30th Anniversary DS9 Discussion Marathon

[Nate the Great]

VENDOR: Sorry, we're all out.
(There's some on the front shelf counter.)
O'BRIEN: What? What are all these?
VENDOR: These aren't for sale.

Oh boy is this unnecessary. Has Winn actually ordered the Bajorans on the station not to do business with the Federation civilians? That's a diplomatic can of worms, isn't it?

I have to return to my argument from an earlier episode. Even if an anti-Federation faction drives the Federation from the station, Bajor is not capable of running it themselves, nor are they capable of defending it against the inevitable Cardassian attack. And by "inevitable" I mean "Dukat would be here with a fleet the day after."

WINN: Let me be the one to make the first concession. I will no longer request that you teach anything about the Celestial Temple. Just don't teach anything about the wormhole at all.
KEIKO: Ignore it?
WINN: Find other ways, other things to teach the children.

Ugh. This wouldn't solve anything. If you want to get pedantic about the wormhole, there are other things that Keiko is teaching that you wouldn't approve of. I wouldn't accept any form of ceasefire that doesn't include major concessions on the part of the Bajorans. Enough to teach the Provisional Government to keep the Vedeks on shorter leashes.

JAKE: No. There was only me and four other kids left, but she still kept the school open. She changed the lesson to teach us about Galileo. Did you know that he was tried by the Inquisition for teaching that the Earth moved around the sun?
SISKO: Tried and convicted. His books were burned.
JAKE: How could anyone be so stupid?

Because the Church had tremendous political power and chose to exercise that power in order to maintain it.

JAKE: But there were no Prophets. They were just some aliens that you found in the wormhole.
SISKO: To those aliens, the future is no more difficult to see than the past. Why shouldn't they be considered Prophets?
JAKE: Are you serious?
SISKO: My point is, it's a matter of interpretation. It may not be what you believe, but that doesn't make it wrong.

The Prophets have more right to the title "god" than that alien orbiting the planet of the Edo. But here's the point: the Prophets never claimed to be the only possible source of spiritual fulfillment. It's the radicals like Winn who said that. Furthermore, there was a lot more "blasphemy" in Bajoran space during the Occupation than now, and the Prophets never got rid of the Cardassians.

BAREIL: I'm sorry, Commander. The Vedek Assembly will not see you.
SISKO: Why not?
BAREIL: Some fear you as the symbol of a Federation they view as godless. Some fear you as the Emissary who has walked with the Prophets. And some fear you because Vedek Winn told them to. We're all very good conjuring up enough fear to justify whatever we want to do.

Thank goodness not all Vedeks are like Winn. They actually know what's going on.

SISKO: In other words, being my friend now might hurt your chances.
BAREIL: The Prophets teach us patience.
SISKO: It appears they also teach you politics.

I'm not a fan of this part. Bareil is supposed to be the genuine spiritual leader and serve as a contrast to Winn.

KIRA: Three Bajoran crewmen didn't report for duty. They said they weren't feeling well.
SISKO: Do you think it's contagious, Major?

I'm not a fan of this. Had they told the truth Sisko wouldn't have held it against them. His beef is with Winn, not all Bajorans, and THEY KNOW IT.

QUARK: You were looking for me? Don't tell me. There's a Bajoran convention on the station I didn't know about? Thanks, Odo. I need to call in more dabo girls
ODO: It's not a convention. They're from an orthodox spiritual order coming to support Vedek Winn's efforts to keep the Bajoran children out of school.
QUARK: Orthodox? In that case, I'll need twice as many dabo girls. These spiritual types love those dabo girls.

This is not the place for this plot point, the story is overstuffed as it is. Furthermore, sex scandals in the clergy seem a bit too racy for Trek in the nineties.

SISKO: The Prophets had nothing to do with what happened here today. This was the work of a disturbed and violent mind who listened to your voice, not the Prophets.
WINN: Is the Emissary holding me responsible for this act of terrorism?
SISKO: The Commander of this station is.

Oh, snap! (Am I too geeky to be able to pull of an "Oh, snap!"?)

WINN: You are not simply misguided as I once thought. Now I see that you want nothing less than to destroy us.
SISKO: Destroy you?
WINN: You live without a soul, Commander. You and your Federation exist in a universe of darkness and you would drag us in there with you. But we will not go.

The Federation has never forced atheism on anyone. At best you could claim that their officers are encouraged to avoid religious talk while on duty. And that's basic religious tolerance, something that the Bajorans still have to be taught. Which is weird, because they spent forty years being abused by the Cardassians every time they tried to express their faith. You'd think a simple request to not talk about it while you're at work for a few hours would be fulfilled.

KIRA: I envied Vedek Winn because she was a true believer. I wanted my faith to be as strong as hers.

In what universe does Winn appear to be truly pious?

The Fiver

O'Brien: Want a Sugar Daddy?
Keiko: The sign says "Jumja Sticks".
O'Brien: That's odd. Whenever I pass this place with Neela, she always says "Will you buy me one Sugar Daddy?"

I can't even remember the last time I had a Sugar Daddy. And that pun is painful.

Keiko: ...and that's why religion sucks. Now let's all bow our heads and pray to Albert Einstein.

I get the hyperbole, but I don't think Einstein was the right choice in this case. If I remember right Einstein was agnostic, not atheist. Big difference.

