30th Anniversary TNG Episode Discussion Marathon

[Nate the Great]

May 13th, 1991, "The Host"

I've said it before and I'll say it again, they should've called the DS9 race something else. It's another case of "the people who didn't watch 'The Host' won't care, and the ones that did will question why so many changes were made."

Fiver by Marc

The Episode

Doctor Beverly Crusher, personal log, stardate 44821.3. Began an analysis today of the respiratory problems being experienced on the beta moon of Peliar Zel. Finally got an actual letter from Wesley. Topped the class in exo-biology, but he's still struggling in Ancient Philosophies. And there's someone new in my life.

One wonders if the Ancient Philosophies are all human, or if they actually talk about Surak and such.

CRUSHER: I'll set you up at the medical monitor, Data. It'll take you a while to input the figures, won't it?
DATA: At least an hour, but I do not believe much time can be saved by exhibiting such haste now.

Really? Can't Data hook himself to the computer and "think" the data into it?

ODAN: Do you know, when I first met the formidable Doctor Beverly, what, ten days ago? I thought to myself, this woman is ice through to her bones. Who would have ever guessed that instead of ice, there is fire.

Beverly doesn't seem like the type to fall in love this fast.

TROI: It's Ambassador Odan. I continually feel fluctuations of emotion from him.
PICARD: Perhaps it's perfectly normal among the Trill.
TROI: It could be. We know so very little about them.

This seems like one of those cases where more information would be required before sexual liasons are approved. Goodness, am I saying that NextGen should be more like Voyager? Is it Opposite Day?

CRUSHER: I am a grown up and I know the difference between love and infatuation. All I know is, I haven't felt this way for a long time.

"Transfigurations" was ten months ago. Whether that counts as "a long time" is a discussion that I'll skip.

ODAN: Captain, you know her better than I. Do you have any idea how committed she is to remaining with Starfleet?
PICARD: I wouldn't presume to speak for her.
ODAN: Oh no, of course not. I just thought, well, you've known her so much long than I.

We don't actually know when she met Picard. She met Jack Crusher in 2347 or 2348, so it's probably been twenty years or so. The "Generations" photo album has Picard's invitation to her wedding to Jack, although it has other mistakes.

ODAN: If you transport me, it will kill me. Please.

Another thing that should've been in the initial briefing, and another thing that DS9 ignored. The simplest solution is that he was just lying and wanted to hide his symbiote (although in this case, I think "parasite" is more applicable) from them.

ODAN: This body is just a host. I am that parasite. That is what must survive. It has always been this way. The Trill are a joined species. A host and a symbiont, and in this fashion we have survived for millennia.
CRUSHER: You're dying. What can I do?
ODAN: The host body is dying. You must contact the Trill quickly. Tell them I need another host. They will send a replacement.

The implication that the host doesn't matter is unsetting. Does this version of the Trill labgrow humanoid bodies for the symbiotes to walk around in?

DATA: Would it be possible for me to serve as a temporary carrier?

Data, how is that even remotely possible? You're an idiot, or maybe it's just the writers.

RIKER/ODAN: It never occurred to me. This is what I am. Did you ever tell me that you are only a single being? Of course not. That was normal to you.

This is beyond idiotic. I don't buy this sort of argument for a second. The Trill deliberately hid this aspect of their biology until it was necessary to talk, so they must've known how other species would react.

CRUSHER: You know, Deanna, the first man I ever loved unconditionally was named Stefan.

Maybe it's just cause I've never been in love, but the idea of loving "unconditionally" is a little unsettling to me. Forgiving absolutely everything seems like something a doormat or victim of abuse would say.

CRUSHER: I feel his pull. It's very powerful. I wish he'd never come on this ship.
TROI: Don't wish that, Beverly. You can't be open to love if you don't risk pain.

I get the message, but this doesn't seem like the place for it.

RIKER/ODAN: Can you make balso tonic?
COMPUTER: There is no formula on record. Please supply a molecular structure.
RIKER/ODAN: Never mind.

Did joining with Will make you stupid, Odan? Your people are isolationist, of course they haven't shared replicator patterns!

CRUSHER: Perhaps it is a human failing, but we are not accustomed to these kinds of changes. I can't keep up. How long will you have this host? What would the next one be? I can't live with that kind of uncertainty. Perhaps, someday, our ability to love won't be so limited.
KAREEL/ODAN: I understand.

So they make the new host a woman to subvert expectations, but they decide to do nothing with it? What's the point? They can't have Beverly expressing homophobia outright, they can't declare that all Trill are bisexual, nothing?

On the whole this almost seems like a plot that would've worked better in the Voyager days when things were a little looser.

The Fiver

Troi: Beverly, are you sure your feelings for Odan aren't just an infatuation?
Beverly: I don't think they are -- though I admit that I do have a weakness for men with long, dark, wavy hair.

Where did this come from? Ronin is the closest to this description, and his hair barely reached his shoulders.

Odan: Before I shuttle down to the negotiations, I have a gift for you -- a pair of Trill earrings.
Crusher: They're lovely! But...how could you have bought them for me? We hadn't met before you came aboard.
Odan: Actually, they're mine. I mean, uh, they're sort of an old family heirloom. Yes, that's it.

The fiver tradition of characters being lousy liars lives on.

Crusher: The Ambassador's in shock, he's lost as lot of blood....
Nurse Ogawa: ...and he also seems to be pregnant.
Crusher: But that's impossible! We were really carefu--

"We even put condoms on the magic telepathic rocks!"

Blerg, "Unexpected" was a real stinker.

Riker/Odan: Will you allow me to serve as mediator?
Alpha Moon Delegate: Not if you are acceptable to the Beta delegate!
Beta Moon Delegate: Not if you are acceptable to the Alpha delegate!
Riker/Odan: Since each of you finds me unacceptable, does this mean that you both agree to my offer of service?
Both Delegates: Of course.
Leka: (aside to Picard) He's good.

I wonder if Marc is a Phantom Tollbooth fan. I was shocked to see that his last visit was in 2005...

Crusher: I was, uh, thinking that...if Deanna were to be attracted to Worf, that would hypothetically make it all right for me to be interested in you.
Riker/Odan: And how likely is that, do you think?

Troi/Worf won't really be a thing for another couple seasons, and I never did like the pairing. Then again, I never really liked Dax/Worf either.

Memory Alpha

* They had to shoot around McFadden's pregnancy. You'd think they'd put off the script until next season for that reason.
* The creators had to answer the questions of homophobia. Marvin Rush's explanation might make sense if they had actually devoted some screentime to it. But they didn't, so it sure looks like homophobia was a factor.

Fan attempts to reconcile the Trill contradiction

* There really are two different species that just happen to both be called Trill. This wouldn't necessarily be without precedence, given the Xindi and Rigellians, among others.
* Apparently there's a short story that declares "Host"-style Trills to be a subspecies. Someone compares it to Pon Farr being unknown before "Amok Time". I call that one very easy to reconcile, they stated in the episodes that outsiders aren't told and until Spock joined Starfleet it was never allowed to be a factor/
* Ex Astris Scientia tackles the question. They also bring up the reassociation issue which hadn't occurred to me.
* The fans at Jammer's Reviews tackle the episode. I find the notion that Pulaski would be more accepting intriguing (even if I don't quite buy it). Another fan raises the valid point that if the host is just a puppet being driven around by the symbiote, why would they care about having sex with a humanoid? Another correctly points out that Trill hosts are treated as slaves by the symbionts.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Odan called himself a parasite, in case any of the viewers missed the point. Awkward.
* Phil has some interesting points on the TNG/DS9 disconnect, but they've been covered elsewhere for the most part.
* Our heroes are handling the parasite thing rather well considering the events of "Conspiracy" and "Identity Crisis", aren't they?
* Why didn't Beverly implant Odan into herself for a short time?

