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Zeke
03-18-2003, 08:11 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Or CFB. FBC, CFB. Think about it. (And when you're done thinking about it, think about the Borg Constructive Force (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/features/darknessvisible.html) and the Free Borg Complex (http://3sygma.com/fiveminute/features/whirligig.html)....)[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
03-18-2003, 08:15 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 1

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] There are Agents following you.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] What should I do?
[b:post_uid0]Operator:[/b:post_uid0] If you would like to remain on the line, please deposit 75 cents.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] What the heck kind of advice is that? (roots through her pockets) Let's see... ten, twenty, forty-five....
[b:post_uid0]Phone:[/b:post_uid0] Click.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Dang.

[b:post_uid0]Cops:[/b:post_uid0] Keep your hands where I can see them, lady! When we say "Jump", you say "How high?"
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] (jumps) How high?
[b:post_uid0]Cops:[/b:post_uid0] Freeze!
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] I can do that too.

[b:post_uid0]Agent Brown:[/b:post_uid0] She's gone.
[b:post_uid0]Agent Smith:[/b:post_uid0] Meh. Should we pull Keanu Reeves off the set of [i:post_uid0]Speed 2[/i:post_uid0]?
[b:post_uid0]Agent Jones:[/b:post_uid0] We're way ahead of you.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
03-18-2003, 08:15 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 2

[b:post_uid0]Computer:[/b:post_uid0] Knock, knock, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Who's there?
[b:post_uid0]Computer:[/b:post_uid0] Follow the white rabbit.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Follow the white rabbit who?
[b:post_uid0]Computer:[/b:post_uid0] You. You follow the white rabbit. The Matrix has you.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I don't get it.
[b:post_uid0]Computer:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, just answer the door, moron.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
03-18-2003, 08:17 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 3

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, I'm Trinity.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] [i:post_uid0]The[/i:post_uid0] Trinity? The one that made the universe? Dude, I always thought you were guys.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Most fundamentalists do. I know you have a question. You want to know --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Follow the white rabbit who?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] The matrix, Neo! Ask about the matrix!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ohh, ha ha! Now I get it. Good one! Wait, how did you know my name?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] It's an identity matrix.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
03-18-2003, 08:18 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 4

[b:post_uid0]Rhineheart:[/b:post_uid0] Anderson, you suck. God, you suck. You'd think you were neo here or something you suck so bad.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] You mean "new here"?
[b:post_uid0]Rhineheart:[/b:post_uid0] That's what I said. You're the only one I have problems with around here, Anderson. The only one!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Pfft. I'm the one? As if.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
03-18-2003, 08:19 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 5

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] If you do exactly as I say, you'll be fine. Morpheus says to run down to the corner office.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Did it.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Good. Now, Morpheus says to open the window.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Did it.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Good. Now climb to the top of the building.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] You didn't say "Morpheus says."[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
03-18-2003, 08:22 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 6

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I refuse to tell you anything. I want my phone call.
[b:post_uid0]Smith:[/b:post_uid0] Well, you can't have it, some idiot hacker named Neo took down the 10-10-220 network. Now tell us where we can find Morpheus.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] My lips are sealed.
[b:post_uid0]Smith:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, they are.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, you guys are bugging me. I want myuph. Mmph!
[b:post_uid0]Brown:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, we are.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
04-05-2003, 12:33 AM
Block 7

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] (over the phone) Let's try another round. Morpheus says to go to the shadowy bridge.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, how do you know my phone isn't tapped?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Why don't I stress your vital importance and find out?

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] You've been down that road before, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Have I? Where am I?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Sigh. Corner of Maple and Fifth.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh. Then yeah, I have been down that road before.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] And it's been a long road, getting from there to here. Now hold still.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are you going to test my faith of the heart?
(Schkoop)
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] OW! Hey, now you guys are bugging me.
[b:post_uid0]Switch:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, it's more like debugging.

Zeke
04-11-2003, 04:11 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 8

[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question that is eating away at you, and now you can ask that question.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet! Then you can tell me where I can get shades like that?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I'm going to pretend I heard "What is the Matrix?"

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] It's quite simple. If you eat a blue M&M, you'll wake up tomorrow with the mother of all hangovers. Or, you can eat a green M&M and --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What about that red M&M?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Nononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Why not?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The red ones are my favourite.

