Alphabet Story

[NeoMatrix]

"Oh, you think you can get away in that pile of junk you call a Deathstar," said Han Solol.

[e of pi]

"Please VAL, open the door," Vader called out, running to his spheriod frieght in order to complete his escape from the Millenial Falcioneer, the giant planet-killing-through-laughing-too-hard weapon Solol had constructed.

[Opium]

"Queen Padme is back from the dead!" shouted a joyous Darth Vader, who was looking at a very mad, back-from-the-dead Padme.

(PS: It was me who brought up the Doc, I didn't think he would catch on! :twisted: )

[NeoMatrix]

"Riiiiggghht, and the Doctor is standing right behind me ready to knock me out with a bedpan" said Han Solol.

(Anything you bring up catches on)

[Opium]

"Sorry, but I never actually died...I just didn't want to go through the legalities of divorcing an evil Darth" said am angry, but graceful, 45-year-old Padme.

(that does, very occasionally, appear to be the case )

[NeoMatrix]

"To be or not to be my wife again?" asked Anikin after he took his mask off.

[A person]

"Unfortunately, I'm dieing now. Oh what a shame." said Darth Vader.

[e of pi]

"VAL, open the door," Padme called out, trying to flee from the Doctor, who had just knocked out Han Solol from behind with a bedpan.

[Opium]

"Where are you? Where are you? Everything I believed in has lied to me!" sang Darth Vader, as he had gotten the Doc's disease.


(OLP's "Where Are You")

[NeoMatrix]

"X-rays! Where are my X-rays for Solol's head?" asked the Doctor who was looking for an excuse to not sing a duet with Vader.

[Opium]

Zulu, vhere is Zulu? Vhere am I?" asked a confused Chekov, who had just beamed in from a transporter accident and who had never seen Darth Vader or a holo Doc.

[Xeroc]

"You there! What happened to y?", said an angry alphabetagramatical enforcer.

[NeoMatrix]

"A is the first letter of the alphabet, here have an apple," sang the Doctor, who then continued to sing the rest of the alphabet.

[Xeroc]

"Be quiet, U!", said another random person.

[Opium]

"Come hither, my love!" said Troi to Chekov.

[NeoMatrix]

"Don't stay there because the Doctor is singing the alphabet opera style!" said Chekov.

[Opium]

"Everybody dance now! Da da da da da da da da" sang the Doc and Darth Vader, who where both doing some disco moves.

[NeoMatrix]

*Fart Noises*

[Xeroc]

"Good Grief!", said nearly everyone.

[Opium]

"Help...I'm trapped with a bunch of dancing wierdos!" cried Padme.

[Xeroc]

"I'll help you get back to the right movie!", said Anakin.

[NeoMatrix]

"Just where do you think you are taking her?" asked Darth Vader, causing Gollum to smile.

[Xeroc]

Klaxons went off as the story was raided by the Pirates of the Caribbean.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Llama Llama Llama Llama, Llama Llama DUCK!", finished Mr. Gladstone.

[Xeroc]

"May we b'arrrrrow some rum?", asked a pirate.

[Opium]

"No, that's my rum!" said the Doc, which explained his strange behaviour.

[Xeroc]

"Oh, then, we'll see about that!", said the pirate.

[Opium]

"Padme, please please please like love me stuff? Please?" said a 22-year old pre-Darth Anakin.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Quickly! Leave!", said Korgano, who was not chasing her any more :)

[Xeroc]

"'Rrrrrr we gettin' any rum or not", rem'arrrrked the pirates.

[Opium]

"Stop right now, thank you very much..." sang Darth to Padme, trying to impress her.

[NeoMatrix]

"Take this rum to those pirates since you have had enough for today," said Padme to Darthy.

[Opium]

"Uh-uh, my rum...hey, why is the rum gone?" replied Darth.


(so are Anakin and 22 year old Anakin and Darth the same guy, or is there a time travel plot going on?)

