Group Adaptive Story - Like the onebyone story, only stranger.

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Delenn and John decided to get married. Due to the strange life, er, deaths, er, lives of John, they flew to Las Vegas and had a quickie marriage. Xander was best man; Willow Maid of Honour; Picard performed the ceremony; Data sang about socks; and there were many guests. But...
All was not well in the town of Las Vegas. There was a stange shadow creeping in from the West. Galadriel left her Middle Earth to help Legolas light the shadow. But they failed.

Kira was angered that a sci-fi 'ship could actually work. So went and killed John, there on the alter, in the name of All The Ships That Failed. Of course, John could not die permeanently...[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]They kiss.

As they kissed, a mysterious cloud surrounded John. There was a voice that said "Let the dying curse be gone," then the cloud disappeared.

"Delenn? That sounds like a wonderful name."
She smiled. John smiled. They kiss some more.

(Either this is a flashback, or an alternate universe where John is in love with a human form of Delenn)[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="NeoMatrix"]Either this is a flashback, or an alternate universe where John is in love with a human form of Delenn[/quoteost_uid0]

Not part of the story, but... what the heck do you mean the [iost_uid0]human[/iost_uid0] form of Delenn? I'm pretty sure John is completely capable of kissing Delenn as a half-Minbari, half-human hybrid as well (when he's not dead, that is). I even have pictorial evidence. [iost_uid0]Plenty[/iost_uid0] of pictorial evidence, in fact.

Hang on, wait, I get it... Neo... you weren't talking about... about the [iost_uid0]tribble[/iost_uid0], were you?

Dude, that was in the One-By-One story. And as you know, [iost_uid0]everything[/iost_uid0] outside the One-By-One story is relatively considered an AU because... because... Um, well, I shall just say that the One-By-One is so far off canon (and in fact, so far off the map of sanity) that anything else, by comparison, doesn't even need two miracles to be tacked with the title "St."

Okay, a lame pun that probably no-one except myself and the voices in my head will get. No matter.

Someone had better continue this story before I do tomorrow morning or it's going to get NC-17 [iost_uid0]real[/iost_uid0] fast...[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The shared flashback ended in Delenn and John's heads. John was again, indeed, very dead. Delenn cried, and Kira came back into herself.
"What happened to me? she asked, "I've never killed like that before!"
"It is within your mind..." said Galadriel.Tara interupted:
"There is great anger within you, Kira, and it is not yours. It is as if..as if you are being controlled by someone"
"How can anyone be controlled by someone else?" asked sweet Legolas.
"Shouldnt your wisdom tell you that"? said Aragorn.
"Um, I'm John version 47.47" said John," Can we continue with the flashback instead of fighting, please?"[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][iost_uid0]{Damn. Opium beat me to the smut...}[/iost_uid0]

And the stars began falling from the sky.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The scene was set for a lovely flashback, when...
BOOM.
"What the bloody heck was that BOOM?" asked Jack.
"I wanted attention, as I am the strongest!" said Aragorn.
"Um...riiiggghhhttt" said Legolas
Suddenly, though, there was another BOOM, with a flash of light.
Josie the Human Woman and Giles appeared in an old car that backfired.
"Have we missed any action?" said Giles.
"Um..." said the crowd.
"I WANT MY SMUTTY FLASHBACK!" said John 47 (or was it 17?)

(still Friday here)[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"And get it you shall," said the Josie with a wave of her wand, "for I am the Blue Fairy and I have the power to grant you one wish."[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]...and Éowyn appeared.
"Oops, I may be a little rusty" said Josie.
"Well, I was wondering how to get here!I want to be in the action!" said Éowyn
"There isnt much of that right now" said John, "AND THAT"S THE PROBLEM!"
"Calm down,I'm hungover! I'm sure it'll heat up" said Jack.
"Er...Eowyn, hi. I've, um, got to go and...stand over there" said Aragorn.
"Eowyn, how ARE you doing? Want to go to dinner" said Legolas.
"That's it. I'm dying." said John, as Gimli fell in and crushed him.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Ah!" said Gimli. "A soft landing, at last... Quinn? Wade? Oh, wait, I'm in the wrong series, aren't I?"[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"I don't know what series you belong in," said John, standing up again, " But it's probably not this story, since I don't remember you ever killing me."[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Aye, I only kill evil being, Orcs and politicians in paticular" said Gimli," But I did just kill you as I landed on you"
"Um...yah. Sure. I've got to go watch those guys dance." said John.
Aragorn had decided to nance, prance, sing and dance showtunes to get Eowyn to stop liking him. However, Legolas started doing the same, to GET Eowyn to like him. And in fact, she liked men who could show they liked musicals.
"Oh Legolas, you are wonderful. Wanna go to Showboat?" she said. Legolas agreed.
Gimlie pouted. He liked Eowyn. John and him drank a lot of beer.
"Phew, another girl off my back" said Aragorn, when suddenly someone unexpected stepped into the Sci-Fi-Con...