[Nate the Great]

May 27th, 1991, "The Mind's Eye"

Fiver by Kira


The Episode

LAFORGE: How about a game, computer?
COMPUTER: Please restate request.
LAFORGE: Something to pass the time, you know, a diversion.

I'm irked at this exchange. I'll forgive the lack of traditional computer games in the NextGen era, remember that in 1991 we were still in the 16-bit era. But Geordi should've prepared a game or movie for this trip. We've seen short shuttle trips before, even Picard brought a book to read.

Captain's log, stardate 44891.6. The Enterprise has been ordered to accompany a special emissary from the Klingon High Council to the Kriosian System, where one of their colonies is fighting for independence.

Geordi was abducted on 44885.5. That was two days ago. Geordi was expected on Risa three hours after his entry. Wouldn't it be standard operating procedure for Geordi to inform Risa that he was coming, and for Risa to inform the Enterprise when he doesn't arrive on time?

I'm irked whenever the writers act like there wouldn't be thousands of transmissions coming into and going out of the Enterprise on a daily basis. This is another thing that DS9 got right!

KELL: There was a time when the Empire would crush a rebellion. Now it is tolerated. We have enough problems on the home planet. We don't wish to divert resources to such a trivial war.
PICARD: You're prepared to grant them independence?
KELL: Perhaps. We'll conquer them again later, if we wish.

It's sad when we learn more about the Klingons in episodes that don't have the spare time to devote the needed attention to it. So interesting topics are brought up only to be shoved aside immediately. And the stupid thing is that we don't learn more about the Romulans either, both sides are dumbed down to make room for less interesting stuff elsewhere.

KELL: It was my decision to invite you to accompany me, Captain. Many on the Council have great respect for you.

Many, but not all. Even if the Duras faction no longer has access to the High Council, only a fool would think that everyone else is pro-Gowron or pro-Federation.

PICARD: Indeed. Ambassador, I will ask our Chief Security officer, Lieutenant Worf, to make a report
KELL: Captain, Worf's discommendation makes that very awkward. If I could work with one of the other security officers
PICARD: Lieutenant Worf is my Chief of Security and my tactical officer. This matter clearly falls within his jurisdiction.
KELL: As you wish.

Sometimes the level of continuity nods in TNG makes you feel sad for the potential that Voyager had and never used because the creators were cowards. There, I said it.

WOMAN: Will there be any physical evidence of what you are doing to him?
(hmm that voice sounds familiar)

Ugh, just call her Sela! Only Trek fans would be reading this transcript anyway.

KELL: There have been two rebel attacks on neutral freighters. One a Ferengi, the other Cardassian.

What are Cardassian freighters doing in Federation space?

KELL: The actinides in the asteroids provide positive protection against our sensors.

The actinides are the elements from 89 to 103, all radioactive. I get irked whenever conventional radiation blocks anything in the 24th century, that's absolutely ridiculous.

WORF: Captain Picard does not lie. If he says there is no Federation assistance to the rebels, there is none.
KELL: Good. Because I risked my own reputation and honour coming to Picard.

Section 31 aside, we've seen other operations unknown to the flagship captain. All Picard can guarantee that he personally knows nothing about Federation assistance.

KELL: There are some members of the High Council who would thank you, Worf.
WORF: Thank me?
KELL: For killing Duras. No doubt that had he lived, one day he would ascended to head the Council. Many were not looking forward to that.

An interesting question. If Worf hadn't have killed Duras, would Picard have seriously given him control over the Empire? Didn't they have evidence of Duras's collusion with the Romulans even back then?

WORF: My motives were personal, not political.
KELL: Motives? Who cares for motives? Humans perhaps.

Ha! Klingons don't act based on motives, what a concept. Is there a single race in Trek who doesn't act based on motives?

TROI: You had a good time.
LAFORGE: Does it show?
TROI: You're more relaxed than I've ever seen you.

I'm disturbed that Troi can't tell between different forms of relaxation. There are times when you really wish that she was a full telepath.

VAGH: This is the only Klingon colony on the border of Federation space. You cannot deny that Starfleet would be happy to see Krios gain its independence. It would reduce your vulnerability to an attack.

This whole thing is ridiculous. The portion of the Federation-Klingon border occupied by a single colony is so small that it's ridiculous. Furthermore, the military in this system is no match for the Federation.

Plus, and let's be real here, any attempt by the Federation to occupy Klingon space would only leave it vulnerable to Romulan attack. And we're not even talking about a Klingon/Federation war, just occupying Klingon space bit by bit is an expenditure that the Federation can't afford after the Borg invasion. Add in the tenuous state of the treaty with the Cardassians and you have a Federation willing to do anything to avoid war, including encouraging Klingon civil war. The more the Romulans upset the balance in the Klingon empire, the more possible it is for the Romulans to sneak attack from within Klingon territory.

And people wonder why Voyager and Enterprise did so much worse than TNG...

PICARD: Governor, you speak as if we are enemies, not allies.
VAGH: And you speak the lies of a taar'chek.
PICARD: Qu'vath guy'cha b'aka.
KELL: Gentlemen.
VAGH: You swear well, Picard. You must have Klingon blood in your veins.

We don't really know what they said, I'm surprised Marc Okrand never attached a meaning to this exchange.

I'm reminded of when General Chang claimed that Kirk was part Klingon and thus an exception to the traditional wisdom that all humans were cowards.

LAFORGE: The Romulans. They fashioned a perfect Federation rifle but they had to charge it from their energy sources. So the discharge crystal and the emission beam pattern correspond to those you'd find in a Romulan disrupter.

I'm dubious at this. First, that the Romulans don't have any captured Federation tech around to charge a phaser. Second, that they couldn't buy Federation phaser crystals from the Ferengi or Orions. Third, that you could even make a phaser duplicate act like a disrupter. Why make a counterfeit rifle this good, only to make the beam so obviously wrong?

PICARD: Do you know which transporter was used?
LAFORGE: I'm not sure, Captain. Whoever did it apparently used the planetary array to bypass the transport sensors.

Yeah, that's nonsense. I'm not in the mood to even create appropriate Treknobabble in this case.

DATA: The primary plasma system does not indicate a power drain from any of the transporters.
LAFORGE: Then whoever used the transporter must have bypassed the primary feeds.
DATA: Tracking power from secondary systems. No surges to any of the transporters indicated.

Ugh, making the transporter work from a battery would be child's play compared with making a disrupter look like a phaser.

CRUSHER: What about your visor? Has it been giving you any problems lately?
LAFORGE: Nothing out of the ordinary.
CRUSHER: All the same, it might be a good idea to have it examined when we get to Starbase thirty six next month.
LAFORGE: Okay.

Considering that LaForge is one of the only people with one of this model of VISOR, shouldn't the Enterprise already have whatever tech is necessary for a full diagnostic? What makes Starbase 36 so special?

DATA: Computer, scan the shuttle's structural integrity.
COMPUTER: Sub-microscopic deformations are present in the nose section and aft thrusters.
DATA: Probable cause of these variations?
COMPUTER: The shuttle has been subjected to stress consistent with a tractor beam.

And the computer didn't say that up-front...because?

The Fiver

La Forge: There...are...four...lights!
Taibak: I haven't started the interrogation yet, you wuss. I'm just looking for the play button...ah, here it is.
La Forge: What the...Aaaaaaaaa! Make it stop!
Taibak: And after "Angel One," we're going to make you watch "Shades of Gray."

You monster!