[Xeroc]

"Very odd, this all is.", said Yoda, popping in for another cameo.


(Beats me!)

[e of pi]

"Zzzzzzzzzzzz" snored a high school freshman napping in the corner.

[Xeroc]

"Where were W, X, and Y? Since when does Z come right after V? I demand answers, people!", shouted the AlphaBetaGramatical Enforcer.

[NeoMatrix]

"X-rated those sentences were, deleted we did," replied Yoda.

[e of pi]

"Yoda? Where the heck did you come from?" called out the highschooler, awakening from his nap.

[Opium]

"And now...it's time for the Doc, Darth and Co dancers!" shouted Padme, who just wanted to get everyone to ignore her so she could find a way to see her kids again.

[Xeroc]

Beacause of some obscure treknobabble, we can just skip this whole next scene here.

[Opium]

"Continued to be next episode it is-Padme take back Darth will she, Doc sane become or not?" said Yoda

[Xeroc]

Dun... Dun... Duuun...

[Opium]

"Everybody loves Tide with Colour-Safe Bleach-for those really dirty away missions!" said the commericial.

[NeoMatrix]

"Forget not that it will allow you to reuse your redshirts by getting out those tough blood stains left behind by previous redshirts," continued the commercial.

[Opium]

"Greg Sanders, what happened to your cool spikey hair-did someone murder you hairdresser?" asked Sara Sidle in a commercial for CSI.

[Xeroc]

"Hi there! Buy this crap you'll never need for only $19.99 now, and we'll give you twice as much of it!"*


*Shipping and Handling: $20.00

[NeoMatrix]

"I bought this crap and I loved it, so I don't think I will use another product again," said some satisfied customer.

[Xeroc]

"Just call now! Supplies limited! No strings attached!"*


*Strings may or may not be actually attached. See Owner's Manual.

[NeoMatrix]

"Kids, get your parents permission before playing with their crap," concluded the announcer.

[Xeroc]

"Lather and Rinse is all you need with Supa-Shampoo...", rambled another commercial.

[Opium]

"May we get back to the regulary scheduled programming?" asked a viewer.

[NeoMatrix]

"Not until we bore you with more commercials, annoy you with a special weather report, and tease you about coming back from commercial only to show more commercials," said the tv.

[Xeroc]

"Outstanding! A talking TV!", said the viewer.

[Opium]

"Pay just $340 for a round-trip ticket to London-Heathrow-some restriction apply!" said the ad.

*Restrictions: You must leave on a Wednesday in a west-facing seat and only eat the chicken meal with Diet Sprite. You must stay for at one Sunday and a full moon, then leave a minus of 47 hours before the next full moon or new moon. You may not carry more than the baggage restrictions allow.

[NeoMatrix]

"Quickly, this offer ends soon, like....now!" concluded the ad.

[Xeroc]

"Rats.", said the exterminator.

[Opium]

"Stay tuned for a very special episode of CSI, where Cathrine and Warrick reveal their feelings..." said the CSI promo

*The Fine Print: They reveal their feelings for the brand of coffee Greg likes

[NeoMatrix]

"The State of The Union address will begin momentarily, the shows that you were wanting to watch will be shown next week, and don't worry about flipping to another channel, because this is on every channel," stated a reporter who was asking for it.

[Xeroc]

"Unfortunately, there actually was something to watch tonight. Too bad."

[Opium]

"Venture-Tonight on CBC: The Election: What the candidate's pajamas say about them" said the CBC Venture promo voice.

[Xeroc]

"What to watch? So many choices!", said another viewer.

[Opium]

"Xion radition has really rotted your brain, hasn't it, Darthy?" asked Padme, as the program had finally begun again.

[NeoMatrix]

"Yes, it must be from watching all those commercials" said Darthy, who then called a number to order some crap and some shampoo.

