October 14 - 250,000 hits!

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]

5MV just celebrated two big milestones; one was due to happen today, and we timed the other to coincide with it. First of all, we just got our [iost_uid0]quarter millionth hit![/iost_uid0] I think that's a pretty good total for just over three years online, and I'm deeply grateful to all who have helped us get there. Readers, that would be you. I also extend my personal thanks to Marc, IJD, Derek, and most especially Kira for their tremendous and continuing contributions -- I couldn't do this without you guys. I don't need to list the dozens of other people who've been of help to me and to 5MV. You know who you are, and I thank you.


The other big event is about Five-Minute Next Gen, which today both attains and surpasses the 50% series coverage mark. The two fivers by which it does so are Marc's "Contagion" and Nic Corelli's "Phantasms." I did my whole hooray-for-5MNG spiel just last month for the two-year anniversary, so I won't trot it out again, but suffice to say I'm very proud to see this subsite reach the 50% mark. Enjoy the fivers (Marc's will ring a lot of bells for PC owners).[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Worf: Sir, sensors are detecting catastrophic events on the Yamato!
Picard: Specify!
Worf: An exploding wall console has killed several Bridge officers, and Captain Varley has apparently ordered his Betazoid Counselor to take the helm!
Picard: My God! Donald, can you hear me? Your ship is in...
Yamato: (on viewscreen) KER-BLAM!
Picard: ...several hundred thousand flaming pieces.
Data: One million seven hundred and seventy-one thousand five hundred and sixty-one, to be exact.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: :lol: I love that bit! And the Stargate reference. I liked the Aztec reference too.

It's all hilarious.



[quoteost_uid0]Picard: Are we ready to activate the new warp core?
La Forge: (over the comm) Almost. You just have to choose between the Coaxial Warp Drive mode, the Quantum Slipstream mode and the Hindenburg mode.[/quoteost_uid0]
"Hindenburg mode"? Dreadnaught reference? Heheh.

[quoteost_uid0]Data: Thanks for taking care of Spot, Worf. Remember, you must bathe him, kiss him and read Jane Austen to him.
Worf: All that might turn him into a girl![/quoteost_uid0]
:smile: Funny stuff, all around.[/colorost_uid0]

[dsbs]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I just had to comment on the Beatles reference in Phantasms. I love the beatles, and that was a great parody as well, so kudos!! [/colorost_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]a quarter million hits  :O  congrads you guys!(extra explanation points omitted for Zeke's sake)  [/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Congrats 5MV! Congrats 5MNG!

Marc, that fiver was simply hilarious. I'm amazed at how you fit Star Trek 2, TAS, TOS, TNG, Stargate, DS9, ENT, and lots more references into your fiver so fluidly. As well as taking a few shots at Microsoft.
[quoteost_uid0]La Forge: No, actually, I remembered that last night I was watching an old movie about dinosaurs running amok in a computer-controlled amusement park, you see, and there's a scene where.....[/quoteost_uid0]
...Unix saved the day!

Nic, that was another great fiver. Lots of good references in your stuff too. Favorite line:
[quoteost_uid0]Troi: Okay, listen. I've been meaning to ask you this for days... do androids dream of electric sheep?[/quoteost_uid0]
Well, he dreamed of an electric crow....[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0][iost_uid0]Captain's Log: The Enterprise is beginning to experience minor but widespread system failures. I can only hope that this log entry will not be affected by th... -- FRITZZZ! -- ...erators are standing by to take your call! Order your copy of "Phlox's Hottest Decon Videos" today! We now return you to tonight's adults-only broadcast of... -- CRACKLE! -- ...fore we arrive at Iconia, or else we may be in serious trouble.

[/iost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]

:howls:

[quoteost_uid0]La Forge: Commander, I know how we can get rid of the virus! All we have to do is shut everything down to clear the circuits, then re-initialize our computers!
Riker: That's brilliant! Did you figure it out by seeing how Data rebooted himself?
La Forge: No, actually, I remembered that last night I was watching an old movie about dinosaurs running amok in a computer-controlled amusement park, you see, and there's a scene where....

[/quoteost_uid0]

The help-desk solution to everything: turn off the computer, then turn it on again....

[quoteost_uid0]Data: And so I was dreaming that Dr. Crusher was sucking something on a straw from Commander Riker's head. I can't imagine what, but still....
Picard: Okay, enough. Anyone here have a solution to Mr. Data's problem? Doctor?
Crusher: Sure I do, Jean Luc. And it's great. It's called -- A STRAIGHTJACKET!
[/quoteost_uid0]

My favourite part from the fiver.

Happy 250,000th! And these are the reasons why... oints above: [/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Wow, 250,000 hits. Cool. How long ago was it we were coming up on 150K?

