30th Anniversary TNG Episode Discussion Marathon

[Nate the Great]

February 12th, 1990, "A Matter of Perspective"

Fiver (by Kira)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

DATA: While suggesting the free treatment of form usually attributed to Fauvism, this quite inappropriately attempts to juxtapose the disparate cubistic styles of Picasso and Leger. In addition, the use of colour suggests a haphazard mélange of clashing styles. Furthermore, the unsettling overtones of proto-Vulcan influences
PICARD: Thank you, Mister Data.

Data's literalism and absence of guile can be a double-edged sword. Even so, art is more than technique analysis. Just like "Ode to Spot", technically perfect doesn't mean enjoyable.

Captain's log, Stardate 43610.4. After completing a delivery of dicosilium to the Tanuga Four research station, our away team has received an update from Doctor Nel Apgar on his efforts to create Krieger Waves, a potentially valuable new power source.

It seems odd that Riker and Geordi would be left alone for a mission like this. Another engineer (in fact, this seems like a job for Reg, if he existed at this point) or a security officer seems like a good idea. I do hate how often away team members are always senior officers. Even TOS had a specialist extra every now and then!

O'BRIEN: Transporter Room to Engineering. I have a power drain.

A phaser beam hitting the annular confinement beam creates a power drain? Just say that there's unexpected interference!

RIKER: Captain, may I have a word with you?
PICARD: Under these circumstances, Number One, I think that would be inappropriate.

Good for Picard. He gave Will a chance before he was formally charged, but Will refused.

WORF: Commander, sensors indicate a radiation burst on deck thirty nine, outside cargo bay twelve.
DATA: Source?
WORF: Unknown, sir.
DATA: Computer, identify type of radiation.
COMPUTER: Emission is not consistent with any known radiation.

I find this odd. Isn't the entire radiation spectrum mapped in the future? At least say that this kind doesn't come from any known device or astronomical phenomenon?

WESLEY: What kind of radiation could do this? Make any sense to you?
LAFORGE: I don't recognise it. Not even the main deflector puts out that kind of spillage.
WESLEY: Where would it be coming from?
LAFORGE: I don't know, Wes, but whatever it is, it's capable of putting a hole in solid duranium.

This is just weird. Do Kreiger waves phase in and out in "wavelengths", and only things at a peak or trough are damaged?

RIKER: We can't both be telling the truth.
TROI: It is the truth as each of you remembers it.
RIKER: But her version puts a noose around my neck.

Insert typical rant about how Troi's powers work here.

CRUSHER: If they're right, we should be able to predict the next event.
LAFORGE: We're expecting it in just over five hours.
PICARD: Take every precaution to protect the ship's vital areas.

How? They're not sure how the radiation works or where it will strike at this point.

PICARD: Of course he's innocent. But as a Starfleet Captain, I can't allow myself the luxury of yielding to my personal feelings. The evidence warrants a trial. I'll have to allow extradition.
TROI: Do you think there's enough evidence to prove his innocence?
PICARD: No.

This is one time when being the anti-Kirk is the right thing to do. Our heroes have to obey the laws of the locals, no matter what they are.

RIKER: But the holodeck can't create anything dangerous.
LAFORGE: Well, it didn't. When you get down to basics, the converter is nothing more than a complex series of mirrors and reflective coils. The energy from the field generator down on the planet simply reflects off of elements in the convertor which turns it into highly focused Krieger waves.

I'll accept that the holodeck could reproduce the mirrors and reflective coils. But the specific elements that these components are made of? No. It would be like the real thing being glass and the holoprogram being plastic.

The Fiver

Inspector Krag: I'm here to take that scumball off your hands.
Picard: Certainly. Wesley's over there.
Krag: Not him -- the useless one.
Picard: Counsellor, you heard the man.
Krag: No! I mean Riker.
Picard: Oh. Well, you can't have him...are you sure you don't want Wesley?

Good joke, but I question the classification of Wesley as "scumball". Wouldn't "nuisance" or "criminal" or "idiot" work better?

Riker: They're lying! I'm innocent! Innocent, I tell you! You believe me, right Troi?
Troi: I'm sure you'll make lots of new friends in prison.
Riker: I thought you were here for moral support.
Troi: Meh. I wonder what Worf's doing tonight....

