Top Ten List of... - Step 1:See Topic. Step 2:create list [Archive] - Page 2

PointyHairedJedi

02-24-2004, 11:49 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Suspicious? I thought so at the time (and certainly said so too). Ah well. Topic Title. That certainly brings back...memories.

Who was it that started it? It was either SimonBob or MPQ, I remember that much - whatever happened to them, anyway?

Top Ten Programs the EMH should add to his Program

10. Microsoft Excel, just in case an accounting emergency arises.
9. Microsoft Encarta 2273, so that he can sprout even more useless facts than Data.
8. Translation software, so that the rest of the crew will actually understand him when he breaks out the medical jargon.
7. Linux, so that he actually alter his own program without causing a major disaster.
6. An "I gave a crap" emulator.
5. Norton Anti-virus, because frankly it can't be worse than what Voyager's already got.
4. The Master Control Program, so he can finally take over Voyager's computer and become captain like he's always dreamed of.
3. Backup software, so that there is more than one freakin' copy aboard in case something goes wrong.
2. Scandisk, so that he can catch any problems with his routines before he goes crazy/decompiles/hallucinates.

And, the number one program that the EMH should have loaded into his routines:
1. Solitaire, so that if he was left on he'd never be bored again.

Top Ten Reasons why Janeway actually prefers the Delta Quadrant to the Alpha[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke

02-25-2004, 12:08 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]SimonBob was the one who started Topic Title, and I know he's still out there, just out of touch lately. Not sure about MPQ.

Btw, the reason PHJ's post above says it's edited by me is that he double-posted; he emptied one of them and I deleted the other, simultaneously, so I put back the text in case he didn't have it.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

02-25-2004, 03:38 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Reasons why Janeway actually prefers the Delta Quadrant to the Alpha

10. No more Tribbles!
9. She can ignore all those "Coffee Causes Craziness" campaignes.
8. She thinks Borg outfits are cool
7. She's the highest ranking officer. WOO-HOO!
6. It's the only way she gets to be near Chakotay.
5. Longer time in Delta= Higher ranking in Alpha (beat that, Picard)
4. Who else has a malebot, erm, EMH handy at all hours without arousing suspicion?
3. The Coffee Nebula.
2. No Chilli jokes.
1. Due to a rare tasts-bud disorder, she actually LIKES Neelix's food

Top Ten Hottest Trends on DS9

(PS, why am I not registering on the current users list?)[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

02-25-2004, 05:30 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Opium, are you using MSN browser? I am and I am not on the list either unless I use Internet Explorer[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

02-25-2004, 05:37 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I'm using Microsoft Internet Explorer. But I am logged into msn right now. Maybe you're onto something :think:[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

02-25-2004, 11:43 PM

[quote:post_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000:post_uid0]4. The Master Control Program, so he can finally take over Voyager's computer and become captain like he's always dreamed of.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Bwaahahahah :D[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

02-26-2004, 12:17 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Top Ten Hottest Trends on DS9[/quote:post_uid0]

10: Touchy-feelyism. Everyone talks about their feelings. Even Worf.
9: The size of special effects budget. Bigger battles, more ships, flashier explosions.
8: The downward motion of hair.
7: Noted increase in Americentricity: baseball, Vegas and the Alamo achieve saturation point in Seventh Season.

Bah. Someone else can finish it.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

02-26-2004, 03:36 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. Laziness :p

5. The power levels in the core. Hey, even simple fusion's plenty hot enough for anyone

4. Naming pets after famous literary swordsmen

3. '60's-style clothing. Kira discovers the pleasures of tie-dye T-shirts, while O'Brien prefers Flower Power attire. Worf loses a bet and has to walk around sporting a big "Peace" sign.

2. Lewis Carroll. Oh, wait a moment...

1. Mood rings. They're banned quicker than tribbles however, after a tense stand-off where Dukat can tell whether Sisko is lying just by watching his hands. Then Kira tries to fill in while Sisko gets rid of the ring, but at the sight of Dukat her ring, which has been glowing a much brighter crimson red than any ring has any right to glow ever since she put it on, collapses under the strain in a dazzling explosion that takes out two consoles and a handy redshirt

Next:
Top Ten Little-Known Fashion Blunders Made By Star Trek Characters[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

02-26-2004, 04:42 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Little-Known Fashion Blunders Made By Star Trek Characters

10. Wearing pocket-less uniforms
9. Basing the colour on rank, not hair or skin tone
8. Too few accesories!
7. The bald look(soooo Original Star Trek movies)
6. What's with the mini-dresses? Bleh!
5. Blue lycra dresses!
4 Full briefs under cat-suits (bad pantylines! Bad!)
3. Data's crossdressing
2. Worf 's secret love of pink fluffy bunny shoes
1. Tribble Wigs!

Top Ten Next Gen Characters that didnt make the cut[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi

02-26-2004, 06:08 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten [i:post_uid0]Star Trek: The Next Generation[/i:post_uid0] Characters that didn't make the Cut

Doctor Larry Schnieder, CMO, a sarcastic New Yorker. Dropped when it was realised that no-one would actually understand what he was saying.

Robert Crusher, a smart, sciency type kid, planned as being quite witty but also quite sensitive. Dropped in favour of Wesley Crusher.

Lieutenant Zeke, a engineer from Canada, who would be chronically late for everything and have an obsession with an old 20th cnetury SF TV show. Dropped as he was considered too unrealistic. (:D)

Science officer T'Booty, an incredibly attractive catsuit wearing Vulcan woman. Dropped as it was felt she would just generally lower the whole tone of the show.

I can't think of ten, so feel free to include 'em in your own lists.[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

02-27-2004, 02:18 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. Lt. Commander Brunhilde Pffluffenstein, who joined Starfleet to find space vampires. Warned that Kirk`s Enterprise had found a blood-sucking cloud years ago, nevertheless she desires to find blonde British vampires.

5. Ensign Travis Juneweather, a young black pilot who does and says nothing. Gene Roddenberry: "Not in this millenium." The person who suggested the character: "I`ll wait."

4. Science Officer Dukat, a Cardassian. The original idea intended for Cardassians to be sweet, warm, fuzzy and witty little orange aliens. Dropped when papers concerning the character were presumably lost, but actually stolen by a writer very cruel in nature, who had some other ideas, and who, years later, proceeded to write "Duet" and "The Tribunal".

3. Smeaggy Gollmford, a schizophrenic male nurse. We follow his struggle with his multiple personalities and his obsession with shiny things.

2. Yenrab Jr., a Gorn transporter chief, improved and enhanced by new prosthetic makeup capabilities, to make him more realistic and scarier. Some concerns were raised that he will be too scary, and would scare small children. Dropped when other castmembers fled shrieking in horror when they saw him.

1. Jar Jar Binks. Gene Roddenberry: "No friggin` way in hell. Dump him on someone stupid enough to put him in his movie or show." -Other producer: "But no one could possibly be that dumb!" Gene: "You`d be surprised..."

NEXT: Top 10 Klingon Sitcoms[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

02-27-2004, 02:21 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"]1. Jar Jar Binks. Gene Roddenberry: "No friggin` way in hell. Dump him on someone stupid enough to put him in his movie or show." -Other producer: "But no one could possibly be that dumb!" Gene: "You`d be surprised..."[/quote:post_uid0]

GAHAHAHAHA!! ::dies::

Nic is online! A miracle!
Or... could it be...

[b:post_uid0]THE KITTEN?[/b:post_uid0]

[/ominous mode][/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

02-27-2004, 02:27 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The kitten is actually a wild beast, that is able to crash chairs and lose four ping pong balls. And to urinate all over my Roman history papers (quite an amusing surprise last night...)[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

02-27-2004, 02:30 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]See? See? It's already started on its agenda of chaos and mass destruction!

You'd better run while you can, Nic. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

02-27-2004, 02:37 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Too late. The whole apartment stinks. And I was told the cat was house trained. Apparently I got her from a disguised Ferengi.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

02-27-2004, 02:42 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hot dang.
Moral of the story: before one buys a cat, one should tug hard on cat-seller's ears to make sure cat-seller is not in fact Ferengi in disguise.

Or maybe he meant "trained to wreck a house" when he said house-trained.

Btw, I'm nearly done with your letter of DOOM!; it should be sent off this weekend. As I said, run while you still can. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

02-27-2004, 03:04 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Nic, don't you realize this kitten of yours is a hyperintelligent alien, working with Bush to...

*Gets blank stares*

What?[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

02-27-2004, 03:47 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]::snicker::

ICQ conversations are scary things, folks.[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

02-27-2004, 11:32 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Klingon Sitcoms:

10) Foes - Following the romantic misadventures of six young Klingon warriors and their search for the one relationship amongst each other they haven't tried out yet.
9) Ship Improvement - K'Tom fiddles with the main reactor controls, gleefully answering his Captain's request for "more power".
8) Married, with Targ - T'Al tries to escape his honorless profession of selling tribbles. The Targ dies in the middle fo the series and has to be reincarnated.
7) Scrubbers - Four young Klingon warriors on their first day on a warship.
6) Emperor of Queens - the bloodiest "delivery boy" serial *ever*.
5) Sex and the Colony - Four female warriors seek to conquer the Klingon Empire by sleeping with every last male warrior in it.
4) The House of Worf - Watch as the once-dignified old warrior Worf and his family navigate the perils of being famous. And rich. And retarded.
3) Warrior Girl - It's always a tough day on the bridge of a warship in the Klingon Navy - but somebody *has* to keep it all together.
2) Screamfeld - Three warriors. One woman. Less blood then you'd expect.

And the Number 1 Klingon Sitcom is:

1) Martok in the Middle - Follow the young years of General Martok as he tries to outwit his honorless and neurotic family.

Next: Top Ten Klingon Pop Songs!

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

02-27-2004, 01:30 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Gatac! ::dies:: Pure genius, I say. "Martok in the Middle"... ::comes back to life so she can die again::[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

02-27-2004, 04:26 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Thank you, I accept Cheques and MasterCard :)

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

02-27-2004, 07:08 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Gatac"]10) Foes - Following the romantic misadventures of six young Klingon warriors and their search for the one relationship amongst each other they haven't tried out yet.

8) Married, with Targ - T'Al tries to escape his honorless profession of selling tribbles. The Targ dies in the middle fo the series and has to be reincarnated.

7) Scrubbers - Four young Klingon warriors on their first day on a warship.

5) Sex and the Colony - Four female warriors seek to conquer the Klingon Empire by sleeping with every last male warrior in it.[/quote:post_uid0]
Brilliant, Gatac... hysterical, :D

Now let`s see... Top 10 Klingon Pop Songs:

10. "If you lose your honour, I will violently kill those who stole it... [i:post_uid0]time after time...[/i:post_uid0]"

9. [i:post_uid0]It Must Have Been Par`Mach[/i:post_uid0]...but it`s over now... It must have been good, but I lost it somehow...

8. [i:post_uid0]Don`t Cry For Me, Qo`Nos[/i:post_uid0]... The truth is, I never left you... [i:post_uid0]by Worf[/i:post_uid0]

7. [i:post_uid0]We All Live in a Yellow K`Tinga-class Battlecruiser[/i:post_uid0], A Yellow K`Tinga-class Battlecruiser, A Yellow K`Tinga-class Battlecruiser...

6. [i:post_uid0]We Don`t Need No Alliance With The Federation![/i:post_uid0] by Red Blood Floyd

5. [i:post_uid0]Cry Me A River of Blood and Romulan Corpses[/i:post_uid0], remake by K`Justin T`Mberlake

4. [i:post_uid0]Last Day of Honour[/i:post_uid0]...I gave you my heart of glory, but the very next day, you gave it away...

3. [i:post_uid0]We Will, We Will, Beat You Up!"[/i:post_uid0] - a song by Klingon group Empress dedicated to Jonathan Archer

2. [i:post_uid0]Ode To My Dysfunctional Family[/i:post_uid0], B`Elanna`s Ripoff of Cranberries

And the number 1 song momentarily on the Klingon Imperial Music Chart

1. [i:post_uid0]Space May Be The Final Frontier But It`s Made in a Hollywood Basement[/i:post_uid0] - by Red Hot Chilli Warriors, banned in Federation

EDIT - Next - Top 10 Cardassian SciFi/Fantasy/Historical Blockbusters[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

02-28-2004, 12:09 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Brilliant! Two very brilliant lists!
(mwhahahaha! My plan to monopolize forumgoers time with fun, silly games like "one-by-one" and "Top Ten" is nearly complete... darn, why'd I write that? Why dont I edit it out?)[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

02-28-2004, 03:31 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top 10 Cardassian SciFi/Fantasy/Historical Blockbusters

10. [i:post_uid0]Pitch Black[/i:post_uid0] -- Thriller set deep inside the Obsidian Order (Note: film has been edited to remove both picture and sound, and now consists of 87 minutes of black film leader)
9. [i:post_uid0]The Cardassian Matrix[/i:post_uid0] -- Hero discovers his world is a sham and in reality he's lived his whole life trapped in a Federation holodeck
8. [i:post_uid0]Lord of the Wormhole[/i:post_uid0] -- The adventures of spunky little Gul Dukat and his hopeless efforts to defeat the flaming evil Eye of Sisko
7. [i:post_uid0]My Big, Fat Bajoran Wedding[/i:post_uid0] -- Wacky Cardassian woman gets engaged to a handsome Bajoran man; hilarity and bloodshed ensue
6. [i:post_uid0]The Gul Father[/i:post_uid0] -- A "family" of Cardassian Guls deals with newcomers who want to ally with strangers from the Gamma Quadrant rather than trusting the old ways of killing, maining, and torturing
5. [i:post_uid0]Slaying Private Ryan[/i:post_uid0] -- Cardassians commit genocide but discover they missed one and have to go back
4. [i:post_uid0]Frankenstein[/i:post_uid0] -- Mad scientist creates monster in this version of the popular Cardassian origin myth
3. [i:post_uid0]Love Story[/i:post_uid0] -- What can you say about a 25-year-old girl who died and became a remorseless, bloodthirty killing machine obsessed with destroying the Federation?
2. [i:post_uid0]Windtalkers[/i:post_uid0] -- The true story of the Native American settlers who, assimilated into the Cardassian Empire, had their vocal chords ripped out, so that they could only speak by breaking wind

and the Number One Cardassian SciFi/Fantasy/Historical Blockbuster

1. [i:post_uid0]Armageddon[/i:post_uid0] -- A giant meteor threatens to destroy Earth, and does

Next:

Top Ten Vulcan SciFi/Fantasy/Historical Blockbusters[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

02-28-2004, 04:13 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Vulcan SciFi/Fantasy/Historical Blockbusters
10. [i:post_uid0]P'Rates of the Caribbean:[/i:post_uid0] A tale of the horrors of the primative, emotional Vulcans and their quest for shiny stuff.
9.[i:post_uid0] Star Trek: First Contact[/i:post_uid0]: The true tale of a valiant, tolerant ship crew that had to endure the loud, obnoxious humans.
8.[i:post_uid0]Contact[/i:post_uid0]: The story of a Vulcan woman struggling to convince the Vulcan Science Directive of time travel; woman ends up on Human ship.
7. [i:post_uid0] Lord of the Shiny Things[/i:post_uid0]: A fable warning Vulcans that shiny things are bad, emotions are bad, and slash can come out of the most inocent things.
6. [i:post_uid0] Buffy the Vulcan Slayer[/i:post_uid0] A horror movie about an emotional Human who slays logical, hot Vulcans.
5. [i:post_uid0] Psycho[/i:post_uid0]: A film about humans.
4. [i:post_uid0]Apocolypse Then[/i:post_uid0]: A story about how, if all humans were Vulcans, Kurtz's clan would have worn catsuits.
3. [i:post_uid0] Indiana T'Jonok[/i:post_uid0]: A responisble, careful acheologist searches the Vulcan homeoworld for rare antiqueties, spending much time slowly scaping and digging.
2. [i:post_uid0]Catch Me If You Can[/i:post_uid0]: A film about Kirk.
1. [i:post_uid0]Back to the Future[/i:post_uid0] A film documenting how only illogical humanoids think timetravel is possible.

Top Ten Bajorans SciFi/Fantasy/Historical/Musical Blockbusters[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

02-28-2004, 04:53 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Opium"]3. [i:post_uid0] Indiana T'Jonok[/i:post_uid0]: A responsible, careful archeologist searches the Vulcan homeworld for rare antiqueties, spending much time slowly scraping and digging.[/quote:post_uid0]
:D[/color:post_uid0]

Derek

02-28-2004, 01:11 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000:post_uid0]6. [i:post_uid0] Buffy the Vulcan Slayer[/i:post_uid0] A horror movie about an emotional Human who slays logical, hot Vulcans.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Shouldn't that be [i:post_uid0]Faith the Vulcan Slayer[/i:post_uid0]?[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

02-28-2004, 07:05 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Scooter"]8. [i:post_uid0]Lord of the Wormhole[/i:post_uid0] -- The adventures of spunky little Gul Dukat and his hopeless efforts to defeat the flaming evil Eye of Sisko
7. [i:post_uid0]My Big, Fat Bajoran Wedding[/i:post_uid0] -- Wacky Cardassian woman gets engaged to a handsome Bajoran man; hilarity and bloodshed ensue
1. [i:post_uid0]Armageddon[/i:post_uid0] -- A giant meteor threatens to destroy Earth, and does[/quote:post_uid0]
ROTFLMAO! :D :D :D :D[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-02-2004, 02:13 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wow, no takers on the Bajorans. Go figure. Let's see... (frantically searches brain for Bajoran tidbits)...