To fivers:
[quoteost_uid0]Picard: My God! Donald, can you hear me? Your ship is in...
Yamato: (on viewscreen) KER-BLAM!
Picard: ...several hundred thousand flaming pieces.
Data: One million seven hundred and seventy-one thousand five hundred and sixty-one, to be exact.
[/quoteost_uid0]
Now, where have I seen that number before?
[quoteost_uid0]Picard: Worf, take Data through the gateway. With luck, you'll both end up back on the Enterprise.
Worf: Suppose we end up going nowhere?
Picard: Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all.
Worf: Amazing. In all my life, I never thought I would ever hear a kas-volch'iq-nedah't.
Picard: A what?
Worf: In Klingon it means, "pun worthy of instant death unless it comes from a man with his finger on a planetary self-destruct button."
[/quoteost_uid0]
Good ones, plus all the Windows, inter-series and inter-franchise bits. Great stuff, Marc!

[quoteost_uid0]La Forge: (over the comm) Okay, let's try out the new warp core again.
Riker: Everyone say Edsel!
Warp core: Pbbbt.
Riker: Neat. It has a Dreadnought mode!
[/quoteost_uid0]
And the others cited above, plus more inter-series refs (esp. VOY) and the Philip Dick one. Go, Nic!

Oh, yeah: why the Egyptian-Hittite battle of 1294 BC? Any particular reason? Liked the way the Admirals' invitation was turned around, there.[/colorost_uid0]

[Kristina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]you're free to watch... as I eat this huge, exquisite, scrumptuous cake... with thirty different layers of chocolate... right here, in front of you... Yum... Yum... YUM....
(Troi eats the cake at Very, Very Slow Speed)[/quoteost_uid0]

Will someone please, please just kill Troi? I just got to work (no chocolate in sight). Having said that, it was a very funny fiver.
Marc - nice Windows slamming. Some days, my computer has crashed before I even start it. :swear:

Oh, and hooray for the 250k hits![/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hilarious. I especially liked Marc's TAS references -

[quoteost_uid0]Wesley: Weird. Have you ever heard of a replicator playing a practical joke like that?
Picard: Only some off-the-record rumours that it once happened on James Kirk's Enterprise.
Wesley: It's too bad those kinds of unconfirmed stories never make it into Starfleet's official textbooks. If they did, history class would be a lot more animated. [/quoteost_uid0]

- and the scene from Nic's with Freud.

[quoteost_uid0]Dr. Freud: It's all your mother's fault.
Data: But wait, I haven't even told you....
Dr. Freud: Mother.
Data: But I don't have a mother.
Dr. Freud: MOTHER!
Data: I see you're tremendously useful, just like any other Counsellor. [/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Massive amounts of congratulations to [bost_uid0]5MV[/bost_uid0] for hitting the
quarter-million mark!
:lol: :lol:
I can't wait until this website gets all the way up to lucky
number [iost_uid0][bost_uid0]one billion[/bost_uid0][/iost_uid0]. I'm sure we'll see some really insane
stuff start to happen then.
[/colorost_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The appearance of the following story on the Reuters news service today, less than one day after the publication of "Contagion," is presumably just a coincidence....

--------

October 15, 2003
Microsoft Warns of 5 New Critical Security Holes

SEATTLE (Reuters) - Microsoft Corp. on Wednesday announced five new "critical" flaws in its software and provided patches to fix them in order to prevent hackers from gaining access to personal computers by deploying a malicious program similar to the devastating Blaster worm.

The world's largest software company said it recognized the difficulty the multiple patches posed for companies trying to apply them.

"Because so many critical patches were issued today, companies will face a difficult challenge trying to quickly identify the necessary patches, test systems and roll out patches to all servers and workstations," Microsoft said in a statement.

Microsoft made the announcement with Shavlik Technologies, a security software and services firm, which helps companies apply the software patches.

"But they are very serious," said Parker. A compromised computer could be used by attackers to run malicious programs and launch attacks on other computers, he said.

Microsoft announced a total of seven software flaws and patches on Wednesday, of which five were given the company's most urgent security rating of "critical."

--------[/colorost_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]>> Oh, yeah: why the Egyptian-Hittite battle of 1294 BC? Any particular reason? <<

Nic mentioned to me when he submitted his fiver that he had recently been reading about the Hittites, and that he'd been struck by the fact that their mysteriousness made them sound very Romulan. He speculated that Picard, who's interested in archaeology, had devised some bizarre theory on the subject that he was constantly trying to tell people about. [/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Awesome Fivers [/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Marc"]>> Oh, yeah: why the Egyptian-Hittite battle of 1294 BC? Any particular reason? <<

Nic mentioned to me when he submitted his fiver that he had recently been reading about the Hittites, and that he'd been struck by the fact that their mysteriousness made them sound very Romulan. Â He speculated that Picard, who's interested in archaeology, had devised some bizarre theory on the subject that he was constantly trying to tell people about. Â [/quoteost_uid0]
Indeed, Â

I`ve found out that the Hittites had this sneaky tactic of sending false defectors to Egyptian war camps, where those "defectors" would tell the Egyptians that the Hittite army is several weeks away. When in fact, it was a day or two away... So when the Hittites attacked, the Egyptians would be completely shocked and unprepared. They used this tactic in the battle of 1294 BC...