Taibak: You must kill Chief O'Brien.
La Forge: But I like Chief O'Brien. He's a recurring character, which makes for really good continuity.
Taibak: Pretend he's Wesley Crusher.
La Forge: DIE! DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!

I'm unsure about this one, Geordi seemed to like Wesley. I'd have used Barclay or Sonia Gomez instead.

Memory Alpha

* First appearance of Sela, but Denise Crosby only did the voice. I get the foreshadowing, but the problem is that it's never paid off. Geordi never recognizes her later from this episode.
* The appearance of the planet Krios changed between "The Perfect Mate" and here. You'd think they could use stock footage.
* First appearance of the 24th century phaser rifle.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Why is Geordi doing a three-hour trip at sublight speeds?
* If the Klingons occupy Krios, how can Krios be at war with Valt?
* Why didn't the investigators find Geordi's fingerprints on the weapons that he beamed down?

[Nate the Great]

It's official, there would've been romantic tension between Tasha and Wesley according to the series bible.


Remember when I mentioned this before?

[Flying Gremlin]

Intriguing takes on a lot of the content. Finally caught up.

[Nate the Great]

June 3rd, 1991, "In Theory"

Fiver by Wowbagger

Far too many episodes of TNG rely on the one-episode romance subplot, have any of you noticed that?

The Episode

Captain's log, stardate 44932.3 The Enterprise is preparing to enter the Mar Oscura, an unexplored dark matter nebula. Commander Data is modifying several new photon torpedoes for an experiment designed to elicit more information about this unusual phenomenon.

Why are they modifying photon torpedoes instead of probes? Are antimatter explosions part of this experiment?

JENNA: I bumped into Jeff again in the turbolift this morning. He asked me to dinner.
DATA: What was your response?
JENNA: I told him I'd think about it.
DATA: As you requested, I will now remind you of the reasons you decided to end your relationship with Jeff.
JENNA: I guess I asked for this. Go ahead.
DATA: You objected to the fact that he seemed unwilling to set aside sufficient time for you. You said he was unresponsive, that he never did the little things. You disliked the sound he made when he ate his soup.
JENNA: Okay, okay. I remember.
DATA: This is the third time I have refreshed your memory. Do you wish to rescind our agreement?
JENNA: No. No, it's for my own good. It's just so easy to forget.

On the one hand, Data is an ideal candidate to perform this kind of service. On the other hand, it does seem a little dehumanizing to ask Data to act as a talking parrot.

DATA: Throughout history, many lovers have suffered the same difficulty. Anne Boleyn was quite distressed that Henry the Eighth preferred the company of his huntsmen over that of his wife.

I've read a bit about the wives of Henry VIII over the years, and I don't know where this huntsman came from. This isn't the place to talk about the complicated history of Henry VIII, I just think that if they wanted an historical example of romantic complications they could cite someone a bit more recent and well-known. JFK comes to mind immediately.

(a quintet is playing. Data on oboe, Jenna on flute, Keiko on clarinet, an alien on bassoon, and a man in casual clothes on French horn)
O'BRIEN: That was wonderful.
KEIKO: Thank you.
(Miles and Keiko embrace)

Did Keiko ever play again? You'd think DS9 is big enough to have an unofficial band, and it would certainly give her something to do. Furthermore, it would be another facet for Bashir or Sisko (I could certainly imagine Sisko playing a saxophone or something).

Furthermore, why is the alien playing a bassoon? Wouldn't his race have an equivalent instrument to insert here? It would be a nice little bit of worldbuilding.

KEIKO: Every night, Miles leaves his socks on the floor. When we got married, I made the mistake of picking them up a few times. Then I realised, if I kept it up I'd be doing it the rest of my life. So I stopped, figuring he'd get the point and do it himself. One night goes by, two, a week, ten days. By now there's a pile of socks half a metre high.
O'BRIEN: Come on, it wasn't half a metre.
KEIKO: After two weeks I couldn't stand it any more. I bundled them up and put them in the cleaning processor. And I'm still doing it.

While it's nice to see the lighter sides of life in the Federation, leaving socks on the floor seems rather primitive when you can shove them into the wall. As for a "cleaning processor", what is it and is it more energy-efficient than just feeding stuff into a replicator to be broken down and reused?

JENNA: Keiko, you sound just like Data. He came over to my quarters the other day to give me a music lesson, and he said the funniest thing. How did you put it, about the mess?
DATA: I believe I observed that you seem to have an aversion to orderliness. But it was not intended as a humourous remark.

Are we supposed to like Jenna? Because I don't. Plus I thought Data had more tact than to make observations like that.

DATA: I am nearly finished compiling readings from our most recent illuminatory burst. Dark matter density is nearly one order of magnitude higher than in similar nebulae. Life forms here may have developed in ways never before observed.
RIKER: Interesting hypothesis. Are there any M-class planets we could check out?

Let's assume that not all matter in here is dark matter. Even so, any life-forms around here should be sufficiently different to not exist under M-class conditions. I don't like how the writers seem to think that lifeforms can only exist under M-class conditions. There are other habitable classes, you know!

JENNA: Sometimes in the summer we'd go on cookouts. Just my little brother and me, and mother. She was hopeless without a replicator. We didn't care.
DATA: Children often do not develop discerning palettes until well beyond adolescence.

Let's accept that replicators are too big to take outside. I'd think that a portable stasis unit should be possible to make to keep food at the required temperature.

Sorry, I just hate it when Star Trek people keep going into unfamiliar environments for recreation when they don't have to. If you can't rough it don't plan activities where you have to!

As for children and discerning palettes, that's a whole other screed that could easily get me into trouble. I don't have children and probably never will, but I have observed nieces and nephews.

JENNA: That what I love about you, Data. You make me laugh. I don't know why I keep falling for the wrong man. Why can't I fall for somebody like you. You're perfect.
DATA: That is not true. I have no human feelings.

Exactly. Even if you compensate for his lack of emotions, Data still couldn't be described as perfect. Another screed.

GUINAN: Hello, Data. Would you like to try something new? It's a concoction I heard about on Prakal Two. I think it's wonderful but I need a second opinion.

Why is Guinan asking Data's opinion on this? I thought she was supposed to be the expert in dealing with everyone on their own terms (which means understanding everybody's own terms).

GUINAN: Don't look at me. No, no, Data, I simply mean that I can't give you any advice here. It's not good to advise people about their first love affairs. That's kind of something they have to figure out for themselves.

So what was she doing with Wesley and Salia?

LAFORGE: Data. Missing someone? I found Spot wandering through the corridor two sections away.
DATA: Thank you.
LAFORGE: Forget to secure the door when you left?
DATA: The door sensor is programmed to recognise only humanoid forms for entry and egress. Spot could not have triggered the mechanism.

I've had cats, I know they can squeeze through the oddest openings. However, there shouldn't be any such openings on a starship. Or are you telling me that Spot somehow opened an access hatch to a Jefferie's Tube?

LAFORGE: Listen, my advice is ask somebody else for advice. At least someone who's got more experience at giving advice.

This would've been a good time to bring up Geordi's failures with women.

DATA: I have studied much human literature on the subject of love and romantic liaisons. There are many role models for me to emulate.
TROI: Ultimately, Jenna will care for you for what you are, not what you imitate out of a book.

Exactly. I think Data fell back on the "fake it until you make it" plot far too often, including this episode.

WORF: Klingons do not pursue relationships. They conquer that which they desire. However, Lieutenant D'Sora serves under my command. If she were mistreated, I would be very displeased, sir.
DATA: I understand.

Is he using "conquer" as a euphemism for sex? I hope not. The protective big brother thing is another cliché that I don't think fits here. Could Worf hurt Data anyway?

