June 13

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]

We're back with the third and final day of the 5MD first-anniversary event. The first day was Derek Dean's show, the second Nic Corelli's, and today goes to the guest writers. First up is "The Way of the Warrior," by me. Next, Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged makes his 5MD debut with "Battle Lines." Finally, something I guarantee you weren't expecting -- a new WYCBT fiver! (For those who don't know, WYCBT is the DS9 equivalent of VVS8 -- read the original Five-Minute Deep Space Nine article for the full story.) Nell's been a little busy, so this one's by one of her fellow WYCBT writers, Sharon Monroe. The episode is "Linked."


This concludes our event. Great first year, Derek -- now let's have another one. Chop chop.[/colorost_uid0]



Edited By Zeke on 1087179514

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Oh, quick note -- I know 5MD is not yet polished. No blurbs, subsite info panel, special info on WYCBT fivers, event banners, and such. I'm aware of this; do not "inform" me of it. [/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Sisko: But the Dominion's been quiet lately. They're not even returning our calls.
Martok: They are waiting for the right moment. They have call waiting.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Sisko: Gowron! This is an unexcepted pleasure. See how I'm fearing your creepy eyes?
Gowron: (over the comm) Do not try to flatter me, human! I would speak with Worf! ALONE!
Sisko: By definition, if you're speaking with someone, you're not alone.
Gowron: I am SO not going to miss being allies with you people.[/quoteost_uid0]
The Klingon swear words were good too.

Great fiver, Zeke. Thanks!

Congrats, Wowbagger, on your first Niner Fiver. May it be the first of many.

And a WYCBT fiver! Good job, Sharon![/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]:lol:

'nuf said.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Sisko: Unfortunately, you're right. Gowron has torn up the Khitomer Accords. By all accounts, he spat on them and called them "bad."
Jadzia: You mean we're not at peace anymore? But I like Klingons!
Gowron: (over the comm) And we like you. With ketchup. [/quoteost_uid0]And creepy eyes!
and
[quoteost_uid0]Jadzia: I'm detecting the wreckage of some Cardassian ships up ahead.
Worf: No way do we have time to check for survivors.
Sisko: (sigh) You're right. Make an official entry for the ship's record: "Sucks to be those ships."
Worf: Yes! Yes! Picard would have checked for survivors if he'd had the whole Borg collective on his tail! [/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Klingon Ships: Z'aP Z'aP Z-- OW!
Deep Space Nine: In yo' face. [/quoteost_uid0]Forehead smoothers, root beer metaphors and [iost_uid0]q'rAp[/iost_uid0]. :lol:

Also, the WYCBT fiver, but I'm going to have to read that again after I've gone thru a refresher on the cast of characters.

[quoteost_uid0]O'Brien: We'll use a differential magnetometer to scan for humanoid biosigns by penetrating the delta radiation and the mutual induction field set up by the --
Dax: Not one more word or you'll cause a technobabble explosion that'll take out that small moon.
O'Brien: That's no moon ... that's a battle GAK!
Dax: Lucky that this "Hammer of Smiting" just materialized on the transporter pad.
T'Pol: (over the comm) No problem. [/quoteost_uid0]Also PETE: People Eating Tasty Ennis

Good start, [bost_uid0]Wowbagger[/bost_uid0] [/colorost_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Great fivers! Laughing out loud all the way through.

Anyway, "Join the army they said." Were does that originally come from? Was it the WarCraft II Footman, or did he steal it from some movie? [/colorost_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Knowing in advance that Zeke was working on "WoW", I was eager to see what he'd come up with. I wasn't disappointed:

[quoteost_uid0]Sisko: You know, you'll have an interesting time trying to find a shore on this station....
Martok: Too late. You said yes. Hahaha.

Sisko: But the Dominion's been quiet lately. They're not even returning our calls.
Martok: They are waiting for the right moment. They have call waiting.

Garak: I think you may have misinterpreted him. Hey, are those Klingons hassling Morn?
Odo: Uh oh. Must have been something he said.

Kasidy: (over the comm) Thanks, Ben.
Sisko: All in a day's work. I would have done this for any innocent freighter captain.
Kira: What about the twelve freighters the Klingons seized before this one that you didn't do anything about?
Sisko: They were all guilty of things.

Worf: So what's the fleet really doing here? You can tell a fellow Klingon.
Martok: You're right. Show me one and I'll tell him.

Martok: So who needs you? We can kick perfectly well on our own. Have you seen our boots?

Kira: Shh. Don't spoil the surprise. Anyway, good luck saving the Cardassians. It's a worthy endeavour.
Sisko: Why are you grinning? ...Sisko to O'Brien. Will you check the Defiant for sabotage, please?
Kira: Nuts.

Worf: At times like this, I ask myself, "What would Kahless do?" And then I call Emperor Kahless and ask him. As a rule, his answers are violent.

Gowron: We'll kill them hand to hand. Aim for their shield generators!
Martok: Those are shielded. Let's take out their shields first.
Gowron: So how do we take out the shields?
Martok: I know! Aim for the shield generators!