Top Ten Bajoran SciFi/Fantasy/Historical/Musical Blockbusters

10. [i:post_uid0]Emissary![/i:post_uid0] - Musical bonanza celebrating the painfully slow process by which the Bajoran messiah, through many trials and adversities, came to tolerate his holy calling
9. [i:post_uid0]Major Kira and the Vicious Circle[/i:post_uid0] - Black comedy in which the former freedom fighter faces a clandestine rebellion while trading acid quips with a circle of bon-vivant hangers-on
8. [i:post_uid0]Faith of the Heart[/i:post_uid0] - The inspiring tale of the first enterprising Bajoran astronauts, told entirely through turgidly melodramatic Diane Warren songs
7. [i:post_uid0]Them's The Breaks[/i:post_uid0] - Hilarious comdy in which Bajoran leaders fight a titanic and bloody struggle to eject the domineering Cardassians only to have the Federation barge in, install a religious overlord, and take over their space station and wormhole! Delicious irony served hot and spicy, Bajoran style!
6. [i:post_uid0]Breakfast at Bajor's[/i:post_uid0] - A resistance team gets lost in the pathless wilds of the Mountains of Kenebo and in order to survive is forced to eat all their jangly ear-jewelry
5. [i:post_uid0]Bridge Over The River Kai[/i:post_uid0] - A powerful and deadly task force of Bajoran religious leaders assemble to perform a daring deed: to rid Bajor of its annoying and backstabbing religious leaders
4. [i:post_uid0]The Fifth Orb[/i:post_uid0] - An alien arrives on Bajor to help fight off an iminent Cardassian invasion by assembling all the orbs of the prophets, only to discover she is herself the Fifth Orb--The Orb of Unbelievable Plot Contrivances
3. [i:post_uid0]Pagh Knows Best[/i:post_uid0] - Someone has to tell the Emissary that whenever his consciousness travels back to be a pulp fiction writer in 1950s America, he drags the rest of the friggin' planet with him
2. [i:post_uid0]Caste-away[/i:post_uid0] - Freethinking Bajoran college dude is marooned on an island populated entirely by the strict D'jarra Caste. If he doesn't have them keg-partying by Friday, he'll have to live the rest of his life as a gas station attendant, as his fathers did before him

And the Number One Bajoran SciFi/Fantasy/Historical/Musical Blockbusters

1. [i:post_uid0]The Passion of the Prophets[/i:post_uid0] - Two hours of brutal violence surrounding the Prophets' gory metaphorical reenactment of to 2015 World Series (as told in the long-dead language of Sportsjournalism, with Bajoran subtitles)

Next: Top Ten Rejected Outfits for T'Pol Before the Cat Suit[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-02-2004, 04:25 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Rejected Outfits for T'Pol Before the Cat Suit

10. A polka dotted Dress
9. A toga
8. A blue dress with a stain on it
7. A borg suit
6. Camoflauge
5. Swat team armor
4. Archer's uniform
3. Nothing
2. some flashy suit with christmas lights on it

And the number one rejected outfit for T'Pol is...
1. A Starfleet Uniform

Next: Top 10 Rejected Ideas the writers had for the Borg[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-02-2004, 04:32 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Scooter"]4. [i:post_uid0]The Fifth Orb[/i:post_uid0] - An alien arrives on Bajor to help fight off an iminent Cardassian invasion by assembling all the orbs of the prophets, only to discover she is herself the Fifth Orb--The Orb of Unbelievable Plot Contrivances[/quote:post_uid0]
Hee hee, :D

It`s good someone finally made an effort to write the Bajoran list... it WAS extremely challenging... Scooter, you deserve a cookie!

About T`Pol`s rejected outfits:

10. A regular Starfleet uniform - first suggestion, rejected in a matter of seconds

9. Bunny suit, Troi-style

8. A black evening dress. Blalock rejected it because they refused to give her a tiara and six necklaces too.

7. A bathing suit. Kept as a backup plan to boost the ratings if they are too low in season 4

6. No outfit. Kept as a backup for season 6

5. A red miniskirt. Rejected, as Starfleet officers wouldn`t be caught dead wearing something so ridiculous.

4. Serena Williams-style tennis outfit. Dropped, since it is a ratings-boosting backup plan for Trip.

3. Black suit and black sunglasses, as she was originally intended to be an agent of the Vulcan Secret Service. "The name is Pol. T`Pol."

2. Mink fur coat. Dropped because Vulcans are a gentle and enlightened race, they don`t kill poor minks for clothing. Minks are too delicious to be made into coats.

....
....
....

1. In the Mirror Universe, T`Pol has a leather dominatrix outfit and the show is #1 in the Nielsen Ratings.

Next - Top 10 Things That Would Have Happened During the Show if Janeway Was Captain of Deep Space 9

EDIT - [b:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]Oh Wonderful![/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0] First no one writes anything for 5 days, and now two lists at the same time... GRRRAAARGH![/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-02-2004, 06:54 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"]GRRRAAARGH![/quote:post_uid0]
Zombie! [i:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]RUN![/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-02-2004, 10:11 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top 10 Rejected Ideas the writers had for the Borg

10. They were originally called, "CEO's of the Ununited Planets" but rejected on the fact that some might think it a political message to the government.
9. They were going to be a creation of Dr. Soong, and all wanted Data to be king.
8. Their ships were going to be shaped like rubber duckies.
7. Were going to be telemarkerters, but that was considered too much evil for a Star Trek show.
6. Instead of wanting to turn everyone into bio-robots, they wanted to turn everyone into Hippies.
5. Orignally wore catsuits; considered too tacky.
4. Borg hive? Borg Queen? Nope. Borg commune, Borg The Leader.
3. "The Leader is Good, The Leader is great, you surrender you will, as of this date"
2. Wesley Crusher was supposed to be the Borg King.
1. They were going to wear Clown, Bunnyrabbit, and Shiner outfits; rejected because it was too scary for all involved.

(Nic Corelli's list)Top 10 Things That Would Have Happened During the Show if Janeway Was Captain of Deep Space 9[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-02-2004, 03:44 PM

[quote:post_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"]GRRRAAARGH![/quote:post_uid0]
Zombie! [i:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]RUN![/b:post_uid0][/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]hee hee

Torg: Riff, have you met my new friend Nic Corelli?
Riff: Hey.
Nic: BRAAAAIINNNS
Torg: He's a zombie.
Kiki: Oooo! Zombie!
Torg: Wait--zombie! Ruuunnn!
Nic: BRAAAAIINNNS
Bun-Bun: Back off or I'll dice your pancreas.
Nic: Erp. NIIICCEE BBUUUNNNYYY.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-02-2004, 04:01 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top 10 Things That Would Have Happened During the Show if Janeway Was Captain of Deep Space 9

10. She would make DS9 move somehow
9. To wake everyone up during an emergency, she would spin the station
8. She would try to turn the doctor off only to realize that he is a real person
7. She would fall in love with Odo
6. She would get bored being captain of a space station
5. Lets just say the Ferengi wouldnt want to stay around for long
4. DS9 would be turned into a time machine
3. Instead of waiting for the shipment of coffee, she would steal a ship and go out and get it herself
2. She would find a way to get rid of the wormhole
1. DS9 would be lost in the Gamma Quadrant

Next: Top 10 notable captain logs[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-02-2004, 05:20 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Top 10 notable captain logs[/quote:post_uid0]

10: Captain's Log, Stardate...9572...The ship is...coldanddrafty. I complain...but...nobodylistens. (Star Trek XI: So Very Tired)
9: Station Log, Stardate 46123. Veni, Vidi, Velcro*. (Emissary)

* - I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Bugger. I've had absolutely no inspiration lately. Running out of steam after two entries is a new low.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-02-2004, 06:42 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, this is still good enough to be fodder for several lists :D

8. Starlog: This is ridiculous. I'm making this entry, me! The captain! And yet some "Star" is getting credited with it. From now on, this is the CAPTAIN'S Log, you hear me? MY log, MY command, MY ship--oh, uh, hello, my first officer. You've got a funny look on your face, T'Pol, did your plomeek soup disagree with you?

7. Captain's Log: The situation grows grimmer. Not only are we cut off from escape by fifty humongous Xindi warships competently searching the sector for us, but even worse, Hoshi just ate the last of the cheese set aside for Porthos. I shudder to think what that dog will do cheeseless. He always gets really grumpy when he has to go without cheese...[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-03-2004, 09:17 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]10: Captain's Log, Stardate...9572...The ship is...coldanddrafty. Â I complain...but...nobodylistens. (Star Trek XI: So Very Tired)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]love it![/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-03-2004, 09:21 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. Captain's Log. Stardate with an Orion slave woman. Will go where no man has gone before.

5. Captain's Log has been shipped off. First officer not done yet with chopping his own tree.

4. Captain's Lock. My hair has been falling out. Admiral Forrest has congratulated me on my new career options as first bald Captain in Starfleet.

And that's my selection of awful puns for now. :)

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-03-2004, 10:16 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]3. Captain's Log: Made several thousand new friends today, all wearing black, and a bit pale in the face. Big on assimilation, nanotechnology, and so on - yawwnnn... They just drone on, and on, and on...

2. Archer's Log, stardate 42.9103.21: Starfleet command has informed me that we've done the quaint "using real dates" business long enough, and we can switch over to stardates now. Must remember to ask Hoshi how the damn things work.

1. Captain's log, Day 392. Borg killed: 3,627. V. Good. Still not Admiral. Beginning to notice strange attraction to Neelix.

Next up:
Top Ten Reasons to Hand the Federation Flagship Over to Jar-Jar Binks.[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-03-2004, 10:33 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]10: Captain's Log, Stardate...9572...The ship is...coldanddrafty. I complain...but...nobodylistens. (Star Trek XI: So Very Tired)

love it! [/quote:post_uid0]

Thanks. I know a good joke when I steal it.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-04-2004, 02:55 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]1. Captain's log, Day 392. Borg killed: 3,627. V. Good. Still not Admiral. Beginning to notice strange attraction to Neelix.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]::dies:: Pervy. Talaxian. FANCIER![/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-05-2004, 12:43 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]In an honourable tradition of writing two or three entries for Top 10 lists... (I`m quite tired...)

Top 10-8 Reasons to Hand the Federation Flagship Over to Jar Jar Binks

10. If Wesley piloted the flagship, Binks can very well be the Captain

9. There would be no more annoying Vulcan complaining. After meeting Binks, they would all flee the galaxy howling in horror.

8. He was very effective when used as a secret Bajoran weapon - the [i:post_uid0]real[/i:post_uid0] reason why Cardassians withdrew (escaped screaming) from the planet.[/color:post_uid0]

mudshark

03-06-2004, 12:05 AM

[quote:post_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Standback"]1. Captain's log, Day 392. Borg killed: 3,627. V. Good. Still not Admiral. Beginning to notice strange attraction to Neelix.[/quote:post_uid0]
::dies:: Pervy. Talaxian. FANCIER![/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, that's one thing, but what does the Horn of Gondor become in the Star Trek universe? :p :D[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-06-2004, 12:15 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]OH NO, not "Horn of Gondor" jokes. Although if yah like 'em...go here !

http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=543765[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-06-2004, 12:30 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]7. Serves as a reminder for Picard that Q really isn't all [i:post_uid0]that[/i:post_uid0] annoying.

6. The flagship can then be sent on a mission to "wipe out the Borg", the idea being that the Borg will be well on their way to permanent irrelevance within thirty minutes of assimilating the hapless Binks.

5. Allows for the creation of numerous limericks that begin with "There once was a captain named Binks..."

4. In an emergency, his ears can [i:post_uid0]be[/i:post_uid0] the flag.

3. He's got a buddy who's fluent in over 6 million forms of communication.

2. It keeps him busy out of the way of the Empire's cloners.

1. There are only so many other redshirts in the galaxy, you know...

Next up, at last, we have...

The Top 10 Little-Known Country-Genre Klingon Songs[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-06-2004, 07:53 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"]Scooter, you deserve a cookie![/quote:post_uid0]
Still waiting. Mail cookie now.

Am holding cat hostage. Will dunk in cold water if you do not comply.

:)[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-06-2004, 10:02 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Scooter, you [i:post_uid0]know[/i:post_uid0] it takes about a week for intercontinential mail to arrive, right? :D[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-06-2004, 04:14 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Not if you email it, lol
Or how about ordering a cookie online to be sent to him from his town[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-07-2004, 04:19 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The Top 10 Little-Known Country-Genre Klingon Songs

10. Bubba Shot My Honor
9. Don't Believe My Honor Can Stand Another You
8.You can Lock Me Up in Jail & Throw Away the Key, But You Can't Keep My Honor from Breaking Out
7.You Ain't Honorable Enough To Take My Man
6. You Ain't Much Fun Since I Killed You
5. I Lost My Honor To A Sexy Girl
4. The Empire Is Not Big Enough To Hold My Love For You
3. She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw
2. Red Neck Klingons
1. She Bit Me, And I Bit Back And Made Love All Night Long

Next: The Top 10 Little-Known Country-Genre Vulcan Songs[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-08-2004, 12:05 AM

[quote:post_uid0="catalina_marina"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Scooter, you [i:post_uid0]know[/i:post_uid0] it takes about a week for intercontinential mail to arrive, right? :D[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Cat, you do know you're being held hostage by Scooter, don't you? :D

I hope you can swim. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-08-2004, 12:35 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Scooter, here`s a whole box of cookies, :D

[img:post_uid0]http://www.kras.hr/aslike/brandovi/ms24.gif[/img:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-08-2004, 03:25 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hmmm, the box is empty[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-08-2004, 05:19 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Scooter, here`s a whole box of cookies, :D

[img:post_uid0]http://www.kras.hr/aslike/brandovi/ms24.gif[/img:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Mmmm, nummy and exotic :)[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-08-2004, 09:37 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Cat, you do know you're being held hostage by Scooter, don't you? :D [/quote:post_uid0]
No... I hadn't thought of that, actually. :O

Nic: Thanks for saving me from the cold water.

Scooter... Can I go now? :p[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-09-2004, 05:11 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ok, enough with the cookies and taking Cat hostage. Lets get back on the topic. If you like, create a hostage and cookies topic Â :lol:

Next: The Top 10 Little-Known Country-Genre Vulcan Songs[/color:post_uid0]

Katy Jane

03-09-2004, 08:08 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well heres two to start you off...

10. DonÂ’t tell my Katra, (My achey brakey Katra)
9. TÂ’Bubba Phasered the Console[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-13-2004, 10:31 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]OMG, it doesn't get much more arcane than Vulcan country songs.

8. T'Mir, Don't Take Your Love to Town
7. (I'll Have a) Blue Kolinahr
6. Devil Went Down to Broken Bow
5. I Hope You Don't Dance
4. Always on My Mind Meld
3. She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Secret Spy Installation Hidden Behind It
2. Don't It Make My Pointy Ears Round
1. (Hey Won't You Play) Another Leonard McCoy Done Somebody Wrong Song

Next:
Top Ten Anachronisms Coming To Enterprise Now That They've Done the Borg[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-14-2004, 01:28 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Scooter has again resurrected the topic by solving a challenging Top 10 list. We know what this means, don`t we...?

[img:post_uid0]http://www.kras.hr/aslike/brandovi/ms30.gif[/img:post_uid0]

And now

Top 10 Anachronisms Coming To Enterprise Now That They've Done the Borg

10. The Hirogen

9. Romulans, and in that case, why not Remans and Shinzon too? :D

8. Weyoun, Dukat and Damar (this time, Jeffrey Combs playing all three of them)

7. Q and Q-Junior

6. Big plot twist in the season finale - the Enterprise and the Xindi form an alliance to fight Species 8472

5. Lwaxana Troi falls through a temporal rift and desperately falls in love with Archer, Phlox, Trip and Travis. She visits every season.

4. The entire crew of Voyager, when the Enterprise crew travel back to 1996 Los Angeles. Archer and Janeway kiss passionately.

