Announcement

[Zeke]

I don't think I'm giving too much away if I announce that the Fiver By Committee will finally, FINALLY be published in this year's anniversary event. It was supposed to be in last year's, but the whole event was moved to this year for reasons of suckage.

Since that's still not for a while, I'm considering starting FBC2 early. It's high time we got another one going. We'll need a movie with enough popular appeal that everyone who wants to participate has seen it, or easily can. Any suggestions?

[PointyHairedJedi]

Why not aim for something big? I say we go for Blade Runner, or even 2001.

[ijdgaf]

Yeah, it needs to be something big enough that a vast majority of the forumgoers here are familiar with it.

How about Raiders of the Lost Ark? Or Jurassic Park?

I'd suggest Matrix: Reloaded, but it's not nearly as memorable and I'm sure everyone would love a chance to work with different characters.

[Zeke]

Yeah, not Reloaded. One FBC per franchise is plenty. 2001 and Jurassic Park are good examples of the sort of thing we're looking for; another would be, say, Terminator.

Once we have enough suggestions, I'll arrange a poll of the checklist variety, and we'll see what gets the most votes. (It's hard to narrow it down to one choice; best if people can just check off the ones they're familiar with.)

[AKAArzosah]

I may own Blade Runner, but I've never seen it.

Okay, suggestions: The Fifth Element, Armageddon, Independence Day, ET, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jaws.

Is there a Serenity Fiver anywhere?

[Zeke]

Sorry, Serenity is mine (and if it weren't, it would go to Jade or Derek -- whoever won the fight to the death). Those other ideas are good, though.

[AKAArzosah]

I figured that if there wasn't a Serenity fiver already then it was in the works.

Why do I feel like I've already read a Fifth Element Fiver? I couldn't see one on 5M.net, but has someone else somewhere on the net done one?

[Zeke]

Not on the net. I do have a submission for it (likewise intended for last year's event), but you could only have heard about that from the author or me, and I know I didn't blab.

I'm pretty sure that's the only other suggestion that's already spoken for, by the way. Not many movies are called, since only staffers can usually do so; if any more pop up, I'll try to flag them quickly.

[Nate the Great]

Hmm....a movie that a lot of people have seen...

Nothing's coming to mind except a request to NOT do a hardcore, niche movie this time.

[AKAArzosah]

My request is not to do ET (even though I suggested it) because I hate that movie. Why do people think the wrinkly little brownish alien is cute? WHY?

I like the Jurassic Park idea, myself.

[Zeke]

Nate, when you're in the minority on something, you don't have to like it, but it's no good denying it. In no way is The Matrix a "hardcore, niche movie."

[Gatac]

I'd like to vote for Terminator II.

Gatac

[Nate the Great]

What, minorities can't make requests? Pleas? Anguished screams?

I don't think ET is cute. Not at all.

I guess Jurassic Park is okay, even though it's been well over ten years since I've seen it.

My whole purpose behind the "please no hardcore" thing is that I don't like hardcore scifi and I wanted to actually play a role in this one. Sue a guy for wanting to contribute.

How about Indiana Jones?

[Chancellor Valium]

Uh...Dr. Strangelove?

[PointyHairedJedi]

^ Don't even joke about that.

TFE is mine, and hopefully it will see the light of say sometime reasonably soon. If it's published before Tron is however, I may have to track down Zeke and do bad things to him. I'm talking things that would make Barney the Dinosaur cringe, here.

I like the suggestions of Independance Day and Terminator, though I'm somewhat baffled at the description of The Matrix as hard SF.

[Zeke]

Nate, I had no objection to your point itself. It's well taken. I just don't see how it applies to The Matrix, which, for better or worse, was the most popular and successful sf movie in years. It made sci-fi hip for a while, the way Star Wars once did. That doesn't make it a good movie, but it made it a good choice for FBC. You were just an unfortunate exception -- there'll be one or two no matter what we pick.