It's a bit early in the series for that joke, isn't it?

Memory Alpha

* The Kreiger waves were supposed to create "a field that suppressed the strong nuclear force, making any matter exposed to it fissionable". I'm glad they chucked this, because what would this do except make impulse engines more efficient?

Nitpicker's Guide

* If O'Brien can detect a firing weapon mid-transport (see "The Most Toys"), why couldn't he debunk that theory here? Furthermore, if Riker was beamed out while firing his phaser, why didn't he beam in holding a deactivated phaser?
* Do Kreiger waves phase in and out, or are they continuous? Either theory introduces nits.

[Nate the Great]

February 19th, 1990, "Yesterday's Enterprise"

Fiver (by Marc)
Memory Alpha
Transcript

The Episode

GUINAN: You see? It's an Earth drink. Prune juice.
WORF: A warrior's drink.

The start of a classic. I'll just toss in Quark scoffing at the order here.

WORF: I would require a Klingon woman for companionship. Earth females are too fragile.

Given later events with Troi and Dax (and Dax...), I question this line. I'll lump the Daxes here since we have no indication that Trill are supposed to be more durable than humans. It's interesting that Worf is still on his romance=sex=marriage kick. Furthermore, since when does romance require sex as a component? Is this just another example of Gene's free-love future?

I'd also like to bring up the aborted Worf/Selar plotline. Where did Worf get the idea that his only alternative to a Klingon woman is a human woman? Just going by the expanded universe, a few Federation races that come to mind as durable and plausible alternative are Rigellians (the Zami, particularly), Bolians, and Lurians.

GUINAN: Not all of them. There are a few on this ship that would find you tame.

I'm a mild Worf/Yar shipper, and that comes to mind here. One also wonders if Jadzia finds him tame.

DATA: It does not have a discernible event horizon.
WESLEY: Sir, navigational subsystems are unable to give coordinates on the object.
DATA: Confirmed. The phenomenon does not have a definable centre or outer edge.
RIKER: Are you saying it is and yet it isn't there?

What does this exchange do except annoy me? This thing exists, it has effects, triangulating a center shouldn't be that hard!

RIKER: There's no record of the Romulans ever assaulting the Enterprise C.

I fully admit that this one is very petty. Is this really the sort of thing that would be taught to officers as a need-to-know factoid?

PICARD: Avoid all discussions of where and when they are.

How? If anything this seems like a time when you'd beam over some anesthezine gas, treat them while unconscious, then put them in stasis until you decide what to do with them.

GUINAN: Families. There should be children on this ship.
PICARD: What? Children on the Enterprise?

"Why would Starfleet give me a ship full of kids when I'm on record as disliking them? And why would there be families here when we're never more than a week from a starbase? It's not like we're supposed to leave Federation space for twenty years, that would be crazy!"

CREWWOMAN [OC]: Doctor Selar, report to pathology ward stat. Doctor Selar, report to pathology ward stat.

So Dr. Selar only appeared once because Suzie Plakson was recast as K'ehlyer. My question is...so? Jeffery Combs appeared over and over in Trek! Plus the Vulcan makeup and Klingon makeup are different enough that anyone who would care about recycling actors wouldn't notice!

GARRETT: We were responding to a distress call from the Klingon outpost on Narendra Three. The Romulans were attacking it. We engaged them, but there were four warbirds.

No matter what specific class these are, four seems like overkill for a Klingon outpost or one Federation starship. Two would seem adequate for overwhelming odds.

TASHA: She was the first Galaxy Class warship built by the Federation.

We know that the E-D was at least the third of the Galaxy-class in "our" timeline, it seems odd that it would change in the altered timeline. The tradition of naming the first ship after the class doesn't seem likely to have changed in the alternate timeline.

Of course, the biggest problem is why you would design a "warship" of this shape. Wouldn't a more efficient design for battle be used? Something closer to the Nebula-class, for example?

TASHA: Capable of transporting over six thousand troops.