[Opium]

"You're trying to be funny...it isn't working. And stop wasting all my money! " said Padme.

[NeoMatrix]

"Zero worries you have now for money with me being the master of the dark side" said Darthy.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Ah, but it's only money of the Dark Side, Darth!", said Obi-Wan, re-appearing *again*.

[NeoMatrix]

"Better than your Jedi monopoly money," replied Darthy.

[Opium]

"Currency exchangers say that Dark Side money is worth twice that of your lousy Jedi cash!" said Darthy.

[Xeroc]

"Did you look at the health plan?", said Obi-Wan.

[Opium]

"Even if I did, what business is it of yours?" replied Darthy.

[Xeroc]

"For the Jedi side gets much better benefits than the Dark Side!", remarked Obi-Wan.

[Opium]

"Good! I'll reliquish my evil ways right now and become a Jedi again!" said Darthy.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Ho-ho-ho!", said Jedi Master Kringle.

[Xeroc]

"I want a new Death Star for christmas!", said a little kid talking to Jedi Claus.

[Opium]

"Just a minute there kiddie...you're getting a nice Lego one instead" said Jedi Claus.

[Chancellor Valium]

"K...", moaned Anakin.

[Xeroc]

"L...", said someone saying the alphabet.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Moonshine, it is!", Said Yoda, sampling some homemade gin he found in the Jedi Temple basement.

[Opium]

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Luke Skywalker as he saw his supposedly-dead father and general evil overlord, Darthy.

[NeoMatrix]

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that I wasn't actually dead. You must have seen Darthy, my stunt double," said his not-so-dead-afterall father.

[Opium]

"Please, father, don't you remember me? I'm your son, and you owe a lot of Birthday presents!" said Luke.

[Xeroc]

"Quit your whining!", he replied.

[NeoMatrix]

"Reply to me like a father would to a son," said Luke.

[Opium]

"Say, do you know Hans Solo? I hear he's cute!" said Padme

[NeoMatrix]

"True, but I heard that he is with Jabbaman and it looks like the relationship is solid" said Luke.

[Opium]

"Untrue, totally untrue...the truth is that our little Princess Leia is going out with him, and her twin Luke here still hasn't found a date" said Darthy.

[NeoMatrix]

"Very little you know about my dating life, for I have many ladies after my lucky charms," said Luke, who started to panic when he couldn't find his lucky charms.

[Opium]

"What are you trying to do? Revive your career by having product placements for cereal and ...other...things..." asked Padme.

[NeoMatrix]

"X marks the spot," replied Luke.

[e of pi]

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZ," snored a highschooler, sleeping his Non-denominational Holiday Festival Thingy-Break away.

[NeoMatrix]

"You forgot the letter "Y", and if you weren't sleeping, you would know that," said the teacher.

[e of pi]

"Ah, but that's why I don't post here often," replied the student, awakened by the teacher's reprieve.

[NeoMatrix]

"But why bother coming to class if you are going to sleep through it?" asked the teacher, who was eating her lunch in front of the class.

[e of pi]

" 'Cause, if I don't, I get detention after school, unlike college. Lucky bums." replied the student.

[NeoMatrix]

"Detention would be the least of your worries, my son," replied the teacher.

[e of pi]

"Explain?" the student inquires.

[NeoMatrix]

"Frank, I'm your mother. Do I need to explain that?" explained the teacher, while the rest of the class left quietly and quickly for lunch.

[e of pi]

Gosh, mom, do you always have to bring that up?" the student sighed.

[NeoMatrix]

"Hey, when did this turn into an after school special?" asked Padme.

[Opium]

"I want the spotlight! Gimme Gimme Gimme!" said Luke.

[NeoMatrix]

"Just because you are a Jedi Knight doesn't mean you can come into my class late, now you go sit down by Padme and Darthy" said the teacher, who was about to get a ruler to wake up Darthy.

[Opium]

"Know that you are a knight or not know that you are a knight" said sleepy Yoda.