TFE is mine

SHHH! PHJ will be so mad if you spoil people about that!

[ijdgaf]

Jaws has been called by me. But really, I've only written one scene and I'm not sure I want to keep it or not.

[Celeste]

I second Jurrasic Park or Indiana Jones. :)

[Nate the Great]

Where did I say Matrix is bad? I don't want to watch it, ever, but that doesn't necessarily imply "bad", just "it's not my style."

What's TFE?

[AKAArzosah]

You didn't actually say the Matrix was bad, just heavily implied it.

TFE: The Fifth Element


ijdgaf why don't we think about doing Jaws then, with your one scene set in stone? Or better yet, with your one scene highlighted with blinking text and a border and your name in neon lights, just to annoy everyone else.

[ijdgaf]

You've got my vote!

[Nate the Great]

Not to be a cynic, but isn't the plot of Jaws rather simplistic?

Jaws: Argh!
Everyone: Gak!

The End

:)

[ijdgaf]

For the hell of it:

Shark: Da Na. Da Na. DaNa DaNa Da Na DA NA DA NA
Seawood: Do you mind?
Shark: Sorry. Got a tone to set.

[Nate the Great]

Who or what is Seawood?

I always thought it was "Daaa dum, daaa dum, da dum da dum..."

[AKAArzosah]

The next big forum war: 'No it's da dum!' NO IT'S DAAA DUM!' 'NOOOOO! It's...' etc.

Is Seawood the boat? (We're gonna need a bigger boat...)
It's been ages since I've seen Jaws. And I don't have it on video, damn! I'll have to hire it.

[PointyHairedJedi]

SHHH! PHJ will be so mad if you spoil people about that!
He's on holiday at the moment. Yes, on holiday to the bottom of the loch.

What can we say? He just got on our nerves one too many times.

[AKAArzosah]

You are a strange person.

[AKAArzosah]

No, not person. People? Thing? Things? Miscellanea?

I think that fits. You are a strange miscellanea.

[PointyHairedJedi]

The MPD is less pronounced than it used to be. We mostly work together now, you see.

(Now I just have to wait for my cue to say, "You will be.")

EDIT: When I say mostly, I should mention that PJH (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v136/PointyHairedJedi/misc/photos/1206/p1030960pjh.jpg) is off doing his own thing. No-one has any idea what, so when we find out it will be an interesting day for us all.

[AKAArzosah]

The truck's just a decoy. The real PHJ is in that freaky little purple midget car in the background, right?

[Chancellor Valium]

No, the real PHJ is running the Bank of Africa in Burkina Faso.

[PointyHairedJedi]

This one knows too much for his own good....

[Chancellor Valium]

^There's too much confusion here.

[Zeke]

I can't get no relief.

...Oh crap, we're [SPOILER REMOVED]!

[Chancellor Valium]

Thief!

[Nate the Great]

Shall we return to the "what shall we five next" debate?

[AKAArzosah]

How about the popular fictional work 'PHJ: The Real Story'?

See, it is too on topic!

[ijdgaf]

Um... typo. Meant "Seaweed".

But whatever, I don't think Jaws is the best choice. The movie came out before most of us were born, and it probably doesn't have the widespread popularity around here that (a) I'd like, and (b) would be required of a FBC target.

Jurassic Park and Raiders of the Lost Ark fit those criteria a bit better, I would think -- and they've been seconded by other posters.

[Starpaul20]

I'll suggest either Jurassic Park or Independence Day, as they're both movies I'm quite familer with. :)

[ijdgaf]

We could always do a Bond movie. Goldfinger? The Spy Who Loved Me? Casino Royale? I'd say those are the three most on the public conscious at this point in time.

[Nate the Great]

If we're gonna start on James Bond, I'd start at Dr. No and work up the list of official movies.

