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#1
06-12-2004, 04:00 AM
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[color=#000000
 ost_uid0]The 5MD event continues today with a trilogy of fivers from Nic Corelli: "The Storyteller," "The Forsaken," and "Dramatis Personae." Yep, those are all from Season 1. What can I say? Nic's a minimalist chef -- he only uses one seasoning.[/color ost_uid0]
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction 
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#2
06-12-2004, 07:07 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]If I type how much I laughed, I'd be sitting here all day.  Brilliant job. I bow to thee, Nic. Gatac[/color ost_uid0]
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Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'? Justin: It's kind of a limited skill. Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges. - d02 Quotes
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#3
06-12-2004, 02:33 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Great fivers, Nic. It'd been so long since I last read them that I'd forgotten most of the jokes.I liked the imposter ambassadors bit in "The Forsaken", and the LotR stuff in "The Storyteller, but my favorite scene is in "Dramatis Personae" [quote ost_uid0]Odo: Hm, perhaps the log entries from the Klingon ship will reveal something to me about this strange phenomenon...Klingon Captain's Log: Dear Diary. Today my Operations Officer killed my Tactical Officer. Then the Chief Engineer killed my Operations Officer. Then the First Officer killed the Chief Engineer. Finally, I killed the First Officer. Odo: Damn, nothing unusual there...[/quote ost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician.
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#4
06-12-2004, 03:07 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Constable's Log: Lwaxana invades our space, and we fall back. Lwaxana annoys entire space stations, and we fall back. Not again!Lwaxana: Ooodoooo... Odo: Shut up! The line must be drawn here! Lwaxana: Where, in this puddle of goo you're leaking? [/quote ost_uid0]Too evil! I love it! Great job, Nic.[/color ost_uid0]
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Kirk: Bones, this man needs medical attention! McCoy: Dammit Jim I'm a Doctor, not a... oh sure!
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#6
06-13-2004, 12:15 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]O'Brien: Oh no! What am I going to do? Have you seen the monster? It's very cryptic ...Bashir: And rather obscure ... O'Brien: It almost looks like ... Bashir: A baguette! O'Brien: (shudder) [/quote ost_uid0]:snicker: [quote ost_uid0]Bashir: Um ... why don't you inflict that torment on, say, Chief O'Brien instead? He always impersonates you and says that Kirk and Picard were way better Captains.Sisko: He does? That's it, he's going down. I'll give him seven years of needless, sick torment ... Cardassian tribunal, Cardassian jail, temporal anomalies ... [/quote ost_uid0]The real reason comes out. [quote ost_uid0]Odo: Doctor, I finally got it! The spheres from the Klingon ship are making everyone go evil!Bashir: How did you come to that brilliant conclusion, Constable? Odo: Shhh... (...) Spheres: Evil, evil, evil... Bashir: Oh, I see. [/quote ost_uid0] :lol: Nice work, [b ost_uid0]Nic[/bost_uid0]![/colorost_uid0]
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Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
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#7
06-13-2004, 02:01 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Varis: Yes. North Bajor has too many M & Ms. [/quoteost_uid0]At last we discover what that handle REALLY means... [quote ost_uid0]Village: Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more... [/quoteost_uid0]Rest in peace, Ray...[/color ost_uid0]
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Any truth is better than indefinite doubt. — Sherlock Holmes "The Adventure of the Yellow Face," Arthur Conan Doyle
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#8
06-15-2004, 10:18 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Great trio of fivers![quote ost_uid0]Dax: You keep forgetting this is a Cardassian computer, Benjamin. It told him, "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." Constable's Log: Lwaxana invades our space, and we fall back. Lwaxana annoys entire space stations, and we fall back. Not again! Kira: You are a dumb being, created by a dumb being. Finding your weakness will be a matter of two or three seconds! [/quote ost_uid0]And my absolute favourite: [quote ost_uid0]Kira: We can't get you out now. We'll get you out... soon.Odo: Hm... define "soon." Kira: Impossible. [/quote ost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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Marc 5MNG Section Head
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#9