Winn: Humph! Infidel. I don't know why you get to see the Prophets, and I don't.

It took way to long for Winn to realize that the problem was her, not the Prophets.

Winn: Let me put forth an olive branch regarding the school; instead of actually teaching the students, why don't you just let them watch Rikki-tikki-tavi over and over?
Keiko: The Jungle Book, maybe, but Rikki-tikki-tavi? No way.

I knew of Rikki-tikki-tavi from Pop Culture Osmosis, but I never knew the plot. Reading it on Wikipedia, I fail to see the plot parallel.

Neela: Chief, would you ever be attracted to a Bajoran woman?
O'Brien: Only if she were carrying my wife's child.

Ick. I was going to make a reference to his wife in the alternate reality of "Children of Time", but I was mistaken. O'Brien married a human in that episode, not a Bajoran. Which is weird, because I should know that Kira is usually the only Bajoran who set foot on the Defiant.

Sisko: Geez, you're treating me like I was Dukat or someone.
Winn: I'd rather be with him than you.

Well, that's two unpleasant mental images for the price of one.

Memory Alpha

* Robert Hewitt Wolfe has an interesting description of the episode's theme, I recommend it.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Winn claims to have used multiple Orbs, but Phil says that they only had one after the Occupation. This is a minefield that I don't care to enter.
* Phil is surprised that someone has to put out the fire with a fire extinguisher instead of a containing forcefield like on the Enterprise. Maybe the Cardassians destroyed it on the way out and O'Brien hasn't had the chance to replace it yet.

[Nate the Great]

September 26th, 1993, "The Homecoming"

Let me say up front that I don't think the Circle trilogy turned out very well. A valiant attempt at serialization, but it was way too early in the show to try something like this.

Fiver by Marc

The Episode

ODO: You're up to something.
QUARK: Why would you say that?
ODO: Because you're always up to something.

Odo gets a lot of mileage out of this "you're acting like yourself, this is not a surprise" joke, doesn't he?

QUARK: Must I quote you the seventy-sixth Rule of Acquisition?
ROM: The seventy-sixth rule?
QUARK: Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

A very wise rule.

JAKE: I've got some great news.
SISKO: You passed your algebra test.
JAKE: Better than that.
SISKO: You learned out how to hit Bob Gibson's fast ball.
JAKE: No, even better.

Chakoteya was nice enough to link to Gibson's entry at baseball-reference.com. Gibson was a pitcher for the Cardinals in the sixties and seventies. Someone on the staff must've been a fan, because I'm shocked they didn't invoke Buck Bokai again.

JAKE: I was just wondering if you had any ideas what we could do. I was thinking of taking her to the holosuites.
SISKO: The holosuites? I don't think so.
JAKE: Why not?
SISKO: Because you're too young to take a girl to the holosuites.

I must question Sisko's position. The implication that all holosuite programs are sexual by default is something that might've made sense a year ago, but Quark has had plenty of time to obtain family-friendly programs.

I hope this isn't a general "I won't let you be alone with a girl, who knows what kind of hanky-panky you'll get up to" thing. He's taught Jake better than that.

SISKO: One Raktajino with a jacarine peel.

I can't imagine Klingon coffee would taste good with a fruit flavor added. We know that Klingons enjoy tea, couldn't Sisko order one of those?

SISKO: One icoberry torte.

I was surprised at how seldom icoberry tortes are mentioned on the show. As in twice, with a third mention in the form of icoberry juice. They make Jadzia's spots itch, you know...

KIRA: I need to borrow a runabout.
SISKO: For what?

Like I've already said, Kira should have a ship at her disposal as the liason officer. This is just a clunky way to provide an excuse for exposition.

KIRA: You really don't want to ask me that.
SISKO: It's too late. I already asked.
KIRA: You don't want to know the answer.
SISKO: Major, I can't loan you a Starfleet runabout without knowing where you plan on taking it.
KIRA: To Cardassia Four to rescue a Bajoran prisoner of war.
SISKO: You're right. I wish you hadn't told me.

Hehe.

KIRA: His body was never found. Look, Commander, I wouldn't be asking this if I thought there was another way to rescue Li. But Bajoran ships don't have the manoeuvrability or defensive capabilities to get me safely in and out of Cardassian territory.

I find the notion that there isn't a single Bajoran ship in the system that is as capable as a runabout absolutely ludicrous. And as I've mentioned before, the Bajoran Militia on the station should've been a given a runabout by now.

KIRA: Commander, you and I both know the provisional government is made up of political opportunists too busy fighting among themselves to care what happens to Bajor. Since the loss of the Kai, the situation has only gone from bad to worse. There are reports of factional fighting in half a dozen districts, religious riots have spread throughout the southern islands. Bajor needs a leader. Someone the people will listen to. Someone they can trust.

It's been a year and things haven't improved at all? Sure the loss of Opaka would be a setback, but I can't believe that things are still this bad. Furthermore, I would expect there to be ONE faction that would want to put as many Resistance leaders into positions of power ASAP.

O'BRIEN: The Circle, huh. What gives them the right to mess up our station?
ODO: They're an extremist faction who believe in Bajor for the Bajorans. All other species are inferior and should be expelled from the planet.