I'm also a firm believer that all three Indiana Jones movie fivers should have a unified "fivisterial vision," if I can coin a phrase. If the committee fives one, we should do all three.

[Chancellor Valium]

^The problem there is working in the yes/maybe/NO jokes...

[Nate the Great]

There's a can of worms I'm gonna keep locked in the safe until I have to deal with it...

[Chancellor Valium]

Also, it would be good to do so me Doctor Who episode title refs, in reciprocation...

[MaverickZer0]

Independence Day!

Because the movie is awesome and think of the Area 51 jokes.

[Nate the Great]

You should read Dave Barry's parodization of Independence Day. "The aliens, like every other lifeform in the universe, is forced to use the Windows operating system. In fact, the whole reason they have come to Earth is to destroy Bill Gates." Well, something like that, it's not an EXACT quote...

[Zeke]

I really like the Independence Day idea. It's a modern classic -- I have vivid memories of seeing it at the drive-in when I was 13. (There was a thunderstorm that night, and at the very moment the aliens opened fire, lightning struck. Talk about atmosphere!) It's also a perfect fiver target, what with tons of physics errors, Brent Spiner guest starring, and general silliness like the president leading a fighter squadron personally.

[ijdgaf]

Don't forget the dying leader, First Lady Roslin.

[Nate the Great]

I suppose my childish temper-tantrum of "but I want to have seen the movie this time!" belongs here.

[AKAArzosah]

Well go hire/buy it, quickly! If you've never seen it, it's totally worth it.

[Nate the Great]

Hire it? But I haven't even seen its resume yet! :)

Yeah, yeah, I know. Go to a movie rental place...

[Gatac]

Ooh, Independance Day! Totally up for that one. Let's do it!

Gatac

[Nate the Great]

Any reason why we can't have two concurrent comittee fivers?

We could even call them cocomvers. :)

[PointyHairedJedi]

Zeke's a busy fellow. I think that's reason enough.

[Nate the Great]

So Zeke annoints one of the other section heads to be moderator of the second fiver committee. No big whoop.

[ijdgaf]

Is this suggestion merely because you want us to do a FBC of a movie that you've actually seen?

I understand, to an extent, your opposition to spending a certain amount of money on a new video game console. The cost of such things isn't quite trivial.

But seriously. It costs five bucks to rent a movie. If you feel left out on this one, there's a cheap and easy way to remedy that. Since Independence Day (if that's indeed the movie we'll be doing) is a movie seen by a very significant percentage of forumgoers here, it's a good choice for FBC. It's out on VHS and DVD as well, so those who haven't seen it can easily play catch-up. I'd rather do Raiders or Jurassic Park, personally. But it's a pretty good choice in terms of cultural awareness, I must say.

[Nate the Great]

Yeah, but renting a movie automatically adds a time limit to how long you can draw material from it, and it's nice to have the source material handy. Well, actually, I could watch it once then work off of a transcript from the Internet, but...but...

Erm, I don't wanna? I'm incredibly whiny and stubborn? I don't want to get a movie rental membership (and the associated junk mail/telemarketing bait)for something this trivial?

[Hejira]

Well, actually, I could watch it once then work off of a transcript from the Internet, but...but...You could watch it as many times as possible, return it, then work off the transcript so it plays in your head or something.

Erm, I don't wanna? I'm incredibly whiny and stubborn? I don't want to get a movie rental membership (and the associated junk mail/telemarketing bait)for something this trivial?Looking through this thread, there's heaps of movies suggested that I haven't seen and probably never will. There's no one thing that everyone has seen, so some people are going to miss out regardless of the movie chosen.

[Nate the Great]

So I suppose the only thing to do is encourage a decision, encourage the fiving thereof (presumably as the cocomvers pass by we'll be able to do each one faster than the last), and wait to pounce when the right movie comes along.

[AKAArzosah]

Just because you don't know the movie doesn't mean you can't contribute to the humour.

How are you not already a member of a video store? How have you survived this long?

