Persistent, Niggling Questions

[Chancellor Valium]

"(Inspired by a quote by Jim Guigli) My motivation for writing fivers is to find a constructive outlet for my dementia."
This I would recommend for ditching.

EDIT: This one has been niggling at me persistently on and off for about five years now - what the can-you-afford-to-board is a lapazoo?

As in:

Originally Posted by Insane, antiquated lyrics

Charleston, Charleston,
Made in Carolina
Some dance, some prance,
I'll say there's nothing finer than the
Charleston, Charleston,
Lord how you can shuffle
Ev'ry step you do
Leads to something new,
Man I'm telling you
It's a lapazoo,
Buck dance,
Wing dance,
Will be a back number,
But the Charleston, the new Charleston,
That dance is surely a comer,
Sometime,
You'll dance it one time,
The dance called Charleston,
made in South Caroline.

Help?