I`m going to bed, :p[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-14-2004, 02:22 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0][img:post_uid0]http://www.kras.hr/aslike/brandovi/ms30.gif[/img:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Mmmmm, cookies. :bigsmile:[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-14-2004, 05:06 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]3. Bald captains

2. TNG's tradition of keeping pets aboard the sh--um, never mind...

1. Holodeck episodes [i:post_uid0]( NOOOOOOO! )[/i:post_uid0]

Next:

Top Ten Secret Time Travel Methods and Devices Used By Members of Starfleet[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-14-2004, 01:43 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]10. Duct tape
9. Kirk's rug
8. Porthos(is secretly an agent of the Time Travel War)
7. Sisko's baseball
6. Worf's pride
5. Troi's dresses
4. Picard's love for Crusher(which explains the series finale)
3. Crusher's love for Picard
2. Data's cat, Spot
1. Janeway's coffee cup!

Top Ten Secret Goals of any Star Trek series characters[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-14-2004, 03:28 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Gack. I've been absent from this thread far too long. Stupid calculus. Also Vulcan Country Hits.

[b:post_uid0]Top Ten Secret Goals of Star Trek Characters[/b:post_uid0]

10. [b:post_uid0]Lwaxana:[/b:post_uid0] To cover up the fact that "Rixx" was the name of her great-great-grandmother's pet cat
9. [b:post_uid0]Brunt:[/b:post_uid0] To insult every single sentient being in the universe, in alphabetical order. Is devoting extra attention to the 'Q's
8. [b:post_uid0]Data:[/b:post_uid0] Desire to be human motivated primarily by desperate urge to get "I Shot the Sheriff" out of memory banks
7. [b:post_uid0]Sloan:[/b:post_uid0] Was hoping to kill off every living person in the galaxy, so he could stop being so secretive and live a normal life again.
6. [b:post_uid0]Garak:[/b:post_uid0] To dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe, and to bear with unbearable sorrow to run where the brave dare not go.
5. [b:post_uid0]Icheb:[/b:post_uid0] To live up to his personal role-model, Wesley Crusher
4. [b:post_uid0]Klaang:[/b:post_uid0] Unclear, evidently something involving T'Pol and Saran wrap
3. [b:post_uid0]Kai Winn:[/b:post_uid0] To convince the people of Bajor that Weight-Watchers is in fact [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] a sin in the eyes of the Prophets
2. [b:post_uid0]Shran:[/b:post_uid0] Is only leading militant rebellion until he finally manages to break into theater
1. [b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Is actually hosting the most succesful Candid Camera program of all time.

Next up: Top Ten Ways to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-16-2004, 01:07 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Ways to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship

10. Reprogram the transporters to materialize only the heads at the end of transport. After you've taken over the ship, use them for soccer practice.
9. Construct a really sexy hologram to distract Riker. Make sure she speaks French, too, just in case Picard is around as well.
8. Code Name: Jellicoe.
7. Step one: Kidnap Data. Step two: When the entire crew beams down to look for him and Dr. Beverly is left in command, send in your best sexy Trill ghost and the ship will be yours.
6. Reprogram the replicators to dispense Chamomile instead of Earl Grey.
5. All screens and monitors display only "Baywatch" reruns.
4. Tell Bun-Bun that "Starship Enterprise" is a previously unknown holiday.
3. Popularize a holodeck novel in which participants engage in the day-to-day operations of a Galaxy-class starship, and wait for the crew to all get stuck in it without realizing it.
2. Beam the senior staff down to a Star Trek convention. When they die of humuliation, take over the ship.

And The Number One Way to Steal A Galaxy-Class Starship

1. Hey--instead of stealing it, why not just replicate one?

Next, in honor of Pi Day: Top Ten Favorite Pies from the Neelix Cookbook[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-16-2004, 04:06 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Favorite Pies from the Neelix Cookbook

10. Leola Root Pie
9. Prune Pie
8. Lettuce and Cheese Sauce pie
7. Coffee pie
6. Hot Cross Bun Pie
5. M-Class Planet Suprise Pie
4. Nebula Pie
3. Paris's Speciel Pie
2. Root, Grub, and Grass Pie
1. Porthos's Famous Chilli Cheese Pie.

Top Ten Reasons the crew of DS9 didnt get more... romance*wink wink nudge nudge*[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-17-2004, 10:54 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Reasons the crew of DS9 didnt get more... romance*wink wink nudge nudge*

10. "I guess I've found out how far down the spots go" deemed to good a line to waste on anything but series finale
9. After watching "His Way," crew unanimously prefers celibacy to any contact with Vic
8. The one-episode flame who is never seen again doesn't work as well when everybody stays in the same place the whole time
7. Due to constant extreme proximity to the Celestial Palace of the Prophets, various Kais, and the Emissary of the Prophets , crew is rather discomforted by the whole matter
6. Saving it all for [i:post_uid0]ENT[/i:post_uid0] promos
5. Rumored leftover Cardassian recording/transmitting equipment still not removed
4. All station's women refuse any other man after one night with Morn
3. Romance bring pleasure; pleasure brings joy; joy interferes with dark gloomy atmosphere
2. Unnerving threats made by Kira in the event that she ever has to carry anybody else's baby again
1. Foolish writers somehow thought that Odo/Kira, O'Brienn/Kieko, Bashir/Dax, Dax/Worf, Sisko/Kassidy, Odo/Female Shapeshifter, Rom/Leeta, Garak/Ziyal, and Dukat/Winn actually sufficient.

Next up: Top Ten Tricks and Tips for Writing a Fiver[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-17-2004, 02:28 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Tricks and Tips for Writing a Fiver

10. Write one for something the site actually covers. The Hardy Boys, Garfield, and Barney are not good subjects.

9. Come to think of it, an episode of Barney could probably be covered in ten seconds.

8. Don't be afraid to milk a joke for all it's worth.

7. Just scrawl down any old rubbish that comes to mind.

6. Don't be afraid to rip other fivers off.

5. Don't be afraid to include actual literary devices, like parallelism for example.

4. Don't be afraid to include running jokes, like this entire list thus far for example.[/color:post_uid0]

Derek

03-17-2004, 05:49 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]3. If you can't think of something funny for a certain scene, write it in such a way that people think it's a reference to something they haven't seen/read.

2. Don't be afraid to milk a joke for all it's worth.

1. When in doubt, make a joke about pie/Porthos/chili/etc.

Next: Top 10 Favorite things about 5MD[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke

03-17-2004, 07:10 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]And I thought [i:post_uid0]I[/i:post_uid0] had an ego. :D[/color:post_uid0]

mudshark

03-17-2004, 09:05 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Derek"][color=#000000:post_uid0]3. If you can't think of something funny for a certain scene, write it in such a way that people think it's a reference to something they haven't seen/read.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]You're talking about [i:post_uid0]me[/i:post_uid0], aren't you? :p :D[/color:post_uid0]

Derek

03-17-2004, 09:20 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Actually, I'm referring more to guest submissions I get that look like they must have a reference to something, but it doesn't mean anything to me. Sometimes I'll let a scene or two like that just pass without comment.

...But I do still remember your theory about "The Collaborator". I wish I were as good as you made me out to be. :)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-17-2004, 11:55 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]1. Foolish writers somehow thought that Odo/Kira, O'Brienn/Kieko, Bashir/Dax, Dax/Worf, Sisko/Kassidy, Odo/Female Shapeshifter, Rom/Leeta, Garak/Ziyal, and Dukat/Winn actually sufficient.[/quote:post_uid0]

[color=green:post_uid0]What about poor little Jake? He didnt get much. Or Quark? He was on DS9 AND BTVS and didnt get anyone![/color:post_uid0]

hehe, yah, I was trying to make fun of the fact that there was so much romance on DS9 when I came up with that topic.[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-18-2004, 02:20 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hey guys,

Well, I was sooooo bored the other night that I [i:post_uid0]compiled[/i:post_uid0] the top ten lists through Monday.

It's in PDF form at the following link:

http://galacticzero.com/files/topten1.pdf

Enjoy! Don't worry about me, I'll get a life someday.[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-18-2004, 02:23 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000:post_uid0]What about poor little Jake?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hmmm, what about Jake/Nog? :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-18-2004, 05:39 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, yes, but I mean... that was merely implied! ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-18-2004, 05:48 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top 10 Favorite things about 5MD

10. Vic Fontane is taken seriously.
9. No Porthos jokes.
8. Sense is made regarding why Kai Winn dated Dukat.
7. Well-thought out plots are torn apart, as opposed to the other 5MV subsites, where plots only makes sense at 5MV.
6. No one eats chilli.
5. Jake gets lines.
4. Morn gets mourned.
3. It's puns-tastic!
2. The only sci-fi you can read or watch when reading "Heart of Darkness" is too exciting.
1. It only takes 35 minutes, rather than 35 weeks, to see Ezri and Julian together!

Top Ten Reasons 'Shipper faves never would have worked. (ie, Data/toaster)[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-18-2004, 06:44 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Reasons 'Shipper faves never would have worked. (ie, Data/toaster)

10. Seven/Data
9. Odo/Janeway
8. Chakotay/Tree Goddess
7. Spock/T'Pol
6. Kirk/Janeway
5. Tucker/Ezri
4. Data/T'Pol
3. Chakotay/Borg Queen
2. Doctor/Kes
1. Picard/Janeway

Next: Top 10 product placements in Star Trek episodes

(What is 5MD?)[/color:post_uid0]

mudshark

03-18-2004, 07:05 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0](Five-Minute Deep Space Nine)[/color:post_uid0]

Katy Jane

03-18-2004, 08:11 AM

[quote:post_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Next: Top 10 product placements in Star Trek episodes[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]If it wern't for the fact that its way past my bed time i'd do this one :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-18-2004, 10:02 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wow, Scooter, that's an impressive PDF. I had no idea we'd already gone through so many.

Zeke, maybe you could link to it from the 5MV Top Ten page? It'd give you a freebie update ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-18-2004, 10:15 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wow, it's with pictures and everything...even one for Shanter singing, Â Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom *sighs at hottness*, Top Hat Man, and even...Data/Toaster!

I've also discovered that although my own lists may be only amusing, the subjects I come up with are made into hilarious lists! Good Jobs Everyone :)

*disclaimer for the grammer breaking of this post: was written when tired, cranky, and full of cough syrup*[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-18-2004, 10:23 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]It's in PDF form at the following link:[/quote:post_uid0]
It appears I can't read that here, so I'll have to wait until I get home. Dammit.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-18-2004, 12:52 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ehehehehehe! My avatar! :D
Aaaand back to the scheduled agenda:

[b:post_uid0]Top Ten Product Placements on Star Trek Episodes[/b:post_uid0] (haven't we been here before?)

[b:post_uid0]10. Pepsi X:[/b:post_uid0] To escape a wavefront of destruction, Geordi pours a quart of the drink into the warp drive. Dramatic shot of Enterprise racing away from spread of wavefront accompanied by orchestral music. Enterprise stops in empty space until wavefront of destruction appears again, whereupon Geordi pours another quart of the drink into the warp drive....
[b:post_uid0]9. BMW:[/b:post_uid0] Fifteen entire minutes of a Voyager episode is spent on the holodeck with Paris gushing on endlessly about the capabilities of the latest model to a very bored and semi-comatose B'Elanna.
[b:post_uid0]8. Carlsburg:[/b:post_uid0] Bashir orders a bottle of Carlsburg from Quark's and starts blowing into it. Others soon join in. Vic sings to the tune. In a surprise move, Morn stands up and makes his bellybutton dance along.
[b:post_uid0]7.McDonalds:[/b:post_uid0] It's ubiquitous. There's one on every alien planet they visit, even the one with the sentient goop that clone people.
[b:post_uid0]6. Nokia:[/b:post_uid0] Â In its latest uniform redesign, Starfleet phases out the commbadge and replaces it with the new Nokia 7260, which comes with an integrated camera, 16-tone polyphonic ringtones, and Xpress-On changeable phone covers in a range of 24 colors.
[b:post_uid0]5.Tiger Beer:[/b:post_uid0] After saving the universe, Picard is congratulated by Riker. "Give this man a beer!" he says. "No," says Data, "give him a Tiger!"
[b:post_uid0]4. Rogaine:[/b:post_uid0] Subliminally, a picture of Picard is flashed as "before", with one of Riker flashed as "after".
[b:post_uid0]3. Microsoft:[/b:post_uid0] Archer begins every episode by asking Mayweather, "Where do you want to go today?"
[b:post_uid0]2. Apple:[/b:post_uid0] Janeway uses a Macintosh to upload a virus into the Borg hive mind and thus saves the universe.

And the #1 product placement on a Trek Episode is...

[b:post_uid0]1. 5MV:[/b:post_uid0] The gist of the episode is squashed into the first five minutes, and the next forty minutes are spent having the crewmembers in the mess hall making Porthos and chili jokes, while being assured that dinner will be served "soon".

I'm not sure if anyone else has seen the Carlsburg ad I'm talking about. It may just be a Singaporean thing.

Next: The Top Ten New Members of the League Of Extraordinary Men (and Women), and Why[/color:post_uid0]

Quinalla

03-18-2004, 01:52 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]This thread is hilarious :)

[quote:post_uid0]What about poor little Jake? He didnt get much. Or Quark? He was on DS9 AND BTVS and didnt get anyone![/quote:post_uid0]

Jake was dating Marta for a bit, who knows how far he got with that. Jake did get married in "The Visitor" as well, but that timeline was killed by Jake himself. Quark never had a long-term romance, but he certainly "got some". That Cardassian gal Natima and Grilka the Klingon woman for sure. He also flirted quite a bit with the ferengi gal that was pretending to be a man.[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-18-2004, 03:36 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Still not home, but nice list. :D

I like the pictures, too. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-18-2004, 08:14 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Glad you guys had fun with it. I had a lot of laughs making it, reliving some fun lists (including Data/toaster, Bajoran Day of Sitting, and many more). And this is only a couple months' worth of lists. THere've been some great lists since I put this one together, so obviously there'll be a Volume 2, the next time I get really, [i:post_uid0]really[/i:post_uid0] bored. :)

If you can't read the file, Adobe Acrobat Reader is free from http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html.[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-18-2004, 10:49 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo, I think Opium meant the *reasons* the 'ships wouldn't work, not just funny 'ships... I could be wrong, but it's fun anyway :)

10. [b:post_uid0]Data/Toaster:[/b:post_uid0] ***BEEEEEP: Incompatible hardware. Driver not found. Abort/Retry/Fail?***
9. [b:post_uid0]Seven/Doctor:[/b:post_uid0] For a former member of the Collective, the Doctor is just too light-hearted.
8. [b:post_uid0]Janeway/Tuvok:[/b:post_uid0] If Janeway wanted an impassive hunk of wood, she'd have gone for Chakotay.
7. [b:post_uid0]Janeway/Chakotay:[/b:post_uid0] If Janeway wanted an impassive hunk of wood, she'd have gone for Tuvok.
6. [b:post_uid0]Odo/Kira:[/b:post_uid0] This one was actually O/K.
5. [b:post_uid0]Wesley/Borg Queen:[/b:post_uid0] Well [i:post_uid0]duh[/i:post_uid0] - she'd have flayed him alive inch by inch for the entertainment of the collective. What do you mean, "that's why"?
4. [b:post_uid0]Janeway/Neelix:[/b:post_uid0] Didn't Zeke already [i:post_uid0]tell[/i:post_uid0] you you're sick?
3. [b:post_uid0]Bashir/Bashir:[/b:post_uid0] Though more true to character, it also kept every single other member of the crew on the other side of the space station.
2. [b:post_uid0]Travis/T'Pol:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, so you believe in this "Travis" character too, eh? No, you're confused - that's "3rd Ensign" you're pointing at.
1. [b:post_uid0]Chakotay/Seven:[/b:post_uid0] ref: VOY, season 7.[/color:post_uid0]

Nan

03-18-2004, 11:15 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Standback"]...[b:post_uid0]Chakotay/Seven[/b:post_uid0]...[/quote:post_uid0]
*shudder*

Don't remind me. For the love of pi, don't remind me.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-19-2004, 03:06 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Standback, that you did was what I meant, but both lists are cool :)[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-20-2004, 03:58 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yay, the link for Acrobat Reader! I was unable to read the file, and got sad, but now... geez! 53 minutes to download the damn thing! Oh well, it`s worth it!

Excellent, Scooter! I`d give you another box of cookies but the cookie website seems to be unavailable right now, :D[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-20-2004, 04:03 AM

[quote:post_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]1. 5MV:[/b:post_uid0] The gist of the episode is squashed into the first five minutes, and the next forty minutes are spent having the crewmembers in the mess hall making Porthos and chili jokes, while being assured that dinner will be served "soon".[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha!

"and the next forty minutes are spent having the crewmembers in the mess hall making Porthos and chili"

:D[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-20-2004, 06:06 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits...

[b:post_uid0]::TWONK::[/b:post_uid0]

::rolls eyes::[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-20-2004, 06:13 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Yay, the link for Acrobat Reader! I was unable to read the file, and got sad, but now... geez! 53 minutes to download the damn thing! Oh well, it`s worth it!