RIKER: I think you should pursue it. First of all, she's a beautiful woman.

I'm disturbed by Will treating beauty as the most important factor. He should've matured past the playboy phase by now.

If you've read Imzadi you should know that his initial interest in Deanna was simply "she's hot" combined with "she'll be a challenge."

[Nate the Great]

DATA: Jenna has clearly demonstrated how she feels about me, but I am not capable of returning those feelings.
RIKER: Data, when you get involved with another person, there are always risks of disappointment, of getting hurt.

Uh, Will, you didn't address Data's concern. In fact, you completely misinterpreted Data's statement in order to make a more general observation.

DATA: I cannot be hurt. But she can.
RIKER: Jenna knows that and she has obviously decided to take the chance.

No, she's hasn't. She's desperate and misinterpreting Data's actions.

RIKER: Data, when it really works between two people, it's not like anything you've ever experienced. The rewards are far beyond simple friendship.
DATA: How far, sir?
RIKER: That's what I'm hoping you're going to find out.
DATA: Thank you, Commander.

Will does know that Data doesn't have emotions, right? Plus, if this is a subtle reference to sex, he knows about Data and Tasha by now, doesn't he?

DATA: Captain, I am seeking advice in how
PICARD: Yes, I've heard, Data, and I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When as I have some, I'll let you know.

This is a good gag, Data's been talking to everyone on the senior staff (although I do wonder what Beverly's advice would've been), and word gets around.

(Meaningless aside alert! In the novel "Guises of the Mind" a pair of nuns comes aboard to help set up an orphanage on a planet. Data takes an interest in the subject of religion, and so of course asks his friends their opinions on the subject. Picard describes the church in his hometown and seems to treat the subject as a source of comfort whether or not there is a God. Worf refers to his family's gods (a clear discontinuity) and says he'll talk about the rituals as long as Data keeps it a secret. Guinan describes god as a singular idea that can be one person or several, a changeable approach. It's also mentioned that there are Jews and ritualistic Native Americans onboard that Data consults.)

JENNA: They're lovely. Come in. What are they?
DATA: A variety of crystilia. Their fragrance is an evolutionary response to the acrid nature of the atmosphere on Telemarius Four.

Acrid means it has an unpleasant taste or smell. I'm dubious as to whether a good smell is really chemically opposite to a bad smell.

Only mention of Telemarius IV.

JENNA: You didn't talk to the entire ship about us.
DATA: No. In actuality, less than one percent of the Enterprise crew was involved. It was necessary to balance theory with experiential referents.

Okay, here's a question. Of the 1,012 people on board, how many are "crew?" If Data is to be believed, he only talked with four crew (Guinan doesn't count). So that means at least 400 crew.

JENNA: This is all part of a programme?
DATA: Yes. One which I have just created for romantic relationships.
JENNA: So I'm just a small variable in one of your new computational environments?
DATA: You are much more than that, Jenna. I have written a subroutine specifically for you. A programme within the programme. I have devoted a considerable share of my internal resources to its development.
JENNA: Data, that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.

You could argue that "real" people also create such personas, but I won't go into detail for fear of being lynched.

DATA: You have often expressed dissatisfaction with the spartan nature of my quarters. Is this an attempt at embellishment?
JENNA: The cat's out of the bag.
DATA: Spot?

How incomplete is the dictionary in Data's head? Did they pawn off the job to the lowest bidder who turned out to be a particularly inept Pakled?

COMPUTER: Warning. Atmospheric decompression in Bridge Observation Lounge.

As opposed to the Sickbay Observation Lounge?

DATA: The transparent aluminum alloy of this window is exhibiting a pattern of transient electrical currents.
PICARD: Explanation?
DATA: I have none. The rate is characteristic of a subspace distortion, but I am picking up no evidence of a subspace field.

I'm not sure how many of you know about piezoelectricity, but the notion of a subspace equivalent is intriguing.

DATA: Honey? I'm home.

This is always worth a laugh.

JENNA: I'll have a Calaman Sherry.

Only mention, but it did make it into the Star Trek Cookbook. Mix strawberry, kiwi, and sparkling apple cider as an equivalent. An Okudagram in Quark's presents this as a possible drink.

DATA: Darling, you remain as aesthetically pleasing as the first day we met. I believe I am the most fortunate sentient in this sector of the galaxy. Now, you relax. Put your feet up and I will take care of everything.

This is funny because it combines the cliched script with Data's need to insert more complicated vocabulary.

JENNA: Kiss me.
(they kiss)
JENNA: What were you just thinking?
DATA: In that particular moment, I was reconfiguring the warp field parameters, analysing the collected works of Charles Dickens, calculating the maximum pressure I could safely apply to your lips, considering a new food supplement for Spot--
JENNA: I'm glad I was in there somewhere.

It makes you wonder how many other things Data was thinking about. And given that Data never sleeps (at least, not yet), how much does he think about on a given day?

And when he routes key computer functions through his brain, how many fewer things does he think about?

PICARD: I'm going to pilot the shuttle.
RIKER: Captain, it's my duty as First Officer to safeguard the lives on this ship, including yours. The Enterprise can't afford to lose you, sir. Certainly not in this situation.

In this situation you could argue that the shuttle is safer than the ship. Of course in real life Picard is separated because Stewart is directing and it's useful to keep him off the set as much as possible.

JENNA: You were so kind and attentive. I thought that would be enough.
DATA: It is not?
JENNA: No, it's not. Because as close as we are, I don't really matter to you. Not really. Nothing I can say or do will ever make you happy or sad, or touch you in any way.

I wish they could've resolved this in more than one scene, as it is it smacks too much of the scriptwriter getting bored of the topic and getting rid of it ASAP.

The Fiver

Data: I will now draw on various romantic figures to create a satisfactory evening, such as Ward Cleaver, Bob Hartly, Commander Riker, and The Famous Mister Ed.
D'Sora: Why don't you spare me the trouble of calling you a weirdo and get out now?

I don't think I ever watched Leave it to Beaver or Mister Ed as a child. I've watched my share of old shows in my time (stuff like Addams Family and Beverly Hillbillies comes to mind immediately), not those. Bob Hartly is from the series Newhart. The joke is that none of these, even Riker, is really a romantic figure.

Data: Dinner is served.
D'Sora: Sorry, Data, but I can't stay. I just came to tell you that it's over between us. (leaves)
Data: Maybe it was the fact that dinner was my silicon suspension....
(Data puzzles his puzzler until his puzzler is puzzled at Ludicrous Speed)

A good joke.

Memory Alpha

* This story is inspired by all those fans who were obsessed with Spock romantically in the TOS days. At least that makes sense because Spock does have emotions, he just suppresses them.
* They didn't like having to insert the dark matter stuff, but felt like they had to. They say that people would ask what the ship is doing, but my response is that they did it clumsily with forced peril.
* First episode directed by Stewart.
* I'm annoyed at the revelation that directors were randomly assigned to stories. Directors should be assigned to stories that suit them.
* The site attempts to explain Data's multiple contractions by saying that these statements were more or less him playing soundbytes, not actually speaking. Yeah, good luck with that.
* Ronald Moore thinks that people don't recognize this episode enough. I disagree. When half the episode is a forced technobabble that only exists to break up talky scenes, you don't have a class-A episode.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Why does Data have opinions on closet organization when he wears the same thing 99% of the time? He probably keeps his Sherlock Holmes costume on one side, and that's it.
* Phil also noted the "Dauphin" thing.
* If there wasn't decompression in the observation lounge, how did the furniture get shoved to one side?