(darn. still monday)[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]... which promptly exploded.

(It was a Sliders reference, for those not in the know... John Rhys-Davies played Arturo in the series.)[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"This is because there where to many two-character persons" said Willow.
Everyone was back in the trainstation.Frodo and Samwise, Alf, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Picard,Crusher, Uhura, Han Solo,Mulder and Scully appeared.
"I TOLD you the truth was out there" said Mulder.
"What, in a Group Adaptive story?" asked Scully."I did one of these for 4th year sociology. It ended up being about Skywalker, Alf, Pic..wow, they're all here. Wierd."
"Oh. Well then. Here they are again" said Mulder.
"Huh, so which character do you guys kill every day?" asked Scully."Ours was Luke"
"It's me" said John, who was twitching and shaking. A lot.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Scully shot him.
"What did you do that for?" asked John when he reappeared from behind a tree.
"A mysterious voice told me you hadn't died for more than four days." Scully answered.
"A mysterious voice?" Mulder repeated. "And you can't explain it? Let's find the source."[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"There!" said John, pointing to the sky.
They all looked up.
Unfortunately it wasn't the source of the voice.
It was a very large anvil headed for them at a Ludicrous Speed.
The anvil fell on them and pulped them all.

Ouch.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"That's odd. It missed me," said John. "I am still alive!"
"There must be a reason why you are still alive," said a dying Mulder.
"The truth is out there," said John.
"Hey, that's my line!" said Mulder.
"No it isn't!" yelled John.
"Says who?" asked Mulder.
"The credits," said John.
"Oh," said Mulder just before dying.
John turns around and walks off a cliff.
"I sure hope there is water down there!" yelled John
"Nope, just some sharp rocks to break your fall," said the mysterious voice.
"Bummer" *Distant Splat*
"Yep, it broke my fall," exclaimed John, who had a sharp rock protruding through his mid section.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]But, Tara, who was also sick of dying, did a spell to save Legolas, Aragorn, Jack, Frodo, Samwise and Willow. They all stood in disbelief as once again John died.
"Well, at least it got OJake" said Jack.
"He seemed like a nice fella, all bookish like" said Samwise.
"Yes, I quite liked him" said Frodo.
"HEY! ISNT ANYONE GOING TO WRITE DEATH SCENE #2034?" asked John.
"You are not dead yet. Would you like me to ease the suffereing?" said Aragorn.
"No, but some Elven medicine would help" said John.
"Sorry, I've used up all my John Death Cure" said Aragorn.
And John died. Again.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The old elevator came to a sudden jurky stop on the 1st floor. The rusty doors opened slowly with an annoying squeel. Tara, Legolas, Aragorn, Jack, Frodo, Samwise and Willow turned around to see who was coming out. They could not see who it was because the elevator created a dust cloud around the door. Slowly the dust settled and they saw who it was. There was much surprise on the onlookers' faces when they saw that the first person to step off the elevator was OJake. He was followed by John.
"I hate that elevator," said John.
"Yeah, me too," responded OJake.
The elevator doors squeeled to a close.
"Anyone got a big can WD40?" asked Aragon[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Who is Aragon?" asked Aragorn.
"Aragon is a loser suiter in "Merchant of Venice" replied Frodo.
"If you are going to call me a loser, I shall be off" said Aragon, and he left.
Then, Samwise, in one of his brighter moments, said,"Didnt we just KILL these guys?"
"No, we can not die. That is our curse. Along with the trainstation" said OJake.
"It needs some trees. And vines. And beautiful tapestry" said Legolas.
Tara waved her hand, and it was done.
"Tara, I thought you said you were agaist "frivilous magic" said Willow.
"Well, it was really depressing, which is bad to health" replied Tara.

((grr, I think I may have to wait a while till I have this on a site or at ff.net, I'm really Really REALLY busy with college right now! ))[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The elevator ground to a halt. The yellowing lights flickered once, then died completely. They were plunged into darkness.

In the silence that followed, Aragorn was heard saying, "I have a bad feeling about this..."[/colorost_uid0]