It's an interesting question: how much extra space could you make by eliminating all the jumbo-sized quarters, classrooms, civilian-run science labs, etc.? Furthermore, the use of "transporting" raises another question: Is the six thousand the standard ships compliment, or is that only for short-term use, i.e. moving troops akin to the massive evacuations in "our" universe?

GUINAN: Forty billion people have already died.

According to Memory Alpha, in the prime timeline there were 985 billion people in the Federation in 2370. 40 billion is four percent. In WWII it was more like 10-15% for the countries that had the most combat. So, horrifying as it sounds, 40 billion is TOO LOW.

TASHA: Deflector shield technology has advanced considerably during the war. Our heat dissipation rates are probably double those of the Enterprise-C, which means we can hang in a firefight a lot longer.

Why is she saying this? I doubt the Federation has the time to completely replace the E-C's shield grid, as most of the hull would have to be removed. If she's still operating on the principle of the E-D going back to help the E-C against the Romulans, remember FOUR warbirds!

TASHA: Standard rations. Food replicators are on minimum power, so everything else is diverted to defensive systems.

You can't live on rations forever. Even the Army doesn't intend for MRE's to be a long-term basis for a soldier's diet. Three weeks max, in fact. Just toss in a line saying that since battle is expected in the next few days we're stockpiling energy for the next few days!

TASHA: The Enterprise-C would be outmanned and outgunned.
LAFORGE: Unless we were to re-arm them with modern--

How? The E-D doesn't have the supplies, time or capability to refit the E-C. At best, with a few days, MAYBE they could refit their torpedoes to fit the E-C.

RIKER: Sir, Lieutenant Castillo is the last surviving senior officer. He will have limited support from Ops, no Tactical, reduced staff in Engineering.

Will the writers please stop pretending that the crew consists solely of senior officers and the ensign/enlisted plebes? PLEASE? If Worf was killed, he would have an assistant who can step up and take his place. He shouldn't have taken Data's place in "The Most Toys" as a matter of fact.

GUINAN: But I do know it was an empty death. A death without purpose.

A worthwhile purpose, anyway. I think that we can agree that "to amuse Armus" doesn't count as worthwhile.

PICARD: Attention all hands. As you know, we could outrun the Klingon vessels, but we must protect the Enterprise-C until she enters the temporal rift. And we must succeed. Let's make sure history never forgets the name Enterprise. Picard out.

And history never will. I just hope that the original universe is remembered more than that Kelvin nonsense...

The Fiver

Guinan: Would you like some 200-proof chech'tluth?
Worf: A wussie's drink. Got anything stronger...like prune juice?
Guinan: Yes, but I'll need to see some I.D. first.

You'll remember chech'tluth as the steaming stuff Worf orders in "Up The Long Ladder."

Data: What we are seeing is a temporal rift in space.
Picard: Are you sure it isn't a spatial rift in time?
Data: Same difference.

I get the joke, but I'm not sure a "spacial rift in time" is possible. Maybe a hyperspacial rift...

Picard: So what is the real timeline supposed to be like?
Guinan: You're supposed to have children on the ship and a Betazoid Counselor.
Picard: Good Lord, how horrible!

Should've used merde, but it's still terrifying...

Castillo: These standard rations taste like cardboard.
Yar: It's been a long war. We're down to eating empty cereal boxes.

When the Mythbusters tried to make mice live on cereal boxes, they ate each other instead. Just delivering your pleasant thought for the day...

Guinan: (over the comm) Bridge, is everything cool up there?
Picard: You mean are we at peace with the Klingons? Of course.
Guinan: And is Counselor Troi with you?
Picard: Yes, but she's not saying anything today.

"We're keeping her mouth busy eating chocolate. The icing is all the box tops I'll get!"

Guinan: Geordi, were you ever attracted to Tasha Yar?
La Forge: No, but I've always fantasized about meeting a blonde Romulan....

Eww! Tasha was busy enough with Worf, Data, and Wesley (in the comics). And La Forge and Sela….ewww!

Memory Alpha

* The creator forgot to add the "transition to a new timeline" thing at the end of the episode.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil brings up the contraction between "The Neutral Zone" (the Romulans were isolationist for the last fifty years) and this episode (they attacked twenty years ago).

[Flying Gremlin]

This is one of my favorites.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

One also wonders if Jadzia finds him tame.