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ooooh... cool... the mirror's gone all funky....
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, the pill is starting to have its effect.
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Actually, he's like this all the time.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Mmmm... shiny....

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I am Neo of Borg. Resistance is futile.
[b:post_uid0]Robot:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, like that's the first time I've heard that. Hold still while I unplug you.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I will be dissimilated.
([i:post_uid0]FLUSH[/i:post_uid0])
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
04-27-2003, 07:31 PM
Block 9

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Wha--? Where am I?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The question isn't "where?", Neo. It's--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] "Follow the white rabbit who?"
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Shut up, Neo. The appropriate question is, "When?".
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh. When?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I can't tell you. Temporal Prime Directive.

Zeke
05-22-2003, 03:03 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 10

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The world as you knew it exists now only as part of a neural-interactive simulation that we call the Matrix.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Ugh, I've been playing SimCity far too long.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] We were at the height of our civilization until we created AI.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] You mean artificial intelligence?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] No, American Idol. That show singlehandedly reduced us to the state we're in now.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
06-14-2003, 04:27 AM
Block 11

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and after the first One left, the Oracle predicted there'd be another One. I believe that is you, Neo.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What makes you think I'm the One?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] I like anagrams. As I was saying, Neo, I am certain that you are the One --
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Sweet!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] -- who will bring balance to the Force.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I have a bad feeling about this....

Zeke
07-10-2003, 07:40 PM
Block 12

[b:post_uid0]Tank:[/b:post_uid0] Good morning, Neo. Time for your training -- here's what you'll be learning.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] "How to Become a Martial Arts Master in 2698 Easy Steps." That sounds pretty heavy.
[b:post_uid0]Tank:[/b:post_uid0] Don't worry, we've got a five-minute version. Training is long and life is short. Let's get started.
(First download)
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Whoa! Give me more!
[b:post_uid0]Tank:[/b:post_uid0] Oops, that was the "Woman in the Red Dress" program.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What dress?

Zeke
08-25-2003, 01:48 AM
Block 13

[b:post_uid0]Neo and Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] BAM! POW! WHACK!
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] I can't keep up with you! How do you fight so fast?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] ...and that was for [i:post_uid0]Bill and Ted[/i:post_uid0]! And this is for [i:post_uid0]Devil's Advocate[/i:post_uid0]! And this...!

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The next test is easy. All you have to remember is -- there...is...no...gravity!
(Neo takes a run up, then jumps)
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Oh holy crappppppppp...!
(distant splat)
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] And that was for [i:post_uid0]Point Blank[/i:post_uid0].

Zeke
09-29-2003, 06:58 PM
Block 14

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] The most important thing about the Matrix, Neo, is to always be on your guard and never to be distracted by, say, extremely hot women in red dresses.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey! How come she's wearing a dress this time?
(She morphs into an Agent)
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Gyaa!
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] That's why.

[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Agents are the most dangerous things here. But you don't have to worry about dealing with them, because you have the most powerful weapon in the history of this place in your arsenal.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Your old movies.

Zeke
09-30-2003, 11:13 PM
Block 15

[b:post_uid0]Tank:[/b:post_uid0] Everybody quiet - the Sentinels are looking for us!
[b:post_uid0]Sentinel:[/b:post_uid0] Knock, knock...
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Who's ther--
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, shut [i:post_uid0]up[/i:post_uid0].

Zeke
10-22-2003, 03:43 AM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 16

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, Cypher, what're you doing?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] Are you implying I'm trying to betray everyone to the Agents?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] No. What would make you think I think that?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] Oh, nothing.

[b:post_uid0]Smith:[/b:post_uid0] If you betray everyone, we'll put you back in the Matrix.
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] Make sure I'll be an actor. See if you can't put me into some summer blockbuster about the nature of reality.
[b:post_uid0]Smith:[/b:post_uid0] I'll try, but I don't think anyone would buy it.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
11-25-2003, 04:50 AM
Block 17

[b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] You know, this food isn't that bad.
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] Are you kidding? Who would eat this mush when you could have an agent buy you a steak dinner in the Matrix? Which, um, I've never done. Ever. ...So, how 'bout that Oracle?
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] ...Right. Look, it's really hard to eat this glop with a fork. Can I get a spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Sorry, Neo. There is no spoon.