Ugh. UGH. Once again, something that would fit better in the first season. Has it not been proven yet that if the Federation left Bajor Dukat would be here with a fleet the next day?

SISKO: Supposing I do help, and she does rescue Li Nalas. What do we say to the Cardassians?
DAX: The question is, what do they say to us? They swore they released all their Bajoran prisoners.

This is a key problem. Suppose you prove that Cardassia still has Bajoran prisoners, then what? The Federation has made clear that they can't afford another war, there is no threat that Sisko can make that would not speed up said war.

SISKO: Now, is there any way we can prevent the Cardassian sensors from picking up the runabout's signature?
O'BRIEN: I could modulate the engine's power emissions, reconfigure the deflector shield grid, and install field buffers around the subspace emitter coil. By the time I'm done, the Cardassians will think they're reading a Lissepian transport.

Or, y'know, you could ask for Quark's help to obtain the use of a REAL Lissepian transport. It would be easier.

SISKO: You're an excellent pilot, Major, but Mister O'Brien here is better.

"He's even able to manually dock the Enterprise!"

[Nate the Great]

KIRA: Before we go, there's one thing we need to clear up between us.
O'BRIEN: And what would that be?
KIRA: This mission can end only one of two ways. Either we bring back Li Nalas or we don't come back at all.

Well, that's...insane.

JARO: You know your little adventure has made you some enemies in the Chamber of Ministers.
KIRA: I'm not surprised.

She doesn't already have enemies in the Chamber of Ministers?

(Three masked figures grab Quark, gag him and we hear someone use something that sizzles on his flesh)
(Later, medical help has arrived and we see the Circle brand on Quark's head.)

I fail to see the point in this. As I've already said, it would be easier to take over the planet and then evict Quark and the other aliens. These guys are supposed to be smarter than this.

JAKE: It was supposed to be. She couldn't make it.
SISKO: It happens.
JAKE: She said her father wouldn't let her go out with me.
SISKO: Why not?
JAKE: Because I'm not a Bajoran.
SISKO: That's not much of a reason.

It is far FAR too soon for anti-Federation racism. "In The Hands of the Prophets" was like a month ago!

SISKO: The Nanut isn't scheduled to return from the Gamma Quadrant for two years.
LI: Actually I planned on staying there considerably longer.

It's too soon for deep-space missions in the Gamma Quadrant. We still haven't mapped all major governments within a thousand lightyears of the wormhole.

SISKO: They still need you.
LI: But I am not the man that they think I am.
SISKO: Perhaps not. But Bajor doesn't need a man. It needs a symbol, and that's what you are. No one's asking you to lead troops into battle, or to kill a hundred Cardassians with your bare hands. I saw you in front of the crowd on the Promenade. They look at you and they see strength, and honour, and decency. They look at you and they see the best in themselves.
LI: But it's all based on a lie.
SISKO: No. It's based on a legend. And legends are as powerful as any truth. Bajor still needs that legend. It needs you.

I'm not comfortable with this. It doesn't matter if Sisko is right or not, the point is that Nalas is a man who has the right to do what he wants. He has committed no crime and Sisko can't make him a prisoner.

The Fiver

Rionoj: Hello, Quark. Would you do me a favour in exchange for a little oo-mox?
Quark: Gladly. Seeing you walk around in that catsuit is already the next best thing to oo-mox.
Rionoj: My fashion designer will be pleased to hear that. I'll pass along your compliment the next time I'm on Vulcan.

For an Enterprise joke this is rather weak.

Kira: So did I. Now we can add "coming back from the dead" to his long list of accomplishments.
Sisko: I didn't think there was any room left on his c.v. to squeeze in another item.
Kira: I've spoken to the Provisional Government, sir. They've already agreed to print a new expanded edition.

A better punchline would've been "The Provisional Government has officially authorized him to have a two-page resume."

Prisoner: All right, then let's beam up to your ship in alphabetical order.
O'Brien: Sounds fair. What are the first letters in the Bajoran alphabet?
Prisoner: "L" and "N," of course.

The Bajoran alphabet has 25 letters, each of which can be flipped and rotated one of eight ways. In Strange New Worlds Uhura is fluent in the language, which I don't like; Cardassian/Bajoran space is supposed to be far beyond the borders of the known 23rd century powers.

Li: But it never was a duel! I accidentally caught him skinny-dipping and he died of embarrassment!
Sisko: Then why does everyone think you fought him hand-to-hand for twelve days and twelve nights? Did you lie about what happened?
Li: No, but it was the Resistance's first victory in months, so our propaganda people took a few liberties with my report.
Sisko: It also sounds like they had help from one or two Klingons along the way.

It was Kahless and his brother that fought for twelve days, or so the history books will tell you. In reality...well, you should really read Kahless.

Li: But I'm not the great man they think I am!
Sisko: That doesn't matter. Someone once said, "Don't try to be a great man; just be a man and let history make its own judgments."

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate the First Contact version of Cochrane?

Memory Alpha

* There won't be another three-parter in Trek until Enterprise's Borderland/Cold Station 12/The Augments.
* First episode where Morn doesn't appear. That's a surprise.

