September 22

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]A little earlier this week, here's "Anomaly." You'll also find links to two new Czech translations in the [iost_uid0]Enterprise[/iost_uid0] section. I know the audience is pretty limited, but I really dig those Os with slashes in them. Hee hee. Os with slashes.[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Reed: Their ion trail ends here... and then picks up again eight hours later in a different place.
Archer: There's only one possible explanation. The ship went into the distant future, traveled to the other spot, and came back!
T'Pol: This is so like you. The Earth is scorched by an alien probe? It must be from the future. We survive an explosion we shouldn't have? No problem, blame it on the future. Porthos spills salsa all over himself? It's all the future's fault!
Archer: I think you're exaggerating this somewhat.
T'Pol: Am I? Or is the future?
Archer: Hmm, good point.[/quoteost_uid0]
Simply hilarious.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Archer: I think you're exaggerating this somewhat.
T'Pol: Am I? Or is the future?
Archer: Hmm, good point.

Reed: Sir, what are you doing? The prisoner will --
Archer: He'll break.
Reed: Arrrgg... morality conflict... must calm mind with thoughts of weaponry....
Archer: There, that'll do. Feeling any more cooperative, prisoner? ...Prisoner?
Reed: He was sucked out into space, sir. See, when you open an airlock...
Archer: Shoot. We'd better go pick him up.

Reed: Shields (er, hull plating) at 90%!
Archer: Take us (er, I said that's repetitious) in closer!
Reed: Shall I open (er, would you rather I used the wrong word?) fire?
Archer: Nega(er, no, point taken)tive!

Mayweather: It occurred to me that you guys can't turn around and get a new pilot now. So I may as well spend my few lines insulting people. Idiot.[/quoteost_uid0]
Indeed.[/colorost_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Great fiver! Lots of nice jabs at the direction the series seems to be taking, like:

Reed: Mine. What do you get if you combine "The Void," "Equinox II," and "Relics"?

Tucker: Are you worried about an attack, or are you just spending too much time with Malcolm?
Archer: I attended one of his NRA meetings the other day. It was enlightening and informative.

Archer: Then I'll yank you out of the air as another mark of what a bad@$$ I am now.
Coffee Cup: If you're such a bad@$$, how come you take five sugars per cup?

Archer: Okay, I'll just shoot them.
Reed: Excellent! You're already applying NRA thinking in daily life.

Tucker: Doc, I got a plasma burn. Any chance you could just treat it and not --
Phlox: -- go on about your sex life? Sorry, that won't be possible.

Archer: Xindi? Xindi? Their very name fills me with an all-consuming torrent of rage!
Sato: And that's why I told you from here.

Reed: He was sucked out into space, sir. See, when you open an airlock...
Archer: Shoot. We'd better go pick him up.

T'Pol: How did the interrogation go?
Archer: He proved quite cooperative after we thawed him out.

And my favourite line of all:

Archer: Open a channel. This is Jonathan Archer of the pre-Federation starship I'm About to Kick Your Butt.[/colorost_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Reed:[/bost_uid0] Arrrgg... morality conflict... must calm mind with thoughts of weaponry....[/quoteost_uid0]

This has to be one of my favourites.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Archer: Open a channel. This is Jonathan Archer of the pre-Federation starship I'm About to Kick Your Butt.[/quoteost_uid0]

That reminds me delightfully of a stand up comic's gag about the U.S.S. Kickass and the H.M.C.S. Beavertail.

Good job, Zeke! [/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]When is a chili joke not a chili joke?

[quoteost_uid0]
Tucker: The reactor's overloading! Everybody run!
Reactor: You can't run. You can't hide. I'll track you down and fry you all!
Tucker: You're bolted to the floor.
Reactor: For now. [/quoteost_uid0]Shades of Stephen King!
[quoteost_uid0]
Reed: Eeeep! A corpse!
MACO: Eeeep! More corpses!
Archer: Anyone else glad we didn't bring Hoshi?
Sato: (over the comm) I heard that.
[/quoteost_uid0]Heh.
[quoteost_uid0]Archer: That ship doesn't look too friendly. Hailing frequencies?
Sato: All I'm getting from them is this "yarrrrr" sound.
Archer: Uh oh. [/quoteost_uid0]Must've heard about Nat'l. Talk Like A Pirate Day.
[quoteost_uid0]
Sato: I'm just speaking here so someone has a line without an exclamation point.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]
Reed: The door's locked.
Archer: Bring the pod closer, Travis. You can push the locking controls with its nose.
Mayweather: That's absurd, sir.
Archer: Okay, I'll just shoot them.
[/quoteost_uid0]A twist on [iost_uid0]One Little Ship[/iost_uid0]?

