The Stuff You Always Wanted to Say Game

[Chancellor Valium]

For some bizarre reason, when I ring up people on the phone, they generally assume I'm about 95...It may not help that I usually begin with 'Oh, err, hello...'.

In bookshops, I also tend to open with 'Err, hello. I'd err, I'd like err, err, to buy a book."

I tend to get the 'you-are-a-retard' look/voice back, but it's worth it straining their patience.

Especially when it's something pseudo-obscure...