[Nate the Great]

June 17th, 1991, "Redemption Part One"

Up front, I understand how this story was bumped by a year by "The Best of Both Worlds." However, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't have used the intervening time well. In particular, saying that it took a year for Gowron to officially take over is ridiculous. That should've happened earlier, along with a proper Duras Sisters introduction, to make room in this episode for the actual civil war.

Fiver by Zeke

The Episode

Captain's log, stardate 44995.3. We're en route to the Klingon home world, where I will participate in the installation ceremony of Gowron, the next designated Leader of the High Council.

I'm confused about Picard's role here. Aren't his Arbiter of Succession duties done? I'd rather this was a more general reaffirm-the-treaty-show-the-flag thing.

WORF: It is not time yet.
PICARD: That doesn't sound like the man who came to me a year ago fiercely determined to return home and to clear his father's name or die trying. Isn't it time to confront the Council? To regain your family name? Let the truth be known?

I'd rather ask Worf what time he thinks IS right.

PICARD: And who speaks for his family now?
GOWRON: Lursa and B'Etor, the sisters of Duras.
PICARD: And they would claim the leadership of the Council?
GOWRON: Women may not serve on the Council.

But Gowron offered K'ehlyr a seat a year ago! Furthermore, Gowron didn't answer Picard's question. Picard was asking about leading the Council, Gowron is talking about being on the council.

It's not fair to talk about Azetbur, she hasn't been invented yet, but I'm still going to do it. In Star Trek VI they were treating the top spot like a monarchy, which I have problems with. In the TNG era it makes much more sense, intended for the most worthy warrior.

For that matter, shouldn't the best warrior get the top job? Gowron doesn't seem like a better warrior than average. At least Duras seems like a guy who actually trains himself. But then again, does K'mpec seem like he was ever that good of a warrior? Why would you need to poison this guy, just challenge him to a fight and stab him!

I'm meandering, I'm sorry.

WORF: I practice at level fourteen.
GUINAN: Guess I could come down to that level for a while. Begin programme.
…
GUINAN: Good game. Don't feel bad. I was doing this long before you were born. So how is he? Your son.

I get that they needed an interaction between Guinan and Worf here, but I'm not sure that target shooting was the right choice here. Sure, you can't have Whoopi Goldberg tussling with holographic monsters, but there must've been another choice.

KURN: Gowron will not live to see the day he leads the Council.
WORF: What do you mean?
KURN: He stands alone, surrounded by his enemies. Lursa and B'Etor will have him killed. And if they don't, I will.
WORF: You will?
KURN: Gowron is weak. The family of Duras must never be allowed to lead the Council. Our leaders have failed us. They no longer deserve our loyalty. It is time to sweep away the old Council and put a new one in its place.

Kurn seems a little mixed up. Even should his faction manage to kill Gowron and Duras, that still leaves other problems. Furthermore, Martok later said that cowardice was the only real reason to remove Gowron, and just like during the war Gowron is not a coward even if he's not the best warrior.

K'TAL: naDev ghoS!
(Picard walks forward)
K'TAL: Have you reached a decision regarding the succession of power?
PICARD: Qaja plu d'itch jung. La woq you ghir klas qimha. Gowron. Doj hon. Doj hon.

"Come here!" Picard's line hasn't been translated. Trust me, I've looked.

K'TAL: Gowron, son of M'Rel, hakt'em. The Arbiter confirms that you have completed the Rite of Succession. Your enemies have been destroyed. You stand alone. Do you wish to claim leadership of the Council?
GOWRON: I wish it.
K'TAL: Are there no other challengers?

I have a problem with this bit. If Gowron has had to answer challengers during this entire transitionary period, why was there a transitory period? Seriously, Gowron should've been assumed to have taken over after "Reunion" and the Klingons should be having a problem with his pro-Federation methods.

GOWRON: The illegitimate son of Duras cannot rule the High Council.
K'TAL: The Arbiter will consider his validity. Len'mat.

Again, the Klingon Empire is not a hereditary monarchy. You have to prove yourself in battle to even be eligible! Why is this kid here?

KURN [on monitor]: I have met with the other squadron commanders here. Three will join us, one will not. That gives us enough strength to control seven key sectors.

Three squadrons can control seven sectors? I do wish they could've told us how many ships to a squadron. Furthermore, in naval tradition a squadron is merely one part of a fleet or task force. I sorta get that in Trek they tend to use the term "fleet" to refer to ALL ships in a certain government's military, but "task force" or "flotilla" would've worked better.

PICARD: Mister Worf, you're using our files on the Khitomer massacre as evidence against Duras' father?
WORF: Yes, sir.
PICARD: Do you not see an inherent conflict of interest here?
WORF: Sir, those Federation records will help me prove that my father was falsely accused of treason.
PICARD: You are using your position as a Starfleet officer to affect political change on your planet. There could not be a worse compromise of our fundamental principles.

I'm with SF Debris here, this seems iffy. Truth is truth, after all. Frankly all of the Starfleet records on the Khitomer massacre should've been turned over back in "Reunion" after Duras and K'ehlyr were killed.

GOWRON: You come to me and demand the restoration of your family honour and now you hide behind human excuses? What are you, Worf? Do you tremble and quake with fear at the approach of combat, hoping to talk your way out of a fight like a human? Or do you hear the cry of the warrior calling you to battle, calling you to glory like a Klingon?

You can't say that they didn't write Gowron consistently. It's amazing how much of an arc they got out of this character.

WOMAN: Celebrate later, Toral. We should not discount Jean Luc Picard yet. He is human, and humans have a way of showing up when you least expect them.

A good line, often overlooked.

The Fiver

Captain's Log: We're on our way to Qo'noS so I can officially install Gowron as Chancellor. I tried this once before, but had to stop when Worf performed an illegal operation.

Ah, the early days of Windows humor.

Gowron: (over the comm) Greetings, Federation scum. FEAR MY CREEPY EYES.

Lots of people talk about how Gowron stares. I don't take it that seriously, but I see where they're coming from.

Picard: Gowron, I simply cannot choose sides in a Klingon civil war, no matter how cool my first officer thinks it would be.
Gowron: Look into my eyes and say that.
Picard: All right, but -- whoa. Creepy. Still no, though.
Worf: Captain, we must do something to help Gowron!
Picard: We could provide him with contact lenses.
Worf: That's it, I quit.

I would've used sunglasses here, but whatever...

Picard: If you must go, Worf, at least share a nostalgia trip with me. (sigh) I remember the day you first came aboard....
Worf: Sir, I really wouldn't enter the quarters.
Picard: ...you were so young and red-shir--
(WO-PANG)
Worf: Ouch. You're lucky that bounced off your artificial heart.

Definite Avengers flashbacks here. "Usually this works..."

Memory Alpha

* Major continuity error here about Guinan making Worf laugh. She did that back in "Yesterday's Enterprise."

Nitpicker's Guide

* Worf forgot to pack the family bat'leth. Oops.
* The Great Hall is way bigger here than in "Sins of the Fathers." There's been plenty of time for a remodel, and for all we know there are two Great Halls.
* Phil points out Worf's red blood and its conflict with The Undiscovered Country. I'd rather chalk that up to "the blood really was red" just like "the Klingons always had ridges, there was no need for Augment virus nonsense."

[NAHTMMM]

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

January 7, 1991, "Data's Day"

Data is not capable of love himself, so how could he act as matchmaker?

The same way Worf could act as a midwife.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

February 4th, 1991, "Devil's Due"

TROI: This situation is deteriorating, Captain. The people are approaching levels of anxiety that could lead to suicide.

They're not anxious enough YET? I shudder to think what Troi thinks is a justifiable level of anxiety for suicide.

