuck in boxes, used in innumerable chilli jokes, and even been used as a cheap peeing plot device. So Mayweather, what do you say about jokes aimed at you?



A: Chilli will not be tolerated until midnight, and then only in the moonlight.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What kind of measures are you planning to take against animal jokes?

A: But he is the only one on Enterprise who knows Morse. I'm telling you, we need him.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain, the Vulcans would only like to show Porthos the peaceful, higher existense all mammals, even Tucker, want!



A: The scapegoat is aways a redshirt, or that person you mentioned.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain, I have two messages. First, we brought this cave-man back home from our trip to the prehistory and second, we have some problems with the chairs in the mess hall. You see, they're all broken.

A: Have you ever heard of 'Warm Icecream in a Calculator'?[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Darn, I hate these song translations - OLP's "Clumsy" was turned into "The Person Without Much Ability to Walk Like an Egyptian"!



A: "And so, on that day, they set forth to see Lord of the Rings, Part 4: Fanfics on Film"[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Will you tell us our favorite story again, grandpa?

A: Is that plural of Portho?[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Would you like some porthouse steak?



A: Poor dog, people make him chilli, so he went to live with the ewok's.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What happened to the mutt? I wanted to execute a Porthoswhack to make Chiliwack.

A: Pardon me...do you have any Grey Council?[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I am running for governor of California. Ask me any questions that you would like.

A: Nope, we are over on our budget for this week. We shouldnt have used those electronic lizards last week.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What do you mean we can't get any lightning? What about a tiny cardboard spaceship hanging from a thread?

A: Hey stranger! Yeah you, would you come with me to that dark ally so I can kidna... I mean, show you a particularly beautiful star?[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How dumb do you think I am?

A: Don't answer that.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hoshi: Captain, there is a call from from T'Pol's lover. Should I answer it?

A: What is the big deal? It's only a little rabbit[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: That's no ordinary rabbit. That is the most cruel beast you've ever laid eyes on.

A: Look at the bones![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why is my tricorder picking up elevated calcium levels?

A: You don't have to put on the red light.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Red alert! All hens to battle stations!

A: Don't worry, we'll just kill Harry again or something.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: There's a spacial anomaly off the port bow, Chakotay's crashed the shuttle, Paris has run off on some headstrong mission, Holodoc's complaining, Seven's exploring her human side, Janeway's pulled a technobabble solution out of her ear, Torres is implementing it and Neelix is cooking. We're out of cliches. What do we do?

A: You can even marry Harry, but mess around with Ike.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I want to marry Harry Potter, but there is this certian Elf that's really cute...



A:MAD is for Mutual Agreement of Divorce.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I thought you said you got MAD with your ex yesterday. Why are you so happy today?

A: ...[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey everybody! John Sheridan and I have decided to get married! Isn't that fantastic?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] ... !? ...[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's Morse Code for SWhatthespluckS?

A: I wanna be a dentist.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] I have a question for you, Ambassador. What do you want?




[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Get out. Get OUT![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain, the computer said the Warp Core is about to breach. Is that bad? What should we do to fix it?

A: ...and then, the Turbo lift suddenly dropped. It did not stop at all. In fact, it went out of the bottom of the ship and kept on going. Then I woke up and was glad it was only a dream.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So Tucker, what's your exuse for running around shirtless THIS episiode?



A: A poodle came and said," So where's the beef!"[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Neelix, why are you here in Engineering looking for beef?

A: Im so glad this disaster didnt get an episode.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Well, we resurrected Harry again. By the way, that building Chakotay crashed into was quite important to the aliens, so it triggered a war on their planet. Wanna have dinner with me?

A: Do you mind? I'm trying to read this![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do you think of this? And what do you think of this? And what do you think of this? Don't you think the author is a little bit barmy?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I'm sorry, I think I broke my funny bone this morning.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What was that horrible cracking sound in the middle of Pardon My Zinger?

A: Whither the Dunedain, Elessar, Elessar?

Edit: I forgot the first h in 'whither' which changes the meaning slightly (and makes it more amusing). Go with it, if the mood strikes you.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Doctor, you've got to help me! I think I've gone barmy-- I keep imagining myself as Aragorn from LOTR!



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Mitochondria are EEEEVIL.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why did you quit your scientific experiment on John Sheridan?

A: Sometimes I wish spacecraft had license plates, because there are some wreckless drivers out there. Just now, I saw someone going at least Warp 6 in a Warp 2 zone.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Whoah! What happened to this shuttle? Why are you cursing and swearing?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Hey but at least he glows in the dark now![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: My weasel got stuck in the nuclear reactor.

A: Vherever dere is wodka. Nuclear Veasel vill be dere![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain, Chakotay crashed his shuttle into a toxic waste dump.