Also, all the rest of Travis' and Hoshi's lines, the "that's no moon" bit and ... well, everything. The blurb, too. [/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Sato: I've got their database! Mostly.
Archer: Perfect. Good flying, Travis.
Mayweather: Thanks, moron.
Reed: All right, it's time someone asked. What's with this disrespect all of a sudden?
Mayweather: It occurred to me that you guys can't turn around and get a new pilot now. So I may as well spend my few lines insulting people. Idiot. [/quoteost_uid0]

Bwhahahahahaha....[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Porthos: Ruff! Ruff!
Archer: What's that, boy? Little Trip Tucker fell down the old well? Heh heh heh. I'm so funny.
Coffee Cup: FREEZE
Archer: Huh. That was weird.
Porthos: Ruff.
Archer: Oh, be quiet. Nobody likes a know-it-all.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Sato: I'm just speaking here so someone has a line without an exclamation point.[/quoteost_uid0]
Zeke wrote this, all right.

[quoteost_uid0]Captain's Starlog: The pirates' flight is concerning me. Time to play "follow the leader" with those mean stealers.[/quoteost_uid0]
That one went right over my head, I'm afraid. :S

[quoteost_uid0]Archer: Hold your course! I must follow them forward... repair whatever damage they'll do....[/quoteost_uid0]
Now I think I recognized that as being a ST:FC reference? Or a Voyager reference maybe?

[quoteost_uid0]Archer: Open a channel. This is Jonathan Archer of the pre-Federation starship I'm About to Kick Your Butt.
Pirates: (over the comm) Yarrrrrrrrrrrr....
Archer: Sigh. I hate wasting a good intro line on static.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: :lol: That was probably my favorite part of the fiver.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Archer: Hold your course! I must follow them forward... repair whatever damage they'll do....

Now I think I recognized that as being a ST:FC reference? Or a Voyager reference maybe?[/quoteost_uid0]

I commented to Zeke that it sounded to me like a TBS-censored movie. His was response was, as I recall, a lack of reponse.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quoteost_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Captain's Starlog: The pirates' flight is concerning me. Time to play "follow the leader" with those mean stealers.[/quoteost_uid0]
That one went right over my head, I'm afraid. :S[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]The second half is just kid talk. The first half is a sneaky "Concerning Flight" reference (and thank you Kira for pointing out the similarity to me).[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Archer: Sweet, our stuff is here. Let's beam it back.
MACO: You guys have a transporter? That wasn't in our briefings.
Reed: Maybe if you grunts weren't so stupid you'd have known about it.
MACO: Shove it up your --
Archer: Guys! Calm down; you're both right. We have a transporter, but we use it so rarely half the crew don't believe in it. [/quoteost_uid0]Meant to comment on this. Apparently, some of the audience missed their briefing, as well -- after the ep aired, someone at TrekBBS started a thread asking "When did the [iost_uid0]Enterprise[/iost_uid0] get transporters?" [/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[quoteost_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="NAHTMMM"][quoteost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Captain's Starlog: The pirates' flight is concerning me. Time to play "follow the leader" with those mean stealers.[/quoteost_uid0]
That one went right over my head, I'm afraid. :S[/quoteost_uid0]
The second half is just kid talk. The first half is a sneaky "Concerning Flight" reference (and thank you Kira for pointing out the similarity to me).[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Wait, that's not a Pittsburgh reference? I figured having both the words "pirates" and "stealers" in the same line was referring to Pittsburgh's baseball and football teams, respectively.[/colorost_uid0]

[Wowbagger]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Tucker: Are you worried about an attack, or are you just spending too much time with Malcolm?
Archer: I attended one of his NRA meetings the other day. It was enlightening and informative.

Archer: Okay, I'll just shoot them.
Reed: Excellent! You're already applying NRA thinking in daily life.[/quoteost_uid0]

This is that much funnier after watching [uost_uid0]Bowling for Columbine[/uost_uid0] last night. [/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]
Archer: Open a channel. This is Jonathan Archer of the pre-Federation starship I'm About to Kick Your Butt.

Archer: Computer... show me the Xindi data.
Computer: Warning: some parts are incomplete.
Archer: That won't cause any trouble. Now let's see... "Superweapon is being developed in sector [data missing]"....
[/quoteost_uid0]

:lol:

Excellent Fiver [/colorost_uid0]