[Anonymous]

"Look at the time. It's time for recess," said the teacher.

[Opium]

"Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away..." said the voiceover

[Xeroc]

"... in a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind, a dimension of no flash photography ..."

[Opium]

"...new ways of writing fanfic were being invented, ways which

[NeoMatrix]

...open your eyes to new ideas and...

[Opium]

purposefully go...where...no...person...has...gone...be...fore"

[Xeroc]

"Quack", said a duck.

[Opium]

"Really, do you have to interupt my voiceover like that-with a duck? Denny Crane" cried William Shatner.

[e of pi]

"Sorry," said the duck, but since he didn't speak English, it sounded like "Quack!"

[Opium]

"Today marks the greatest insult every to me, William Shatner. Denny Crane" said William Shatner as everyone sniggered at the duck, who was impersonating him.

[Chancellor Valium]

Uncle Ugbug ululated his disapproval of this thread's lack of activity.

[NeoMatrix]

Valium did his best to revive it by using the John Survival Kit For Dummies

[whoiam]

Whereupon we all rallied around the stricken thread, doing out damndest to bring it back from the abyss...

[NeoMatrix]

xcept when we can't think of a good sentence that starts with Q.

[Xeroc]

"You're right, y'know, but don't count out the other letters just yet.", replied a character.

[Chancellor Valium]

Zeke gagged at the stench of the decayed thread.

[e of pi]

A campaign of worried posters managed to revive to thread, or at least keep it on life support.

[Opium]

But soon, the story they were supporting was lost, and not the good LOST, but the other kind of lost.

[e of pi]

Could this be the end? *dramatic music*

[NeoMatrix]

"Don't change the channel. We will be write back," commanded some announcer dude. *Cue Commercial*

[Xeroc]

"Electrons at half price at the Chemical Warehouse! Come in today!"

[e of pi]

"Forget everything you knew about cures for lower upper left lung aches. Talk to your doctor about Lunguplex, the new purple-ish pill." said another announcer in the next commercial.

[Xeroc]

"Great deals, come on down! Located in 3.14 * 10^16 convienient locations around the local group galaxies and beyond!", said the announcer for Galaxy Deals.

[NeoMatrix]

"Half priced used electrons, but they smell like new. WOW!" continued the announcer from an earlier commercial.

[Xeroc]

"I can't even believe it!", yelled another advertiser.

[e of pi]

"Just 4 easy payments of $4,444,444.44 for this mint edition ABC gum! But wait, there's more!" he continued.

[Xeroc]

"Know what we'll do? We'll double your order for only 3 times the price!", he also said.

[e of pi]

"LooK! But that's not all! We'll also throw in the new bathroom pie dispencer into the package for only 8 easy payments of $188.88!"

[Xeroc]

"More! More! More! Buy Now! Buy Now! Buy Now!"

[Opium]

"Now, if you buy, you will happy be" said a really bad Yoda impersonator.

[Xeroc]

"Oh, totally, this commerical is, like, my favorite", said an excited viewer.

[Opium]

"Please, let me finish my dramatic Darthy scene!" yelled Hayden Christensen, who really wanted to do his dramatic Darthy scene.

[NeoMatrix]

"Oh, I see that the show you were watching is now over, sorry to take up all your time," said the announcer.

[Opium]

"Quiet....ahem...And so, Padme, I must tell you that it was really my evil alter ego, Commandre Durth, who made me kill you; therefore, please please please please please forgive me and remarry me please?" said Hayden Christensen as Darthy, in the the post-quel movie, "Star Wars 7: Money Makes the World Go Around"

[Xeroc]

"Ripping off Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money, that title is!", said yogurt.

[e of pi]

"So? What are you going to do?" responded the actor.

[Xeroc]

"Take this!", said yogurt as he used the Schwartz to turn the actor upside down and dip him in a vat of maple syrup.