Excellent, Scooter! I`d give you another box of cookies but the cookie website seems to be unavailable right now, :D[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I plead guilty to being broadbandcentric. Sorry dialup folks. Hope you enjoy it anyway. To be fair, I tried to keep the size down, but I was barely able to get the Acrobat Distiller to create it at all (my copy is screwed up). If I can get the size down I'll repost it.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-20-2004, 06:25 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I don't think your copy is screwed up, Scooter. I think Adobe Acrobat is just [b:post_uid0]plain screwed up, period[/b:post_uid0].

I got my copy from school, and it regularly crashes my IE and completely slows down my computer by half. Bloody thing. Everytime I click on a .pdf in Explorer by accident I start screaming "OH NOOOOOO!" and rush to stop the thing from loading before it freezes up, falls to a million pieces and crashes.[/color:post_uid0]

MaverickZer0

03-20-2004, 07:52 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The Top Ten New Members of the League Of Extraordinary Men (and Women), and Why

(Oh, it's not all ST...just most...)

10. Captain Janeway -- World's First Coffee-Powered Superhero
9. Archer-- Thick Enough Skull to Repel Anything
8. Wesley Crusher-- Ten Seconds of Him Will Send Anyone Screaming
7. The Doctor-- His Singing Will Traumatize Within A Minute, Guaranteed
6. Counselor Troi-- The Power of Annoyance Through Sensing...Nothing
5. Hoshi-- Deafens Opponents In Just One Scream
4. ProtoMan-- Most Mysterious Ally Ever
3. Paris-- 20th Century Fixation Will Drive the Most Patient Up the Wall
2. Tucker-- The Luckiest Person Around. Period.

And the number one...

1. Bass/Zero-- He just rules. Does he need an excuse?

(Don't believe Bass and Zero are the same? http://www.nintelligent.net/character181.php )

Next Up: Top Ten Worst Candidates for Public Office

(In the spirit of election time coming around, of course.)[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-20-2004, 08:41 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I know what you mean, 17, I do the same thing. Try deactivating the option to automatically check for updates and see if that helps.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-20-2004, 11:08 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Worst Candidates for Public Office
(I'm assuming Trek characters)

10. Kai Win: Isnt it obvious? She would just have intern-sex scandal after intern-sex scandal!
9. Troi: She would state the obvious and the truthful, something so unheard of in politics that the entire political system would collapse.
8. Riker: He'd always be asking Picard for advice. And Troi would be the first lady, see above.
7. Redshirt: He or she would be killed at first public appearence.
6. Bashir: Would be so consumed with self he would pay little attention to...oh wait, no, that's a normal politician!
5. Ezri: So annoyed by husband's vanity, she would be driven to madness from her former hosts.
4. Chakotay: Such a wooden figure would never be accepted into politics...no, wait, it would. Never mind this one.
3. Spock: His logic would overwhelm the political system. His lack of emotions would bore the voting public.
2. Quark: So consumed by greed, he would wage wars for oil. In fact, he would do everything for oil, because oil means $$$!
1. Wesley Crusher: Do I really have to explain this one?

Top Ten Best Trek Character for Public Office[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-21-2004, 12:00 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]^Great list, but maybe Data should have been on it. I can see him launching nuclear wars for no other reason than because it might help him become more human... ;)

Top Ten Best Trek Characters for Public Office

10. Picard: He's got that "distinguished statesman" look to him already.
9. Nanite #356-24-53C: Would be able to rig elections by messing with the tally computers. Also too small for anyone to hear it, so it could make the most ridiculous campaign promises and then afterwards claim that its translator misunderstood it.
8. Kirk: Just to hear him say "[i:post_uid0]BUUUUUUUUUSSSHH![/i:post_uid0]" at the televised debate
7. Janeway: Mulgrew's already had some experience with politics.
6. Wesley Crusher: His opponent would have an easy win, and he would be too busy to be on TNG.
5. Bob the tribble: He can rig elections by spawning dozens of die-hard supporters at a moment's notice. Plus he's got more charisma and cuteness than the average politician. Probably smarter too.
4. Spock: His logic would overwhelm the political system. This alone would be no small accomplishment.
3. Morn: He would break the "all politicians lie" stereotype. The fact that he would never tell the truth either is insignificant.
2. Odo: He could achieve the career politician's dream of being all things to all people.
1. Abraham Lincoln: Hah, thought I would forget about him didn'tcha? :p

Next: Top Ten Rejected Proposed New URL's for This Site[/color:post_uid0]

Katy Jane

03-21-2004, 01:48 AM

[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Next: Top Ten Rejected Proposed New URL's for This Site[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]OooooooOOOoooo! *Yoinks*

10. www.Tophatmancentral.com
9.www.fiversnstuff.com
8. www.Pifivers.com
7. www.fiveminuteenterprise.com

Ummmm.... soneone else can do the rest :p[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-21-2004, 03:31 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. www.johnisthecoolestever.com
5. www.johnisthecoolestever.ca
4. www.porthoschilli.com
3. www.hammerofsmitting.com
2. www.toptenlistgroupadaptivestoryonebyonestoryquest ionandanserthisorthatandsomefivers.com
1. www.5mv5md5me5mng5mst5ma5mfs55mvg5msTJITTL5msg5mb5 m5vandalotofforums.com

Top Ten Shows That Will Never Be Fived[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-21-2004, 05:14 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Shows That Will Never Be Fived

10. American Idol - no fiver needed; can be done in a oner:
[b:post_uid0]Singer[/b:post_uid0]: Screech!
[b:post_uid0]Paula Abdul[/b:post_uid0]: Awesome.
[b:post_uid0]Simon Cowell[/b:post_uid0]: Putrescent.
[b:post_uid0]Randy Jackson[/b:post_uid0]: Next!
9. Hardball with Chris Matthews - can't watch long enough to five
8. Stressed Eric - vanished unwatched before it could be fived
7. Galactica 1980 - fiver would explode from contact with the suckitude
6. Blossom - diabetic coma prevents completing fiver
5. The Top Hat Man Variety Hour - urge to kill is too distracting
4. NYPD Blue - too difficult to convey artsy camera shaking in text
3. Electra Woman and Dyna Girl - it is, after all, its own fiver
2. Dune - illegal psychotropic substances required to properly five
1. The Shatner/Nimoy Mind Meld video - it's just too too sad

Next:
Top Ten Gene Roddenberry Series Ideas That Majel Hasn't Sprung On Us Yet[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-21-2004, 05:30 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Gene Roddenberry Series Ideas That Majel Hasn't Sprung On Us Yet

10. Voyager gets lost...again: The fivers are already available
9. A show from the Borg point of view
8. A show revolving around Star Fleet Academy (Perhaps showing the struggles Captain Kirk, Picard, Janeway, and other officers while going through the Academy.
7. Light Sabers

Someone can finish, mine suck.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-21-2004, 08:20 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. The Animals of Star Trek...Porthos, Spot, Martok's Targ and Tribbles tell the REAL stories.
5. Star Trek: Section 31...staring Sloan's twin brother, about the secret section that messes up doctors to hide the real threats...
4. Star Trek: Sections 32-50...a series about the real secret agents, who want to prevent the real theatre to the Federation: seat belts, uniforms with pockets, and of course, decafe.
3. Android! The Musical...starring B4, Lal, Data, Lore and others.
2. Redshirt Survivor...Redshirts compete on set to see who will make it to the next episode.
1. Star Trek: Canada...like Star Trek, only with more peace-keeping and less war. Much less war.

Top Ten Top Ten Lists That We Hope Will Never Be Written[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-21-2004, 09:31 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Top Ten Lists That We Hope Will Never Be Written

10. Top Ten Secrets of Sa'ar's Love Life
9. Phlox's Top Ten Bodily Anomalies
8. Top Ten Erotic Fantasies Involving Neelix
7. Top Ten Deaths of John
6. Top Ten Most Romantic C/7 Moments
5. Top Ten Ways to Bring Back Dr. Pulaski
4. Top Ten Things Found Under the Bed in Jake's Room
3. Top Ten Off-Color Joe Piscopo Jokes Cut From "The Outrageous Okona"
2. The Obsessive Trekker's Top Ten Ways in Which TOS Constitutes a Serious and Compelling Social Document Reflecting Profoundly on Our Culture and Our Times

and the Number One Top Ten List That We Hope Will Never Be Written

1. Top Ten Topic Title Threads

Next:
Pick one of the above and write it! ( BWAHAHAHAHA! )

PS - Certain parties (and you know who you are) are [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] allowed to write #7 on pain of smiting. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-21-2004, 09:38 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]In fact, let's write them all, one by one. :D[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-21-2004, 11:40 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten "Topic Title" Threads:

10. igPay opicTay itleTay
9. Darmok Topic Title
8. (Omission of Topic's Title. Statement that this was Done on Purpose.)
7. Winning of lottery. Great Textual Screaming. Inclusion of as many exclamation points as I darn well plea$e.
6. Tophatmanic Title
5. Topic Title
4. eltiT cipoT esrevinU rorriM
3. Accidental Discovery that Nitroglycerin and Baking Soda make a Hilarious [i:post_uid0]FWOOOSH[/i:post_uid0]ing Sound and Explosion when Mixed Together
2. Rephrasing of Star Trek Dialogue in Topic Title Format
1. Statement of Admission Concerning the Fact that Speaker of Aforementioned Statement of Admission is Aware of the Fact that Aforementioned Speaker Has Totally Forgotten What He Was Going to Say Here. Shrugging of Shoulders and Eating of Pie.

Next: Top Ten Topic-Title-izations of Star Trek Dialogue (or one of Scooter's if you really want)[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-22-2004, 12:12 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]10. Top Ten Secrets of Sa'ar's Love Life[/quote:post_uid0]

Smartass. :P

10. Involves fruit, chocolate-filled hot tubs and long-distance phone calls to certain Asian countries.
9. By day, a mild mannered, geeky Chemistry grad student. By night, causes women to swoon at karaoke bars.
8. Across the river in Hull, they call him Maisonnouveau.
7. Long-distance calls to The Netherlands are completely innocent.
6. Let's not go into long-distance calls to Croatia.
5. Bears a striking resemblence to one of Buffy's boyfriends, Luke Skywalker and the guy from That Seventies Show (all at the same time). Er...Sa'ar does, not his love life.
4. He and Nan are just friends, despite appearances.
3. Was once asked by Leonardo DiCaprio: Stop looking so damned good, you're overshadowing me.
2. Is Legolas.

And the Number One Secret Of Sa'ar's Love Life:

1. He actually has one.

Another one of Scooter's.[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-22-2004, 03:06 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Scooter"]PS - Certain parties (and you know who you are) are [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] allowed to write #7 on pain of smiting. ;)[/quote:post_uid0]

And of course, that does not refer to me! :D

[b:post_uid0]The Top Ten Deaths of John[/b:post_uid0]

[b:post_uid0]10. [/b:post_uid0]He was slowly disemboweled with a rusty toothpick, and his entrails were used as party streamers at his funereal celebrations.
[b:post_uid0]9. [/b:post_uid0]Someone gave him a red shirt for his birthday.
[b:post_uid0]8. [/b:post_uid0]He was chopped up, stewed with potatoes, and fed to the dogs.
[b:post_uid0]7. [/b:post_uid0]He accidentally put his head into a blender on high speed.
[b:post_uid0]6.[/b:post_uid0] He was put through college as a life science major.
[b:post_uid0]5.[/b:post_uid0] He was eaten alive by carnivorous pink butterflies.
[b:post_uid0]4. [/b:post_uid0]He was repeatedly THWAP!ed across the head with a five mile long station.
[b:post_uid0]3. [/b:post_uid0]He auditioned for American Idol and was sporked to death by Simon Cowell after the first two notes of "Faith of the Heart".
[b:post_uid0]2.[/b:post_uid0] He met [b:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]ME.[/i:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0]

And the number one Death of John:

[b:post_uid0]1. [/b:post_uid0]Some idiot put him into the One-By-One story on a whim, and he has been stuck in the everlasting cycle of life and death since, never to attain nirvana.

Why am I only restricted to ten entries on this list? It's not fair! I'm having so much fun here!

Sa'ar-- Regarding your list. I understand #10 and #7. But [i:post_uid0]what the hell do you mean by #6?[/i:post_uid0] Â :suspicious:

You had better not be going after hot Croatian chicks without telling me. [b:post_uid0]Because [i:post_uid0]I WANT IN![i:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-22-2004, 03:29 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The Top Ten Deaths of John
I cant help it. Please forgive me.

10. John meets a Klingon and says, "Wow, you sure had a bad face lift. I can see the bumps!"
9. John meets Porthos. Mentions chilli. John is killed.
8. John sings the national anthem of America to the tune of the national anthem of Canada. Is hit with hot dogs. Eats one. Chokes.
7. Sa'ar kills him. Scooter kills him. 17 kills him. Everyone kills him. Opium brings him back to kill him.
6. John wanders into a meeting of Section 31; is never seen again.
5. John wanders into a slash story. Dies of shock.
4. GAS runs out of ideas; we kill John.
3. Someone mentions him in the Answer; he dies in the Question.
2. John+Malfunctioning Phaser+Delenn.
1. Top Hat Man and John fight over the last piece of poison chilli pudding pie with ice cream and cheese. John wins.

Top Ten Topic-Title-izations of Star Trek Dialogue (or one of Scooter's if you really want)[/color:post_uid0]

Nan

03-22-2004, 04:31 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]10. Â Involves fruit, chocolate-filled hot tubs and long-distance phone calls to certain Asian countries.[/quote:post_uid0]

[i:post_uid0]The time has come for us to say saiyonara....[/i:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]4. He and Nan are just friends, despite appearances.[/quote:post_uid0]

[i:post_uid0]Q: Are Nan and Sa'ar Chasm an item?

A: ...AAAAARGH.[/i:post_uid0]

(5 points to whoever gets the reference and isn't Beaker. :D )[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-22-2004, 04:39 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]10. Top Ten Secrets of Sa'ar's Love Life[/quote:post_uid0]

Smartass. Â :P

6. Let's not go into long-distance calls to Croatia.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I can understand that. The cat is very cute. :)[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-22-2004, 08:22 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000:post_uid0]3. Someone mentions him in the Answer; he dies in the Question.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]:lol:

I loved that one, along with the rest of the list[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-22-2004, 10:07 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]7. Long-distance calls to The Netherlands are completely innocent.[/quote:post_uid0]
For now. *Winkwink* :p

[quote:post_uid0]You had better not be going after hot Croatian chicks without telling me. [b:post_uid0]Because [i:post_uid0]I WANT IN![/i:post_uid0][/b:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
He's not talking about the chicks and you know it. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-22-2004, 08:51 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]7. Long-distance calls to The Netherlands are completely innocent.

For now. *Winkwink*[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]6. Let's not go into long-distance calls to Croatia.

I can understand that. The cat is very cute.[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]Q: Are Nan and Sa'ar Chasm an item?

A: ...AAAAARGH.[/quote:post_uid0]

[quote:post_uid0]You had better not be going after hot Croatian chicks without telling me. Because I WANT IN![/quote:post_uid0]

I seem to be acquiring a forum harem.[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-22-2004, 11:12 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I seem to be acquiring a forum harem.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Wasn't that a prog rock group in the Sixties? :)[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke

03-23-2004, 05:06 AM

[quote:post_uid0="MaverickZer0"][color=#000000:post_uid0](Don't believe Bass and Zero are the same? http://www.nintelligent.net/character181.php )[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Bass and Zero are [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] the same. Their personalities are totally different. That link you posted is stating pure supposition as fact. With Mega Man and X there's a case to be made, but not with Bass and Zero -- you might as well claim Zero was originally Toad Man.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

03-23-2004, 03:46 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Most Romantic C/7 Moments

10. The split second that they made eye contact
9. Chakotay gave up his replicator rations for Seven
8. That time they went on a away mission together and Chakotay was flying the shuttle
7. That time they "accidently" bumped into each other in Astrometrics.
6. The time they rode in the turbo lift together
5. To be honest, you could sense a bond between the two while Seven was still a Borg Drone
4. That time they had pie together in the mess hall
3. Blame an anomoly
2. Seven learned about kissing, and decided to test it out on a tree (or a halogram) that just happened to be Chakotay
1. Sorry, there just isn't one

Next: Top Ten Nicknames for 5MV forum members[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-23-2004, 04:08 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I seem to be acquiring a forum harem.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Which consists of a number, two cats, and a Romulan bent on world domination.

Ni-ice. :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-23-2004, 04:22 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The Romulan doesn't sound so bad, actually. :D[/color:post_uid0]

mudshark

03-23-2004, 04:59 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Scooter"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]I seem to be acquiring a forum harem.[/quote:post_uid0]
Wasn't that a prog rock group in the Sixties? :)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Close. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-23-2004, 05:33 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Wasn't that a prog rock group in the Sixties?

Close.[/quote:post_uid0]

Good, 'cause I don't think I can manage to turn a whiter shade of pale. I've seen albinos with more pigment. Maybe I should go stand near the UV lamps.