[ijdgaf]

I assume a similar format to the last FBC will be used, where Zeke will post a transcript of the scene to jog everyone's memories and to have something to work off. I never popped in my copy of "The Matrix" while contributing -- the transcript was more than enough.

Also: Blockbuster has yet to send me any superfluous crap in the mail. Just fyi.

[AKAArzosah]

There's a little box to tick on the application form if you don't want stuff, usually.

[Gatac]

A "DVD Rental via Mail" membership is, in my humble opinion, a great investment. And unlike many other drugs, it's legal. :)

Gatac

[Nate the Great]

How do I not have a movie rental membership yet? Well, putting aside the spam/junk mail/telemarketing issue (we really need an all-encompasing term for this, "mass marketing?"), I suppose that it's too big of a temptation. I'd rather save up for cable and TiVo.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Can't you rent it from a library then? Or do US libraries not do that?

[catalina_marina]

A "DVD Rental via Mail" membership is, in my humble opinion, a great investment. And unlike many other drugs, it's legal. :)

Gatac

In Germany maybe.

The drugs, that is. ;)

I'm in favour of Independance Day. Mostly because I haven't seen most of the other movies suggested.

Also, hi.

[Zeke]

It's Cat! I thought she was a goner (http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/item/books-978159643030).

[mudshark]

*waves to cat* http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g223/mudshark58/smilies/Wave20Hello.gif

Can't you rent it from a library then? Or do US libraries not do that?
They do; in many library systems, it's free. Nate's just being... Nate.

[Zeke]

It comes nateurally to him.

Seriously though, I'm torn here. On the one hand, Independence Day would be an excellent choice. On the other hand, I gotta say I sympathize with Nate's situation. If he didn't get to participate last time -- all four years of last time -- it's perfectly fair for him to bring that up. So let's put Independence Day to one side for now. It may well be what I go with, but for now let's discuss the alternatives.

[Gatac]

Star Wars? By which I mean, A New Hope, i.e. the original one.

I'd bet even Nate has seen that one.

Gatac

[Nate the Great]

I do rent movies at the library, VHS and DVD, too many of them in fact, but you can only find kiddie movies and classics that have artistic and historical value there, i.e. the Astaire/Rogers musicals that I love so much.

We haven't fived A New Hope yet?

Thanks for the sympathy. I admit that part of my reaction is sheer whininess, but the other part is a strong desire to participate.

[Nate the Great]

Oh, and Nateness is now an accepted adjective around here? Might have to add that to the glossary. :)

[PointyHairedJedi]

It's Cat! I thought she was a goner (http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/item/books-978159643030).
She's quantum now, so you can't be sure either way.

[ijdgaf]

We've already suggested a number of good alternatives. Why not just make a poll with the viable ones and see which one the group prefers the most?

[Zeke]

Yeah, I'll do that when I have a minute.

[Nate the Great]

So we'll see you next month? :)

Sorry, it had to be done.

[Tate]

I do rent movies at the library, VHS and DVD, too many of them in fact, but you can only find kiddie movies and classics that have artistic and historical value there, i.e. the Astaire/Rogers musicals that I love so much.

We haven't fived A New Hope yet?



My library used to be the same way, but it added a lot of movies to its collection when it moved to a new building a few months ago. Still it doesn't have as big a collection as a video store, so it would be difficult to get a movie like Independence Day.

Oh, and there is a fiver for <a href="http://www.fiveminute.net/starwars/starwars.html">A New Hope</a> . Episodes One and Two haven't been fived yet, though. I wouldn't mind fiving one of them, if anyone else is interested. Maybe they're not as good as the other Star Wars movies, but that just means there's more to make fun of, meaning that they're better targets for fiving. Right?

[Nate the Great]

Fiving Episodes One and Two? I've wondered why those haven't been done yet.

Who's up for umpteen "The Saga Begins" references?