[Opium]

"Ugh...stop being so violent!" said Darthy.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Very rude, when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to go an then you left!"

[Xeroc]

"WTA", said the Word-Association Thread.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Xim the Despot would not approve."

[Xeroc]

"Y + 2 = X^2 / 5 + log( 2*X ), however, does approve", said another.

[e of pi]

Zeke the Mercile..er...Merciful might not approve.

[Xeroc]

"Ah, then we shall ask him!", said Ann Yone.

[Opium]

"But it is too violent-we don't want a 14A rating, do we?" said Anakin/Darthy


(14A=medium PG13 to soft R)

[Chancellor Valium]

"Cameras to aisle four, for the shots of Zuke the Merciless!", screamed someone over the intercom.

[NeoMatrix]

"Do you remember coming into this store?" asked Padme, wondering over to aisle 4.

[Chancellor Valium]

"EEK!" she screamed, seeing Zuke and his half-brother, Mong the Senseless, from the mirror universe.

[Xeroc]

"?fiveR ateB morf yeht erA" ,ekuZ dias ,"?elpoep eseht era ohW !haG"

[Chancellor Valium]

"?gnineppaH s'tahW", gnoM deksa, "!HGRA"

[Xeroc]

"!HAG" ,yas ot ylmodnar ni depmuj nosrep rehtonA

[Chancellor Valium]

"I’d always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn’t even put her in the oven.", said Bertie.

[Chancellor Valium]

"I’d always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn’t even put her in the oven.", said Bertie.

[Opium]

"Just wait a minute...so how did Anakin here get back, how did I live, why are we in a grocery store, and who are these strange people yelling "gah"?" asked Padme.

[Xeroc]

"Kalamazoo! This is absolutely craaaazy!", said somebody else, just for the heck of it.

[Opium]

"Love, my lady love Padme, will you marry me again?" asked Anakin Darth.

[NeoMatrix]

"Marry you? Here? On Aisle 4? Sure!" said Padme.

[Opium]

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Yogurt in classic Star Wars fashion.

[NeoMatrix]

"Opi Wani, will you please take Yogurt over to the Dairy section so we won't interupt us?" asked Padme.

[Xeroc]

"Perchance, did we stumble into Alphabet Story by any chance?", said a passing forumgoer from the one-by-one 5-8 word story.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Quite possibly, dear boy, quite possibly.", replied the First Doctor with an unusual lucidity of the sort that three-hundred-year-old senile men don't usually have.

[Xeroc]

"Really? That doesn't seem to help much.", replied the forumgoer.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Stupid boy.", said Captain Mainwaring.

[Opium]

"Take me, Padme, to be your lawfully wedded husband!" said Anakin.

[Xeroc]

"Ummm....", said somebody else.

[Opium]

"Very bad way to ask for marriage that is, without ring of engagment" said Han Solo, who had just been at a Yoda fan convention.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Why, ain't she sweet!", said Padme to Han about Leia.

[Xeroc]

Xylophone music began playing to set the tone of the event.

[Chancellor Valium]

Zuke disapproved.

[Xeroc]

Arno nym also disapproved. ;)

[Opium]

"By the power vested in me by the aisle of Yogurt, I know pronouce you husband and wife, if no one objects right now" said Zuke.

[Xeroc]

Closely everyone waited to see if anyone objected, said the narrator doing an all-too-common yoda impression.

[Opium]

"Darn it all! Let's just get married already!" said Anakin.

[Chancellor Valium]

"E have no opinion on the matter, myself.", said Uncle Ugbug, who often confuses "E"s and "I"s, and has no opinion on that either.

[Xeroc]

"Frell of a long wait, wouldn't you say?", said an audience member.

[Opium]

"Good, so are we married now?" asked Anakin.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Hi say yes! Kissy-kissy!", said Padme, who, on completion of the marriage vows, had transformed into a buck-toothed Russian peasant-girl from 1872.