Zeke
01-05-2004, 09:04 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 18

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What did the Oracle tell you?
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
[b:post_uid0]Cypher:[/b:post_uid0] She told me my role in this movie got downgraded. I'll show [i:post_uid0]her[/i:post_uid0].
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] She said that I--
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What's the deal with the spoon?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] There is no spoon.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Are there forks?
[b:post_uid0]Boy:[/b:post_uid0] Yes, Neo. The forks will be with you... always.[/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
02-09-2004, 06:46 PM
Block 19

[b:post_uid0]Oracle:[/b:post_uid0] Hi, Neo. Watch out for that vase.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Okay.
(awkward pause)
[b:post_uid0]Oracle:[/b:post_uid0] All right, just for that, you're not the One.

Zeke
02-26-2004, 06:21 PM
[color=#000000:post_uid0]Block 20

[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, isn't that the cat that was here a minute ago?
[b:post_uid0]Trinity:[/b:post_uid0] Uh-oh. The cat's taking too long to load. There's a glitch in the Matrix.
[b:post_uid0]Neo:[/b:post_uid0] What's that mea-- Hey, why'd everything turn blue?
[b:post_uid0]Matrix:[/b:post_uid0] Fatal exception at 1337-a743f07r42.pirate.Nebuchadnezzar.link?id=Morpheus. Please reboot universe. Have a nice day.

[b:post_uid0]SWAT Guy:[/b:post_uid0] Die fledermaus!
[b:post_uid0]Mouse:[/b:post_uid0] Not the opera puns...! GAK![/color:post_uid0]

Zeke
03-17-2004, 06:24 PM
Block 21

[b:post_uid0]Smith:[/b:post_uid0] Ha! Found you.
[b:post_uid0]Morpheus:[/b:post_uid0] Uh, good job. Now it's your turn to hide and we'll try to find you.
[b:post_uid0]Smith:[/b:post_uid0] It doesn't work like that.

Zeke
09-10-2004, 04:54 AM
Block 22

Cypher: Great job pulling me back, Tank. Allow me to say "thank you."
Tank: Can you say it without the gun?

Dozer: GAK!
Tank: Pseudo-GAK!
Switch: GAK!
Apoc: GAK!
Cypher: Hm, something's wrong here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Cypher: (over the phone) Trin, how can you prefer that airhead over a hot backstabbing serial killer like me?
Neo: (sigh) I get that one a lot, too.
Cypher: Y'see, Neo can't be the One unless I'm about to be killed by a convenient plot contri--GAK!
Tank: (over the gun) Fake GAK. Gets 'em every time.
Neo: Maybe I should try that sometime.

Zeke
02-23-2005, 11:09 AM
Block 23

Agent Smith: Give me the codes to Zion.
Morpheus: These aren't the codes you are looking for.
Agent Smith: These aren't the codes... HEY!
Morpheus: HA! Morpheus 1, Agent Smith 0.

Tank: We've no choice. We've got to pull the plug before the Agents break him.
Neo: But we can rescue him! For you see, I have a cunning plan...
Trinity: Does this plan by any chance involve walking in the front door all guns blazing?
Neo: Um, maybe?

Zeke
02-23-2005, 11:09 AM
Block 24

Neo: I'd like a Morpheus To Go, please.
Guard: Sorry, we're out of bagels.
Neo: But your ad campaign...
Guard: False advertising. Whatcha gonna do, kill us all?

Smith: Look, would you two just leave us alone so I can rant at Morpheus about how much I hate this place?
Brown and Jones: Eh?
Smith: Er, I mean, go fetch the Comfy Chair.
Brown: GASP! Use the Comfy Chair before using the Cushions? We've never done it that way before!
Smith: Good idea. Fetch both. That ought to give me enough time.

Zeke
02-23-2005, 11:10 AM
Block 25

(I reversed the order of this block to avoid having two Smith scenes in a row.)

Neo: Have you heard of the poem "The German Guns", Agent Jones? It goes "Boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom..."
Jones: As it happens, I have, Mr. Anderson. "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM BOOM; BOOM, BOOM--"
Trinity: "--Boom".

Smith: I'll give you a red M&M for the codes...
Morpheus: Oh, fine then. Left, Right, Up, Up, Down, Right, Select.
Smith: That leads to Zion?
Morpheus: No, it multiplies your attacking force by 1,000,000 for the entire battle.
Smith: Hmmmm, that might come in handy someday.