[ijdgaf]

As I recall, I gots II and Zeke gots I.

One of many things that has yet to materialize due to mutual procrastination.

I mean.. uh.. marketing. Yeah. Waiting for the right time to release new material into an oversaturated marketplace.

[Nate the Great]

How long have you "gots"en it?

I suppose we should turn the discussion in another direction then.

[AKAArzosah]

How about in the direction of the original topic? Are there any further suggestions for movies? Nate, maybe you have some of your own? (suggestions, not movies) Ooh, let's five Sa'ar's ad! Of course, that would make it longer...
What was I talking about? Right, suggestions... Well, are there any further? And we need a list of the ones we have so far.

[Nate the Great]

Well, I'd like

Batman Begins
Raiders of the Lost Ark and so on
National Treasure
Almost any Marvel Movie

Suggestions that aren't movies? How about "careful when wet?" :)

Looking back on my earlier James Bond suggestion, I suppose that there are too many for comver purposes. Bond would be it's own section.

[Chancellor Valium]

Not a Sci-Fi film, but what about either:

A) The Big Sleep
or
B) The Maltese Falcon

?

[ijdgaf]

A few other pop cultural touchstones:

E.T.
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
The Godfather
The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

[Nate the Great]

LWW wouldn't be that bad, but doesn't that sneak a bit too far away from our scifi credo? In fact, it occurs to me that you could create a pie chart for a movie composed of portions of scifi, fantasy, horror, action, etc.

I separate scifi from fantasy thusly:

If any inventions, actions, or feats are presented that are beyond our current understanding are presented as though they are simple extensions of our current scientific knowledge and inventions, it's scifi.

If any inventions, actions, or feats are presented that are beyond our current understanding are presented as though they tap into some energy that is intrinsic to nature (i.e. the "natural laws" of the universe include the possiblility of such feats), it's fantasy.

Thus Back to the Future is scifi. The LWW is fantasy. Star Wars is scifi. Willow is fantasy.

[Zeke]

My reason for not considering LW&W is simpler: I don't trust the mob with C. S. Lewis. But I like IJD's other suggestions. I knew there were some obvious ones we were missing. (Not The Godfather, though. Let's keep it sci-fi for now.)

[Nate the Great]

Please no ET. If idgaf wants it, let him five it himself and stick it into Five-Minute Cheese.

[ijdgaf]

I'm just trying to think of big movies that most everyone has seen (and if they haven't, they're uncultured heathens). Not necessarily films I like, just films that have wide recognition.

[Nate the Great]

Oh.

Could someone stick the "uncultured heathen" arguement back into Pandora's Box and add another padlock, please?

[AKAArzosah]

I think it was a joke. In fact, given the website this forum is for, I'm pretty sure it was a joke. Don't take things so personally.

Godfather is a bit before my time and not science fiction. ET and probably also Close Encounters were already suggested by MY MUM (seriously). The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe? HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NO I WILL STAB YOU.

If I seem nasty or annoyed or particularly short with anyone, well I'm tired. I have to run a post office on my own for a day on Thursday and I'm really not looking forward to it. Australia Post sucks, y'all. Just so you know.

[PointyHairedJedi]

On a completely random tack, why not go for one of the many films that is now in the public domain? Quite a few are corny B-movie stuff, I admit, but there are some real gems out there.

[Chancellor Valium]

...Plan 9 From Outer Space?

[Nate the Great]

Uh, I'd rather not. We're supposed to spoof quality scifi here, not Santa Claus Invades the Martians.

Some of the online actions I've regretted the most came from posting while annoyed or short. My advice? Unplug the computer. Go out and enjoy some time in meatspace/offline/RL whatever you want to call it. Smell some flowers. Personally I like to go hiking in the woods.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Uh, I'd rather not. We're supposed to spoof quality scifi here, not Santa Claus Invades the Martians.
It's out there, if you care to look. I've got Things to Come sitting on my computer waiting to be watched, for instance.