An interesting premise. Probably a lot of sex is tame for joined Trill, considering they remember it all. Also, with how Curzon is remembered and his... appetites, having a few Klingon women in there would not be out of the question as appealing.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

I fully admit that this one is very petty. Is this really the sort of thing that would be taught to officers as a need-to-know factoid?

Trivia about the other ships to bear the name Enterprise is not exactly that far-fetched, especially about how the last one was lost and if it was while doing something prideful.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

How? If anything this seems like a time when you'd beam over some anesthezine gas, treat them while unconscious, then put them in stasis until you decide what to do with them.

Despite this being one of my favorites of the series, this has always bugged me too. If nothing else, why not have them use older style uniforms, then? Temporal Prime Directive and all that.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

So Dr. Selar only appeared once because Suzie Plakson was recast as K'ehlyer. My question is...so? Jeffery Combs appeared over and over in Trek! Plus the Vulcan makeup and Klingon makeup are different enough that anyone who would care about recycling actors wouldn't notice!

Watch your mouth, pinkskin.

That preceding joke is so wonderfully meta, I could not help it.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

No matter what specific class these are, four seems like overkill for a Klingon outpost or one Federation starship. Two would seem adequate for overwhelming odds.

There's no kill quite like overkill.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

RIKER: Sir, Lieutenant Castillo is the last surviving senior officer. He will have limited support from Ops, no Tactical, reduced staff in Engineering.

Seriously? NOTHING about the guy being Christopher McDonald? The guy that played, among other things, Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore? I am disappoint.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

* Phil brings up the contraction between "The Neutral Zone" (the Romulans were isolationist for the last fifty years) and this episode (they attacked twenty years ago).

While a good point, I always got the distinct impression that during the time of isolation, the only places Romulans were seen were either away from the Federation or in places where no Federation citizens were left to tell the tale, either by death or capture. Whether that was just an impression I took as fact or reality, I cannot say.

[Nate the Great]

Never watched Happy Gilmore.

[Flying Gremlin]

I'd drop my monocle into my glass of champagne in shock at that admission, but I admitted to watching Happy Gilmore, so that would never happen on several different levels.

[Nate the Great]

March 12th, 1990, "The Offspring"

Fiver (by saxamaphone)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

I'd never heard of saxamaphone. Apparently he was around in the early days, but mostly stuck to the game threads which I avoided. This was probably also before Marc took over NextGen.

Oh, and I'll be chainsawing this thing apart as usual, but most of it is the Treknobabble stuff, there are good performances here.

The Episode

Captain's log, Stardate 43657.0 While Commander Riker is away on personal leave, the Enterprise has travelled to sector three nine six to begin charting the Selebi Asteroid Belt.

This is extremely petty, but I don't like it when the flagship is given this type of mission. This is what small science vessels are for, or the Excelsior class at most. I understand that this episode is about character work and not action, but at least think of something that needs the resources of the flagship!

Furthermore, an asteroid belt? You don't even need a starship for that sort of thing, just send some probes! At least toss in a line that justifies why this asteroid belt needs a bigger ship. Maybe it's near the Romulan border, maybe it's a known hiding place for Orion pirates, something!

TROI: It's not like Data to be so secretive.
WESLEY: And cautious. He kept the lab locked every minute.

I guess we're supposed to chalk this up to pre-emotions on Data's part. It's definitely been implied by previous events that finding a way to make working sentient androids is a matter of utility and not fame (except for Maddox, of course). Why wouldn't Data share his project, at least with Geordi? Surely by now he knows that from time to time a second set of eyes (no joke implied) are important in problem-solving.

I admit to being curious as to the level of "lockness" that Data is using. Surely the writer is implying something beyond the usual "the doors won't open unless you're an authorized user or allowed in by an authorized user." The easiest answer would be an extra external lock applied to the door by Data himself, but that doesn't seem likely. Equally implausible is that he is working from an external "public" lab and not his own personal lab, a lab that isn't supposed to be locked under normal circumstances.

LAL: Purpose for exterior drapings, Father?
WESLEY: (mouthed only) Father?
DATA: It is an accepted custom that we wear clothing.

