Alphabet Story

[Chancellor Valium]

"Baa!", said General Melchett, who does not appear anywhere else in this story.

[Xeroc]

"Crimny! He's got one of those weapons from Reed! It's probably powerful enough to blow a whole fraction out of the sky!", said a patron.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Damn!", said Obi-Wan.

[Lostoyannaya]

"Enough!" Cried Maestro, wielding the weapon as though it were a like snake. "It is time!"

~~Lostoyannaya

[NeoMatrix]

"Finally, some real action around here," said Reed.

[Lostoyannaya]

"Go on, get out of it!" Screamed Yanick. "I'm the token weird foreign guy with a funny accent in this story!"

~~Lostoyannaya :wink:

[Chancellor Valium]

"Hmph! Deluded, more like, are you!", said Yoda, miffed at this statement.

[Xeroc]

"I don't see what the point of all this arguing is. Why can't we all just get along and buy me a pint?", said another patron.

[e of pi]

"Just get along? Riiiiiight. That'll happen." said another patron.

[Xeroc]

"K, well, I suppose you don't have to get along, but the buying me a pint part would be helpful.", responded the other patron with a smile.

[Opium]

"Lazy no-good forumsgoers resetting MY story" mumbled Padme, who walked into the bar with some newly-created Jedi powers and a lightsaber.

[NeoMatrix]

"Maybe you would prefer the Insanity Cell," stated Viki, who also had a lightsabre.

[Chancellor Valium]

"No, a Schroedinger Cell for that one, I think.", said Octan.

[/obscurereference]

[NeoMatrix]

"Obscure Reference room? I think it's on the 2nd floor next to the pool room," said the Janitor.

[Opium]

"Put a sock in it! This is between me and the person who touched the reset button!" said Padme.

[Xeroc]

"Quest for the reset button!", said some RPG'ers in the corner.

[NeoMatrix]

"Remember the quest!" shouted some fanatics.

[Xeroc]

"Send off the questers!", shouted another.

[Opium]

"Take five minutes everybody-we have to press the reset button again!" said The Director.

[Chancellor Valium]

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!", exclaimed Mr. No-One-DeParticular.

[NeoMatrix]

"Viki, where are you? Has anyone seen Viki? He is the only one that has the access codes to the reset button," said Padme, who was in the process of calling the Insanity Police, who were busy with other raids.

[Opium]

"Whatinsanity police kind of are these if they come to a call for the reset button can not?" asked Yogourt.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Xenon, Argon, Krypton, Tellurium.", said someone in the background.

[Xeroc]

"Y do you keep saying odd combinations of elements?", asked another.

[Hejira]

"Zo I can take oh-fer ze vorld - muahahahahaha!"

[Opium]

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...let's do the timewarp again!" said Janeway as the reset button was pressed again.

[danieldoof]

But as the lights went out, guess who entered the scene, it was tribble-man to was about to save the day.

[NeoMatrix]

Centries ago, in a story totally unrelated to the current one,

[Opium]

deep in the jungle of Tacoma, Washington, USA, a timetraveller

[NeoMatrix]

exited the timeportal and was disappointed that she got the coordinates wrong...again.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Frelling Frock-coats!", he said.

[NeoMatrix]

"Great Scott! Why do you keep coming here when this is not your intended destination?" said a lion who was trying to sleep.

[Opium]

"Heck and darn it all...I can't stand this Janeway Inc timemachine!" said TimeTravel Captian Kes.

[NeoMatrix]

"I see we have an unsatisfied customer. Self Destruct in 10 seconds," said the time machine's computer.

[Xeroc]

"Just perhaps not this time?", said the time-traveler in response to the computer.

[Opium]

"Kes, I will not abandon you this time...I will get you to the correct time period" said the time machine.

[NeoMatrix]

"Let's not this happen again, or there will be terrible consequences," said Kes.

[Opium]

"Me like coffee" said Janeway, who had mysteriously shown up.

[NeoMatrix]

"No coffee here either, but we won't give up on our mission just yet," said Kes to Janeway.