Nitpicker's Guide

* How could Quark be ambushed like that when Sisko specifically said that there can't be any low-security areas of the station anymore. Frankly, I'm shocked that Quark was counting money without locking the doors first. And doesn't he have a back room for this sort of thing?
* Phil has a problem with Jake struggling with algebra when kids younger than him were studying calculus in "When The Bough Breaks". I would argue that you still use algebra in the process of doing calculus. In fact, since I'm an engineer, not a mathematician, I use algebra MORE than calculus!
* Why did Sisko use two different replicators for his coffee and pastry?
* Phil questions the economics of the Replimat. I don't. It would be child's play to program the things to recognize Sisko's voice and automatically deduct the money from his account.
* O'Brien outright says that the runabout's transporter can only beam two at a time. I know that there are only two transporter pads, but TNG's shuttles don't have any and they were beaming THREE at a time! Incidentally, three people will be beamed by a runabout at once in the very next episode! Oops.
* Somehow Kira storms into Sisko's office without ringing the doorbell. Oops.

[Nate the Great]

October 4th, 1993, "The Circle"

My biggest problem is that this episode basically consists of setting up stuff for the third part, without any consideration to being a satisfying episode by itself, because it's not. The sheer amount of exposition on display here is a disgrace.
*
Fiver by Derek

The Episode

JARO: But I expected you to be celebrating. I was under the impression that Major Kira has been nothing but trouble to you since
SISKO: Who gave you that impression?
JARO: Common knowledge.

While I have no doubt that there'd be gossip about this on Bajor, I would hope that it would stay current. Kira's character arc has developed past contacting admirals behind Sisko's back.

SISKO: Major Kira has my complete respect. She's been invaluable in establishing this command post. And now she's been dismissed without anyone consulting me and I don't appreciate it.
JARO: Commander, Starfleet doesn't consult us when they wish to promote one of their officers.

Because there aren't any Starfleet officers who serve under Bajoran officers. At least in the way they're talking about.

ODO: Have you asked Sisko for help?
KIRA: I'm sure he'll do whatever he thinks is best for the station.
ODO: You haven't even gone to him?
KIRA: Well what do you want me to do, Odo?
ODO: Fight for what you want. It's what you do best.

I find myself questioning Odo's exact position with the Bajoran Militia. He should know better than most about how military hierarchies work.

Furthermore, how exactly is Kira supposed to "fight for what she wants"? She has enough enemies in the Provincional Government as it is, trying to rally her supporters for an official objection would cause nothing but bad blood.

For that matter, the balance between the pro- and anti-Federation factions in the Council of Ministers is precarious enough as it is, the scandal caused by Kira's objection would tip the balance enough to cause the very civil war that Kira is fighting to prevent. She's too smart to want that, she knows that her career isn't worth the fallout.

ODO: Now I suppose they'll expect me to break in a new man.
KIRA: A great man. Li Nalas can handle the job, believe me.

How is Odo supposed to train Nalas?

DAX: Do you have any idea where you'll be stationed?
KIRA: Come in. Not yet. They say that after I've taken some leave time, I've earned a desk at the foreign affairs building somewhere.

Well, that sounds absolutely awful. Why aren't they giving her command of a patrol ship in the DMZ? In fact, she'd be happier retiring as a farmer, wouldn't she?

DAX: This is Kira's decision to make. Unless of course you want me to talk to Sisko.
KIRA: I knew what I was doing. I knew the risk.
ODO: That's not what she asked.

A good point.

BAREIL: I hope I'm not interrupting.
KIRA: No. Please come in. These are my (pause) These are my friends.

That pause of realization is very important.

(Then she sees it.)
KIRA: Oh, Bareil. All my life I've dreamed of this.
(Bareil opens the orb case.)

This is her first Orb experience? She hasn't had the opportunity in all this time? This demands further explanation.

ODO: Where would the Circle be getting so many weapons?
QUARK: The Kressari.
ODO: The Kressari? That doesn't make sense. The Kressari don't even have a military.

The Kressari make a number of background appearances in DS9, but they were never that important. My biggest problem is Odo's disconnect between weapons and military. Why can't a race without a military still make and sell weapons? The Orions seem to be doing just fine with this business strategy.

ODO: Quark. I hate to do this, but I guess I'll have to.
QUARK: That's not fair.
ODO: I haven't done anything yet.
QUARK: Whatever you're going to do, it's not fair.
ODO: You're a deputy.
QUARK: It's not. What?
ODO: You're a deputy.

Great scene. I'm reminded of when Garak made the offer to be deputized in "The Way of the Warrior."

LI: No problem. What about the station while you're gone?
SISKO: Dax and Mister O'Brien can handle things in Ops. If you need any other help

"Handing things in Ops" is not quite the same as "acting station commander." Kira has been trained to do this, Nalas hasn't. Frankly, this goes back to the "everyone should be training a replacement for themselves" thing that I've mentioned before. Kira in particular should have a second-in-command that Nalas could use as a backup.

WINN: We've met before, haven't we? Major? Major?
KIRA: Kira Nerys.
WINN: That's right. Major Kira. From the space station.

Ugh. This whole "I'm too important for little people" thing is used way too much to indicate "this person is a jerk".

WINN: A worthy endeavour for someone who has led such a life of violence, child. And I'm sure the Assembly would have had no objection to your encounter with an orb had Vedek Bareil consulted us.
BAREIL: No one has ever been held to that formality.
WINN: You're right, of course. But I've always consulted with the Assembly in advance.