[quote:post_uid0]The Romulan doesn't sound so bad, actually.[/quote:post_uid0]

Yeah, but she's cheating on me with other Evil Overlords (or cheating on them with me. It's complicated and pixellated).[/color:post_uid0]

PointyHairedJedi

03-23-2004, 11:38 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh yeah, I'm going to have fun with this one... :D

Top Ten Nicknames for 5MV Forum Members

10. NAHTMMM - "Math Man" (Holy fractals, Math Man!)
9. FatMat - "John-boy"
8. Celeste - "CatDog"
7. Sa'ar Chasm - "Doug"
6. Marc - "Mister 'There...Are...Four...Puns!'"
5. KatyJane - "Martia Hari"
4. 17 - "taya" (but only if you have a death wish)
3. Zuke - "You deluded fool"
2. Zeke - "Zekey-buns"

And the number one nickname for a 5MV forumgoer is:
1. Kira - "Ma'am"[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-24-2004, 12:23 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]7. Sa'ar Chasm - "Doug"[/quote:post_uid0]

Beware of Doug.[/color:post_uid0]

MaverickZer0

03-24-2004, 12:37 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="MaverickZer0"](Don't believe Bass and Zero are the same? http://www.nintelligent.net/character181.php )[/quote:post_uid0]
Bass and Zero are [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] the same. Â Their personalities are totally different. Â That link you posted is stating pure supposition as fact. Â With Mega Man and X there's a case to be made, but not with Bass and Zero -- you might as well claim Zero was originally Toad Man.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]*shakes Nintelligent.net* Damn you for looking so official. And all I wanted was a good quality Zero.exe piccie!

I see now. It's about as official as FanFiction.net. Damn that place anyways.[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-24-2004, 12:52 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Shows on Bajoran TV (Group effort):

10: A cooking show hosted by Kai Win - Wok With The Prophets[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-24-2004, 01:48 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]9. Survivor: Cardassian Planet
8. Law and Order: Farm Inspection Unit[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-24-2004, 03:37 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I started writing this, but then I stopped, and now I`m back. But if I hadn`t stopped, Opium and I would have double-posted for the fourth or the fifth time. Opium, my nemesis, you keep following me, you have found me again, the weak will perish...

Fortunately, this is group effort, :D

7. Touched by a Prophet (and its spin-off Oprah)

6. A Ferengi ripoff of the latter, Touched by a Profit

5. Balias - a young woman is recruited by the Bajoran Intelligence Agency (BIA) to secretly fight Cardassians, but she discovers she is actually secretly working for the Cardassians, so she teams up with the real BIA to secretly fight Cardassians and realizes a horrible truth about her father - he is also secretly fighting Cardassians.

4. Fifth Rock from the Celestial Temple - four wacky Prophets assume Bajoran bodies and provide other Prophets deliriously hysterical fun while attempting to live with the Bajorans.

3. The Practice (2372.) - a legal drama series set on a Cardassian court. Cancelled after three episodes because of sheer boredom and the Cardassian legal principle "guilty until proven guilty" (>ripping off "Tribunal" blurb<)

2. Space Quest - a brave Bajoran starship B.S.S. Tiny Dinghy of Suckitude explores Alpha and Gamma quadrant, never referring to the Celestial Temple as "ugh, wormhole"...

and the number 1 TV show on Bajoran TV:

1. An Earth soap opera DS9, renamed "The Bald and the Bajoranful".[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-24-2004, 03:52 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hehe! You forgot a new topic! Well, I have one...

Top Ten Rejected-due-to-controversy Voyager episodes[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-24-2004, 04:22 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oooh, I see the Top 10 Topic Title-izations of Star Trek dialogue is still free... Bwahahahaha! ::steals all the spotlight::

be aware that I have never seen the original Topic title... just using the rumours about the myth...

10. Lily Sloane: "Strong and profane exclamation regarding the transfer of vessel control to the cybernetics!"
Picard: "Insane scream, followed by destruction of Ready Room!"

9. Chakotay: "A fable detailing the journeys of a fox and a scorpion en route to the river."
Janeway: "Statement containing the words "bite" and "me"."

8. Archer: "Stupid suggestion aimed at exploring the, like, the biggest comet ever."
T`Pol: "Detection of illogic."
Trip: "Lack of understanding of the word "illogic"."
T`Pol: "Detection of two morons."

7. Jake: "Confirmation of the suckitude of this station. Desire to go to writing school on Earth."
Sisko: "Pathetic pleas for the opposite! Assertions of importance of family! Importance of family! Readiness to pay you not to go!"
Quark: "Confusion. Total confusion."

6. Spock: "Awareness of the explosion of Praxis. Indication of the imminent death of Klingons."
Kirk: "Indication of yippee!"
Spock: "Plagiarized Vulcan proverb."

5. Borg Queen: "Sensation of hands and legs falling off."
Janeway: "Bitchy comment ™"

4. Riker: "French kiss."
Troi: "French kiss."
Troi: "Expression of disgust!"
Riker: "Shock and confusion!"
Troi: "Explanation of disgust, description of the stinking beard."

3. Shinzon: "First appearance, delusion of coolness."
Picard: "Question about you. Question about Remans."
Romulans: "Quote of the phrase: "Hell yeah!" BIG question about the origins of the friggin` Remans! BIG question regarding the fact we aren`t the main bad guys in the movie!"

2. Odo: "Question about the Founders of the Dominion."
Female Changeling: "Brief explanation of that with the quote of the phrase: "Well, DUH!"
Odo: "Statement of you sucking."
Fem.Chang: "Threat of bringing order to Alpha Quad. chaos."
Odo: "Implication of ripping off a certain Collective."
Fem.Chang: "Warning of The Search pre-dating First Contact."
Odo: "Embarassment."

and the Numero Uno:

1. External Sensors: "Detection of coffee and peanut butter inside the nebula."
Janeway: "Screaming versions of the word: CHAAAAARGE!"

Next: Top 10 Ideal Pets for Forumgoers[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-24-2004, 04:24 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]WAAAAAAAAAAAH! OPIUM HAS AGAIN DOUBLE-POSTED WITH ME! (urge to put 47 exclamation points..self-preservation instinct preventing it!)[/color:post_uid0]

AKAArzosah

03-24-2004, 06:27 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top 10 Ideal Pets for Forumgoers

10. A rock, so if you forget to feed it while on the internet it won't matter.
9. Something loud, so if you forget to feed it, it will be sure to let you know.
8. A monitor Figurine
7. Virtual Dogz
6. Virtual Catz
5. A frog. (They're cool, that's why!)
4. Other Forumgoers
3. Your Avatar, depending on what it may be.
2. The mouse (look under your hand)
1. Any or all of the Smilies[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-24-2004, 06:43 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I meant a specific pet for a specific forumgoer. More fun, :p[/color:post_uid0]

Nan

03-24-2004, 06:52 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]Yeah, but she's cheating on me with other Evil Overlords (or cheating on them with me. Â It's complicated and pixellated).[/quote:post_uid0]
It's the lovely little soap opera that is our lives. :D

[i:post_uid0]Next time on [b:post_uid0]The Young and the Pixellated[/b:post_uid0]... enh, nobody cares.[/i:post_uid0] ;)

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]Wok With The Prophets [/quote:post_uid0]

Arrrrghhh! Feel so compelled... to [i:post_uid0]kill![/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

AKAArzosah

03-24-2004, 06:58 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh yeah, new list.

10. Top Ten Secrets of Sa'ar's Love Life [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]
9. Phlox's Top Ten Bodily Anomalies [b:post_uid0]Oh No![/b:post_uid0]
8. Top Ten Erotic Fantasies Involving Neelix [b:post_uid0]Please Don't[/b:post_uid0]
7. Top Ten Deaths of John [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0] (Twice)
6. Top Ten Most Romantic C/7 Moments [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]
5. Top Ten Ways to Bring Back Dr. Pulaski
4. Top Ten Things Found Under the Bed in Jake's Room
3. Top Ten Off-Color Joe Piscopo Jokes Cut From "The Outrageous Okona"
2. The Obsessive Trekker's Top Ten Ways in Which TOS Constitutes a Serious and Compelling Social Document Reflecting Profoundly on Our Culture and Our Times
1. Top Ten Topic Title Threads [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]

Pick one[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-24-2004, 07:37 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]But they`re all too disturbing!

Opium, my shadow, suggested Top 10 Voyager Episodes Dropped Because of Controversy.

(or someone can write top 10 specific pets for 10 specific forumgoers...) :D[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-24-2004, 07:55 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Ways to Bring Back Dr. Pulaski

10. "Ship Still In a Bottle" - Moriarty so enjoyed Pulaski's company that he made a copy of her to wile away the time during the four years that Picard forgot about him. In the meantime she continued to stuff herself with Moriarty's delicious crumpets until she reached her maximum girth of 600 pounds. When Voyager's EMH decides to visit Moriarty's faux reality, he meets the holo Pulaski and carries on an unlikely romance with her, until her heroic death saving the doctor from an implosion in the Pringles Galaxy.

9. "With Strawberry Preserves" - Deciding Medical was not her true calling, Pulaski joined the JAG's office afer Season 2 and began roaming the galaxy for sentient andriods and confirming their legal status as toasters.

8. "Super Rosa" - Ronin, having survived after all, gives up on the Howard women and goes in search of Beverly's famous predecessor. It turns out he enjoys being spurned by her as much he did inhabiting Beverly's gran, and the two form a kind of long-term BDSM relationship.

7. "Canonicity" - When Q rules that Season 2 never happened, Pulaski is chosen by the Shadow Court of Uncanonical Characters to defend the rights of herself and all the hoi polloi wiped out of existence by the rejection of the second season. Fellow Uncanonical Lt. Arex, nursing a longstanding grudge, assists in the defense.

6. "Muscle Beach" - Pulaski leaves Starfleet to find galaxy-wide fame as a fitness maven. Her infomercials so inundante the Federation airwaves that Picard is sent to reason with her on her California-like pleasure planet, but she beats him up, and twists Data's arms off to boot.

5. "Temporal Directive" - In a stunning plot twist, Pulaski turns out to be Evil Future Guy. Her stint on the Enterprise gave her enough information to plot the demise of the Federation.

4. "In Dreams" - Wesley finds he's spending his time on alternate planes of existence having confusing dreams in which Pulaski turns out to be his real mom. In a last-ditch effort to purge his mind of these images, Wesley undergoes Kolinahr and becomes a Master of Vulcan.

3. "Flashback" - In events subsequently purged from the record for security reasons, it turns out that Pulaski was found to be a spy from an unknown Gamma Quadrant power shortly after the end of Season 2. Found guilty in a secret court martial, she was discovered to be a shapeshifter during her attempt to escape. Picard, certain of a desperate threat to the Federation, destroys her, dispersing her molecules throughout the ship. It takes her six years, but she finally manages to recoalesce, leading to a final showdown between the Federation and this powerful Founder.

2. "Eye of the Beholder" - Stricken with blindness after an accident in sickbay, Pulaski becomes an ambassador on behalf of the galaxy's ugliest creatures, the Ferengi. By this means she acquires great profit, eventually purchases Data, and turns him into a toaster.

1. "Ups and Downs" - Pulaski leaves Starfleet to become a lawyer in 24th Century Los Angeles. After a number of controversial cases, she falls down an open turbolift shaft to her death. And there was much rejoicing.

Next![/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-24-2004, 08:15 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Scooter"][color=#000000:post_uid0]9. "With Strawberry Preserves" - Deciding Medical was not her true calling, Pulaski joined the JAG's office afer Season 2 and began roaming the galaxy for sentient andriods and confirming their legal status as toasters.

5. "Temporal Directive" - In a stunning plot twist, Pulaski turns out to be Evil Future Guy. Her stint on the Enterprise gave her enough information to plot the demise of the Federation.

1. "Ups and Downs" - Pulaski leaves Starfleet to become a lawyer in 24th Century Los Angeles. After a number of controversial cases, she falls down an open turbolift shaft to her death. And there was much rejoicing.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Mwahahahahaha :D :D :D :D :D[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-24-2004, 09:27 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Things Found Under the Bed in Jake's Room
*smirks*

10. The real Kai Winn
9. Steamy pictures of Quark
8. Steamy pictures of Kai Winn
7. Steamy blackmail letters to above.
6. "Death to Baseball" magazines
5. "Solok rules" posters
4. Orb of the Obvious
3. The full, signed confession of Sloane.
2. Nog
1. "101 Ways to Be On A Ship For 7 Seasons and Never Have More Than Four Plots" by Travis Mayweather

So...[quote:post_uid0]WAAAAAAAAAAAH! OPIUM HAS AGAIN DOUBLE-POSTED WITH ME! (urge to put 47 exclamation points..self-preservation instinct preventing it![/quote:post_uid0] You have discoved my plan! To make you post 47 exclamation points! Now I must come up with another plan! :p[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-24-2004, 01:50 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Day 396: Made NAHT's sig. V. good. Have decided that NAHT now new best friend. Must remember to send cookies.[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

03-24-2004, 01:56 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]^ :lol:

[quote:post_uid0]7. Chakotay: "A fable detailing the journeys of a fox and a scorpion en route to the river."
Â Janeway: "Statement containing the words "bite" and "me"."

8. Archer: "Stupid suggestion aimed at exploring the, like, the biggest comet ever."
Â T`Pol: "Detection of illogic."
Â Trip: "Lack of understanding of the word "illogic"."
Â T`Pol: "Detection of two morons."

6. Spock: "Awareness of the explosion of Praxis. Indication of the imminent death of Klingons."
Â Kirk: "Indication of yippee!"
Â Spock: "Plagiarized Vulcan proverb."[/quote:post_uid0]
:lol:

I like your new avatar, Arzosah :)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-25-2004, 01:45 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Top 10 Voyager Episodes Dropped Because of Controversy[/b:post_uid0]
if anyone wants to take it and cant find a list they want to write from the "Top Ten Lists that should Never be Made" list.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke

03-25-2004, 03:04 AM

[quote:post_uid0="MaverickZer0"][color=#000000:post_uid0]*shakes Nintelligent.net* Damn you for looking so official. And all I wanted was a good quality Zero.exe piccie!

I see now. It's about as official as FanFiction.net. Damn that place anyways.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Don't worry about it. Lots of people have this theory, and there's some merit to it (Bass and Zero do have similarities) -- it's just not official by any stretch of the imagination. So far the only direct connection Capcom has made between the original and X series is that X was built by Dr. Light and Zero by Dr. Wily. Everything else is speculation.

By the way, if you like Bass, you're going to see more of him at 5MV soon. I've decided to do the Mega Man & Bass fiver next. (What do you think of the MM fivers I've done so far, btw? I've never heard what an actual Mega Man fan thinks of them.)[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke

03-26-2004, 05:41 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Holy cow. Did I just kill the Top Ten Lists thread?[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-26-2004, 06:06 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yes you did. The only way to fix it is for you to write one! :)[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-26-2004, 06:27 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I think everyone's too scared to do "Phlox's Top Ten Bodily Anomalies." :shudder: :)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-26-2004, 09:22 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, I did suggest an alternative:
Top 10 Voyager Episodes Dropped Because of Controversy[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

03-26-2004, 12:43 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]And then there are
Top Ten Erotic Fantasies Involving Neelix,
Top Ten Things Found Under the Bed in Jake's Room,
Top Ten Off-Color Joe Piscopo Jokes Cut From "The Outrageous Okona" and
The Obsessive Trekker's Top Ten Ways in Which TOS Constitutes a Serious and Compelling Social Document Reflecting Profoundly on Our Culture and Our Times.

:p[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-27-2004, 01:55 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Scooter, have you forgotten about the tradition of you resurrecting the Top 10 List thread and me sending you cookies? :D[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-27-2004, 05:12 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Can't resist cookies. Here goes (with apologies in advance):

Top Ten Off-Color Joe Piscopo Jokes Cut From "The Outrageous Okona"

10. How many Ferengi does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three—one to sell the light-bulb-screwing-in franchise, one to sell the actual light bulb, and one to lease access to the socket.

9. A robot walks into a bar. He orders a scotch and fire extinguisher.

8. A Pakled was on his first visit to the big space station. Passing by the transporter chamber, he sees a big ugly Klingon warrior beam out; a few seconds later a beautiful Deltan female beams in. The Pakled scratches his head and says, "Sure wish I'd brought the wife!"

7. A Vulcan died and was startled to find he was surrounded by millions of annoying, laughing, illogical Earthlings. Unable to take it for more than a few minutes, he sought out St. Peter and said, "Something went wrong. I've been sent to Earth heaven by mistake." St. Peter laughed and said, "Buddy, this isn't Earth heaven—this is Vulcan hell!"