[Xeroc]

"I don't know how that happened! Don't look at me!", said a nearby wizard.

[Opium]

"Just a minute, let's reset this without the evil buck-tooth-creating wizard" said Anakin as he turned back time.

[Xeroc]

.kcaJ dias ,"?tfel ev'I erofeb evirra I nac ,sdrawkcab gniog si emit taht won tuB"

[Chancellor Valium]

"Looney! Of course not!", said a voice emanating from nowhere in particular.

[NeoMatrix]

"Maybe he can, but only if Superman flies backwards really fast" said Clark Kent.

[Opium]

"Now, let's get going on our PG-rated honeymoon!" said Anakin to the non-buck-toothed Padme.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Okay, dear!", said Darius, whom he had married by mistake...

[NeoMatrix]

"Padme, where you drunk when we got married?" asked Anakin.

[Opium]

"Quite drunk, actually-I always am!" said Padme.

[Xeroc]

"Reeeeeaaaalllllllyyyyy.....", said someone throughly inquisitive.

[NeoMatrix]

"Someone reeeeeaaaalllllllyyyyy needs a beer or three," said Padme, who turned to the bartender to ask for another beer, then ended up falling off her stool and into Anakin's arms.

[Opium]

"Take it easy, honeybuns, this IS a PG to mild PG 13 type of story!" said Anakin.

[NeoMatrix]

"Unusual this is for a story that makes no sense to children under 13," said Padme, who got back up and turned on the tv to watch Spongebob.

[Opium]

"Very nice, here we are, on our honeymoon, and you're watching cartoons!" said an upset Anakin.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Well what do you expect if you marry a fourteen-year-old? And you're only jealous 'cause you can't see over my huuuuuge head-dress-cum-hairdo.

[NeoMatrix]

"Xeroc, can you turn the tv up, for this is Padme's favorite show?" Anakin asked the bartender.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Yes, well, I still have no clear opinion on anything whatsoever.", said Uncle Ugbug, who appeared again for reasons which are still indeterminate.

[Opium]

"Zero patience have I for drunk Padme" said Yogourt the Bartender

[Xeroc]

"Am I the bartender here or not, now?", I said after having been inserted into the story because of alphabetical convenience.

[NeoMatrix]

"Bartenders we are both, for this is a busy place with great demand for our awesome beer," replied Yogourt.

[Xeroc]

"Certianly!", I replied, serving up another drink.

[Opium]

"Du.... dun. Du.... dun. Du dun du dun du dun du dun..." went the misplaced soundtrack.

[Xeroc]

"Erythrobenzene stocks are up 20%!", said a buisness man to another.

[NeoMatrix]

"Finally some good news," said a man about to jump out of a one story window onto the used mattress below.

[e of pi]

"Good news for you, maybe. My mom threw threw mine away. I really need to explain to her the difference between stock certificates and baseball cards..." lamented the first buisinessman.

[Opium]

"Hi everybody! I'm Doctor Bashir!" said Dr Bashir.

[Xeroc]

"I can't belive it!", said a fan.

[Chancellor Valium]

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", shouted Odo'Itan, back from his home in the Not-Omarian Nebula.

[Opium]

"Judging my your entrance, I think you're in the wrong franchise" said Anakin wisely.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Laugh is up, fuzzball", said Solo.

[Xeroc]

"Make me!", said Duet.

[NeoMatrix]

"Never say that in a bar, do it from afar in a car," said Tenor Trio.

[Xeroc]

"Oh really?", said the Quarrelsome Quartet.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Point to the light!", said Kai Opaka, cryptic as always.

[Opium]

"Quit it! I hate getting stuck with Q" said Janeway, who had just been transported into the strange grocer/bar by Q.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Riiiiight. Anyhow: Hooray, hooray for the spinster's sister's daughter!", continued Opaka.

