April 8

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Guest writer Derek Dean hits two big milestones today with Five-Minute "Dreadnought". Not only does it give him a fiver in all four major Trek series, it marks his 20th fiver for the site. We'll be hearing more from Derek soon, so stay tuned. (That's right, I said "soon." Live with it.)

Also today, Zeke's Top 10 List is now online at 5MV, as is a copy of the "Minefield" fiver that you can read without a mirror.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]woo hoo, an update. Those are always nice to have.
And I am the only one here to comment first, unless there are others with the same problem as me and dont see themselves on the Active members list.

I loved the Office Space References :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Heheheh, I liked it. Good fiver, Derek! :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="NeoMatrix"]I loved the [bost_uid0]Office Space[/bost_uid0] references.[/quoteost_uid0]
[bost_uid0]Chakotay:[/bost_uid0] Tom, you were late for the meeting. And you're
only wearing the minimum amount of flair.
:lol:
Yup, there's one. (And there's also a few [bost_uid0]2001[/bost_uid0] references.)

[bost_uid0]Torres:[/bost_uid0] Why do I feel like I just beamed on to DS9?

That's a great line! I bet they used some of the sets from
that other show to make the inside of the [bost_uid0]Dreadnought.[/bost_uid0]

It was also great to see [bost_uid0]The Hollow Men[/bost_uid0] by T.S.Eliot at
the end of the Fiver. The last time I saw that was when
I watched the televised version of [bost_uid0]The Stand[/bost_uid0] on SciFi.
:eyeroll:[/colorost_uid0]

[Kristina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]And I loved the junk e-mails and the Kes-Prytt, as well as the other TNG episode reference I caught ("...always have Paris"). There were probably a few others I missed, but good one, Derek! :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[quoteost_uid0="FatMat426"][color=#000000ost_uid0]It was also great to see [bost_uid0]The Hollow Men[/bost_uid0] by T.S.Eliot at
the end of the Fiver. The last time I saw that was when
I watched the televised version of [bost_uid0]The Stand[/bost_uid0] on SciFi.
:eyeroll:[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I always liked Eliot's [iost_uid0]The Hollow Men[/iost_uid0]. I thought that was a great poem. I remember going over it in my AP Literature class and really liking it.

I actually liked [iost_uid0]The Stand[/iost_uid0]. I was pretty impressed by the movie. I thought it was a good adaptation of the book. The most disturbing thing for me was later in college when I had a professor who looked [iost_uid0]exactly[/iost_uid0] like Randall Flagg. And he was an evil professor who normally taught the weed-out class.

Anyway, thanks for the comments, everyone. I'm happy to finally be able to have a fiver in all four series. Passing the big 2-0 is just extra.[/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Woo, Derek. :lol:

We may have a new contender for highest density of puns, quotes and allusions. Mercy!

:whimper:[/colorost_uid0]

[MPQ]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]B'Elanna builds a polite killer missile.[/quoteost_uid0]

Hmm... I saw a [iost_uid0]very[/iost_uid0] similar blurb on another website.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Good catch. That blurb's an homage to the "Prototype" blurb at Delta Blues, which is a favourite of mine.[/colorost_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[quoteost_uid0="Derek"][color=#000000ost_uid0]I actually liked [bost_uid0][iost_uid0]The Stand[/bost_uid0][/iost_uid0]. I was pretty impressed
by the movie.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]It was an OK adaption of the book, cuz it was very
cool to see all those characters walking and talking
on TV ([bost_uid0]Gary Sinese[/bost_uid0] did a wonderful job, as well as
[bost_uid0]Miguel Ferrer[/bost_uid0]) but actaully [bost_uid0][iost_uid0]reading[/iost_uid0][/bost_uid0] that giant novel
is much more chilling than looking at what they filmed.
:O
Also, I wanted to say that it's [bost_uid0]VERY[/bost_uid0] cool for you to
have a 5ER in all 4 ST series, and if I ever find the
time to write a [bost_uid0]Niner-5ER[/bost_uid0] then I'll be able to join
you in that club.

It's much more worthy to point out that you've
written 20 overall, which is something I'd like to
do in the [bost_uid0]Farscape[/bost_uid0] section one day. (But mos'
definitely [bost_uid0][uost_uid0]NOT[/uost_uid0][/bost_uid0] today!)
:lol: :suspicious:[/colorost_uid0]

[BR48]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I thought the 2001 references were great, as was the reference to The Hollow Men.

My favorite line was probably this one:
[quoteost_uid0]Paris: Chakotay, Chakotay, when will you learn? You'll always have Paris.[/quoteost_uid0]
Now that's a classic groaner if I've ever heard one.

BTW, you have a typo in this passage:
[quoteost_uid0]Torres: Let's see, how do I crash a computer? I know! Install new software!
Cardassian Dreadnouught: The Maquis Dreadnought has preformed an invalid page fault.
Maquis Dreadnought: That was a valid page fault!
Cardassian Dreadnought: Stack overflow!
Maquis Dreadnought: Norman! Norman, coordinate!
Cardassian Dreadnought: (singing) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.[/quoteost_uid0]

In the first instance of the word "Dreadnought" in the above, you spelled it "Dreadnouught." I assume that was a mistake.[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]If you ask me, you can never have too many [iost_uid0]2001[/iost_uid0] references. Or evil Microsoft references for that matter, though there really aren't enough of those to begin with.

