Ocarina of Time Fiver ver. 2.0

[Nate the Great]

Part Four: The Zora's Sapphire

Link: Toot toot toot!
Ocarina: I’m sorry, but Saria of the Kokiri is away from her Ocarina at the moment. Would you like to leave a message?
Link: She’s probably washing her hair again. I guess I’ll just blow up these boulders.
Navi: Hey, look, it worked! You opened up a path!
Link: What? I mean, of course! That was my plan all along. Yeah.
Navi: You’re a horrible liar.
Link: And you’re a horrible guide. Deal with it.

Navi: There’s a door behind that there waterfall!
Link: Okay, that’s it. No more cold pizza after dark for you.
Navi: You’re mean!

King Zora: My daughter Ruto has the Zora’s Sapphire. She’s behind me at Lord Jabu-Jabu’s shrine, but—
Link: Oh, let me guess. “None shall pass!”
King Zora: Hey, how’d you know that?
Link: Wild guess. Hey, what’s that!
King Zora: What?
Link: Zoinks!

Link: So you’re Lord Jabu-Jabu.
Jabu-Jabu: Ribbit.
Link: Timmy fell into the well AGAIN?
Navi: Can we get this over with now?
Link: Sure, just let me do my Fish Dance to get him to open his mouth.
Navi: No, not the Hokey-Pokey! The horror! The Hyrulianity!

Ruto: Go away! I’m fine!
Link: Hey, lady, and I use that term loosely; you’re stuck in the belly of a giant fish. You’re hardly “fine.”
Ruto: Of course I am! I can knock on his teeth just as easily as you can to get out.
Link: Really? I thought I’d have to hack my way out.
Ruto: Men! And I use that term loosely.

Ruto: Hey, it’s my mother’s stone! The Zora’s Sapphire!
Link: Actually, it looks more like the Zora’s Sapphires. There are three stones!
Ruto: Oh, be quiet or you’ll dissuade me from declaring you my fiancée.
Link: Oh, I would NEVER want THAT to happen!

Ruto: Hey, this platform is moving up!
Link: I can see that!
Navi: Can you see the Big Octo that came down?
Link: Of course. Who could miss a butt that big?
Navi: I sure don’t miss it!
Link: Lame…

Link: Hey, I killed Big Octo, so where’s Ruto?
Navi: Did you really expect it to be that simple?
Link: Kinda.
Navi: You’re hopeless.

Barinade: Sizzle!
Link: Oh, an electric monster in a fish dungeon. That’s new.
Navi: Less talk, more chop!
Barinade: Gak!
Link: Ugh, and now I’m covered in gak! Stupid death puns…

Ruto: Here’s the Spiritual Stone. Of course this means we’re engaged.
Link: Uh, don’t you hate me?
Ruto: Not anymore! I’m very fickle. Hadn’t you noticed?
Link: So if I wait ten minutes we won’t be engaged anymore?
Ruto: Good luck with that theory.

Link: Whoa, wasn’t it a sunny day just a second ago?
Navi: Yes.
Link: So how come it’s suddenly a stormy night?
Navi: Beats me.
Link: Weird…

Navi: It’s Zelda and Impa!
Zelda: Link, take this!
Link: Whoa, good arm!
Navi: I give it an eight.

Ganondorf: Hey, you, where did Zelda go?
Link: What does she look like?
Ganondorf: Like this glowing orb of doom, only more princessy.
Link: Sorry, but I’ve already got an annoying pink powerpuff.
Navi: Hey!