(Grrr. Im keeping the question. It still works, I think.)

A: The borg refused to assimulate Chakotay because they couldnt handle hearing him thinking like a tree.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Captain, I heard you ended up feeding Chakotay to the Pak'mara! What happened to giving him to the Borg?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I'm cold and scared. Hold me![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is something you will never hear Seven say?

A: It seems the Doctor has another malfunction. This time he is getting bigger.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Computer, why the heck is their a GIANT TOE protruding into my quarters?!



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] It's called a SWORD, silly![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Will Turner, is that a sharp pointy killing-thingy in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?


A: Who cares about Figwit or Hobbit #3, I want Frodo![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you want to go to the Convention of Background and Underused Characters? You might see Mayweather (Sorry for the steal, Zeke)

A: My god! It's full of stars![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Have you ever looked up into the sky at night?



A: No. Never. That's wrong. Icky. Gross. Let's see it again![/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q[/b:post_uid0]: What did most Americans say when asked what they thought of Fox's new show, [i:post_uid0]When Celebrity Corpses Attack[/i:post_uid0]?


[b:post_uid0]A[/b:post_uid0]: Slightly Less Purple, holding at nine and three-quarters.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How does the penguin smell this morning?

A: Ow! That hurts like green![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did you like the sound of the flowers this morning? Did they ever bite you? Like this? *BITE*

(A weird answer deserves a weird question.)

A: Ohh, stop that. I hate it when you talk in a language I don't understand.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Bah weep grah nah weep nini bong?

A: We are the Knights Who Until Recently Said Ni.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Oh Knights of Ni, we have found you a shrubbery. May we go now?

A: She came back. What can we do now?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why are you upset? I thought you killed off the Romulan Redshirt of Evilness already.

A: Unfortunately, yes.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you out of M&Ms?

A: Sure you can turn the robot on, but dont come to me when it kidnaps you and makes you build a "prototype"[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: *Sa'ar's first R-rated response deleted*
What does this button "Do not push under pain of kidnapping and other unpleasantness" do? Can I press it?

A: *THUMP!* Bugger![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0](Sa'ar... I get what you mean. TOO funnyyyy....)


[b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] And by the way, you DO realize the drink you've been consuming for the last few minutes is poisoned, don't you?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: (Stealing from Kira's TJI) Why does the script for Star Wars II suck like a black hole?

A: The goblins are fleeing, but the elves are charging.

[quote:post_uid0]Q: And by the way, you DO realize the drink you've been consuming for the last few minutes is poisoned, don't you?[/quote:post_uid0]

Actually, that was what it sounded like when I bashed my head on the ridiculously low doorframe. The top is level with my chin. Took me less than 24 hours after moving in to do it, too.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Owness, Sa'ar.


[b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do you mean, you can tell that it's close to the end of this Peter Jackson movie?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I don't think so, Sa'ar.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: *Sa'ar opens mouth*

A: Insert gratuitous forumgoer reference here.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey, did you hear that somebody wants to start up a political party based on [gratuitous references to running forum gags go here]?


A: Everything's fine. That's supposed to be the color it is.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Did you *see* that apple? It's turned all green. I mean like *YAK*!

A: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! chihuahua! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Gee I gotta be careful with the exclamation marks here)[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey look, Cat, I've just adopted the puppy from Legally Blonde 2. What do you think?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Is that a double exclaimation point I see?[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: AAAAHHHH! HELP ME! I'M ON FIRE!! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! HELP!

A: It's nice to know you care.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So Bob crashed his car into you and you broke your leg and your car is totalled and now you want insurance to pay? Hah, think again, LLLOOSSSSEERR



A: If you emote like Captain Kirk ever again I'll kick you out of class using the 3rd floor window![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: But...Mrs....JOHN! SON! How [i:post_uid0]could[/i:post_uid0] you...givemea [b:post_uid0]<span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'>D</span>[/b:post_uid0] on this...researchpaperforwhich I expended [i:post_uid0]so[/i:post_uid0] much, effort?

A: -[i:post_uid0]Yawn[/i:post_uid0]- Is this before or after he conquers the Earth and makes everyone wear little party hats all the time? :eyeroll:[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]<s>[b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Sir..... may I..... use........ the..... bath... room?
</s>


[b:post_uid0]GAAAH![/b:post_uid0]

[b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, you have [i:post_uid0]got[/i:post_uid0] to watch this episode of [i:post_uid0]Babylon Five[/i:post_uid0]! It's the one where Sheridan finally proposes to Delenn!



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Postmodern deconstructionist theory says that all logic and reason is bunkum. Does that answer your question?[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Tuvok, have you found the logic of why Suder started dancing in the mess hall?

