June 26

[Zeke]

Welcome to Day 12, featuring the beginning of a new Features feature! Read on.
<ul>
The Occupation Arc, kicked off by Andy yesterday, continues with "Rocks and Shoals (../ds9/fiver.php?ep=rocksandshoals)" by Marc.
Next, IJD completes his initial Starcraft trilogy with Episode III: The Protoss Campaign (../videogames/starcraft3.html).
And now the new feature. With five years under our belts -- or 4772 years in internet time -- we've decided we've earned a little nostalgia. Today is the first of a five-article series called First Fiver Retrospectives, in which each of us on staff will revisit his or her first fiver in some way. Longtime readers may remember when these first fivers were published; newer readers may be seeing them for the first time. We begin today with our newest member, Derek Dean (../features/ffrderek.html), whose first fiver was Star Trek: Generations (../nextgen/fiver.php?ep=generations).[/list]


Be back tomorrow for Day 13 -- unless I hear from a lot of triskaidekaphobes, in which case we'll call it Day 14.

[Chancellor Valium]

Welcome to Day 12, featuring the beginning of a new Features feature! Read on.
<ul>
The Occupation Arc, kicked off by Andy yesterday, continues with "Rocks and Shoals (../ds9/fiver.php?ep=rocksandshoals)" by Marc.
Next, IJD completes his initial Starcraft trilogy with Episode III: The Protoss Campaign (../videogames/starcraft3.html).
And now the new feature. With five years under our belts -- or 4772 years in internet time -- we've decided we've earned a little nostalgia. Today is the first of a five-article series called First Fiver Retrospectives, in which each of us on staff will revisit his or her first fiver in some way. Longtime readers may remember when these first fivers were published; newer readers may be seeing them for the first time. We begin today with our newest member, Derek Dean (../features/ffrderek.html), whose first fiver was Star Trek: Generations (../nextgen/fiver.php?ep=generations).[/list]


Be back tomorrow for Day 13 -- unless I hear from a lot of triskaidekaphobes, in which case we'll call it Day 14.

How about calling it Day X?
:P
Edith: Hmm.......all these cow jokes seem to have triggered a neuron.....is that a semi-obscure reference to the game itself?


Aldaris: You shall go to the province of Scion and take it back from the Zerg swarms.
Executor: That's that province where they make those crappy cars, right?
Aldaris: Yes, let this be a lesson to any Zerg who tries to insult our crappy cars!
:D

Fenix: Crap. Well, at least I will die as a warrior!
Hydrolisk: Um, your blades just kinda fzzt-ed out. You still up for this?
Fenix: Of course! We are a proud race....
Hydrolisk: What does that have to do with anything?
Fenix: Nothing. But they're good last words. Mind if I say 'em again?
:mrgreen:

Tassadar: I find your lack of faith disturbing!
*hand-face*

Terran Scout: Hey Sarge! I found me a Protoss!
Sarge: Kill it!
Protoss: Jeez, what is it with you Terrans and your embodied American South stereotype?
Other Protoss: Keelit! Keelit!
Sarge: Very funny-- GAK!
:lol:

Raynor: No guaruntees.
Nitpick!

Words fail me to describe this fiver, so I'll call it Fred from now on........

[Gatac]

How about calling it Day XIII (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XIII_%28comic%29) ?

There's a cow level rumor about Diablo, an actual cow level in Diablo 2, and a cheat in Starcraft that references it.

Gatac

[Alexia]

13 is my favourite number, but then, I've always been weird like that :wink:

I love that Derek fiver :mrgreen: I'd forgotten how funny it was :D

[mudshark]

Remata'Klan: Our Vorta, Keevan, wishes to trade our two captives for medical attention from your doctor and a conversation with you.
Sisko: Is he wounded?
Remata'Klan: Yes, and very bored. Why else would he bargain like a lowly Ferengi?
Sisko: Very well. I agree to the prisoner exchange.
Remata'Klan: Magnificent. Heh, foreshadowing. :mrgreen:


Executor: You know that you're pretty much guarunteed Zerg bait, right?
Fenix: I think "chum" is the more accurate fishing metaphor here. :D
Tassadar: As I said, we shall destroy the Conclave!
Executor: Isn't that a little extreme?
Tassadar: It'll mean huge explosions....
Executor: I'm on it. Heheheh.


Mme Blueberry
This commentary is just one long ego trip for you, isn't it?
Derek
In contrast to the rest of my experience here at Five-Minute Voyager?
Mme Blueberry
Good point. Heh heh.

[Chancellor Valium]

How about calling it Day XIII (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XIII_%28comic%29) ?

There's a cow level rumor about Diablo, an actual cow level in Diablo 2, and a cheat in Starcraft that references it.

Gatac

That's it. Tis something like "there is no cow", isn't it?

[Gatac]

thereisnocowlevel, I think, but I haven't played Starcraft in ages.

Gatac

[Derek]

Nog: Oh, no! We're going to die! WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WAH!
O'Brien: It's no good, sir! I've lost all attitude control!
Sisko: So has Cadet Nog, apparently.
Heh. Great fiver, Marc.