Ugh! Repeat previous comments about memorizing all of Earth knowledge if not all of Federation knowledge here. Lal must have an interior dictionary to know what words are and how to use them, the interior dictionary would be connected to an interior encyclopedia for deeper knowledge. You can't do this sort of thing! Lal clearly has access to an English dictionary because she doesn't have to be taught how to speak!

You could easily turn this topic in a slightly more thoughtful direction by having Lal remark that the reasons that humans use clothes don't apply to androids as they don't need clothes and don't have sex drives or get embarrassed. Data can then explain that this doesn't matter, humans get awkward around naked people and wearing clothes makes it easier to interact with them.

DATA: True, but here was a new submicron matrix transfer technology introduced at the conference which I discovered could be used to lay down complex neural net pathways.

I get what they're going for, but the problem as I saw it wasn't making the positronic brain more complicated across the board, it was making it sentient! In addition, how did Data get the plans for these "complex neural net pathways"? Did he tell the computer to deactivate him, do the scan, and then activate him? Can Data move all of himself from RAM into ROM? That seems doubtful. Could he temporarily move himself into the ship's computer to free up his positronic brain to be scanned? Equally doubtful.

PICARD: Data, I would like to have been consulted.
DATA: I have not observed anyone else on board consulting you about their procreation, Captain.

Whether Data or Picard is right depends on your interpretation of Federation humanity's ideals. A big landmine is whether or not you can call what Data is doing true procreation in a sense that's legally defendable.

Then again, there must be Federation members that are truly asexual (in the physiological sense) and depend on external mechanisms (no matter how primitive) to procreate. There's a discussion to be had here.

TROI: Why didn't you give it a more human look, Data?
DATA: I decided to allow my child to choose its own sex and appearance.

Another philosophical and religious minefield. Let's skip to the chase: for androids wouldn't this sort of thing be easy enough to mod via refit? The notion that this is a one-time deal that can't be changed later is absurd.

PICARD: I insist we do whatever we can to discourage the perception of this new android as a child. It is not a child. It is an invention, albeit an extraordinary one.
TROI: Why should biology rather than technology determine whether it is a child? Data has created an offspring. A new life out of his own being. To me, that suggests a child. If he wishes to call Lal his child, then who are we to argue?

Given the events of "Measure of a Man", Picard's opinion here seems unusual. Couldn't we have brought in a minor character (one of Crusher's nurses?) who could've been the scapegoat?

PICARD: Well, if he must, but I fail to understand how a five foot android with heuristic learning systems and the strength of a ten men can be called a child.

Ten men? I think Data's stronger than that. And the last time I checked, "child" wasn't a definition based on ultimate mental or physical potential.

PICARD: Have you any idea what will happen when Starfleet learns about this?
DATA: I have followed all of Starfleet regulations to the best of my ability. I expected they would be pleased.

There are Starfleet regulations for this? Surely this would fall under "there aren't Starfleet orders about it because we didn't expect anyone would do it!"

LAL: I am gender neuter. Inadequate.

Oh boy, another minefield! Seriously, this is the wrong word to be using here. "Incomplete" would even have been a better word. Surely Data's plan to let her choose would've been in her initial programming.

LAL: I choose your sex and appearance.
DATA: No, Lal. That would be confusing.

And illegal, as I'm pretty sure the "no holograms of real people without permission" thing extends in more directions, just like our laws about using the images of others today.

DATA: We are taking you to the holodeck to show you several thousand composites I have programmed.

That's one thing that will get (even more) annoying in the future: so many options that you get paralyzed.

DATA: An Andorian female.
TROI: Interesting. You'll be the only one on board the Enterprise, Lal.
DATA: That could make socialisation more difficult.

Ugh. You can only be close friends with people of your own species? That's absurd and completely Anti-Federation thinking. Also, 1012 people on board and not one Andorian? They do remember that Andor was a founding member, right?

DATA: A human male.
TROI: Very attractive. There's no problem with socialisation here.

Seriously, physically attractive=socially active? Yikes is there a lot to unpack in that single sentence. I'm getting flashbacks of "Is There in Truth No Beauty" here...

DATA: A Klingon male.
TROI: A friend for Worf.

