Group Adaptive Story - Like the onebyone story, only stranger.

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Hey, Xander, you're finally with Willow! Good for you" said Angel. Buffy reappeared from shooting Scooby Doo 2 and ignored Angel, instead dragging Spike from behind him.
"Spikey ikey mikey, I wuv yoo sho muchy wuchy" said Buffy.
Everyone rolled their eyes.
Jake 5 ran over to Angel. "hey, body ol' pal, how yah doing?" Angel said. Everyone was confused. Xander and Willow continued to snuggle, and Jake 3 got some candy, J2 got some pop and chips, and J8 turned on some 'tunes. Opium slapped Taya17 by making her cry over losing Quark Snyder. Taya17 cried and cried a river over losing Quark Snyder, and she even tried to kill Anya, who of course cant really die in this AU cus she's a venengce demon.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Well, it's alright," she finally muttered. "Since I can't kill Anya, I'll just turn on the next best target, namely the person who has been defaming my character by trying to hook me up with a creature of the greatest disrepute."

With that, 17 pulled out a large Minbari baguette and started THWAPPING Opium soundly on the head.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]What Taya17 didnt realize, however, was that she was thwapping the holographic Opium. But Opium understood, and stopped making Taya17 be in love with Quark Snyder.
Meanwhile, the party was going great. Willow and Xander announced their engagement,which made Anya jealous, so she a QS announced their engagement too. J5 and Angel also announced THEIR engagement. Everyone was getting very wierded out.
And then, suddenly, a gleaming light appeared, and Tara stepped out from it...[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]... and she gave Opium a big hug for being such a kind and understanding soul.

"Now," Tara said, "you must be wondering why everybody is feeling so weirded out. The explanation is simple. There is a single culprit behind this entire sorry affair, who is none other than..."[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Original Jake and an acomplace" said Tara.
Opium apoligized for her bad spelling and her Quark Snyder/Taya17 fling.
Everyone ignored Opium, as they were too engrossed with Tara's revelation.
Finally, Original Jake spoke.
"Well, what did you expect? 7 years of goodness, even Crusher got to go evil a few times. I needed to be evil. So I started writing all this, in May. And then I realized there were all these forumgoers and all these characters, and I latched on. And so I started righting wrongs, making techobabble make sense, making shippers happy-all the things sci-fi considers evil." said Jake."And my acomplice is..."[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"... none other than John Sheridan!"

Muffled groans were heard from the audience.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came a sound from behind a hill, "Not John Sheridan! He's a demon, and unkillable. Believe me, I've tried. He's like, the ultimate evil, worse than The First."
"Shut up Angel," said Buffy, "I think he's cute."
"Hey!" said Spike.
"Not as cute as Spikey here though," Buffy quickly put in, throwing Spike on the ground and jumping on top of him.
Angel watched with a sad face. "He's not as evil as B/S though."[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Angel started to cry, so J5 came over and talked to him. Xander and Willow smiled and hugged, as Spike and Buffy went to another room to, uh,mingle closely.
Suddenly Tara and AUEzri remembered the REAL problem: John Sheridan and OJake's plan.
"Everyone, stop!" Tara sternly said, "Remember, there is a serious problem. Remember, some of our fellow Sci-Fi-ers disappeared from lack of mentioning them, died, and worst of all, put with Quark Snyder. This MUST be stopped, somehow..." Tara was interupted by OJake.
"No, it was no JS and I who did those things, we just wrote it to bring you all here. We must find...The Real Killers!" said OJake.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"That's ridiculous," said John Sheridan. "Of course it was I who did all these things. I am evil, I tell you! EVIL!"
"No, you're not," said Opium, "You're just insane. I believe Original Jake."[/colorost_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000ost_uid0](not part of story)

So when will this story be put together on a site of it's own? huh? huh?[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Soon [/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"And I believe OJake too, when he speaks of the Real Killers" said Tara.
"And so do I" said Willow and Xander at the same time.
"Well, I think these Real Killers have a lot of explaining to do, as they would be wonderful marketing gimics" said Quark Snyder. Anya swooned.
"Okay, okay, OKAY, so I'm just little old John Sheridan, hoping somone will pay attention to me. See, I thrive on attention. I die without it." said John Sheridan.
"Um...okay...yah" said Angel.
"But really, who ARE the killers?" asked Xander.
"Perhaps we must use magic to find out..." said a smiling OJake.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]((this isnt part of the story...but hehe, I *could* post this at fanfiction.net...that would be funny...and maybe we would get enough flames to roast marshmellows)) ((anyone object? 8| ))[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Abracadabraalakazam!" yelled John Sheridan at the top of his voice.
There was a sudden flash of light, and suddenly all seventeen Jakes had been turned into nervous pink bunnies with twitching ears.
"Look at what you've done!" shrieked Anya in dismay.
"Whoops," said Sheridan, "I think I waved my wand the wrong way. Damned thing is acting--up--again--"
"You know, guys, I don't think that's all he's done," said Angel slowly, as a dark shadow fell ominously upon the scene.....


[you want to post this on ffnet?! what are you, crazy? oh, right then. shoot away!][/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The dark shadow was of a giant Taya. John had enlarged her by an enormous amount. John smiled as he looked at his creation. Taya picked John up with her huge hand and played with him like a doll. All the other guys just stared at her boobs, and wondered if they could get up to them. They mixed up a big batch of sleeping potion and put it in a drink for Taya, which she drank. After awhile, she fell asleep and all the guys climbed aboard for some fun. However, the potion was not enough and she began to wake up.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"GET OFF, YOU PERVERTS!" she yelled, flicking all the guys onto the grass like so many ants. Furious, she put all of them in a giant glass cup and set them adrift in the Baltic ocean.

"Help us!" howled the men piteously. "We're sorry! Forgive us!"[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Tara, AUEzri, Willow and Xander walked in on the scene. "What the...NO JAKES's? The story will disolve into a horrible mess" said Tara.
"Uh...I think it already has" said Xander. Conjuring up some five-way magic (Anya wanted the bunnies GONE no matter what), they brought back the 17 Jakes.
"Okay, so maybe John Sheridan IS the real killer" said OJake.
"But is it the REAL John?" asked Buffy.Tara, AUEzri, Willow, Xander and Anya did another five-way.
"Well, in a word, yes," said Willow. Everyone was shocked.
"John, that's five weeks detention and four bars goldpressedlatnum" said Quark Snyder, as everyone groaned at the worn-out joke except Anya.Who was worse:John or QS?[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]A dark, ominous cloud fell upon the scene. "NEITHER," boomed a voice from the heavens. "THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT IS..."[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Legolas Turner!" finished the voice, who turned out to be Picard hiding behind a cloaked force field.
"WHAT?" said everyone, clearly confused.
"Yes, Legolas Turner. LOTR and POTC are two hot movies, and Orlando Bloom is in both of them. And he makes Legolas Turner, the most non-threating, nice, kind, caring guy ever."
The girls all nodded and swooned. The guys all looked annoyed and grumbled.
"With all the fangirls and fanguys and fanforumgoers,"continued Picard," Legolas Turner, and his friends Frodo, Samwise, and Jack Sparrow, are threatening-by being so nonthreating-to accidentally take over fanfic!"[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Do any of them have Kippers of Thwapping?" PHJ wanted to know.

"Well, no," admitted Picard, "though I suspect that Jack Sparrow has a Scone of Smashing. He won't admit to it, though."

"Then that's all right," said PHJ, who went back to plotting against Microsoft.[/colorost_uid0]