[Xeroc]

"Perhaps we should try Istanbul in 1554?", said the time machine's computer.

[Opium]

"Quit yammering and start making coffee!" yelled Janeway to the computer.

[NeoMatrix]

"Right away, Captain. Please rate your day on a scale between 1 and 100 for acurate coffee results," said the computer.

[Opium]

"Superman's Dead, eeyaeeyaeeya, is it in my head" sang Our Lady Peace, in the soundtrack.

[Chancellor Valium]

"That's jazz? Mew off!", shouted the janitor.

[Opium]

"Ugh, can we get back to paying attention to ME?" asked Padme.

[e of pi]

"Verily, madam." replied a passing Shakespearian actor.

[Chancellor Valium]

"You. Can't. Be. Shak. -Spear. -Ian, you. Don't. Speak. Like. Every word. Is. Its. Own. Sentence!", replied Wil. liam. Shat. ner., as he passed through.

[NeoMatrix]

"Zzzzz Zzzz' Zzz zzz ZZ zzzZZZ," (Wake me up when the Shakespearian actor gets to my favorite line) said a Shakespearian bee.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Aaand CUT!", said George Lucas.

[NeoMatrix]

"But I have no knife, only this spoon," said Padme.

[Opium]

"Can we do this whole thing again...the angle was all wrong!" shouted Lucas.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Duh. Oh.", said Shatner.

[Opium]

"Ew, will we have to hear the doctor sing again?" asked Darthy.

[Chancellor Valium]

"For early one morning when I was-a fishing...", sang the Doctor, in answer.

[Opium]

"Good grief, does he ever shut up?" asked Seven of Nine.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Ithinke notte, gud ledie.", said Chaucer, passing through.

[Opium]

"Huh? Didn't you forget something?" said Janeway.

[Chancellor Valium]

'Judging by your hair, no.', said Garak.

[Opium]

"Kai Win! What are YOU doing here?" asked Janeway.

[NeoMatrix]

"Looking for the plot to this story, and why are you here?" asked Kai Win.

[Opium]

"My life needed a little more silliness" replied Janeway.

[Ginga]

"No, rly?" Chakotay replied, dressed as a white owl.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Oh, how...amusing, my child!", replied Winn.

[Opium]

"Please do have some coffee!" said Janeway, who was setting a table with coffee and biscuits.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Quark's does coffee better than anywhere in this galaxy!", said Broick, appearing from nowhere.

[Opium]

"Really? I always liked Guinan's better" said Worf.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Silence, unbelieving pig!", replied Kai Winn, with a karate chop to Worf's neck.

[Opium]

"Tea for two, and two for tea, and tea for two, and two for tea..." sang Janeway, who was serving coffee.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Ure Crzy!", said Chakotay, still disguised as a white owl.

[Opium]

"Very!" replied Janeway, who was in the middle of murdering 7 of 9.

[NeoMatrix]

"Where is Khan?" asked Captain Kirk, who just arrived.

[Chancellor Valium]

"!X-muirohtlaB si ,elbatsnu ylhgih", dais Kcops

[NeoMatrix]

"You there, get me some coffee from that hostile nebula, STAT!" commanded Janeway.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Ze nebula contains only GAKinium!", replied Dr. Zoidberg.

[NeoMatrix]

"All Stop! We need to prepare the redshirts to retrieve the GAKinium," replied Janeway.

[NeoMatrix]

"All Stop! We need to prepare the redshirts to retrieve the GAKinium," replied Janeway.

[Opium]

"Beam us down, Scotty" said Kirk.

[NeoMatrix]

"Can't, we got squirrels in the computer and I'm all out of rum," said Scotty.

[Chancellor Valium]

"D'oh!", said Homer, passing through.

[Opium]

"Everyday, I go through this...I'm in a time warp!" said Scotty.

[Hejira]

Finally, Janeway resorted to launching herself into space to suck up the GAKinium with her mouth.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Get to it, Kathryn!", shouted a hopeful Chakotay.