Aldaris: You shall go to the province of Scion and take it back from the Zerg swarms.
Executor: That's that province where they make those crappy cars, right?
Crappy? I'm about to buy one of those. Ugly, yes. Crappy, no.

[Chancellor Valium]

thereisnocowlevel, I think, but I haven't played Starcraft in ages.

Gatac

Neither have I, it's probably in the back of a cupboard somewhere.......I should have a look at some point, maybe dig it out.....

[Gatac]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0147502683/qid%3D1119038467/sr%3D2-1/ref%3Dpd%5Fbbs%5Fb%5F2%5F1/102-2997626-5599318

Anybody want to five that?

Gatac

[Marc]

Mme Blueberry
So you stole from him?
Derek
No, no, see, it's funny. It's a joke of repetition. When a joke is repeated in a fiver, it's funnier; so I figured a joke referenced across multiple fivers would be funnier still.
Mme Blueberry
So you stole from him.
Derek
Not just him

LOL! Mme Blueberry would make a good prosecutor.

[danieldoof]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0147502683/qid%3D1119038467/sr%3D2-1/ref%3Dpd%5Fbbs%5Fb%5F2%5F1/102-2997626-5599318

Anybody want to five that?

Gatac

hehe
anybody want to BUY that?

[Chancellor Valium]

Q: But of course. You're familiar with the Captain Pike two-light system, I'm sure.
Picard: THERE ARE F--

I HAVE SEEN THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEE!
But you'd have to ask the Nimon about that.......

O'Brien: Welcome back to the past. Are you done shouting letters now?
Picard: Almost. (ahem) DEEEEEEEE! Okay, now I'm finished.
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Picard: If you rearrange the letters of "Tasha Yar," you get "Ah, a stray." :shock:

You're a silly, silly man, Zeke.......

[Xeroc]

Ah, nostalgia ain't what it used to be. ;)


Great commentary! :D


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0147502683/qid%3D1119038467/sr%3D2-1/ref%3Dpd%5Fbbs%5Fb%5F2%5F1/102-2997626-5599318

Anybody want to five that?

Gatac
Well, lets see, 5 minutes is about 1/12 of an hour, so that collection is about... 500,000 pages, that would give us almost...


42,000 pages of fivers!


Holy Crap! I guess that will be done ... soon, in the sooniest sense of the word. ;)

[Zeke]

Uh, Valium? Those quotes are from my "All Good Things..." fiver.

[Chancellor Valium]

Uh, Valium? Those quotes are from my "All Good Things..." fiver.

Pfft. Mere details.

[Scooter]

That commentary track was absolutely delightful. Will unmarried staffers have to talk to themselves?

[Zeke]

I may talk to my angst. I have enough of it that it's probably evolved sentience by now.

[Marc]

>> Will unmarried staffers have to talk to themselves? <<

Actually, being the rugged individualists we are, we all used different approaches when doing our "First Fivers" segments. Uniformity is for drones.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I may talk to my angst. I have enough of it that it's probably evolved sentience by now.
A sock puppet would work too.

[Scooter]

I may talk to my angst. I have enough of it that it's probably evolved sentience by now.
A sock puppet would work too.
I saw that episode of Coupling!



Or maybe you weren't thinking of that...

(slinks away)

[PointyHairedJedi]

Actually, I was thinking of Red Dwarf. Mr Flibble, and all that...

[NAHTMMM]

Garak: Oh no! We're surrounded by Jem'Hadar soldiers!
Nog: Unless they have food and water, I'm really not interested.


Limara'Son: I could not help myself! My instinctive reaction to any situation is to polarize my invisibility cloak and to fire my phase pistol!
Remata'Klan: Your lack of self-control is a disgrace! I hereby reduce you to the rank of second-rate tactical officer!
Limara'Son: I humbly accept my punishment, sir. Now may I please resume shooting?


Bashir: You may regret your morbid curiosity. Chances are that you'll find the sight of his viscera quite repulsive.
Remata'Klan: If you are saying that we will hate his guts, this is hardly news to us.
:D

Keevan: The Jem'Hadar will go insane. First they'll kill all of us, then they'll kill each other, and finally the last survivor will kill himself.
Bashir: Believe him, sir. I've seen that kind of violent reaction before.
Sisko: The time you and O'Brien crash-landed in the Bopak system?
Bashir: Yes, and also the day when DS9's replicators broke down and you didn't get your morning cup of raktajino until half-past noon.
Bwahahaha! :lol:



Executor: I was just following orders.
Aldaris: That's what the nazis said! And the writers of Andromeda!
:mrgreen:

Great set of fivers there, IJD.



well, at least I was able to mention it here in the commentary.
Always nice when you're able to get a joke out there without damaging the artistic integrity of your work. :) ;)

Ugh. I think I would rewrite this scene if I could.
It's frustrating how some of the simplest, most blatant nonsense requires a disturbing amount of explanation.

Nice pacing throughout, Derek. I enjoyed the read and insight into what went into that fiver. :)