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[Scooter]

A week to get through one top ten list? Geez, what is this, Fiver By Committee?


Top Ten Ways to Get Yourself Recruited Into Section 31 (cont'd)

5. Be sure to eat your roughage. Mysterious covert operations organizations rarely accept people who are “irregular,” because of the delays this usually causes during missions.

4. Remember, there are four lights.

3. That unmarked blue button on your tricoder is actually a transporter link that will beam you directly into Section 31 headquarters. No, not that one, the other one. No, the other one. Yeah, that one. No, wait, that’s the one that beams you into deep space, widest disper---oh, well.

2. Be sure to be nice to the new ensign who just transferred into Engineering for no reason. The secret covert ops commander is always the new guy in Engineering.

1. Assume that because Starfleet is military, it will make you do whatever you don’t want to do. “First officer’s Log, stardate 34713.5. Man alive, mapping gaseous anomalies sure is exciting. I hope Starfleet doesn't reassign me to some secret black ops division or something because boy howdy, I love mapping gaseous anomalies...”


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Top Ten Things Archer Would Do If He Commanded Voyager