More racism? And for Worf? Have we ever seen him have trouble making friends (higher lifeforms, body-swappers, and Romulans don't count)? Of course not, he believes in the Federation ideals that Troi is throwing out the window for this entire scene!

DATA: I have completed the assembly of the replicated anatomy. I was able to provide Lal with more realistic skin and eye colour than my own.

Is Data's skin not replaceable or modifiable? First Contact suggests otherwise. This line implies that Data is displeased with his appearance, but it would be easy to fix!

LAL: Home. Place of residence. Social unit formed by a family living together.
DATA: Yes. We are a family, Lal. Chair. To sit in. Sit. Good. Painting.
LAL: Painting. Colours produced on a surface by applying a pigment.
DATA: Yes. I will teach you to recognise the artistry in paintings.

Lal's habit of defining everything she sees was never funny. (Neither was Data's, to be honest) Oh, and Lal didn't define "painting" correctly. You aren't applying a "pigment" to the surface (or even producing colors i.e. a chemical change to the surface), you're applying a material that contains pigment to a surface. Hey, if she's going to parroting dictionary entries at me I want them to be accurate!

DATA: No, that is a flower, Lal. Inhale.

I hope Data kept a live flower around to show her, because he wouldn't need one otherwise.

WESLEY: What does Lal do while you're on duty?
DATA: She studies in our quarters.

Does she read PADDs or just jack herself into the wall?

[Nate the Great]

CRUSHER [OC]: Doctor Crusher to Ensign Crusher. Aren't you supposed to be getting a hair cut, Wesley?

Is this an official duty as chief medical officer, or did she just make a personal call on company time? And wouldn't it be more embarrassing for her to ask Mr. Mot to page Wes? She's really dropping the ball...

LAL: Why do we have two hands? Why not three or four? Why is the sky black? Why do
(He switches her off in mid-question)

I get the joke, but after what we went through in "Measure of a Man" I find this insensitive. You stun a kid with a phaser just for asking questions. Plus, all this stuff should've been in the initial encyclopedia Data put in her brain.

PICARD: I assure you, Admiral, there's no better guide into this life for Lal than Data.

I find myself wondering if Data had an equivalent to Dr. Mora who could be called...

PICARD: This starship's mission is to seek out new life and that is exactly what Commander Data is doing.

No, it's not. Data is parenting, not exploring. Unless you're going to call all parents explorers...

PICARD: As do I. I would be willing to consider releasing Lal and Data to you so that he may continue his work with her.
HAFTEL [on monitor]: His presence would undoubtedly retard the new android's progress.

Where did Haftel get that idea? Is there a history of androids being lousy teachers for other androids?

PICARD: Admiral, to you, Lal is a new android. But to Data, she's his child.
HAFTEL [on monitor]: His child?

Yadda yadda yadda should've been in Picard's report yadda yadda yadda...

HAFTEL [on monitor]: Starfleet's policy on research is clear. You're making your stand on very uncertain ground.

Really? There is policy on teaching blank slate androids? I'm gonna need to hear more if you want to make me agree with that argument...

BALLARD: It isn't working out that way.
(She shows him the classroom. Lal is standing by the wall while the children are around a table together)
BALLARD: The children were afraid of her.

Thank goodness, a realistic action. Things that look like adults but acting like children would be scary to them. She talks weird, moves her head weird, and talks to herself a lot. What kid would want to hang out with that kind of person?

The problem is that we're supposed to belief that children in the future don't need to grief and take calculus at a young age AND belief this stuff at the same time. Sorry, but that doesn't work. At the least have her project herself into a hologram during a field trip to the holodeck. Don't tell me Data couldn't do that!

LAL: Why would they wish to be unkind?
DATA: Because you are different. Differences sometimes scare people. I have learned that some of them use humour to hide their fear.
LAL: I do not want to be different.

There's a lot to unpack here about when it's okay to conform and when it's not, but that would be depressing even to me.

DATA: I do not know how to help her. Lal is passing into sentience. It is perhaps the most difficult stage of her development.

Ugh. Lal was sentient from the moment she woke up. It was the wrong word to use here. "Maturity" would've been much better.