Having to ask the Vedek Assembly for permission for every Orb encounter seems like something that's just asking for trouble. Especially if DS9 is supposed to have an Orb at their Temple. For that matter, why isn't there a Vedek stationed on DS9? It would seem like an obvious addition, a religious leader to compliment the military leader.

SISKO: There is concern in some quarters that the military is unwilling to confront the forces of the Circle.
KRIM: I don't know with whom you've been speaking, Commander.
SISKO: I've been observing troop movements. Every time there is a potential confrontation, the military withdraws to a safer position.
KRIM: You can't possibly appreciate that this is Bajoran against Bajoran.

And? Kira's been warning Sisko of a Bajoran Civil War for a year! Furthermore, if the idea of Bajorans not fighting themselves is supposed to be that important, it raises important questions regarding the Maquis and the DMZ colonists.

KRIM: Commander Sisko, you told me about the Kressari before you asked the favour regarding Kira. You could've tried to trade that information for the favour.
SISKO: I wouldn't do that.
KRIM: I'll remember that about you.

It's a shame this won't lead anywhere.

LI: I am First Officer Li Nalas. Can I help you?

Does Kira ever introduce herself like this? You'd think Li Nalas would be given the honorary rank of Major to use in situations like this.

(The Kressari appear to be spiky cousins of the Narn from Babylon 5)

I don't see it. Both races have vaguely reptilian appearances, but Kressari are closer to lizards and Narn are closer to turtles.

[Nate the Great]

SISKO: The Circle is for real, Major. They've been armed for a coup and I'm not at all convinced that the military's going to back the provisional government.

The biggest problem with the Circle trilogy is that in three episodes we never really MEET them, we just hear people TALK about them. That's a big difference. Elsewhere in Trek we can have exposition about what the Klingons or the Dominion is doing offscreen because we understand what the Klingons are about. Furthermore we have characters who represent these groups. The Circle has no spokesman like Worf or Weyoun or Garak.

Frankly the Bajoran Civil War should've been a subplot across half a season, not just a three parter. Furthermore, Kira's subplot here of spiritual discovery and starting to date Bariel should've been in a different episode.

JARO: Major, I don't have to tell you. I've heard your opinion of this government. Government. They can't even agree it is a government, so they call it provisional. It's just another word for powerless. I won't allow the Bajoran people to be powerless any more.

I've said before that the Provisional Government shouldn't have lasted this long. I despise it when "temporary" governments (in fiction or real life) let themselves become permanent without a solid bedrock to build themselves upon.

I also recall the failed years of the Articles of Confederation. The government didn't work, but nobody was calling it "temporary."

JARO: We have been doormats to the Cardassians and now the Federation. Any great power that happens by. We will not be that again. We are a people who brought art and architecture to countless planets. We don't deserve to be victims.

Would the Bajorans PLEASE stop acting like the Federation is no different from the Cardassians? The Bajorans have had a year to explain how the Federation is oppressing them, and the closest they ever got is "a single schoolteacher is refusing to teach about Bajoran beliefs even though there should be a Vedek onboard to do the job better than she could." (Seriously, the issues from "In the Hands of the Prophets" may have been exploited by Winn, but she wasn't creating something from nothing, so what happened to the real resolution there?)

JARO:Major, I've heard you have no love for the Federation. I'm not an unreasonable man. I'm willing to send you back to the station if that's what you want. I'll give you that station after we get rid of Starfleet.

I'm still a little confused about how Bajor thinks it could even run the station without Federation assistance. Even IF the threat of Dukat showing up tomorrow with a fleet to take back Bajor didn't exist (and trust me, it DOES exist!), Bajor doesn't have the resources necessary to encourage trade! They can barely feed themselves, much less export anything! What are they going to do, start charging a toll for wormhole access? Good luck enforcing that with the ships you have! Good luck upgrading the station's defenses!

ODO: Courtesy of a Cardassian weapon. The Circle's being supplied by the Cardassians.
KIRA: What?
ODO: I borrowed the proof. (the manifest PADD) It's got a Gul's thumbscan on it.

"A Gul"? While I have no doubt that Dukat himself wouldn't want to be a part of this plan, you could at least create a new name. "Gul X? He was Dukat's rival for years! If the Occupation hadn't have ended he'd probably command his own squadron by now! Could it be that he wants to prove that he can conquer Bajor more efficiently than Dukat?"

CHEKOTE [on monitor]: Then you're saying it's a genuine political revolution internal to Bajor.
SISKO: Supported by the Cardassians.
CHEKOTE [on monitor]: But internal to Bajor. The Cardassians might involve themselves in other people's civil wars, but we don't. The Prime Directive applies, Ben.

Grumble grumble. I thought we were past the era of "Prime Directive=all Federation law regarding contact with other governments".

SISKO: I mean a complete evacuation. I intend to take all Starfleet instruments, materiel. In fact, all Federation property of every kind. How quickly can we do that?
O'BRIEN: Sir, that'll take days. A week, for all I know.

I jolly well hope it would take longer than that. Some Federation equipment is probably pretty well integrated with the ship's systems by now. Plus some rather large equipment like auxilliary generators and sensor arrays to study the wormhole.