Worf: Well, it beats being a security officer in yellow, the colour of cowardice.
Jadzia: Starfleet's uniform designers are kind of strange. Next thing you know we'll all be in monochrome, or one-piece jumpsuits.
Everyone: (shudders) [/quoteost_uid0]

LOL![/colorost_uid0]

[Wade, The Sane Commodore]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Martok: (over the comm) Greetings, honoured Federation allies! May my men come aboard for shore leave?
Sisko: Shore.[/quoteost_uid0]

Oh, Zeke, this setup BEGS for "Yes, but only 12 at a time" response. I find you guilty of underuse of references and sentence you to watch 10 hours of Classic Trek.

Great fivers, great event. More updates![/colorost_uid0]

[Pteryx]

[color=#000000ost_uid5][quoteost_uid5]Odo: Ha! A Klingon is about as likely to kill me as you are.
Bashir: (smiles) Yes, that's very unlikely.[/quoteost_uid5]

:lol: Brilliant! Greak fiver, Zeke!

Oh, yes -- when will the Fiver by Commitee continue? -- Pteryx[/colorost_uid5]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid5][quoteost_uid5]Quark: This is insane. My bar is full of Klingons and it's quiet.
O'Brien: Clearly they're plotting to kill you.
Quark: No, I'm very familiar with the sound of people plotting to kill me, and this isn't it. They're plotting something else.

...
Kira: We're still not sure exactly how many Klingon ships there are. They keep cloaking and decloaking and firing on Captain Yates' freighter.
Sisko: WHAT?
Kira: Oh yeah, that was the other thing I was supposed to tell you.

Jadzia: The Klingon ship has the freighter in a tractor beam.
Sisko: Hail them! You Klingon bastards, this is Ben Sisko of the Federation starship so much more powerful than yours it's not funny. Release my floozy![/quoteost_uid5]

[quoteost_uid5]Sisko: All in a day's work. I would have done this for any innocent freighter captain.
Kira: What about the twelve freighters the Klingons seized before this one that you didn't do anything about?
Sisko: They were all guilty of things.[/quoteost_uid5]
*snickers*
[quoteost_uid5]Worf: (steps onto the station dramatically)
O'Brien: (over the comm) Worf! Worf, you fool! You're supposed to step onto the inside of the station!
Worf: What? I -- I -- (starts turning blue)[/quoteost_uid5]
:lol:
[quoteost_uid5]Sisko: The Federation has declared the Klingon invasion officially "bad."
O'Brien: The Klingons won't like that.
Worf: No kidding. You don't want to know what that means in Klingon.
Sisko: Unfortunately, you're right. Gowron has torn up the Khitomer Accords. By all accounts, he spat on them and called them "bad."
Jadzia: You mean we're not at peace anymore? But I like Klingons!
Gowron: (over the comm) And we like you. With ketchup.

...
Worf: Yes! [iost_uid5]Yes![/iost_uid5] Picard would have checked for survivors if he'd had the whole Borg collective on his tail!

...
Gowron: We'll kill them hand to hand. Aim for their shield generators!
Martok: Those are shielded. Let's take out their shields first.
Gowron: So how do we take out the shields?
Martok: I know! Aim for the shield generators![/quoteost_uid5]
:lol: :lol:
[quoteost_uid5]Worf: (WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP) That's for killing Kira!
Kira: I'm not dead!
Worf: Oh. (WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP) That's for not finishing the job![/quoteost_uid5]
Heeheehee.



[quoteost_uid5]Sisko: The wormhole is very, very prettyful. But YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE IT! Hahahahaha!
Opaka: (makes sad puppy eyes)
Sisko: Awww... okay. Board ill-fated runabout-with-river-for-a-namesake #2.
...

Dax: Not one more word or you'll cause a technobabble explosion that'll take out that small moon.
O'Brien: That's no moon... that's a battle GAK!
Dax: Lucky that this "Hammer of Smiting" just materialized on the transporter pad.
T'Pol: (over the comm) No problem.[/quoteost_uid5]
Another great one



[quoteost_uid5]Founder Arlamar: I'm Arlamar, the sweet and innocent one and I really kinda like you solids, but please don't talk to me because I wanna be just like the other Founders and they'll get mad if I talk to you.[/quoteost_uid5]
:lol: Funny stuff![/colorost_uid5]

[Quinalla]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Another excellent trio!

[quoteost_uid0]Garak: Oh good, my first customers of the day. How can I help you... four... Klingons?
Drex: Death.
Garak: I'm afraid that's on back-order -- OW! [/quoteost_uid0]
Hehe, Garak is great, even in the fivers

[quoteost_uid0]Jadzia: This is Kaybok's dagger. He's sending you a message.
Sisko: What message?
Jadzia: "Here, have this dagger." [/quoteost_uid0]
LOL!