DATA: I have not told Lal how difficult it was for me to assimilate. I did not wish it to discourage her. Perhaps this was an error of judgement.
CRUSHER: You didn't have any one experienced to help you through sentience. She at least has you. Just help her realise that she's not alone, and be there to nurture her when she needs love and attention.
DATA: I can give her attention, Doctor. But I am incapable of giving her love.
(Data leaves)
CRUSHER: Now why do I find that so hard to believe?

Good scene.

(Picard is in bed, resting)
WORF [OC]: Captain, incoming signal. Starfleet priority one. Admiral Haftel.
PICARD: On my monitor, Lieutenant. Admiral.
HAFTEL [on monitor]: Captain Picard, I hope I didn't disturb you.
PICARD: Not at all.

Ugh. I had a rant about time differences between ships and planets started, but I gave up. Let's just chalk Haftel's remark up to courtesy and move on...

HAFTEL [on monitor]: I should advise you, Captain, that if I'm not satisfied with what I see, I am empowered to take the android back with me.

Empowered? We proved last season that Data isn't the property of Starfleet, so why doesn't that apply to Lal? Or are you going to tell me that if Lal isn't determined to be sentient she belongs to Starfleet? Yeah, no. In that case she belongs to Data, who I'm sure requisitioned the supplies from his own account.

Captain's log, supplemental. We are holding position pending the arrival of Admiral Haftel from Starfleet Research. Commander Data is completing his final neural transfers to the android he has named Lal, which I have learned, in the language Hindi means beloved.

Way too late to share this factoid. Way, WAY too late.

LAL: I am functioning within normal. I am fine, thank you.

Nice touch, if a bit late in the episode for it...

LAL: Father says I would learn a great deal from working with someone as old as you.
GUINAN: You're hired.

You don't get to be half a millennium old without developing a sense of humor, do you? Or going insane, I guess...

LAL: I've been programmed with a listing of fourteen hundred and twelve known beverages.

Forget the contraction, the Federation has only heard of 1412 beverages? Let's say the Federation has 150 members, that's only ten beverages per world. That figure needs to be an order of magnitude higher, if not TWO orders of magnitude!

GUINAN: You said I've instead of I have.
DATA: It is a skill my programme has never mastered.
LAL: Then I will desist.
DATA: No. You have exceeded my abilities.

Always hated the contraction bit, but I've already preached long and hard on that issue...

PICARD: He believes the Daystrom annex on Galor Four would be more suitable.

Putting aside the question of why the Cardassians would name a class of starships after a Federation world, I was surprised at how much the expanded universe uses Galor IV, particularly the RPG modules. Of course the interesting part is that according to some this planet was once known as Mudd's World (see "I, Mudd"). If the Federation could study the androids there, what took Soong so long?

DATA: Then he is questioning my ability as a parent.
PICARD: In a manner of speaking.
DATA: Does the Admiral have children?
PICARD: Yes, I believe he does, Data. Why?
DATA: I am forced to wonder how much experience he had as a parent when his first child was born.

Another nice touch. Not to be too cynical, but I gotta ask: does Discovery have conversations like this? Or the Kelvinverse, for that matter?

(A couple by the far wall are gazing into each others eyes and holding hands)
GUINAN: You see?
LAL: What are they doing?
GUINAN: It's called flirting.

Not sure this can be called "flirting".

LAL: He's biting that female!

Always a great line, but it's time for that downloaded dictionary rant again...

LAL: Why are they leaving?
GUINAN: Lal, there are some things your father's just going to have to explain to you when he thinks you're ready.

I'm pretty sure Data downloaded "The Talk" into her already, although you gotta wonder when he would decide that she's experienced enough to experience sexual intimacy for herself. Although Guinan's line is great, it's the wrong thing to say in this situation.

(Guinan moves away, and Riker comes in. Lal promptly starts flirting, and her voice deepens)
RIKER: You're new around here, aren't you?
LAL: Yes.
(She reaches across the bar, pulls Riker towards herself and kisses him. Data enters)
GUINAN: Lal! Lal, put him down.
DATA: Commander, what are your intentions toward my daughter?
RIKER: Your daughter? Nice to meet you.
(He beats a hasty exit)

Great scene, and a great teaser for a TNG sitcom...