6. How many nanites does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, same as anywhere else.

5. There are 10 types of people in the galaxy—those who understand binary, and those who don't.

4. I once served with a guy who was so dumb, he thought "life support" was a help desk for screw-ups.

3. My wife is the exact opposite of a Vulcan. She thinks about nothing but sex and she has logic once every seven years.

2. How many Children of Tama does it take to screw in a light bulb? Mimba, his finger extended.

And the Number One Off-Color Joe Piscopo Joke Cut From "The Outrageous Okona":

1. A Bolian walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, why so blue?"

I'm here all week. Try the veal![/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-27-2004, 05:18 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]10. Top Ten Secrets of Sa'ar's Love Life [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]
9. Phlox's Top Ten Bodily Anomalies [b:post_uid0]Oh No![/b:post_uid0]
8. Top Ten Erotic Fantasies Involving Neelix [b:post_uid0]Please Don't[/b:post_uid0]
7. Top Ten Deaths of John [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0] (Twice)
6. Top Ten Most Romantic C/7 Moments [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]
5. Top Ten Ways to Bring Back Dr. Pulaski [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]
4. Top Ten Things Found Under the Bed in Jake's Room [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]
3. Top Ten Off-Color Joe Piscopo Jokes Cut From "The Outrageous Okona" [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]
2. The Obsessive Trekker's Top Ten Ways in Which TOS Constitutes a Serious and Compelling Social Document Reflecting Profoundly on Our Culture and Our Times
1. Top Ten Topic Title Threads [b:post_uid0]Done[/b:post_uid0]

Only the three most terrifying titles left! :)
Also good: Opium's Top 10 Voyager Episodes Dropped Because of Controversy[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-27-2004, 01:06 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Phlox's Top Ten Bodily Anomalies

10. His hair is actually a bunch of frozen noodles covered with paint and transparent finish.
9. He doesn't really smile like that, but reality-bending CGI is all the rage on Denobula.
8. He's a sentient plant, and no, he doesn't know what the frell you're complaing about.
7. His toenails grow back into his feet, and he has to cement new material onto them every two weeks.
6. He only has a semi-colon.
5. Denobulans don't sleep, period, but Phlox just needs to get away from those awful humans a few days every year.
4. He's got a third, detachable arm that he keeps in a cage, but nobody has noticed it yet.
3. He has eyes in the back of his skull. The crew learned not to mouth off behind his back during the first annual physical.
2. He's a lithovore - all the humanoid food is merely an appetizer for all those delicious rocks he steals from the geological survey teams.

And the number one Bodily Anomaly of Doctor Phlox is:

1. His enormous...neck ridges.

Hm, it's not all that funny, but I guess anything else would be tapdancing over a minefield. Without Romulans.

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-27-2004, 07:32 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]I'm here all week. Try the veal! [/quote:post_uid0]

Hilarity ensures. It's a trap! Your targ wants gagh.[/color:post_uid0]

MaverickZer0

03-27-2004, 08:49 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="MaverickZer0"]*shakes Nintelligent.net* Damn you for looking so official. And all I wanted was a good quality Zero.exe piccie!

I see now. It's about as official as FanFiction.net. Damn that place anyways.[/quote:post_uid0]
Don't worry about it. Â Lots of people have this theory, and there's some merit to it (Bass and Zero do have similarities) -- it's just not official by any stretch of the imagination. Â So far the only direct connection Capcom has made between the original and X series is that X was built by Dr. Light and Zero by Dr. Wily. Â Everything else is speculation.

By the way, if you like Bass, you're going to see more of him at 5MV soon. Â I've decided to do the Mega Man & Bass fiver next. (What do you think of the MM fivers I've done so far, btw? Â I've never heard what an actual Mega Man fan thinks of them.)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Yeah...the only reason I keep trying to make connections is the Zero looks a lot like Proto and has a similar attitude to Bass.

MegaMan and Bass fiver? Kewl.

The MM fivers are great. I've been working on clearing BN...(as much as it gets repetitous, and as Pokemon-y (shudder) as it is, it's still MM) and I wonder, will there be any fivers for that? Mind you, they sometimes make fun of themselves...[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke

03-27-2004, 10:03 PM

[quote:post_uid0="MaverickZer0"][color=#000000:post_uid0]The MM fivers are great. I've been working on clearing BN...(as much as it gets repetitous, and as Pokemon-y (shudder) as it is, it's still MM) and I wonder, will there be any fivers for that?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Definitely. I recently became a big Battle Network fan (I'm nearly done the second game), and sometimes fiver scenes occur to me while I'm playing. Battle Network is the only Mega Man fiver I've actually had a request for -- Michiel asked about it. So it may be appearing sooner than I originally planned. (My original plan was to go in chronological order, so the classic series, then X, then Zero, then maybe Legends, then BN.)

However, I'm behind on about a zillion site things, so we're definitely talking my version of "soon" here.[/color:post_uid0]

AKAArzosah

03-28-2004, 06:41 AM

[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I like your new avatar, Arzosah :)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Thankyou :D
It is, of course, from Andromeda! ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-29-2004, 08:08 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Erotic Fantasies Involving Neelix

10.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
9.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
8.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
7.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
6.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
5.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
4.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
3.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
2.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
1.After getting incredible plastic-surgery to look like Brad Pitt, Neelix stars in "Troy:The Olympiad Version".

Which leaves....

The Obsessive Trekker's Top Ten Ways in Which TOS Constitutes a Serious and Compelling Social Document Reflecting Profoundly on Our Culture and Our Times

OR...
Opium's Top 10 Voyager Episodes Dropped Because of Controversy[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-29-2004, 08:47 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]::gnashes teeth at lack of time to write list::

Must... revive... thread...

:D[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-29-2004, 11:42 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Opium"]Top Ten Erotic Fantasies Involving Neelix

10.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
9.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
8.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
7.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
6.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
5.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
4.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
3.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
2.*entry deleted by scary-image police*
1.After getting incredible plastic-surgery to look like Brad Pitt, Neelix stars in "Troy:The Olympiad Version".[/quote:post_uid0]

Dude! You could have put the plastic-surgery item as number 10 and then written NINE other fantasies involving Brad Pitt doppelgangers!

What is [i:post_uid0]wrong[/i:post_uid0] with you?[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-29-2004, 12:00 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]But...nine top erotic fantasies involving a Brad Pitt doppelganger? I can hardly pin it down to a Top Fifty :D

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-29-2004, 01:03 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Gatac"][color=#000000:post_uid0]But...nine top erotic fantasies involving a Brad Pitt doppelganger? I can hardly pin it down to a Top Fifty :D

Gatac[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Especially as you have the long-haired Brad Pitt from "Legends of the Fall", player Brad from "Oceans Eleven", crazy Brad from "12 Monkeys", young boy-toy Brad from "Thelma and Louise", street cred Brad from "Fight Club"...

Not that I pay attention or anything... :)[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-30-2004, 03:33 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]The Obsessive Trekker's Top Ten Ways in Which TOS Constitutes a Serious and Compelling Social Document Reflecting Profoundly on Our Culture and Our Times

10. As the first U.S. TV show to feature an interracial kiss, TOS was in the forefront of establishing the preeminence of sex in American society, to the exclusion of all other concerns

9. The prominent role played by Southern country doctor Leonard McCoy emphasized that even bumpkins can make their mark on space, and paved the way for later, highly nuanced Southern sci-fi characters like Trip Tucker

8. TOS's heterogeneous, multi-ethnic crew proved once and for all that it is possible for people of different kinds to get along and work together for the common good, as long as it's in a completely artificial, pie-in-the-sky sci-fi fantasy future where everybody gets along and works together

7. Captain Kirk's developing tummy made it possible for millions of impressionable to children to be comfortable in later life with their own McDonald's-induced spare tire

6. In proud defiance of the stodgy networks, Star Trek dared to broach the cutting edge of the hippie music scene, certain that this classic art form would endure into the 23rd century and beyond

5. Kirk taught millions of young men the valuable and useful skill of grabbing women by the shoulders and kissing without tongue

4. Thanks to "The Immunity Factor," it's a little easier for all of us to deal with the obsessive antimatter alter egos we all carry around inside

3. Both government and corporate executives have long known the value of having two subordinates express diametrically opposed viewpoints, then ignoring them both completely

2. I think it goes without saying that if we were transported back to Tombstone, Arizona and forced to participate in the gunfight at the O.K. Corral, each of us would behave exactly as the officers of the Enterprise did

And the Obsessive Trekker's Number One Way in Which TOS Constitutes a Serious and Compelling Social Document Reflecting Profoundly on Our Culture and Our Times:

1. Kirk's stubborn adherence to his bigoted beliefs about Klingons, which he took to the grave in defiance of radical shifts in reality rendering his beliefs antiquated and dangerously out of touch, is recognized everywhere as the very essence of the American attitude toward the rest of the world[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-30-2004, 03:46 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Okay, okay...

Top Ten Erotic Fantasies Involving Neelix

10.After getting incredible plastic-surgery to look like Brad Pitt, Neelix stars in "Troy:The Olympiad Version".
9.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
8.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
7.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
6.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
5.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
4.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
3.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
2.*deleted because of its NC17 rating*
1. While shooting sexy film scene with Brad Pittalike, a TV flat falls on him, and his face reverts back to Neelix. You then say, "ACK! THIS DUDE IS NEELIX!" and run away.

*stagecraft fact: It would have to be TV flat, as they are usually heavier than stage flats. Flats are peices of scenery which mimic walls...*

Top 10 Voyager Episodes Dropped Because of Controversy[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-30-2004, 06:26 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]SCOOTER!

Deep apologies for the belated cookies! Their plane was diverted.

[img:post_uid0]http://www.kras.hr/aslike/brandovi/ms21.gif[/img:post_uid0]

They`re with butter, :D :D[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-30-2004, 06:40 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Scooter"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Especially as you have the long-haired Brad Pitt from "Legends of the Fall", player Brad from "Oceans Eleven", crazy Brad from "12 Monkeys", young boy-toy Brad from "Thelma and Louise", street cred Brad from "Fight Club"...

Not that I pay attention or anything... :)[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oo, don`t forget the Achilles Brad in skimpy Greek warrior outfit from the "Troy" trailer, :D[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-30-2004, 07:31 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0]SCOOTER!

Deep apologies for the belated cookies! Their plane was diverted.

They`re with butter, :D :D[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]mmmmm, cookies and butter.....[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

03-30-2004, 11:20 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Scooter"]Especially as you have the long-haired Brad Pitt from "Legends of the Fall", player Brad from "Oceans Eleven", crazy Brad from "12 Monkeys", young boy-toy Brad from "Thelma and Louise", street cred Brad from "Fight Club"...

Not that I pay attention or anything... :)[/quote:post_uid0]
Oo, don`t forget the Achilles Brad in skimpy Greek warrior outfit from the "Troy" trailer, :D[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Heh. You're SO going to love what's coming in the mail the next letter up. :D

Oh yes, next top 10:

[b:post_uid0]Top Ten Voyager Episodes Dropped Because Of Controversy[/b:post_uid0]

I'm not much good at this, so I'll pass.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-30-2004, 11:28 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Ooo, a Brad Pitt fantasy that was deleted for NC17 rating, but in an pg13 form...

Brad Pitt+Orlando Bloom plus (I guess for the middle-agers) Sean Bean in Troy...I think that takes up at least
3guys x 3.5Bpeople x (what, about 140 minutes?) =
A LOT OF FANTASIES :p[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-30-2004, 11:45 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Sean Bean? Man, if he survives this movie, I'm getting drunk just on principle.

Also not touching that next list with a twelve feet pole. Besides, I already did it for DS9.

Gatac

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch Ronin, Equilibrium and James Bond - Goldeneye. Sean Bean *always* gets shafted or killed.)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-30-2004, 11:48 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]So he's a named redshirt? The richest redshirt of them all? Hmm. Interesting.[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-30-2004, 12:08 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Indeed.

In Equilibrium, Bean plays a cop in a future where emotions and art are forbidden. He gets killed by his own partner in an abandoned church because he refuses to lay down a book of poems by William Butler Yeats. (OK, reaching for his weapon may have been a good secondary reason...)

In Ronin, he's one of the mercs who apparently doesn't know jack. (Leading to DeNiro's hilarious scene with "I just ambushed you with a cup of coffee.") He doesn't get killed, but gets booted out of the team and ridiculed.

In Goldeneye, he's 006, a secret agent gone bad. While I don't recall the film's ending, I'm pretty sure Bond creams him.

And those three are just from the top of my head.

*yank* (pulls thread back on topic)

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

03-30-2004, 12:14 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Heh... I really had the feeling he would play Hector, which would mean violent death. But no, he`ll play Odysseus... he won`t just survive, he`ll jump around the Greek islets for the next 10 years, :D[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-30-2004, 01:21 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Voyager Episodes Dropped Because Of Controversy

10. [i:post_uid0]Voyager[/i:post_uid0] comes to the aid of a staunch Rebellion, whose only weapon against the evil alien empire that holds them is a mysterious power known as the Force
9. Borg evolve into fluffy, bunny-like creatures; discovery that war, assimilation, mass genocide all just one big misunderstanding
8. In a shocking, surprising plot twist, Seven of Nine suffers from Pon' Farr
7. Entire episode devoted to Barclay stalking Counsellor Deanna Troi; concluding with Janeway and crew hearing outcome and reflecting on the injustice of restraining orders
6. Janeway makes reference long-ago Captain "Jonathon Archer," episode cancelled to maintain continuity
5. The ship's replicators malfunction, and lack of caffiene sends Janeway on a murderous rampage through the crewmembers; protested on the grounds that episode dwells only on the negetive aspects of coffee, failure to present fair and balanced viewpoint
4. Harry Kim discovers way to get [i:post_uid0]Voyager[/i:post_uid0] back to Earth, but it'll only work if everybody on Earth "sends us lots and lots of money. Write it down, kids: Paramount Studios, PO Box 7223,..."
3. "VoyagerLIVE!" special, in which voters affect the outcome of the episode, cancelled after Chakotay dumped in nitric acid for sixth time
2. Original series finale followed gradual realization of the hopelessness of ever getting back home, climaxing in entire crew's mass suicide
1. For good of entire Delta Quadrant, [i:post_uid0]Voyager[/i:post_uid0] is forced to horribly destroy entire planet of Trekkies asking for Jeri Ryan autographs

Next up:
Top Ten Big Surprises in Store for Kids in Harry Potter #6[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

03-30-2004, 01:34 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]BTW, great list, Scooter... I especially liked, um, this half: :D

[quote:post_uid0]10. As the first U.S. TV show to feature an interracial kiss, TOS was in the forefront of establishing the preeminence of sex in American society, to the exclusion of all other concerns

8. TOSÂ’s heterogeneous, multi-ethnic crew proved once and for all that it is possible for people of different kinds to get along and work together for the common good, as long as itÂ’s in a completely artificial, pie-in-the-sky sci-fi fantasy future where everybody gets along and works together

3. Both government and corporate executives have long known the value of having two subordinates express diametrically opposed viewpoints, then ignoring them both completely

2. I think it goes without saying that if we were transported back to Tombstone, Arizona and forced to participate in the gunfight at the O.K. Corral, each of us would behave exactly as the officers of the Enterprise did
[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-30-2004, 03:18 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0](If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch Ronin, Equilibrium and James Bond - Goldeneye. Sean Bean *always* gets shafted or killed.)[/quote:post_uid0]

Except in the Sharpe series, where he's the main character. He takes more damage than Arnold and still manages to get promoted at the end.[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-30-2004, 04:51 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Well, yeah. But may I remind you who dies in Fellowship of the Ring? Boromir sure looks a lot like Sean Bean, doesn't he?

And, by contrast, how often have you seen Arnie die? I count once in End of Days, and he was up against the freakin' devil.

Don't deny it, Sean Bean gets typecast as tragic corpse quite a lot. :)

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-30-2004, 06:25 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]New list:

Top Ten Actors Who Die On Star Trek And Then Come Back As Another Character.[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-31-2004, 12:03 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Gatac"][color=#000000:post_uid0]And, by contrast, how often have you seen Arnie die? I count once in End of Days, and he was up against the freakin' devil.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Um, doesn't the Terminator die, several times? He keeps having to come back as a different model...[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-31-2004, 12:05 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000:post_uid0]BTW, great list, Scooter... I especially liked, um, this half: :D[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Thanks -- great list to you too! :)
[quote:post_uid0]3. "VoyagerLIVE!" special, in which voters affect the outcome of the episode, cancelled after Chakotay dumped in nitric acid for sixth time
[/quote:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-31-2004, 12:40 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Damn, Scooter, you got me there. Arnie dies in each and every one of the Terminator movies, but I if those movies show anything it's that he's no pushover. Besides, he was a killer robot every time, which paradoxically seems to make him weaker - I still stand by my claim that End of Days is the only time he died playing a human character. You might get more semantic and say that the Terminator units were destroyed, not killed.