Don't remember the title but there's a novel about a doomed planet that actually brings up that the population is starting to commit suicide. Pretty dark for TNG. Anyway Troi ends up stuck at the North Pole while the ship surprise-teleports the entire planet through a wormhole and part of the planet near her gets sheared off so I think she learned about anxiety then.

The Fiver

Sorry, this one is competent but not exactly quotable.

Oh, I don't know, I remembered

Picard: GASP! A -- a petticoat! (whispers) My one weakness...a properly dressed woman!

and the chains of (FLASH!) (BIGGER FLASH!)

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

February 18th, 1991, "First Contact"

NILREM: I can't find his cardial organ.

I appreciate the alien medical terms, but you can go too far. "Cardial organ" instead of "heart" is just stupid.

You'd think so, wouldn't you. But "heart" is a specific organ whereas "cardial organ" describes the function, so if their version of a heart does certain things that ours don't -- maybe it has different chambers or reacts well to certain chemicals -- then the unspoken assumptions about ways that our heart matches theirs could be fatal.

MIRASTA: He's an android, Chancellor. A constructed being.
DURKEN: A machine?
DATA: In a manner of speaking. The term artificial lifeform would be more accurate.

How is Data not a machine?

In ways that mattered during "Measure of a Man".

RIKER: Now, will you help me?
LANEL: If you make love to me.
RIKER: What?
LANEL: I've always wanted to make love with an alien.

If the Universal Translator is so sophisticated that it can translate an idiom as complicated as "make love", our heroes shouldn't have the problems that it keeps having with the thing. It should've just said "have sex."

The UT is exactly as sophisticated as it needs to be to keep network censors happy.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

The Fiver
Picard: Nanoo, nanoo!
Troi: Phone Home!
Mirasta: Hmm... you appear to be new around here.
Picard: Perhaps, but we can reverse the situation, right O'Brien?
O'Brien: (over the comm) Yub! Yub!

I get the Mork and Mindy and E.T. references, but what's with the yub yub thing?

Ewoks.

And is Independence Day still the cultural touchstone that it was twenty years ago?

Probably not.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

March 18th, 1991, "Night Terrors"

Fiver by Standback (I've never heard of this guy, does anyone know anything about him/her?)

Early forumgoer. I think he's the one who was from Israel?

Originally Posted by "Galaxy's Child" fiver

Picard: We have to startle it into letting us go, but without harming it. Set phasers on "wedgie" and fire!
Worf: Direct hit. The creature is dead, sir.
Picard: Dead? How is that possible?
Riker: Have you ever experienced a Klingon wedgie, sir?

This is a good bit.

[NAHTMMM]

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

COMPUTER: Warning. Atmospheric decompression in Bridge Observation Lounge.

As opposed to the Sickbay Observation Lounge?

That would be a good thing to have, actually, as a waiting room for relatives of patients.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

May 13th, 1991, "The Host"

CRUSHER: You know, Deanna, the first man I ever loved unconditionally was named Stefan.

Maybe it's just cause I've never been in love, but the idea of loving "unconditionally" is a little unsettling to me. Forgiving absolutely everything seems like something a doormat or victim of abuse would say.

When you know and trust a person enough, unconditional love is a wonderful thing. I know KJ and I are on each other's sides completely and anything she might do to hurt or inconvenience me is a mistake, not malice.

[Nate the Great]

You and Data seem to think that "machine" is itself a biased term only meant for robots of lower sophistication. It's not. I'm a machine, you're a machine, everybody that you know, you know they are machines...

[Nate the Great]

October 21st, 1991, "Disaster"

Fiver by Marc

The Episode

Captain's log, stardate 45156.1. Our mission to Mudor Five has been completed and since our next assignment will not begin for several days, we are enjoying a welcome respite from our duties.

So as a change of pace from "the next assignment is boring, so just wait for something interesting" we're on "nothing is happening for awhile, so of course something will happen." At least say that you're en route for the next mission and it will take a couple days to get there!

Furthermore, if you've got nothing to do for several days, try visiting a planet that hasn't been studied thoroughly yet! You know, "boldly going where no one has gone before?"

(Keiko O'Brien is a good eight months pregnant)

We haven't seen Keiko since "In Theory", Stardate 44932.3. It's now 45156.1, three months later. Gotta love how the creators don't seem to care in the slightest how much time passes between episodes. Makes you wonder why they bothered with declaring 1000 stardates=1 year in the first place.

Just for curiosities sake, I looked it up. Keiko's second pregnancy was announced in "Accession", Stardate unknown, but using surrounding episodes let's say 49615. Kirayoshi was born in "The Begotten", Stardate also unknown, but let's estimate again at 50450. 10 months, oops.

LAFORGE: I cannot sing in front of people.
CRUSHER: You were terrific! You were a little off pitch, but I think I can take care of that.

Or autotune can. Let's just toss up a link to "In Your Imagination" by Pogo.

PATTERSON: Can we see the battle bridge and torpedo bay?
PICARD: No, I'm afraid not. But we will be visiting the hydroponics and astrophysics laboratories.

"The" torpedo bay? Only on the 1701 is there only one torpedo bay. The 1701-D has three; forward stardrive, aft stardrive, and the saucer section one that's normally blocked by the stardrive.

I do wonder why they couldn't visit the battle bridge (beyond the fact that the set no longer exists, of course). In docked mode none of the consoles would be active, after all.

O'BRIEN: The computer's down. It looks like we still have impulse power but not much else.

Even if you forgive something as stupid as "the computer's down", which I don't (even if the quantum filament took out all three cores I expect there to be emergency backups able to do the basics), I fail to see how you can do ANYTHING if the computer is down. How would your commands get to the impulse engines?

PICARD: Bridge, this is Picard. This is the Captain. Can anyone hear me?
PATTERSON: Why don't they answer?
PICARD: I don't know.

Neither do I. I get that when you're on the ship your commbadges are routed through the comm system, but if the comm system is out I fully expect the commbadges to be able to independently link to each other just like if they were on a planet. Plus, it's not like the quantum filament is still around jamming signals, it's GONE. The damage is done.

O'BRIEN: If the computer senses a hull breach, it automatically closes emergency bulkheads to isolate the breach. Until we can clear those bulkheads, we'll be cut off from the rest of the ship.

I do wish that they could've tossed in a line about how the bulkhead subprocessor couldn't tell where the breach is without the main computer so it closed all of the bulkheads just in case. In ordinary circumstances I expect the ship to know where the breach is so it can just close the emergency bulkheads in that location.

MANDEL: I have partial sensors back online. I'm picking up sporadic life signs throughout the saucer section. There are definitely survivors.

Are you telling me that an ordinary tricorder couldn't have found that out way before now? And don't tell me that a tricorder can't detect all lifesigns within a kilometer, because that's absurd. I hope they're not implying that the emergency bulkheads block all communications and sensor sweeps, because that's ridiculous.

RO: Could the sensors be malfunctioning?
MANDEL: There's no way to know. Without the main computer, I can't run a full diagnostic.

The bridge should have a dedicated backup computer core for exactly this kind of situation. Enough for basic sensors, navigation, etc. Keep it manually disconnected until you need it, of course.

O'BRIEN: Lieutenant Monroe was in command, but she's dead. I believe Counsellor Troi is the senior officer on the deck.
RO: Counsellor Troi?
O'BRIEN: She carries the rank of Lieutenant Commander.

This has been stated elsewhere, but this is ridiculous. Troi may have the rank, but not the training in Command duties. O'Brien should have command in this case. In situations like this, Command officers should be in command, that's what they were trained for. If no Command officers (redshirts) are present, go to Operations officers (goldshirts), then Medical/Sciences (blueshirts)! Remember that Crusher has Command training, Spock has Command training, even O'Brien has Command training!