06-16-2004, 02:43 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid7]Lots and lots of hilarious stuff in this update![quote ost_uid7]O'Brien: What? I fought in the Cardassian War and served aboard the Enterprise, and suddenly you outrank me? That's ridiculous!Bashir: Yes, but that's nothing compared to the fact that Troi outranks you. That's just hysterical![/quote ost_uid7]Indeed it is! [quote ost_uid7]Villager: The old man is dying.Bashir: That's it? Villager: Well, yes. Bashir: You said the entire village was on the verge of extinction! Where's the mutated virus? The black plague? The hideous acne epidemic? Villager: I'm so sorry we failed your expectations. There is one child with measles, if that helps. ... Navot Diplomat: It is ours! The treaty clearly says the river Moppy is the border. Varis: It is not! It's the river Meow Meow. And on the east it's the river Moo.[/quote ost_uid7]:lol: [quote ost_uid7]Varis: Yes. North Bajor has too many M & Ms.[/quoteost_uid7]*double-take* [quote ost_uid7]O'Brien: Oh no! What am I going to do? Have you seen the monster? It's very cryptic...Bashir: And rather obscure... O'Brien: It almost looks like... Bashir: A baguette![/quote ost_uid7]ROFL! :lol: [quote ost_uid7]Varis: My father used to start all negotiations with the words: "I will rip your heads off and you will drown in the pool of your own blood!"Nog: Um... and what would your mother say? Varis: Between the "Clean your room! Wash the dishes! Take out the trash!" screams, it's actually quite hard to understand her. ... Sisko: So, who was this Dal'Rok anyway? Bashir: It was the dazed and confused monster in a top hat. Everyone: NOOOOOOOO![/quote ost_uid7]Heeheehee. [quote ost_uid7]Sisko: GASP! You most certainly will not!Odo: I'm sorry, sir... Sisko: That's the only toaster I have, and it works beautifully. Go throw her off the upper pylon or something.[/quote ost_uid7]Bwahahaha! [quote ost_uid7]Kira: I just hope everything stays normal until I assemble an army of flying monkeys to destroy Sisko's league with the Devil.... Kira: You are a dumb being, created by a dumb being. Finding your weakness will be a matter of two or three seconds! Odo: Commander, I need to speak with you. I must report a very strange behaviour throughout the station. Sisko: Oh. That is a most disturbing news. I hope you'll solve this problem, Constable, as you always do, while I finish constructing my Massive Clock of DOOM! ... O'Brien: But not if we return with the 300-meter six-headed nine-winged fire-breathing Vulcan dinosaur![/quote ost_uid7]Heehee. Way to go Nic![/color ost_uid7]
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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#10
06-16-2004, 05:25 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Another 3 great ones  [quote ost_uid0]Jake: Why are we just sitting here all day? Let's play baseball!Nog: Stop pestering me with that! Baseball is boring. Jake: Okay, then... how about water polo? Nog: AAAAA! Baseball's great! Let's play baseball! [/quote ost_uid0]LOL! [quote ost_uid0]Odo: She almost makes you seem like a pleasant company.Lwaxana: BUAAAA! My jewellery is stolen! HELP HELP HELPHELPHELPHELP... Odo: The word "almost" is hereby withdrawn. [/quote ost_uid0]Hehe, gotta love Lwaxana. [quote ost_uid0]Sisko: Doctor! You're alive! And you managed to protect the Ambassadors!Bashir: Yeah. Now please escort Subcommander T'Vek, Gul Damarra and Senior Cabal Officer Rilik to the brig. [/quote ost_uid0]This and all the running commentary in the Bashir/Ambassadors scences were great! [quote ost_uid0]Sisko: Oh. That is a most disturbing news. I hope you'll solve this problem, Constable, as you always do, while I finish constructing my Massive Clock of DOOM!Odo: Um... what made you start constructing a clock? Sisko: I don't know! But never mind that, look at it... Odo: It's MASSIVE! [/quote ost_uid0]Clock of doom, bwhahaha! And it even had continuity since it was seen several times in Sisco's office in later episodes. [quote ost_uid0]Odo: I will trap Kira, Sisko and O'Brien in the cargo bay, Kira will think I trapped them for her. I will stall them as long as I can, but then you have to release the aquatiblunoshmoozitron pulse to incapacitate the spheres.Bashir: And then we take over the Alpha Quadrant? Odo: (sigh) Yes, then we take over the Alpha Quadrant... Now get to work![/quote ost_uid0]Hehe, poor Odo.[/color ost_uid0]
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--Quinalla
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#11
06-19-2004, 12:35 AM
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[quote
ost_uid0="Quinalla"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Clock of doom, bwhahaha! And it even had continuity since it was seen several times in Sisco's office in later episodes.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0][color=#000000 ost_uid0]Yeah, even in season five. Now that`s continuity!Thanks everyone, glad you liked the fivers, [/colorost_uid0]
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\"Lord Eddard Stark is a proud, honourable, honest man, and his lady wife is worse.\" ~A Game of Thrones, book one of Song of Ice and Fire
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