Sean Bean, on the other hand? He simply bites it. Boromir, Alec, Partridge...and Spence, who probably wished he was dead instead of losing his job *that* way. The point is, he's a redshirt, sacrificed for the greater good of the plot. And none of those characters ever stood a chance, either. Boromir? Screwing with hobbits gets you no sympathy points. Alec? Man, he's up against James Bond. Hope your life insurance is paid up, buddy. Partridge? That guy actively sacrificed himself to prove a point, and let's face it, Christian Bale opened up a major can of kick-keister on pretty much everybody. He kills a dozen cops to save a dog! For one of the few guys who is actually supposed to feel something, Cleric Preston racks up a pretty impressive bodycount. And Spence - he was just plain stupid. Yeah, let's put two snipers directly opposite each other. Friendly fire ain't friendly, man.

*ahem* Concluding, I believe it's fair to say that Sean Bean is perhaps the most high-profile redshirt I've seen. And I hope that settles it, wouldn't want to clutter up this thread any more. :)

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

03-31-2004, 02:33 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Big Surprises in Store for Kids in Harry Potter #6

10. Harry Potter grows up and marries Mary-Sue
9. 16 year old Harry Potter decides he wants a "Sweet 16" party, complete with his own pink dress.
8. Ron and Hermione declare their love for each other; Harry becomes evil but fails miserably.
7. Ron and Hermione declare their love for Harry; Harry becomes confused and declares his love for Professor Minerva McGonagall .
6. 7 and 8 do not contridict each other.
5. Revealed that Snape's rudeness is due to lack of girlfriend; he then meets Aunt Petunia and the fall in love; Snape is devastated to learn she isnt into "magic".
4. Dumbledore realizes that the Pheonix is really a pink fluffy bunny of DOOM.
3. Tonks turns out to be Mary Poppins.
2. Hagrid's father was a Klingon!
1. Sirius Black dies and comes back and dies and comes back and dies and comes back... J.K. Rowling says she based him on some person named "John"

And Sa'ar suggested:
Top Ten Actors Who Die On Star Trek And Then Come Back As Another Character[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-31-2004, 04:57 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Gatac"][color=#000000:post_uid0]I still stand by my claim that End of Days is the only time he died playing a human character.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hmmm... how about Batman & Robin? Mr. Freeze started out human, anyway... :)[/color:post_uid0]

Nan

03-31-2004, 05:28 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Scooter"]how about Batman & Robin?[/quote:post_uid0]
Hiss! Do not speak its [i:post_uid0]naaaaaaaaame![/i:post_uid0]

Not only did they make a crappy Batman movie, they cast the Governator as one of my favourite Batman villains!

It's hard to make Bruce Wayne a nebbish when you've cast George Clooney as him, yet somehow they [i:post_uid0]did.[/i:post_uid0]

And Batgirl wasn't Barbara Gordon. AND she wasn't a redhead.

(That's your Pavlovian cue, Sa'ar.)

To summarize: Damn you, Joel Schumacher! And why, Akiva Goldsman, why?

/fangirl[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

03-31-2004, 05:59 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oops. Clearly I pressed "play" :)[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

03-31-2004, 09:00 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]*shudders as images flood his brain*

Dr. Freeze didn't die...he ended up in Arkham Asylum again.

Of course, all of that didn't really happen, it's just a massive delusion we'd all rather forget.

Gatac

(But that rumor I heard about Christian Bale being the next Batman? Yes, please, hit me with it! Oh, that feels so good :) )[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

03-31-2004, 05:24 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]And Batgirl wasn't Barbara Gordon. AND she wasn't a redhead.

(That's your Pavlovian cue, Sa'ar.)[/quote:post_uid0]

*perk* Redhead? *drool*[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

04-01-2004, 01:22 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]::pats Sa'ar doggy::[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-01-2004, 10:54 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Top Ten Actors Who Die On Star Trek And Then Come Back As Another Character. [/quote:post_uid0]

You mean real actors, or something like this:

10. Julia Roberts plays DaiMon Bok, a Ferengi obsessed with killing Picard. After she dies in "Bloodlines", she returns to play chief Hirogen hunter in "The Killing Game".

? :D[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

04-02-2004, 12:17 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Suit yourself.

There have been cases involving real actors - none spring to mind, but there were enough to cause some fans to form a protest group against the practice. They called themselves Trekkers Against Recurring Death Immunity Syndrome (TARDIS, for short).[/color:post_uid0]

Naki

04-04-2004, 09:56 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]oh i think i've herd about TARDIS (or was that Re-Tardis)[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-07-2004, 07:46 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Top Ten Actors Who Die On Star Trek And Then Come Back As Another Character. [/quote:post_uid0]

This is too strange. Sa`ar, you killed the Top 10 thread! Make another suggestion, now! :D[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

04-07-2004, 09:49 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I was gonna say. Can we either pick another topic, or at least get an example of what this list's supposed to be like? I'm not coming up with anything remotely funny (not to speak of the fact that the only recurring actors that pop up spontaneously are Crosby, Combs, and maybe Brent Spiner if you count B4).[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

04-07-2004, 01:57 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I concur; I don't even know what he's asking for in the first place here!

Hmmm. If nobody minds:

[b:post_uid0]Top Ten Ugly Incidents on Enterprise Involving Nudity[/b:post_uid0]

There, should be fodder enough for several!

[And [i:post_uid0]no[/i:post_uid0], writing "Phlox streaks through the Officer's Mess!" ten times does NOT count.][/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

04-07-2004, 02:10 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Ugly Incidents on Enterprise Involving Nudity

10. Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm have a row over how to pronounce "nudity".

9. One of the MACOs finds out the hard way that his body cannot distinguish between that decon gel stuff and poison ivy.

8. Phlox's decon videos are uncovered when a crewmember grabs one for Movie Night, having mistaken the cassette for the ship's copy of [i:post_uid0]It's a Wonderful Life[/i:post_uid0].

7. Phlox confines himself to sickbay for several weeks afterwards while his broken bones heal. The dents in his flesh where shoulder meets neck never quite disappear however.

Someone else may continue. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Hotaru

04-07-2004, 02:18 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]6. At first contact, aliens informed Archer that they find clothing offensive. They promptly changed their minds when they saw Phlox.

5. When the ship came under attack during one of Trip and T'pol's "neuropressure sessions", T'pol decided the only logical thing to do was to go to the bridge.

4. There is a transporter accident while beaming Archer up, and he is beamed directly to the bridge, naked. Without realising his nudity, he takes command.

I need to go to school. Someone else can finish.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

04-08-2004, 07:42 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]3. The Enterprise meets a race of aliens who believe clothing are for wusses; with the First Contact aired all over Earth, the bridge crew and Phlox must meet them in a sauna. Nude, as is the alien's tradition.
2. Phlox declares there is a virus which is transmitted through clothing; everyone must wear see-through seran-wrap for 10 days.
1. In a transporter incident, Richard Hash is transported to the Enterprise, without the clurry circle.

Top Ten Wierd Conflicts that would develop between DS9 and Enterprise crew[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

04-08-2004, 04:11 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Top Ten Wierd Conflicts that would develop between DS9 and Enterprise crew [/b:post_uid0]

10. Travis cries bloody rebellion when he finds he doesn't have as many lines as Morn.
9. [i:post_uid0]Enterprise[/i:post_uid0] crewmembers go ape over replicator technology and seize them all. By sheer coincidence, Sisko simultaneously kidnaps Chef, envious of homemade food.
8. Sisko refuses to let T'Pol aboard station, after all the strings he had to pull in order to [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] be stuck with a Vulcan science officer like everybody else.
7. Violent debate ensues over whether Founder or Suliban shapeshifting SFX are cooler.
6. Archer invites Sisko to a game, and is surprised and angered when Sisko shows up for water polo with a baseball bat. However, all is soon back to normal, as Sisko uses bat to beat Archer up.
5. To Bashir's frustration, his coy advances towards Hoshi are unnoticed, as [i:post_uid0]Enterprise[/i:post_uid0] crewmembers unable to conceive of relationship not based on blatant innuendo and repeated partial nudity.
4. Reed discovers that Prophets actually quite capable of giving simple, straightforward answers, if only one is persistant enough in one's threats to blow up wormhole.
3. Upon learning of [i:post_uid0]Enterprise[/i:post_uid0] crew's apprehension regarding transporters, easily amused DS9 crew torment them by beaming them to and fro in a random fashion, accompanied by appropriate sound effects.
2. After suffering through endless DS9 angst for over a week, Reed gets bored, steals [i:post_uid0]Defiant[/i:post_uid0] single-handedly whups the entire Dominion, then comes back to gloat.
1. Already having no presence other than piloting skills, once aboard DS9, Travis spontaneously winks out of existance. Nobody notices.

[b:post_uid0]Next:[/b:post_uid0] Top Ten Federation National Holidays[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-09-2004, 05:58 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Standback"]9. [i:post_uid0]Enterprise[/i:post_uid0] crewmembers go ape over replicator technology and seize them all. By sheer coincidence, Sisko simultaneously kidnaps Chef, envious of homemade food.

8. Sisko refuses to let T'Pol aboard station, after all the strings he had to pull in order to [i:post_uid0]not[/i:post_uid0] be stuck with a Vulcan science officer like everybody else.

6. Archer invites Sisko to a game, and is surprised and angered when Sisko shows up for water polo with a baseball bat. However, all is soon back to normal, as Sisko uses bat to beat Archer up.

5. To Bashir's frustration, his coy advances towards Hoshi are unnoticed, as [i:post_uid0]Enterprise[/i:post_uid0] crewmembers unable to conceive of relationship not based on blatant innuendo and repeated partial nudity.

3. Upon learning of [i:post_uid0]Enterprise[/i:post_uid0] crew's apprehension regarding transporters, easily amused DS9 crew torment them by beaming them to and fro in a random fashion, accompanied by appropriate sound effects.

1. Already having no presence other than piloting skills, once aboard DS9, Travis spontaneously winks out of existance. Nobody notices.

[b:post_uid0]Next:[/b:post_uid0] Top Ten Federation National Holidays[/quote:post_uid0]
:D :D :D :D :D :D

It`s not enough that I read Sa`ar`s LJ 14 times a day while laughing like crazy, now this List comes along and I almost get a heart attack, :D H I L A R I O U S!

Ahem:
(I`m SO sure Opium is preparing to double-post with me right now) :D

10. Pie Day - To celebrate the unity and solidarity among humans, the human citizens of the Federation on this day take big, moisty pies and throw them forcefully at the faces of innocent alien citizens of the Federation. Emergency rooms work overtime.

9. April Fools - In honour of an ancient Earth website "Five Minute Voyager", April Fools is celebrated for one whole week, or longer, with all other life activities being completely discontinued during that week.

8. Zephram Cochrane Day - The only day when it is legal in the Federation for all citizens to ingest real alcohol and Romulan ale and get violently drunk.

7. Live Journal Day - Celebrating the day when all 60 billion of the Federation citizens got themselves their LJs. :p

6. The Everlasting Happiness Day - The Day When They Abolished Baseball

5. The Everlasting Happiness Day Only More So - Similarly, The Day When They Abolished Soccer

4. The Continuity Day - Celebration of one of Starfleet`s most glorious military victories, when Archer and the Romulans defeated the Xindi-Dominion-Kazon alliance.

3. The Human-Vulcan Friendship Day - When T`Pol addressed the population of Earth off the balcony, Evita-style, and exclaimed: "I got used to the smell now."

2. The Conquest Day - Explaining why Picard has a French*** accent, it`s the celebration of 16 August 2107, when Great Britain invaded and occupied France.

and No.1 Federation National Holiday:

1. Comrade Lenin Day - When money and market economy got abolished and the newly formed Federation adopted Communism.

NEXT - Top 10 TOS/Voyager Crossover Episodes

***Edit (two days later) - British accent! British, dammit! ::thwaps forehead::[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

04-09-2004, 09:12 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][i:post_uid0]"Don't cry for me you dumb Terrans . . .

My nose is all stuffed up . . .[color=gray:post_uid0]stupid pollen[/color:post_uid0]. . ."[/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

mudshark

04-09-2004, 10:21 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0]2. The Conquest Day - Explaining why Picard has a French accent, it`s the celebration of 16 August 2107, when Great Britain invaded and occupied France.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Or La Barre is really in Yorkshire. ;)[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

04-09-2004, 10:30 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Top Ten Actors Who Die On Star Trek And Then Come Back As Another Character. [/quote:post_uid0]

This is too strange. Sa`ar, you killed the Top 10 thread! Make another suggestion, now! :D[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hilarious. I was thinking about this impossible topic and I actually came up with an angle to do it with, only y'all finally moved on and [i:post_uid0]now you'll never know![/i:post_uid0] BWHAHAHAHA! :)[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

04-09-2004, 10:59 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Why, you can still do it! Nic'll send you cookies. :D[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

04-10-2004, 06:10 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Actors Who Died On Star Trek And Then Came Back As Another Character

[i:post_uid0]EDITORÂ’S NOTE: 5MV spies nestled deep inside Paramount have discovered that the next new Star Trek series is already in development to replace [u:post_uid0]Enterprise[/u:post_uid0], as soon as viewers get fed up with it and/or [u:post_uid0]Enterprise[/u:post_uid0] limps its way through to a pointless seventh season, whichever comes first. The showÂ’s working title is [u:post_uid0]Star Trek: The Umpteenth Iteration[/u:post_uid0] and will initially feature the crew of the [u:post_uid0]U.S.S. Enterprise-AA[/u:post_uid0] (Â“initiallyÂ” because the ship will be blown up and replaced with the next model twice a year, during the network sweeps period) as they cruise through a galaxy that has been completely assimilated by the original Borg but then reconquered by the Klingon-Borg, who are locked in a deadly war with the Changeling-Borg allied with the Xindi-Borg, but are further troubled by a rebellion among the Ewok-Borg of Endor. Our heroes, the only surviving non-Borgified humanoids, fight a pointless battle to retain their anachronistic humanity against insuperable odds.[/i:post_uid0]

[i:post_uid0]While the project is extremely hush-hush, our spies at Paramount, cleverly employing the happy-go-lucky trained ferrets from [u:post_uid0]Beastmaster[/u:post_uid0] (no, the movie versionÂ—Marc Singer owed us a favor), were able to smuggle out the following fascinating character outlines along with the provocative preliminary casting. Amazingly enough, thanks to an anti-Berman/Braga coup resulting from the vicious internal politicking at the Star Trek division of Paramount, the [u:post_uid0]Enterprise-AA[/u:post_uid0] is crewed entirely by actors who were killed off by the original Star Trek powers-that-be. How about that?[/i:post_uid0]

[b:post_uid0]10. William Windom[/b:post_uid0] (Decker) Â– It turns out that DeckerÂ’s Â“engramsÂ” were extracted prior to the events in Â“The Doomsday Machine,Â” and preserved in freezer at the Grand Central Terminal Starbucks location until well into the 28th century, when they were accidentally installed in a robot that looks just like him. Robo-Decker is still crazy, though, and has to be relieved of command every week, but in a different way. In the pilot episode, Decker takes command only to have the shipÂ’s resident monkey pee into his Â“negatronic brain,Â” resulting in the cyborg CommodoreÂ’s hilarious inability to avoid propositioning all the female crewmen in broken Klingon.

[b:post_uid0]9. Neal McDonough[/b:post_uid0] (Hawk) Â– Cast as the shipÂ’s first ally, the King of Planet X-Pendable, where everybody wears crimson tunics. During the first five minutes of the pilot episode, the planet suffers a sudden gratuitous total existence failure and explodes. (Apologies to Douglas Adams.)

[b:post_uid0]8. Terry Ferrell[/b:post_uid0] (Jadzia) Â– Cast as the uptight holographic bartender, Ditz. Spends most of her time complaining and making coffee for the cybernetic version of Commodore Decker, whose name she continually mispronounces. When in a special episode the timelines are crossed and everybody grows a second head, sheÂ’s the only one who realizes somethingÂ’s changed. Too bad she doesnÂ’t care.

[b:post_uid0]7. Denise Crosby[/b:post_uid0] (Tasha) Â– Plays the shipÂ’s Medical Officer, Dr. Rhea Animator. Her tag line: Â“HeÂ’s dead, CaptainÂ—but not for long!Â”

[b:post_uid0]6. Persis Khambatta[/b:post_uid0] (Ilia) Â– Cast as the shipÂ’s Deltan Â“physical therapist,Â” Ilaya. She specializes in Â“body workÂ” and Â“massage.Â” Rumored to have a notorious mother (Majel Roddenberry), who might be encountered during sweeps.

[b:post_uid0]5. William Shatner[/b:post_uid0] (Kirk) Â– Plays the voice of the shipÂ’s computer. The constant delays between words and sentences are explained by the fact that the shipÂ’s computerÂ’s hard drive is heavily fragmented. Shatner is replaced by Robert Picardo after Engineering is finally able to run Norton Utilities, but the result is so annoying that the Shatner version is restored from backups.

[b:post_uid0]4. Suzie Plakson[/b:post_uid0] (K'Ehleyr) Â– Plays the shipÂ’s first commander, the glamorous Captain Java JanewayÂ—the descendant of the famous admiral and her eventual life partner, Alexander Rozhenko. Though dashing and valorous, she is forced to resign thanks to the countless temporal anomalies that spontaneously occur around her wherever she goes. (Eventually she parlays this into a very successful theme park, Java JanewayÂ’s Temporal Fun Directive and Water World.)