DATA: I have surveyed all the turbolifts and service crawlways on this deck. Access to the Bridge has been completely severed by emergency bulkheads.

I expect Data to be more thorough than this. Riker has to ask later if they can reach Engineering. Data should've anticipated this and presented the option earlier.

Furthermore, I wonder what the options are for retracting the emergency bulkheads. You can't design these things to only allow commands from the main computer, that's asking for trouble!

CRUSHER: This wall is hot.
LAFORGE: Where?

Like SF Debris said, this is stupid. LaForge should be able to detect changes in temperature WAY before a person feels it. His VISOR can detect infrared, right?

LAFORGE: I'm all right, but I think we've got a new problem. One of the energy conduits must've ruptured and ignited the polyduranide inside the bulkhead. That's a plasma fire.

This seems like a problem that could've been solved at the design stage.

LAFORGE: We've got a bigger problem than that. The quaratum in these containers is used in emergency thruster packs. It's normally pretty stable stuff but when you expose quaratum to radiation, it has a way of exploding.

Only mention of quaratum. I do wonder how these emergency thruster packs work without putting out radiation.

MARISSA: Number One?
PICARD: That's what I always called my first officer. So, here.
(He puts two of his rank pins on her top)

I've brought up the pip thing before. Either these things have hooks, or all Federation clothing has a corresponding mesh for a magnetic grip.

"Number One" for the first officer goes back to the sailing days. The First Lieutenant was second in command.

Meaningless aside, but I found out that Pike's Number One has now been given the name Una in Discovery. I'm so used to knowing her as Morgan Primus. I also refer you to John Byrne's Star Trek comic called "Crew", which went through all sorts of hoops to avoid pinning a name on this woman.

CRUSHER: We can withstand this level of radiation for another three or four hours without any permanent damage. We'll need a few days of hyronalin treatments.

Hydronalin has popped up here and there in Trek as an anti-radiation drug, going all the way back to "The Deadly Years." In "Real Life" the Doctor even gave it to Paris before he was exposed to radiation as a protectant.

RO: Nothing. Field strength's at forty percent and falling. We've got a problem. The quantum resonance of the filament caused a polarity shift in the antimatter containment field.
O'BRIEN: When the filament hit us, the ship was momentarily charged, as if it had come into contact with a live electrical wire.
RO: That weakened the containment field surrounding the antimatter pods. The field strength is at forty percent and it is still falling.

I fail to see how O'Brien's line has anything to do with what Ro is saying. If it was supposed to be a metaphor to help the audience understand, I don't think it worked.

O'BRIEN: If it falls to fifteen percent the field will collapse and we'll have a containment breach.
TROI: Which means?
RO: Which means the ship will explode.

Why did they make Troi look like an idiot here? I expect something as simple as "containment breach"="exploding ship" to be something covered in the basic engineering course that all cadets had to take.

[Nate the Great]

RIKER: Let me get this straight. You want me to take off your head?
DATA: Yes, sir. Is something wrong, sir?
RIKER: Well, Data, would you be all right?

I'm glad that Riker was uncomfortable here. That's friendship.

PICARD: Now, there is a ladder along the wall of the shaft. You can climb up that until you come to an open doorway.

Open doorway? Since when are there open doorways anywhere on the ship, much less in a turbolift shaft? Couldn't they just say that a Jefferies Tube branches in a few decks up?

KEIKO: No, I mean contractions. I'm going into labour.
WORF: You cannot. This this is not a good time, Keiko.

Gotta love Worf. Is he expecting her to cross her legs and hold Molly in?

PICARD: The lift's falling! Hang on!

The writers do realize that the gravity plating is in the floor of the turbolift, not the bottom of the shaft, right? Why wouldn't you want the turbolift cars to slide freely up and down the track? Maybe I'd buy the car drifting slowly towards the nearest deck's gravity plating, but this is ridiculous. You'd still want to climb up the shaft to the nearest deck, but the crash was ridiculous.

Furthermore, wouldn't there be other turbolift cars between here and the bottom anyway? Under normal circumstances the cars could get out of each other's way using the horizontal tracks, but these aren't normal circumstances.

PICARD: What we need is a climbing song. Marissa, is there a song you sing at school?
MARISSA: The Laughing Vulcan and His Dog?
PICARD: I'm afraid I don't know that one.

I've posted this before, but why not again?

PICARD: I know. Frere Jacques. That's a song I used to sing when I was at school. Patterson, do you know that one? Good. It goes like this. Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, dormez vous? Dormez vous?
ALL: Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines, ding ding dong, ding ding dong.

Literally:

Brother Jacques, Brother Jacques,
Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Ring [the bells for] matins! Ring [the bells for] matins!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.

Official English translation

Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?
Brother John, Brother John,
Morning bells are ringing! Morning bells are ringing!
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong.

"Matins" was originally a specific morning prayer at 6 AM. It's a bit more generic nowadays in certain Orthodox faiths for any morning prayer.

As a child I sang the official English translation as a round a few times. Of course I never knew about its French origins.

The Fiver

Crusher: I need you for my next Gilbert and Sullivan production.
La Forge: Can't you ask Worf or Data or the Captain instead?
Crusher: Oh, come on. Can you picture those three singing operetta together?

You already know where this link goes...

Patterson: Hi! I grew weird radishes in special dirt!
Troi: Wasn't that a clever and useful project, sir?
Picard: More so than anything you've ever done around here.

Well, that's harsh...

O'Brien: If we lose containment, our antimatter pods will explode.
Troi: Would that do bad things to the ship?
Ro: Counselor, are you planning to take the Bridge Officer Exam someday?
Troi: I was thinking of it. Why do you ask?

"No reason. On an unrelated subject, may I recommend you read this technical journal. It was written by Captain Scott himself. It's called All I Need to Know about Engineering I Learned by Using Technobabble."

Memory Alpha

* Ronald Moore knew that Troi really isn't in the chain of command, but decided to do it anyway for the sake of drama.
* Ro and O'Brien were put together as a test run for DS9. I still think that Forbes ran into the same trap as Kirstie Alley and Michael Shanks over on Stargate: thinking that they were bigger stars than they actually were. Do I wish she had taken the Kira position on DS9? Maybe. She sure would've done better than Nana Visitor in the first season.
* Last mention of saucer separation before Generations.
* Since Worf's reaction to Keiko's second pregnancy in "Accession" is mentioned, I may as well link a YouTube video.
* First appearance of a Jefferies tube junction.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil also noticed a few of my previous nits.
* Phil questions additional exit methods from the bridge. I also forgot about the hatch between the helm and the viewscreen going down to Deck 2.

[Nate the Great]

October 28th, 1991, "The Game"

Okay, let's get this out of the way. Some call this episode a poorly-made allegory of video game addition, and it's not. The "game" featured is poorly constructed and nothing you couldn't do on the holodeck with a modified cortical monitor as an interface. The threat is mind control, not gaming addiction.

Second of all, I like Robin Lefler. I'm not fond of what they did to her in New Frontier, but here she's okay (even if she was obviously too old for Wesley Crusher). I never did get that far into the series, but I didn't like what I saw. As much as I love Peter David's work, New Frontier was obviously fanfic from a completely different universe with a Trek coat of paint put on.

The Episode

RIKER: Etana? I know you're back there. Don't make me come after you.

I'm not fond of the idea that Riker keeps having casual affairs every time he's off ship. Furthermore, defaulting to Risa every time is boring. They couldn't have him go to Wrigley's Pleasure Planet even once? They don't have hot women on Earth that he could visit?