[Nate the Great]

What's out there? Santa Claus invades the Martians, or quality scifi?

(Bah-dum-bum-chissh)

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal!

[ijdgaf]

...Come to think of it, I bet a sizable proportion of us is familiar with "This Island Earth". And not because we've all seen it in its original format. I certainly haven't.

[Nate the Great]

Sorry, never heard of it.

[ijdgaf]

Uncultured Heathen! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000:_The_Movie)

[mudshark]

Uh, I'd rather not. We're supposed to spoof quality scifi here, not Santa Claus Invades the Martians.
Whose definition of "quality sci-fi" shall we use? (And the correct title is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, thankyewverymuch.)

Some of the online actions I've regretted the most came from posting while annoyed or short. My advice? Unplug the computer. Go out and enjoy some time in meatspace/offline/RL whatever you want to call it. Smell some flowers. Personally I like to go hiking in the woods.
I'm sure you do.

[Nate the Great]

I suppose "Invades" is pretty good for a random neuron misfire. Come on, I only knew it existed because of MST!

Quality science fiction means that fictional technology is used to amplify the meaning of the plot.

[PointyHairedJedi]

That's a rather narrow definition. I can think of several acknowleged classics just off the top of my head that aren't covered by that.

(Dune, A Clockwork Orange, Stand on Zanzibar, The Shape of Things to Come and The Stars My Destination, in case you're wondering).

[catalina_marina]

It's Cat! I thought she was a goner (http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/item/books-978159643030).

I'll always come back, Zeke.

She's quantum now, so you can't be sure either way.

Unless you observe me.

[Chancellor Valium]

I suppose "Invades" is pretty good for a random neuron misfire. Come on, I only knew it existed because of MST!

Quality science fiction means that fictional technology is used to amplify the meaning of the plot.

Sadly, that disqualifies most good sci-fi :)

[Nate the Great]

You consider Clockwork Orange to be scifi?

[Chancellor Valium]

You consider Clockwork Orange to be scifi?

No, I consider it screwed-up :)

on-topic: I don't remember anyone mentioning the godfather of all sci-fi films, though...

The Time Machine

?

[Nate the Great]

Nay.

[Gatac]

*In the vein of Chris's Invincible Super-Blog*

I SAY THEE NAY!

Gatac

[Zeke]

Dammit, Thor! (http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20070312.html) You know real English.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Has every thread now just become a link thread?

Unless you observe me.
I thought I did, once, but you managed to make me not sure even about that.

[AKAArzosah]

Ooh, The Time Machine! Can we add that to the list as a possibility?

Can I vote for more than one thing?

[ijdgaf]

It occurs to me that the first Harry Potter might be worth considering too.

But really, can we have a poll already? I think we've got enough options floating around.

[Nate the Great]

Not that Harry Potter isn't good, but it's fantasy. One hundred percent fantasy. We do scifi here. Or at least stuff that is any percentage scifi.

[Zeke]

But really, can we have a poll already?

SO HELP ME I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND

[PointyHairedJedi]

What what sort of car would Zeke drive anyhow? My first thought was a Yugo, but I think a Trabant would somehow suit him better.

[Derek]

SO HELP ME I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND

Zeke, watch the road! You're going to drive into that poll!

Or possibly "(FOOOOOM)". Haven't decided yet.

[Zeke]

I drive a K-Car. It's a nice Reliant automobile. (I call it Miranda.)

[danieldoof]

What what sort of car would Zeke drive anyhow? My first thought was a Yugo, but I think a Trabant would somehow suit him better.

TRABANT MUAHAHHAHA erm...yeah our legacy to the world :D

[Nate the Great]

You a Barenaked Ladies fan, Zeke?

[ijdgaf]

Two Lord of the Rings fivers and a fair number of OC fivers beg to differ with this whole strictly sci-fi attitude. I would argue that Star Wars is 100% fantasy as well. In any case, Harry Potter is far from off-limits. I know the idea has been bounced around at least once.