[b:post_uid0]3. Ricardo Montalban[/b:post_uid0] (Khan) Â– Plays the gnarled, veteran, and forgetful old Chief Engineer, Commander Ken Noodleman Singer. Tag line: Â“I donÂ’t know you, but youÂ—who are you again?Â” Is constantly annoyed that people think he invents robots.

[b:post_uid0]2. Leonard Nimoy[/b:post_uid0] (Spock) & [b:post_uid0]Brent Spiner[/b:post_uid0] (Data) Â– Because of their special status as Â“killed off yet magically retained within the franchise in slight variations on their original characters,Â” these actors were not allowed roles on [i:post_uid0]The Enterprise-AA.[/i:post_uid0] Instead, they are required to play Orion slave women, who are recurring characters in Robo-DeckerÂ’s favorite holodeck program. Spiner proves to have a knack for the role, and Nimoy is eventually phased out, but not before he writes a book titled [i:post_uid0]I Am Not an Orion Slave Girl[/i:post_uid0] (worldwide sales: $1.6 million).

And the Number One Actor Who Died On Star Trek And Then Came Back As Another Character:

[b:post_uid0]1. Merritt Butrick[/b:post_uid0] (David Marcus) Â– Cast as the successor to Captain Java Janeway, the dashing young Captain John Gax. Dies every week, but is always successfully revived for each new episode by the chief medical officer. Tag line: Â“Uh oh.Â”

Now we can move on with a clear conscience, knowing that no Top Ten Topic was ever left to languish and die, unloved and unfulfilled. Truly, a moment to rejoice and be glad. Â :D[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

04-10-2004, 07:33 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]7. Denise Crosby (Tasha) Â– Plays the shipÂ’s Medical Officer, Dr. Rhea Animator. Her tag line: Â“HeÂ’s dead, CaptainÂ—but not for long!Â”[/quote:post_uid0]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA![/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

04-10-2004, 08:20 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]7. Denise Crosby (Tasha) Â– Plays the shipÂ’s Medical Officer, Dr. Rhea Animator. Her tag line: Â“HeÂ’s dead, CaptainÂ—but not for long!Â”[/quote:post_uid0]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA![/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Have to admit this was inspired by the [i:post_uid0]Lois and Clark[/i:post_uid0] cheeser. I just thought it was brilliant casting to have Denise Crosby, of all people, trying to bring Lex Luthor back from the dead![/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

04-10-2004, 08:30 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Have to admit this was inspired by the Lois and Clark cheeser.[/quote:post_uid0]

I figured as much, but it's still funny.[/color:post_uid0]

NeoMatrix

04-10-2004, 10:14 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][quote:post_uid0]7. Denise Crosby (Tasha) Â– Plays the shipÂ’s Medical Officer, Dr. Rhea Animator. Her tag line: Â“HeÂ’s dead, CaptainÂ—but not for long!Â”[/quote:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
Is that because John is aboard the ship? lol

Edit: This was my 3000th post! Yay![/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-11-2004, 09:15 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Scooter"][color=#000000:post_uid0]the Ewok-Borg of Endor.

[b:post_uid0]9. Neal McDonough[/b:post_uid0] (Hawk) Â– Cast as the shipÂ’s first ally, the King of Planet X-Pendable, where everybody wears crimson tunics. During the first five minutes of the pilot episode, the planet suffers a sudden gratuitous total existence failure and explodes. (Apologies to Douglas Adams.)

[b:post_uid0]8. Terry Ferrell[/b:post_uid0] (Jadzia) Â– Cast as the uptight holographic bartender, Ditz. Spends most of her time complaining and making coffee for the cybernetic version of Commodore Decker, whose name she continually mispronounces. When in a special episode the timelines are crossed and everybody grows a second head, sheÂ’s the only one who realizes somethingÂ’s changed. Too bad she doesnÂ’t care.

[b:post_uid0]4. Suzie Plakson[/b:post_uid0] (K'Ehleyr) Â– Plays the shipÂ’s first commander, the glamorous Captain Java JanewayÂ—the descendant of the famous admiral and her eventual life partner, Alexander Rozhenko. Though dashing and valorous, she is forced to resign thanks to the countless temporal anomalies that spontaneously occur around her wherever she goes. (Eventually she parlays this into a very successful theme park, Java JanewayÂ’s Temporal Fun Directive and Water World.)

[b:post_uid0]2. Leonard Nimoy[/b:post_uid0] (Spock) & [b:post_uid0]Brent Spiner[/b:post_uid0] (Data) Â– Because of their special status as Â“killed off yet magically retained within the franchise in slight variations on their original characters,Â” these actors were not allowed roles on [i:post_uid0]The Enterprise-AA.[/i:post_uid0] Instead, they are required to play Orion slave women, who are recurring characters in Robo-DeckerÂ’s favorite holodeck program. Spiner proves to have a knack for the role, and Nimoy is eventually phased out, but not before he writes a book titled [i:post_uid0]I Am Not an Orion Slave Girl[/i:post_uid0] (worldwide sales: $1.6 million).

[b:post_uid0]1. Merritt Butrick[/b:post_uid0] (David Marcus) Â– Cast as the successor to Captain Java Janeway, the dashing young Captain John Gax. Dies every week, but is always successfully revived for each new episode by the chief medical officer. Tag line: Â“Uh oh.Â”[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I second Sa`ar`s BWAHAHAHAHAHA, and add my own MUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D :D :D :D :D

Scooter, what are you on? I want some of that too! :D :p :D[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-11-2004, 09:35 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][img:post_uid0]http://www.kras.hr/aslike/brandovi/ms6.jpg[/img:post_uid0]

For Scooter, of course, and for Neo, for his 3000th post. Cookies and pie for everyone! Felicitations and jollyfications! :D Â :lol: Â :p

AHem - Top 10 Wacky TOS/Voyager Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

04-12-2004, 12:38 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top 10 Wacky TOS/Voyager Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes

In some very special episodes where Voyager and Kirk's Enterprise meet because of wormhole anomolies...
10. Chakotay and Chekov battle it out in the WWE holodeck program to see who embraces more stereotypes. It's a draw.
9. The Doctor falls in love with the Enterprise computer. Hilarity ensues.
8. Tuvok/Spock. 'Nough said.
7. Scotty is offended that Torres is an engineer; after all, what do Klingon's know. Then Torres explains to Scotty that all the blinking lights in the Enterprise are due to a faulty bulb.
6. Somehow, in a one-hour eppy, the crew of Enterprise and Voyager encounter 22 new species, spreading Federation rhetoric and joy to all.
5. Torres explains that in during Kirk's era, the Klingons had received "Extreme Makeover" and that's why they lacked bumps on their heads.
4. Kirk is amazed that Janeway has not had any romances; he immediatly woos her.
3. Sulu to Kim: "I am your father".
2. Kes and 7 of 9 dont have anything to do, so they take over the Federationand free women from the stupid mini-skirts...and introduce catsuits.
1. Paris realizes that Star Trek was a TV show in the 1960's. He then wakes up to find himself in a mental instituion with Sisko and Buffy.

Top Ten Next Gen/DS9 Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-12-2004, 02:56 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000:post_uid0]7. Scotty is offended that Torres is an engineer; after all, what do Klingon's know. Then Torres explains to Scotty that all the blinking lights in the Enterprise are due to a faulty bulb.

4. Kirk is amazed that Janeway has not had any romances; he immediatly woos her.

2. Kes and 7 of 9 dont have anything to do, so they take over the Federationand free women from the stupid mini-skirts...and introduce catsuits.

1. Paris realizes that Star Trek was a TV show in the 1960's. He then wakes up to find himself in a mental instituion with Sisko and Buffy.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Hee hee hee... Fantastic list, Opium! :D :D (miraculously we didn`t double-post!)[/color:post_uid0]

mudshark

04-12-2004, 03:25 AM

[quote:post_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000:post_uid0]5. Torres explains that in during Kirk's era, the Klingons had received "Extreme Makeover" and that's why they lacked bumps on their heads.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]I still maintain that that was due to a catastrophic failure of the Klingon Painstick ™ industry. For 50 years, they were forced to make do with heated flatirons.[/color:post_uid0]

Scooter

04-12-2004, 10:50 PM

[quote:post_uid0="mudshark"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0="Opium"]5. Torres explains that in during Kirk's era, the Klingons had received "Extreme Makeover" and that's why they lacked bumps on their heads.[/quote:post_uid0]
I still maintain that that was due to a catastrophic failure of the Klingon Painstick Â™ industry. For 50 years, they were forced to make do with heated flatirons.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]No wonder they don't discuss it with outsiders. :)[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

04-13-2004, 04:24 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I know! A lack of double posts lately...it's scary! :p[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-14-2004, 12:17 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Top Ten Next Gen/DS9 Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes [/quote:post_uid0]

Hmm... we already had DS9, in the ENT/DS9 Crossovers...

How about Top Ten Next Gen/Star Wars Wacky Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes?

EVERYONE! GET BACK HERE FROM YOUR LJs AND SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS AND START WRITING TOP TEN LISTS AGAIN! :D :D[/color:post_uid0]

NAHTMMM

04-14-2004, 01:16 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oh, all right, all right...just don't blame me if I can't entirely get my mind off that stuff...

Top Ten Next Gen/Star Wars Wacky Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes

10. You've Got Comments: Beverly Crusher is struggling to keep her small sci-fi series afloat under the pressure of the new huge-budget series in town while falling in love with a guy she met via LJs. This guy turns out to be none other than Han Solo himself.

9. Mirror Plot, Mirror Plot: In an Undesirable Plot Crossover, the Enterprise-D must survive an attack by a certain hyperspace bowling ball of death while the Falcon is infested by weird alien parasites that look like onions. Knowing that Starfleet is much better at the whole science thing, Solo calls on his old buddy Picard, only to discover that Picard needs his help too...

8. "I Don't WANT to Know About Wuxilian III Customs!": Picard and C-3PO get stuck in a turbolift together. The master diplomat lasts only half the episode before telling the droid to "shut up". Fireworks follow.[/color:post_uid0]

Katy Jane

04-14-2004, 01:58 PM

[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]10. You've Got Comments: Beverly Crusher is struggling to keep her small sci-fi series afloat under the pressure of the new huge-budget series in town while falling in love with a guy she met via LJs. This guy turns out to be none other than Han Solo himself.[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]LMAO! :lol:[/color:post_uid0]

Sa'ar Chasm

04-14-2004, 04:56 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Rules of Fiving (by Sa'ar and Nic)

10: Never write a fiver of a series you never watch just because you`re bored and you want to write a fiver
9: Everything's funnier with monkeys.
8: If it worked once, it can work again (originally: nothing beats a good running gag).
7: When all else fails, throw in some Monty Python (or Star Wars).
6: It's not stealing, it's a reference.
5: Imitation is the sincerest form of sucking up.
4: When desperate, throw in pie
3: When utterly desperate - chili
2: When at the verge of clinical depression - geography porn

And the Number One Rule of Fiving:

1: It never hurts to make gratuitous reference to the fora.[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

04-14-2004, 05:27 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0]EVERYONE! GET BACK HERE FROM YOUR LJs AND SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS AND START WRITING TOP TEN LISTS AGAIN! :D :D[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Tomorrow... :eyeroll:[/color:post_uid0]

Nic Corelli

04-14-2004, 07:16 PM

[quote:post_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000:post_uid0]Top Ten Next Gen/Star Wars Wacky Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]7. Troi is seduced by the Emperor and crosses to the Dark Side. She spies on Worf in the shower, eats Picard`s fish and sabotages Data`s toaster, causing quite an uncomfortable bedroom incident. The episode ends with her and Picard in a lightsaber fight in space, on Enterprise`s hull. She wins.

6. Geordi is proclaimed to be the last Jedi Knight; all of Galaxy depends on him for salvation and freedom. Upon learning this, the Galaxy surrenders to the Empire, saving much time.

5. Darth Vader pretends to be a member of a benevolent alien species and is sent on Enterprise to act as First Officer in the Officers Exchange Program. Hilarity ensues.

4. Looking for a Counselor who won`t state the obvious all the time, Picard hires R2D2. They become good friends and have lunch & Earl Grey every day in the Ready Room. As they grow closer, and as other senior staff begins to grow on Picard`s nerves, he beams them all down on the Breen homeworld in bathing suits, placing R2 as the Acting First Officer, Security Chief, Helmsman, Chief Engineer and Ship`s Doctor. The two of them sit together on the Bridge and have lots of fun and insightful philosophical talks while cruising the galaxy for sultry French chicks and oil.

(do join in the fun... the more the merrier) :D :D[/color:post_uid0]

Standback

04-14-2004, 10:28 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]3. Data, seeking a drastic change, answers an ad reading "Wanted: Saviour of Ancient Jedi Order." Unfortunately, he is told that he is just not the droid they're looking for.
2. Han Solo defects to the Romulans and devotes his life to destroying all Klingons, but especially the ones who killed Chewbacca because they thought she was a Tribble.
1. Riker discovers much to his dismay that he is Luke's father.

Next up: Top Ten Reasons Vulcans Have Pointy Ears[/color:post_uid0]

catalina_marina

04-14-2004, 10:49 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]10. The Romulans infected them with it long ago, out of revenge for kicking them off the planet. Millions died. Only the most logical Vulcans developed resistence to it so they could repopulate the planet.

9. They cut off parts of their ears because they wanted to look like elves. They didn't quite succeed.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

04-14-2004, 10:57 PM

[quote:post_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000:post_uid0][quote:post_uid0]Top Ten Next Gen/DS9 Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes [/quote:post_uid0]

Hmm... we already had DS9, in the ENT/DS9 Crossovers...

How about Top Ten Next Gen/Star Wars Wacky Crossover Episodes/Fights/Slashes?[/color:post_uid0][/quote:post_uid0]
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Oooo, you're trying to get on my bad side, arent you! Well watch out, I'll double post you...over and over and over! :bigsmile:[/color:post_uid0]

taya17

04-14-2004, 11:13 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]8.[/b:post_uid0] All the better to hear you with, darling.
[b:post_uid0]7.[/b:post_uid0] An accident involving a rubberband, weapons-grade plutonium and the planet's largest gene bank.
[b:post_uid0]6.[/b:post_uid0] Oddly enough, archeological digs suggest that Vulcans used to have Ferengi-type ears millenia ago. Something obviously happened in between, but the Vulcans refuse to discuss it with outsiders. Rampant plastic surgery is suspected.[/color:post_uid0]

Opium

04-14-2004, 11:24 PM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]5. While originally they Vulcans had Morn-type ears, plastic surgery was used to correct them, until Vulcans realized that by drinking plutonium, they could be more logical, AND change the shape of their ears.
4. Because round ones are SOOOOO human![/color:post_uid0]

Anonymous

04-15-2004, 02:35 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]These may or may not be funny (or even make sense), but it seems worth a shot...

3. Before Vulcans had cable, what do you think they used for bunny ears?

2. Since the Klingons did there "Smooth forehead" thing, Vulcans wanted to be different too.

1. In an effort to be different as well, the forebearers of the Romulans did the same thing. In retribution, the Vulcans said it wasn't cool and they kicked them off the planet.[/color:post_uid0]

Anonymous

04-15-2004, 02:39 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]I knew I forgot something....

Top 10 reasons that newbies should be probably be discouraged from doing Top 10 lists by themselves.[/color:post_uid0]

Gatac

04-15-2004, 10:22 AM

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Rolling with that...

Top 10 Reasons Newbies shouldn't write Top 10 Lists themselves

10. Explicit advice from the old-timers to read some older Top 10 lists first; insanity results.
9. Just not funny without references to John, chily or Topic Title.
8. Follow-up conversation results in the topic veering brutally off-track. Newbie left clueless and suffering from inattention.
7. Newbie's Rule of Top 10s: All the good ones have been done already.
6. Welcome hugs from 17 considered "cruel and unusual".
5. Zeke will read it. Soon.
4. If it's any good, will be PDFed. Due to increased life expectancy of list, could become stumbling point for ex-newbie's presidential election.
3. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, inflicting by many small carpals with pneumatic piledrivers.
2. May find himself *too* funny and get stuck in psychotic laughing mode until forcably rebooted. (Yes, humans have a reset switch. No, you don't want to know where.)

And the Number One reason Newbies really really shouldn't write a Top 10 List:

1. They get spoofed and played for a cheap laugh by a list like this.

Also, this is the first post from Chronos, who works like a charm. Gotta love my new black box of power. :)

On a completely different note, for anyone who's read Neon Exodus:Evangelion (good fanfic, by the way): Remember DJ's dachshound in Season 2? It was named Anubis, because it was the dog of an elderly Egyptian scholar. DJ adopted it, and everybody called it - yep, you guessed it - "Newbie." Just thought I'd share.

Gatac[/color:post_uid0]