A: So, you had no motive for tickling the Captain.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Like, see, man, I spilled my beer, and Picard is like the GREATEST and like it was WOAH man, and then I was like DUDE!



A: Dont be late. Dont be early. No talking. No walking. No running. So singing. No communication of any kind. No offensive clothes. No prissy clothes. And you must be drunk at all times.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So I joined your club. Now tell me, what are the rules?

A: Very well than, kill yourself if you're so desperate. But know this, the high buildings are thataway.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] You can reject me! I'll... I'll.... I'll jump off this building if you do! Do you hear me?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I'm delirious. Sue me![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Your personality is attacking me. What is wrong with you?

A: The answer to the question is the answer you will get when you repeat the question in a minute.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] ... Are we there yet?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, she's just this girl that I used to know....[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who is that person you just ran over?

A: She's in a flower arranging club.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Q, when you broke up with Janeway, why did you make all of Earth's flowers wither?



A: Perhaps the real answer will come out of the closet or office.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] I'm just wondering... Why does Johnny Depp act so gay in Pirates of the Caribbean?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Something tells me I don't want to know.[/color:post_uid0]

[Hejira]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Oh man, I love slash. Do you want to know what my two favourite slashings are?

A: It is decidedly so.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] I'm kinda wondering. The forum this weekend: is it dead, or is dead?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I was. I'm better now.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you sick of me talking about John Sheridan?

A: I went to the Cargo Bay looking for my tools, but I ended up having pie with Seven[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Tuvok, why are grinning so?



A: Johnny Depp in POTC as Jack Sparrow is bisexual, and likes strawberry body wash, or maybe just likes to act that way.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What was so scary about the Alternate Universe you went to last week?

A: That's it! I'm leaving you![/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: My friends say I'm clingy. I'm not clingy am i? where are you going? I'll come too! You're not leaving are you? are you? don't leave! pleeeeeeease don't leave!

A: I wanted an apple, but they only had rambutans and lychees, which I'm allergic to.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Captain Barbossa! You look really pissed off. Why?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0]EFAs are needed for maintaining function & integrity of membrane structures & for synthesis of prostaglandins. The characteristic symptom of EFA deficiency is a scaly dermatitis.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Quick! I need a simple thesis statement for my English class paper!


A: If you fly into the wings, just hop a train to get to the traveller and you'll be on deck, or strut to the catwalk!


((ah, theatre jargon!))[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Jump. Jump now![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the only thing Kosh ever said that made any sense? (Steal from Nan's fiver)

A: Still stands the house.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Mr Mojo, Voyager is trying to destroy the house by landing on it. What should we do?

A: Tom, land this ship on the house and all drinks will be on the house.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] And what would be the Inane Order of the day be?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you sure you want another drink? How much did you have already?

A: The trees are shining while the sun builds a nest... Wait, that's not quite right.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I think Pres. Bush isnt the sharpest light in the deck. What do you think?


A: Gah! Um, sure, if that's what you think...[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey guys! I think this nude sculpture of John Sheridan would make a very good centerpiece for our forum! What do you say, Opium?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Somehow, that was a mental image I did NOT need.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: That sculpture you were talking about... Why don't we put Quark beside it?

A: Run for your life, redshirt. RUN![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, when it comes to it, I think that the two statues deserve a little accompaniment! Something morbid, perchance? Uh-oh, why are you looking at me like that?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Initiating the "Getting the Hell Out of Here" maneuver, now![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain, 20 borg cubes are heading our way!

A: Is it too much to ask for? All I wanted was a hug.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Oh no. No way. It starts here and who knows where it ends? I will not do anything that might trigger unwanted events.

A: Just take a hammer and smash the darn thing already![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I've lost all feeling in my thumb.

A: Away, away with rum, by gum.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] You're sitting here, drunk, and making up nonsensical rhymes. Why, may I ask?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] You can KEEP them![/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why do you prefer dogs as pets over Tarkalean Vaniishing Pigs?

A: I need to carry a notebook around to write down answers for this silly game.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Sa'ar, what's the huge book? It looks like it weighs a ton-and you always bring it to the computer!



A: You are LATE! LATE I tell you. Do you realize you are late? You've lost 5%. You'll have to make that up. Do you realize how rude that is to the class? Do you? DO YOU?

(wow, it didnt sound so bad when the proffesor said it...but it looks really bad now!)[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I'm looking for an argument. Is this the right room?

A: Oh, sorry, this is Abuse.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey! I asked for Gratuitous JOHN Abuse! Why the heck are you beating ME up?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Ewp.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the Ewok word that means "The smear left behind when one of those giant orange things from the cartoon steps on an Ewok"?

A: Up on the roof.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So, where did that toy go that was lying around all day and driving you nuts?

A: Stay out of the west wing.[/color:post_uid0]