[quoteost_uid0]Sisko: I was sorry to hear about the Enterprise. I know that ship meant a lot to you.
Worf: Oh, yes. It meant a surrendering captain and a vapid counsellor and an invincible chatterbox of an android and the children, oh Kahless, the CHILDREN! ARRRRRGH!
[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Worf: Dude! We have a cloaking device? The Enterprise only had a cloaking device once, and we gave it back!
Sisko: Well, we don't even follow the rules about where we're allowed to use it.
Worf: I'm never going back. Never![/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Worf: Yes! Yes! Picard would have checked for survivors if he'd had the whole Borg collective on his tail!
[/quoteost_uid0]
Hehe, yeah I always thought Worf fit in well on DS9

[quoteost_uid0]Garak: Who would have thought we could hold off so many Klingons by shooting at each other?
Dukat: I know! It's lucky we have such terrible aim. [/quoteost_uid0]
Too bad we didn't see more of Garak vs. Dukat in the series.

[quoteost_uid0]Martok: What? Since when do they actually have torpedoes? They were totally faking in the pilot![/quoteost_uid0]
Hehe, I must say the station wupping all those Klingon ships was a completely awesome, cheerworthy scene

[quoteost_uid0]Kira: By Grapthar's Hammer, You Shall Be Avenged![/quoteost_uid0]
Ah, such a great movie

[quoteost_uid0](Rio Grande computer realizes that ignorance is bliss and erases its memory banks at Ludicrous Speed) [/quoteost_uid0]
Is this a reference to the fact that we never got to see Opaka again? It was a shame too because her character was awesome.

[quoteost_uid0]Quark: He's really going.
Kira: He's really going.
Monrow: He's really going.
Odo: What part of no didn't these people get?[/quoteost_uid0]
Hehe, this and all the other scenes with Odo/random person trying to convince him to stay. Been awhile since I read WYCBT, I am still hoping for more episodes someday.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Opaka: Very, very, very prettyful. Now why don't we all chill in dis here hood, yo?
Sisko, Bashir, and Kira: ...?
[/quoteost_uid0]

BWAHAHAHA! I nearly fell off my chair!

[quoteost_uid0]Zlangco: Here for the "cease fire talks?"
Sisko: It disturbs me that you--
Shel-la: As opposed to the cease fire talks? Yes, I'm here for the "cease fire talks."
Sisko: Hey, guys, guys--
Zlangco: That's good, because I'm here on behalf of PETE: People Eating Tasty Ennis. En garde!
[/quoteost_uid0]

Yeah, "cease fire"... It`s good they haven`t been using the air quotes in the episode...

Very, very funny fiver!

Will have to read a little bit of WYCBT before reading "Linked"... Sadly, I know *nothing* about WYCBT.

And as for "The WoW"... WoW!

[quoteost_uid0]Jadzia: The Klingon ship has the freighter in a tractor beam.
Sisko: Hail them! You Klingon bastards, this is Ben Sisko of the Federation starship so much more powerful than yours it's not funny. Release my floozy!
Kasidy: (over the comm) Excuse me?
Sisko: ...Dax, did you hail the freighter instead of the Klingons?
Jadzia: All you said was "them"!
[/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]Sisko: I think I know what to do. Curzon once told me that the only ones who can handle Klingons are Klingons.
Jadzia: He said that about the Dutch.
Sisko: I was paraphrasing.
[/quoteost_uid0]

Indeed. The Dutch are evil,

[quoteost_uid0]Martok: You took my son's d'k tahg!
Worf: Just getting your attention. (stabs it into the table)
Martok: I will have this dagger, thank you.
Worf: So what's the fleet really doing here? You can tell a fellow Klingon.
Martok: You're right. Show me one and I'll tell him.
[/quoteost_uid0]

A great joke,

[quoteost_uid0]Huraga: Why the fleet is here? Well... I suppose I can tell you. You did get me drunk and all.
Worf: I pride myself on my honourable tactics.
[/quoteost_uid0]

Heheheh.

[quoteost_uid0]Bashir: This is bad.
Worf: You don't know the half of it. I think my people are having a wave of Original Series nostalgia.
O'Brien: You mean we could be next?
Worf: And after you, those damn Organians.
Sisko: Well, Starfleet hasn't taken an official position yet. So we need to figure out something unofficial to do. Something... sneaky.
Quark: (over the comm) Did I hear someone call me?
Sisko: Close, but no. Get Garak.
[/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]Worf: (checks) A forehead-smoother! I knew it! [/quoteost_uid0]

::bursts lung laughing::

[quoteost_uid0]Sisko: Kasidy... you're not a shapeshifter, are you?
Kasidy: (Whew!) Nope. Definitely not a shapeshifter. Want me to bleed for you?
Sisko: I'll settle for a saliva check.
[/quoteost_uid0]

Hysterical,

And my favourite scene (although it`s difficult to choose, especially from Part II, which is brilliant):

[quoteost_uid0]Garak: The Klingons are coming! The Klingons are coming!
Dukat: (over the comm) You've told us that five times now as a joke.
Garak: I swear it's true this time!
Dukat: All right, I'll mobilize the fleet again. But if you're lying, you're officially the Boy Who Cried Worf.
[/quoteost_uid0]

Ahem... GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Fantastic job, Zeke. Indescribably funny, [/colorost_uid0]