The Fiver

Bareil: Well then, you should come to Rivendell, the last homely monastery. But you should be careful, things might heat up with the Circle.
Kira: Don't worry, I'll be packing heat.

I'm not seeing a parallel between a Bajoran monastary and Rivendell. Besides, everyone knows that the Vulcans are the Space Elves, Bajorans are closer to Space Hobbits in terms of culture.

Bareil: Hey, Kira. Would you like to see something with an hourglass figure?
Kira: Uh, this isn't a monastery of ill repute, is it?
Bareil: Only when Vedek Winn's here.

Burn!

Dax: Now listen very carefully. Your life may depend on what I'm about to tell you. You need to --
Winn: -- comprendre que l'étendue du Cercle est le carré du rayon multiplié par pi.
Kira: What? Go where? I don't understand.
Jaro: Je pense que je vais adopter "Appuyons Jaro, notre prochain roi!" comme slogan.
Kira: I don't see why people like these orb experiences so much.

"--understand that the area of the circle is the square of the radius multiplied by pi." "I think I'm going to adopt 'Support Jaro, our next King!' as my slogan." These two French jokes seem rather disjointed.

Winn: Sorry to interrupt this conversation but I'd like to say a couple of things that are vaguely disquieting.
Bareil: Um, sure. Go ahead.
Winn: Old oily Ollie oils old oily autos.
Kira: I don't get it.

Apparently this is a known tongue twister, but I'd never heard of it before.

Winn: What are you doing tonight, Jaro?
Jaro: Same thing I do every night; try to take over the world.
Winn: So what's in it for me?
Jaro: Same thing that's always in it for you; try to take over the religious world.
Winn: Excellent. Let us now commence our evil cackling. Mwahahahaha!

I didn't watch that much Pinky and the Brain as a kid, in fact the whole Animaniacs/Freakazoid corner of KidsWB wasn't really my thing.

Memory Alpha

* The creators knew that they'd dropped the ball on Nalas' story arc.
* First episode to feature Sisko's baseball on his desk.
* In the previous episode it's stated that a runabout can only beam two people at a time, and the rule has already been broken in this one. I think the whole idea is stupid. Runabouts have a proper transporter pad, and they can't do as well as a shuttle did back in "Best of Both Worlds"?

Nitpicker's Guide

* In the last episode the Circle graffitied a low security area and Sisko said to beef up security. In this episode they graffiti Sisko's door! Why isn't Odo doing his job?
* Odo will be on the Kressari ship for a time longer than his regeneration period. This isn't really a nit, I have no doubt that Odo can find a place to sleep.
* Sisko told everyone to slap a commbadge on Kira as soon as they find her, but Bashir tries to untie her first, giving the Circle the chance to shoot him. This doesn't even require genetic modification, just some common sense!
* Phil also wonders why Kira didn't use the orb back in "Emissary."

[Nate the Great]

October 10th, 1993, "The Siege"

Fiver by Kira

The Episode

SISKO: Governments can break off relations with an edict. It's not so easy when it comes down to our level. Lieutenant Bilecki here is engaged to a young man from Bajor. Ensign Kelly. Ensign Kelly's daughter and a Bajoran girl worked together on a prize-winning science fair project. All of us who have served on the station for the past year have made Bajoran friends. We've come to care about what happens to these people. I know I do. So I've decided to stay.

Yeah, it doesn't work like that. Sisko is disobeying orders. Furthermore, does anyone really think that if the Federation leaves now it'll never be back? Even assuming that Gul Dukat isn't here with a fleet tomorrow to reconquer the planet, any new government will be just as unstable as the provisional one that they just overthrew.

SISKO: Non-Bajorans won't be safe here. Our families, children have to be evacuated.

Evacuated where? It occurs to me that the location of the closest proper Starfleet Starbase should've been established by now, along with a standard time interval of when the closest starship could arrive.

QUARK: Hundreds of people to evacuate and only three tiny runabouts available.

Seriously? Even putting aside the distinct possibility of hiring nonaligned ships to carry people back to the Federation (surely Morn has room in his cargo ship), there should've been a proper passenger ship here by now to evacuate the Starfleet crew.

And to be frank, the idea that Quark wouldn't maintain his own Ferengi shuttle for a quick getaway is patently ridiculous.

ROM: You can't make me. I won't sell my seat.
QUARK: Rom
ROM: No, I won't stay and be killed just to fill your pockets.

I repeat-what would be achieved by the Circle killing the civilians indiscriminately? As I've said many times, even if an anti-Ferengi government is established on Bajor, they'd evict Quark, not execute him.

O'BRIEN: I don't have any choice.
KEIKO: Don't you?
O'BRIEN: He needs me.
KEIKO: We don't?
O'BRIEN: We can't just let the Cardies have the wormhole.

O'Brien has his priorities a bit skewed. The Cardassians' priority is Bajor itself, not the wormhole. And frankly they have a lot of work to do to reestablish their control on Bajoran space before they even think of sending anyone to conquer the Gamma Quadrant.

Dukat would be busy for the next year at least sending the Bajorans to labor camps and executing members of the Resistance, O'Brien should be worries about that!

DAX: I've scanned every subspace communication window to find a frequency to Bajor. They've got them completely jammed.