[Opium]

"So just how many franchises are here now?" asked Yogourt: The Bartender.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Two hundred and fifty, my son.", said a Prior.

[Opium]

"Unless you're going to be adding to the main plot-my plot- could you please just admire and discuss us?" asked Padme.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Vell...Zaphod's just zis guy, y'know?", said Gag Halfrunt, who then looked embarassed for this sudden-yet-pointless outburst.

[Opium]

"Why must I be always just a bit part?" said Padme.

[Xeroc]

"Xplain it as you can't always be the whole byte!", said a random punster.

[Chancellor Valium]

"You're squiffy!", said Sheila, passing through from JBPriestleyLand

[Xeroc]

"Zanhandious!", shouted a Zanhandian fanatic.

[NeoMatrix]

"All fanatics please report to the 2nd floor pool room," said by an announcer over the loudspeaker in the bar

[Xeroc]

"Blast it, and just when I was going to get a few good fanatical-sounding phrases out, too!", said the Zanhanidan fanatic.

[Opium]

"Can I get a cup of tea?" asked Dr. Bashir.

[NeoMatrix]

"Didn't I tell you last week that if you want tea around here, that you must be under 21?" asked Xeroc.

[Xeroc]

"Especially important, there restrictions are.", added Yogurt.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Frood it out, guys! It's all hoopy!", said Zaphod.

[Opium]

"Good grief! It's that guy from that George Clooney movie...I think I want to marry him instead!" said Padme of Bashir, because Anakin was too busy watching the Tenor Trio sing.

[Chancellor Valium]

"Honey, it's chokey-die time!", said Anakin.

[Xeroc]

"Insanity Police! Freeze!", shouted a squadron of insanity police come to raid the bar.

[NeoMatrix]

"Join us in our insanity," said Anakin.

[Xeroc]

"Kalamazoo! This place is loaded with'em! We're going to need a bigger truck!", said an Insanity Police Officer.

[Opium]

"Lousy Bar/Grocer of Lost Characters...well, not characters from LOST, but characters that are lost...you get the point" said Janeway.

[Chancellor Valium]

"My turnips!", sobbed Ugbug.

[Xeroc]

"Now just follow us quietly into the truck...", said another Insanity Policemen as he began rounding them up into the truck.

[NeoMatrix]

(Aside) "Oh yeah, we got a fresh supply of fanatics in the second floor pool room that can save us, and the Insanity Police doesn't know about the 2nd floor since this is only a one story bar," thought Yogurt.

[Xeroc]

"Propane! Hexane! Acetone! Diisobutylamine! Benz...mrph...", said a Chemistry Fanatic being stuffed into a truck by one of the Insanity Policemen.

[Opium]

"QUIT GIVING ME Q!" yelled Janeway as she was rounded up into the truck.

[Xeroc]

""Rrrrrr!", said a pirate, also being stuffed in the truck.

[NeoMatrix]

"Save me, Anakin!" screamed Padme, who was trapped at the top of the bar's tallest tower

[Chancellor Valium]

"Too late!", said the lawyer in charge of the bar, "We're sinking!"

[Xeroc]

"Underwater diving gear on, men!", said the Insanity Cheif Policeman, as the bar began to sink into the lagoon.

[NeoMatrix]

Viki, the bar's captain, woke up from her nap, realized they were sinking after hitting a plot hole, then pressed the reset button.

[Lostoyannaya]

Without hesitation, the reset button did it's thing, and it was as though nothing had happened.

~~Lostoyannaya

[NeoMatrix]

Xeroc, the bartender, was cleaning the bar when two strange people walked in.

[Lostoyannaya]

Yanick and Maestro, they were called.

~~Lostoyannaya

[NeoMatrix]

"Zip up your pants there mister!" cried out a drunk patron.

[Lostoyannaya]

"Ahhl have you know, ahhh'm French." Purred Maestro, whipping out a sub-machine laser gun kindly provided by lieutenant Reed.