In conclusion, I liked the fiver, and Bill Gates is a bad, bad man.[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[quoteost_uid0="BR48"][color=#000000ost_uid0]In the first instance of the word "Dreadnought" in the above, you spelled it "Dreadnouught." I assume that was a mistake.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Um, no, no. Of course it's not a mistake. I, uh, put the letter u in twice so you would think of other words that have two u's in them like vacuum. And since vacuums are known for sucking I made the typo to point out that the Cardassian Dreadnought sucks. What's more, the Dreadnought was flying through space which is itself a vacuum and so, um, uh, er.... (Psst! Kira, can you please fix it?) ...that is to say, what were we talking about?

And [bost_uid0]Mat[/bost_uid0], I agree the novel is excellent, but I don't know if I'll ever get around to reading it a second time 'cause that thing was looong.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Fixed.[/colorost_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Derek, just when I think your fivers couldn't get any better, you out do yourself - well done my friend

I'm a big fan of allusion, so I always get a kick outta them. I haven't heard anyone mention the [iost_uid0]Star Wars[/iost_uid0] reference, so I'll say that I enjoyed it

But, extremely funny - brightened up my day :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Can I just ask what 'TPS reports' refers to? That's the only bit that baffled me.[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]^ The movie [iost_uid0]Office Space[/iost_uid0]. If you've seen it you'll definitely know what I'm talking about; if you haven't, go see it.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Kim: According to our scans, Dreadnought is thataway.
Torres: Your scans can deceive you. Don't trust them.

Janeway: I just wanted to let you know that there's a big freakin' missle headed your way.
Kellan: (over the comm) Is that some kind of threat?
Janeway: I personally thought it was a rather good one.

Torres: Why do I feel like I just beamed on to DS9?
Dreadnought: Last login: 47474.7 from maquis.org. You have mail.
Torres: Computer, read email.
Dreadnought: "Would you like to enlarge your --"
Torres: Delete message. Ctrl-Alt-Delete.
Dreadnought: The system is going to shut down NOW.

Torres: Dreadnought, why did you start back up?
Dreadnought: (over the comm) Um, Ctrl-Alt-Delete is the instruction to reboot, not to shut down.
Torres: Well, then shut down.
Dreadnought: Neener, neener, neener!
Torres: I never taught it to do that.
Dreadnought: Sure you did. That was in between "Ha ha!" and "Pbbbbt!"

Kellan: (over the comm) So the missile's going to explode and everyone's going to die?
Janeway: Well, we tried to stop it.
Kellan: Yeah, how many casualties did you have?
Janeway: I, um, broke a nail.
Kellan: I hate you. I hate you so much.

Torres: Hello, Dreadnought.
Dreadnought: Last login: 49447.1 from voyager.com. You have mail.
Torres: Computer, read email.
Dreadnought: "Lose weight while trying to self-destruct a missle! It works! No need to excer--"
Torres: Delete message. Shut down.
Dreadnought: Pbbbbt!

Torres: All right. You're a computer, I can talk you into self-destructing. Um, "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad."
Dreadnought: Huh?
Torres: Oh, just tell me why you're not working right.
Dreadnought: Well, maybe it's that corrupted file in my filesystem. By the way, I hope you can breathe without life support. I know I can.

Kellan: (over the comm) Since the planet's going to be blown up, I've taken out an outrageous amount of money from a loanshark, told my wife what I really think of her, and dressed up like an asparagus!
Janeway: We were thinking we would destroy Voyager to stop the missile.
Kellan: Um, actually I think I'd prefer you let the missile destroy us now.
Janeway: You really want to die?
Kellan: Can't you see I'm green with envy?

Torres: Let's see, how do I crash a computer? I know! Install new software!
Cardassian Dreadnought: The Maquis Dreadnought has preformed an invalid page fault.
Maquis Dreadnought: That was a valid page fault!
Cardassian Dreadnought: Stack overflow!
Maquis Dreadnought: Norman! Norman, coordinate!
Cardassian Dreadnought: (singing) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

Janeway: I'm afraid the only way to stop Dreadnought is to push The Button.
Chakotay: The self-destruct button or the Reset button?
Janeway: Can't I do both?

Dreadnought: This is the way the world ends, not with a --
(BANG!)
Transporter: Whine.
Torres: Whimper.
[quoteost_uid0]

If someone had told me earlier today that tonight I will read one TRULY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR fiver..... I mean really, this is a masterpiece. Sorry for copying almost all paragraphs from the fiver, I simply wanted to copy all parts that had me ROTF-laughing. Derek, you`re great. I`ve also read your "Clues" and "Silicon Avatar" this week and I loved them!


Nic[/colorost_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"]If someone had told me earlier today that tonight I will read one TRULY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR fiver... I mean really, this is a masterpiece.[/quoteost_uid0]
It looks like [bost_uid0]Double-D[/bost_uid0] is going to need his own
[bost_uid0]exo-site[/bost_uid0] very soon, or some sort of restraining
bars to hold back all the rabid [bost_uid0]5ER[/bost_uid0] fans!
:lol: :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000ost_uid0]If someone had told me earlier today that tonight I will read one TRULY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR fiver..... I mean really, this is a masterpiece. Sorry for copying almost all paragraphs from the fiver, I simply wanted to copy all parts that had me ROTF-laughing. Derek, you`re great. I`ve also read your "Clues" and "Silicon Avatar" this week and I loved them![/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0][iost_uid0]Finally[/iost_uid0] I get the respect I deserve. :smile:

Seriously, I'm honored you think so highly of my fivers. I've certainly enjoyed writing them and I'm very glad to know that you enjoy reading them.[/colorost_uid0]