I would hope that the Cardassians would set up the station to maintain contact with Bajor no matter what sabotage the Resistance attempted.

LI: The Lunar Five base?
KIRA: You think there's still a ship there?
LI: We managed to get a few sub-impulse raiders underground before the Cardassians hit us, but that was ten years ago.

Our heroes haven't scanned the entire Bajoran system by now? I shudder to think how slow a "sub-impulse raider" goes, and the idea of crossing half a star system on thrusters alone gives me the willies.

ODO: He's been brokering seats on the evacuation vessels.
SISKO: Where did you get more seats?
QUARK: Everybody always asks the brokers where they get their extra seats, and all I can say is, it's my business to find preferred seating for a select list of clients
SISKO: I have got more than two hundred people who want to get off this station. Where did you get more seats?
QUARK: A few trades. A person here or there who changed his mind about leaving at the sight of a reasonable stipend.

I'm still confused about how this is supposed to work. Quark spends an exorbitant amount of money to buy tickets from civilians hoping to get an obscene amount of money selling them? To be frank, how many people on DS9 can afford to spend an obscene amount of money? Furthermore, the Ferengi code must have a standard risk/reward formula that this situation would not meet. Quark should've concentrated on getting enough seats to get his most prized possessions off the station ASAP. Don't forget the 125th Rule of Acquisition: You can't make a deal if you're dead!

BASHIR: We're having a bit of a panic at the airlocks, sir. Far more passengers than we can handle have shown up and they all claim to have made arrangements to leave.
QUARK: I might have overbooked slightly.
SISKO: On my way.
QUARK: It's an accepted Ferengi transit practice.

Yeah, that's stupid. It makes you wonder if there's any sort of fraud protection in the Ferengi Alliance, because if there isn't the money would become too concentrated and cause mass poverty very quickly. You can't base a society on profit alone, is what I'm saying.

(Morn and Kira board.)

I guess the idea that Morn runs a cargo ship and only uses DS9 as a home base hasn't been invented yet.

ARO: Leaders like us.
WINN: If I am so favoured by the Vedek Assembly.
JARO: You don't have to worry about that. Twenty six hours after I'm sworn into office, I'll direct the Vedek Assembly to elect you Kai. Together, we will rebuild Bajor.

The very idea that the Vedek Assembly is susceptible to political pressure is absurd. I could've sworn that church and state are kept fairly separate on Bajor (aside from that time Winn tried to become First Minister, of course).

DAX: How did you ever win a war in these things?
KIRA: We were the insects, Lieutenant. The Cardassians were just as allergic as Trills. Is the proximity system working?

Technically it wasn't a war, and technically the Resistance were just insects, the Federation "won" the war. And technically nobody "won" the war, they just declared a ceasefire while they licked their wounds.

O'BRIEN: Eat hearty. The replicators crash in sixteen minutes. This'll have to last awhile.
SISKO: Combat rations, Chief? Couldn't you replicate something a little more palatable?

Under these circumstances there has to be a step up from combat rations.

O'BRIEN: Miracle of science, these little combat rations. Timed release formula of all the nutrients the body needs for three days. I love 'em. Only thing I miss about the Cardassian front.

Yeah, that's absurd. Military rations were never meant to taste good. My dad was military-adjacent for decades, I've had my share of rations. And truth be told, while I might enjoy certain parts of them as a once-in-awhile novelty, I would never want to have to live on these things.

O'BRIEN: Well, I would have expected you of all people to appreciate the nutritional value of combat rations.
BASHIR: Actually, when I was in Med school, I designed an incredible candy bar which was far superior in food value.

The thing about chocolate is that it actually is healthy in certain ways (from a military standpoint, at least). I seem to recall that after its discovery there were militaries that used it. As hot chocolate, of course, solid chocolate bars weren't perfected for hundreds of years after European discovery.

[Nate the Great]

DAX: Navigational sensors aren't functioning.
KIRA: No problem.
DAX: No problem? Big problem. Without navigational sensors
KIRA: we'll have to fly by the seat of our pants.
DAX: Great. Seat of the pants technology.
KIRA: You Starfleet types are too dependant on gadgets and gizmos. You lose your natural instincts for survival.

Ugh. Without navigational sensors you don't have a clue where Bajor is, where it's going, or where your ship is going to crash into Bajor!

Look, I'm all for the analogies with guerilla warfare and having to navigate by the stars, but this ship is being held together with spit, mud, and prayers as it is. Even an accidental impact with another ship will leave you dying in the vacuum or burning up on reentry.

DAX: Not so good. The phaser locks are dead. There's no way to aim.
KIRA: Sure there is.
DAX: I know, I know. Seat of the pants.
KIRA: With your eyes, Lieutenant, not your pants. Just point at them and fire.

And here we go again. Even IF you can keep your ship under control so it doesn't smash into anything, there's no way you can keep track of another ship that's shooting at you. Even a glancing blow and you're in vacuum like I already said.

KIRA: No, the evidence speaks for itself. You have to leave me. That's an order, Lieutenant.
DAX: The Federation officially left Bajor yesterday. You're no longer my commanding officer.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that, but I'm not in the mood to speculate about how much authority Bajoran Militia officers have over Starfleet ones.