Romulans would be proud, Â

By the way, thanks everyone for the nice words about the fiver, Glad you enjoyed it!

Marc, I really liked Contagion...

[quoteost_uid0]Picard: Tea, Earl Grey, hot.
(The replicator delivers fruit, exotic, cold)
Wesley: Weird. Have you ever heard of a replicator playing a practical joke like that?
Picard: Only some off-the-record rumours that it once happened on James Kirk's Enterprise.
Wesley: It's too bad those kinds of unconfirmed stories never make it into Starfleet's official textbooks. If they did, history class would be a lot more animated. [/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]La Forge: (catapulted out) AAAHHHHHH -- ooompf!
Riker: Damn -- he's out cold. Look, sir...there's a message on the PADD he's holding. The display keeps putting two and two together.
Picard: I'm open to conjectures about what that's supposed to mean. [/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]Data: I believe I have found the control panel for the stargate which has just opened.
(FWWWZZZAP!)
Picard: Data! Are you all right?
Data: I am not certain. I feel an overwhelming urge to transmit messages to everyone in my address book. [/quoteost_uid0]

Loved these scenes!

Oh, and about Windows... I just got Windows XP installed on Monday. Fortunately, they`ve spared me, but they`ve been bugging my sister all day... refusing to run Civilization III, [/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]And yet another one falls into the trap. They should just call it 'The OS of DOOM!'.

Let us hold a moment of silence for all those countless victims of XP.

*Bows head solemnly*[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Marc"]>> Oh, yeah: why the Egyptian-Hittite battle of 1294 BC? Any particular reason? <<

Nic mentioned to me when he submitted his fiver that he had recently been reading about the Hittites, and that he'd been struck by the fact that their mysteriousness made them sound very Romulan. Â He speculated that Picard, who's interested in archaeology, had devised some bizarre theory on the subject that he was constantly trying to tell people about. Â [/quoteost_uid0]
Indeed, Â

I`ve found out that the Hittites had this sneaky tactic of sending false defectors to Egyptian war camps, where those "defectors" would tell the Egyptians that the Hittite army is several weeks away. When in fact, it was a day or two away... So when the Hittites attacked, the Egyptians would be completely shocked and unprepared. They used this tactic in the battle of 1294 BC...

Romulans would be proud, Â [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Okay, I figured it had to be something like that, but it made me wonder. Fits in well with Picard and your handling of the invitation. :lol:
[quoteost_uid0]
Microsoft made the announcement with Shavlik Technologies, a security software and services firm, ... [/quoteost_uid0]
Hmmm. Sounds like more Romulans? [/colorost_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]I`ve found out that the Hittites had this sneaky tactic of sending false defectors to Egyptian war camps, where those "defectors" would tell the Egyptians that the Hittite army is several weeks away. [...] Romulans would be proud [/quoteost_uid0]

The author of The Art of War, Sun Ze, would also have approved. Closer in time and location to the Hittites, the Achaeans (i.e. the Greeks) pulled a similar trick on the Trojans to get them to buy their wooden horse ruse. Those ancient Romulan "Chariots of the Gods" astronauts sure got around in those days....[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]^ Now that you mention it, yes, [iost_uid0]very[/iost_uid0] close in both time and location. Fortunately, (I think) Von Däniken isn't around to come out with a new book: [iost_uid0]In Search of Ancient Romulans[/iost_uid0]. [/colorost_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Now that you mention it, yes, very close in both time and location. Fortunately, (I think) Von Däniken isn't around to come out with a new book: In Search of Ancient Romulans[/quoteost_uid0]

A more down-to-earth explanation of what happened at the end of the Trojan War is that the story of the "wooden horse" is a garbled account of the use by the Greeks of a wooden siege tower to breach the city's walls. This technology was unknown to the Greeks, but it could well have been provided to them by mercenary soldiers from the older civilizations of Anatolia and Mesopotamia -- including the Hittites.

The Hittite kingdom collapsed around 1190, right around the time of the traditional dates for the Trojan War (1193 to 1184), so there may have been a lot of unemployed Hittite soldiers and military engineers looking for work in that area who could have been hired by the Greek army as "siege consultants" (in what could be called an early example of private-sector outsourcing.)[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"]Romulans would be proud, Â [/quoteost_uid0]
Positively beaming, I'd say.

Great job, guys. [/colorost_uid0]