ETANA: Concentrate. Make the disc go into the cone.

Seriously boring, and why do we need a Virtual Boy to play it?

(the first one misses, the second is a success, and he gasps with pleasure)

So this thing directly stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain. Putting aside the fact that you'd have to put a rather sophisticated medical scanner in there to find the pleasure centers of each species, wouldn't this be the sort of thing that would already exist without requiring the facade of a game? Just put the thing on your head and you can orgasm all you want, right?

PICARD: On top of everything, there's been a change. We've been given only two weeks to complete the exploration.
RIKER: Two weeks? That's not enough time to explore a region that size. I thought we had five weeks.

Forget five weeks, two weeks is enough time that I'd think you'd assign a proper science vessel to! Doesn't the Enterprise have VIPs that they need to shuttle around in the next couple weeks?

Furthermore, why does Riker care? He'll only be reading reports from the science teams.

PICARD: Will, I'm leaving it up to you to make sure that all science departments have an equal chance of completing their research.

Isn't that Data's job?

LAFORGE: Fifteen science teams, only two weeks, and one long-range array don't make for a great combination.

Geordi is implying that the long distance sensor arrays can only scan one thing at a time, and that's ridiculous.

ROBIN: We're increasing the available bandwidth so more science teams can use the sensors at once. We figured out a way to do it by multiplexing the array.
RIKER: Can we have that done before we arrive?
ROBIN: Yes, sir. You can count on it.

Multiplexing means combining several signals into a single signal. Usually it just refers to communications signals. I fail to see how this will help in this case. Presumably the different science teams have different ideas of what needs to be scanned and how. I think multiplexing would only work if you're only scanning one thing. In which case you just do a full-spectrum sensor sweep, not this multiplexing stuff.

What should be happening here is sending out shuttles and probes to do the actual scanning, and multiplex their signals back to the Enterprise.

(she offers him a spoon)
RIKER: No, thanks. I don't like fudge.

Stupid and pointless. Deanna should know which forms of chocolate Will likes by now.

PICARD: Quomodo tua Latinitas est?
WESLEY: Praestat quam prius.
PICARD: Oppido bonum. Your Latin has improved.

"How is your Latin?" "It's better than before." "Very good."

There's a discussion over at Stack Exchange about why Starfleet officers are learning Latin.

If children are learning Calculus, I suppose they've figured out how to improve memory recall, perhaps through genetic modification (if the anti-Khan laws permit that, of course).

Then again, I can see Picard learning it for fun and Wesley wanting to do do so as well to impress him.

DATA: Have you found the Academy challenging, Wesley?
WESLEY: Yeah. I thought after being on the Enterprise, it would be a breeze, but there's a lot more to learn than just starship operations.

It takes more than memorizing technical journals to succeed in Starfleet. I kinda thought that was the point of Riker tutoring him, especially when he put Wesley in charge of that mineral survey...

WESLEY: My first week that I was there, this guy named Adam Martoni reprogrammed the sonic shower to cover me with mud.

How? The sonic shower doesn't emit anything except sound waves! A good practical joke would be to beam a blob of mud over Wesley's head just after he finishes his shower, making him shower again.

DATA: Geordi, a conflict has started between the planetary evolution team and the stellar physicists. Each wishes to be the first to use the thermal imaging array.
LAFORGE: Well, tell them to flip a coin. We've got to work together on this mission, otherwise we're never going to get it done.
DATA: A coin. Very good. I will replicate one immediately.

Sometimes Data's literalism and obtuseness really grates on my nerves. I think it really depends on how much the writer knows about subtlety...

CRUSHER: Yes, Data. I need to ask you to do something for me. I'm working on a new experiment with bioactive silicon.

What in the world is bioactive silicon? Even if you posit biological organisms that are silicon-based instead of carbon-based, the silicon itself can never be "bioactive". If this is Crusher's way of referring to the silicon equivalent of carbon compounds, it still doesn't make sense as it wouldn't be "bioactive."

[Nate the Great]

WESLEY: The first week that I was there, I went and met Boothby.
PICARD: How is old Boothby? I hope he didn't tell you a lot of stories about me.
WESLEY: He didn't remember you, sir. At first. I found an old yearbook photo and he remembered you right away.

"The First Duty" implies that Boothby remembers all of his previous protoges. One hopes that he was having fun at Wesley's expense.

"Found an old yearbook photo"? There are archives of physical yearbooks at Starfleet Academy? Wouldn't the photos be in a database accessible by every PADD on campus?

WESLEY: Sir, what do the initials A.F. stand for?
PICARD: A.F.?
WESLEY: Boothby said he caught you carving those initials into his prized elm tree.

Memory Alpha has nothing about this A.F. person. For romantic relationships they only have Lwaxana, Vash, Kamala, Nella, Anij, and Beverly. Notable omissions are Penny, Marta, and Philipa.

Even if "A.F." is a pseudonym for one of these women, he didn't know any of them besides Marta as a cadet.

ROBIN: When your parents are the only plasma specialists in the sector, you do a lot of travelling around. We went from base to base to base.

Plasma specialist doesn't seem like an on-call sort of job. You'd want one of those anywhere there is plasma.

WESLEY: Don't you think that's a little strange? Everybody playing it all the time.
ROBIN: It's just a fad. It's here this week. Next week we won't even know it existed.

That line stuck with me. I even established it as the page quote at TVTropes for the trope Flash in the Pan Fad.

WESLEY: Yeah, we could hook it up to one of the computers. The medical programs in the lab can be set up to emulate human responses.
ROBIN: I noticed it uses a visual interface. We could connect it through an optical sensor.

I'd nitpick this, but if it works on Geordi I guess The Game is more sophisticated than it looks.

ROBIN: The cuts are precise. Look how clean the edges are. Computer, increase magnification, factor four.
WESLEY: Only two people on board know enough about Data to do something like this. Commander La Forge and my mother.

I'm always skeptical about "only X people on board could do this" statements. Surely there's another engineer on board who has mucked around with Data's systems.

(Alyssa is in the lift, playing the game)

Chakoteya uses last names for everyone else, why not "Ogawa" here? How many people who aren't uberTrekkies like me even remember that her first name is Alyssa?

The Fiver

La Forge: Commander, I'm sure you know Ensign Lefler here. Her work is outstanding.
Riker: Hmm... a good-looking, intelligent young female ensign whom we've never seen before....
Lefler: I know, I know. I've got "love interest" written all over me.

No kidding.

Wesley: I can't get Data reactivated.
Lefler: Did you check the "off" button?
Wesley: Don't be ridiculous. As if Data has an "off" button.

At this point even if Data didn't have an off button, you'd imagine the crew would've found something to neutralize him.

Picard: Only Wesley stands in the way of our evil conspiracy. There's no way this can fail.
All: Mwahahahaha!
Riker: Actually, sir, Wesley usually manages to stop this kind of thing against unthinkable odds.
Picard: Don't interrupt the evil cackling!

Hehe.

Memory Alpha

* The crew went to the effort of making the suite on Risa match the Risan asthetic established in "Captain's Holiday". I'm surprised that they bothered, Risa wasn't a big deal yet.
* Data promise Beverly that he wouldn't mention the dancing lessons, but he told Wesley here. I thought Data couldn't lie...

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil is incredulous that Will only learns of Troi's chocolate addition now.
* He's surprised that the Sadie Hawkin's Dance still exists. Don't women ever ask out men in the progressive twenty-fourth century?
* Phil only brings up the differences in Worf's brain chemistry, but I must also bring up the Vulcans on board. Wouldn't they do thorough tests on the mental interface on this thing before using it?