LI: I've done everything I can to help. I'd die for my people but
SISKO: Sure you would. Dying gets you off the hook. Question is, are you willing to live for your people? Live the role they want you to play. That's what they need from you right now.

The problem here is that Li has been in the background for the entire trilogy. What will all the time wasted on the other subplots we haven't been given a reason to care about Li Nalas. This whole civil war thing should've been a six parter at the very least.

DAX: It's the only way we can get to the Chamber of Ministers.
BAREIL: Members of religious orders are the only ones who can travel safely in the streets. I'm going to escort you.

This is ridiculous, but like I already said, the writers are trying to cram WAY TOO MUCH into this trilogy.

QUARK: Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother! Rule of Acquisition number thirty-one.

Considering women's rights on Ferenginar, you have to wonder why that one was invented. I just don't see Gint as being a Momma's boy.

KIRA: This is a manifest PADD from a Kressari vessel. It bears the thumbscan of a Cardassian Gul who transferred weapons to that ship. Those weapons were taken by the Kressari to the Circle. This coup will deliver Bajor back into the hands of its greatest enemies. Are you willing to live under Cardassian rule again?

Seriously, not inventing a name for this Gul is just stupid.

The Fiver

Quark: There aren't enough runabouts for everyone to get off the station, Rom. Do you know what this means?
Rom: One of us is going to have a whirlwind romance before dying tragically?
Quark: No, idiot! We're going to be rich!
Rom: By finding a priceless blue diamond?
Quark: Shut up. Just shut up.

So Titanic was still a cultural force in 2005. I'm amazed that it stayed that popular that long.

Jake: Nog, I'd just like to say... you're the best bad influence a guy could ever have.
Nog: And you're the best patsy a troublemaker could ask for.
Music: Near... far... wherever you are....

I've never actually watched Titanic, were Jake and Nog's dialog close to an exchange from the movie?

Odo: Actually, Quark, I'd like you to explain these.
Sisko: A wig, high heels, and a woman's dress?
Quark: Hey, if you don't approve of that sort of thing then you should update your "women and children first" policy.

Another Titanic joke. It wasn't worth it.

Dax: You expect us to fly this hunk of junk? What if it breaks down in mid-flight?
Kira: Well, you have to compare it to other modes of travel, such as hurling yourself naked through the vacuum. Or flying in a shuttle with Chakotay.
Dax: True.

How many shuttles did Chakotay crash? The only one I can recall is the one in Nemesis.

O'Brien: What are we going to do now, Commander?
Sisko: We're going to do what we do every night, Chief: try and take over the station.

I'm surprised O'Brien didn't say "Narf!" after that one.

Bajoran Soldier: What the...? Who the hell are you?
Bashir: Bashir. Julian Bashir. You have the right to remained suckered, suckers.
Sisko: (over the comm) Good work, Doctor.
Bashir: Thank you, sir. I was going to go with "I'm Julian Bashir! Don't you read history?" but then I thought --

Generations, too? Was I supposed to get a Bingo card before reading this fiver?

Sisko: Not until I've delivered this message. "Honorable ministers, distinguished Vedeks, I come to you under the gravest of circumstances. The..."

Apparently this is a Phantom Menace quote. I guess Kira was on a late-'90s kick with this one.

Kira: I'm not leaving until I deliver this message. "Colonel Day, years ago you served your people in the Cardassian Wars. Now they beg you to help them in their struggle against..." Wait, this isn't the right message....

Or a general Star Wars kick. Whatever.

Sisko: Well, all's well that ends well.
O'Brien: What are you talking about? Li Nalas is dead, and we still haven't rid Bajor of factionalism, political unrest, religious extremism, and economic chaos.

Exactly. What has this trilogy really solved?

Memory Alpha

* There were plans to reuse Li Nalas, but my immediate rebuttal is that they didn't do a good job characterizing him here and thus there wasn't anywhere for his character arc to go. Seriously, from the start he was broadcasting the message "I'm going to die!", the only question was how well he was going to die.
* The director wanted to do a two-parter. I don't see how. Even if they threw out the Kira/Bariel thing, and Vedek Winn, and Kira and Dax in a rickety ship, there was more than they could resolve in THREE hours, much less two.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Back in "Progess" they made the fifth moon of Bajor uninhabitable, so where is the "Lunar V Base"?
* Why wasn't Quark punished? Because there wasn't enough time in the episode, that's why. I hope Odo punished him offscreen.
* Phil questions Kira's use of the expression "flying by the seat of our pants." I don't, the Universal Translator has to have a telepathic link with the user to work in the first place, idiom translation has never been past it's abilities (except for that stupid Darmok episode, of course).
* How can Dax give directions in terms of "o'clock" when Bajoran and Federation clocks are different. (For that matter, who says that Bajorans use rotary clocks?)
* Phil also has a problem with Quark keeping all of his money in latinum. I don't, we've seen many times that Ferengi prefer to use hard currency wherever possible. Call it the Scrooge McDuck effect.
* Where did Dax get surgically altered into a Bajoran?
* Jake speaks of Nog returning to school, but Phil points out that Rom banned him from school back in "The Nagus."
* Sisko implies that they fit two hundred people in three runabouts. Phil finds that unlikely, I say that Sisko made it clear that not everyone could fit, hence the tickets that Quark bought and sold.