So poll-wise... are we there yet?

[Zeke]

Lay off for the moment, IJD. I gave a talk today, I have an exam Saturday, and I have assignments way overdue. This will be over soon, but it isn't now.

You a Barenaked Ladies fan, Zeke?

<a href="../thisjustin/7.html">Ya think?</a>

[ijdgaf]

S'alright, not really badgering. Just trying ineptly to uncleverly extend your previous metaphor.

Got a problem with that? We'll take it to Metaphree-for-all.

[Nate the Great]

It's always fun to meet other BnL fans.

Star Wars is hardly 100% fantasy. It's not 100% scifi either, but there are things like hyperdrive and light sabres that are theoretically mere extensions of current technology. I call that stuff scifi. For that matter, by introducing the idea of midicholorians, they're increasing the scifi quotient.

[mudshark]

Star Wars is hardly 100% fantasy.
Of course not. It's a fair part Space Western, as well.

[Nate the Great]

Is anybody else feeling like a person being sucked down a whirlpool the way this discussion is going?

[Zeke]

I feel like a person being eaten by a giant six-headed mermaid thing. Does that count?

[Chancellor Valium]

Would the nay-sayers like to elaborate on why they are so negative?

:p

[Zeke]

And I suppose you'd feel positive while a six-headed mermaid thing was eating you?

[Nate the Great]

We're being negative because the thread is meandering with nothing keeping it on track.

[catalina_marina]

I see that nothing has changed in the time I was away. :D

[Zeke]

We're being negative because the thread is meandering with nothing keeping it on track.

Speak for yourself. My complete lack of objection to threads going off topic is on record.

[MaverickZer0]

I fail to see how threads going off-topic is a negative thing. We'd never get anywhere around here if we stayed on-topic. Or rather, we'd never get nowhere, which I'm sure is precisely where everyone wants to be.

[ijdgaf]

The only problem is when it happens during super-last-minute "oh crap, we really need to come up with a good theme week this year" discussions amongst the staff.

[Nate the Great]

Since when are we getting anywhere? :)

[MaverickZer0]

We're not getting anywhere. We're trying to get nowhere. That's why the threads go everywhere. We don't want to get anywhere, since there is no point to being 'anywhere' since just as soon as someone gets 'anywhere' they generally want to be 'anywhere else.' So I figured it might just be best to skip the anywheres, anywhere elses, and anywhere but heres, and just get nowhere. After all, 'nowhere' and 'nowhere else' are the same thing, aren't they?

[Nate the Great]

You're starting to sound like the Whether Man.

[catalina_marina]

After all, 'nowhere' and 'nowhere else' are the same thing, aren't they?

Strictly speaking, 'nowhere' implies 'nowhere else', but not the other way. 'nowhere else' may be 'nowhere' but it may also be 'here'. Or where-ever 'nowhere else' is not.

[MaverickZer0]

In general though, I think we can all agree we're going nowhere. Which is good, as I believe it was established that's where we intend on going. Does anybody know when we'll get there? It should be in no time at all. I expect that's how long it would take to get nowhere. Of course, no time at all can mean both 'instantly' and 'infinitely', so to be safe, let's assume the shorter of the two and we'll already have arrived.

Do I? I haven't even read Phantom Tollbooth recently.

[ijdgaf]

My God, is that book ever a masterpiece.

[Nate the Great]

Ditto. Awesome book.

Milo: I never knew that words could be so confusing.
Tock: Only when you use a lot to say a little.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I still have my copy of that. It's not actually with me, sadly. :(

[Nate the Great]

Oh? I'm sorry I missed the funeral. I feel your pain. :)

I paid less than two dollars for mine. I'd gladly do it again if I found myself in a strange town, separated from my beloved book collection, and needing my biannual Juster fix.