50th Anniversary TOS Episode Discussion Marathon

[Nate the Great]

March 15th, 1968, "Bread and Circuses"

Fiver (by Derek)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

CHEKOV: Definitely class M, somewhat similar to Earth.
KIRK: Yes, similar. But the land masses and oceans are quite different, however.
SPOCK: Different in shape only, Captain. The proportion of land to water is exactly as on your Earth. Density five point five, diameter seven nine one seven at the equator, atmosphere seventy eight percent nitrogen, twenty one percent oxygen. Again, exactly like Earth.

I think this is supposed to justify the parallel evolution without having a duplicate Earth like other episodes. A valiant attempt, but I prefer the good old-fashioned "this is a necessary hand-wave to tell these stories, if we had the budget we'd use more alien makeup."

SPOCK: Fascinating. This atmosphere is remarkably similar to your twentieth century. Moderately industrialised pollution containing substantial amounts of carbon monoxide and partially consumed hydrocarbons.
MCCOY: The word was smog.
SPOCK: Yes, I believe that was the term. I had no idea you were that much of a historian, Doctor.
MCCOY: I am not, Mister Spock. I was simply trying to stop you from giving us a whole lecture on the subject.

It's a shame we never got this kind of repartee in later series, at least as well-written or of such frequency.

SPOCK: Then the Prime Directive is in full force, Captain?
KIRK: No identification of self or mission. No interference with the social development of said planet.
MCCOY: No references to space, or the fact that there are other worlds, or more advanced civilisations.

For the longest time this was as close to a full description of the Prime Directive as we ever had. The interesting thing is that merely visiting prewarp societies is allowed. No duckblinds, no trained cultural observers, any ordinary Starfleet officer can walk around these planets.

The thing is, if all Starfleet officers (and Federation scientists) take a vow that they're willing to die before breaking the Prime Directive, why are these sorts of missions allowed? At least by people not fully trained for this sort of thing.

MCCOY: One, just once, I'd like to be able to land someplace and say, Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel.
SPOCK: I fail to see the humour in that situation, Doctor.
MCCOY: Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mister Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork.

Why wasn't this sort of thing more present in later series?

SPOCK: Complete Earth parallel. The language here is English.

It's rather sad how much this episode tries to defend the parallel development, only for it to completely backfire when the viewer is reminded of all those other episodes where the locals are nothing like Earth humans and yet still speak English. Even if my suspension of disbelieve can accept parallel development of humans, language is another matter. For some reason the writers are choosing to point out plot holes rather than ignoring them and hoping the audience does the same.

FLAVIUS: Who are you?
KIRK: We come from another province.

And again. In this episode our heroes are trying their best to fit in and not violate the Prime Directive, which just brings to mind how often they break it in other episodes.

Captain's log, stardate 4040.7. On the surface of planet four, system eight nine two...

And again. Of course we'd assign numbers to planets that have indigenous populations until we're informed by the locals what they consider the name of their world to be. But then there are all those episodes where we unilaterally give both the planets and the locals names and expect them to go along with it.

Captain's log, stardate 4040.7. (cont.) An amazing example of Hodgkins's law of Parallel Planet Development.

Until a text cameo in an Enterprise episode over thirty years later this will be the only mention of Hodgkin's Law. It won't be mentioned by name again in canon. A shame, as you'd think it'd come up more often.

KIRK: (looking at a car advert) But the Jupiter Eight? Mars toothpaste. Neptune bath salts.
SEPTIMUS: Taken from the names of false gods.

So...the planet evolved to be identical to Earth. The people evolved to be identical to Earth. The language, the inventions, the religions, everything is identical to Earth. Even proper nouns. One wonders what Improbability Factor you'd have to use in the Heart of Gold to create such a planet. Who knows how many whales and bowls of petunias and whales you'd make before this planet happens...

SPOCK: Curious, Captain, the similarity in names. Were you told why Merik was dropped from the Space Academy?
KIRK: He failed a psycho-simulator test. All it takes is a split second of indecision. Hardly the type to become a political strongman.

I wonder if the writers of TNG's "Coming of Age" was referencing this. The weird thing is that "unsuitable for command" is hardly the same as "unsuitable to be a Starfleet officer of any kind." Unless Merik was one of those "if I can't be a captain I don't want anything to do with Starfleet" types.

MCCOY: Odd that these people should worship the sun.
SPOCK: Why, Doctor?
MCCOY: Because, my dear Mister Spock, it is illogical. Rome had no sun worshipers. Why should they parallel Rome in every way except one?

Trillian must've forgotten to carry a one somewhere in her Improbability Drive calculations. Hehe...

SPOCK: Doctor, if I were able to show emotion, your new infatuation with that term would begin to annoy me.
MCCOY: What term? Logic? Medical men are trained in logic, Mister Spock.
SPOCK: Really, Doctor, I had no idea they were trained. Watching you, I assumed it was trial and error.
FLAVIUS: Are they enemies, Captain?
KIRK: I'm not sure they're sure.

Great writing.

KIRK: If I brought down a hundred of them armed with phasers...
CLAUDIUS: you could probably defeat the combined armies of our entire empire, and violate your oath regarding noninterference with other societies. I believe you all swear you'll die before you'd violate that directive. Am I right?
SPOCK: Quite correct.
MCCOY: Must you always be so blasted honest?
CLAUDIUS: But on the other hand, why even bother to send your men down? From what I understand, your vessel could lay waste to the entire surface of the world. Oh, but there's that Prime Directive in the way again. Can't interfere.

Exactly. It does beg the question...what do you do about people who haven't vowed to keep the Prime Directive, but are doing so anyway? Although the easy solution here is to take the cue of "A Piece of the Action" and stun everyone. Take the leaders away to be court-martialed before the rest can wake up.

SCOTT: But they have used the code term Condition Green, which means they're in trouble. But it also prohibits my taking any action.

A good idea, too bad we can start making a list of other episodes where the term should've been used and wasn't...

MCCOY: Well, what I'm trying to say is you saved my life in the arena.
SPOCK: Yes, that's quite true.
MCCOY: I'm trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin!
SPOCK: Oh, yes. You humans have that emotional need to express gratitude. You're welcome, I believe, is the correct response. However, Doctor, you must remember I am entirely motivated by logic. The loss of our ship's surgeon, whatever I think of his skill, would mean a reduction in the efficiency of the Enterprise and therefore

I love these two. No matter how much later writers tried to replicate this dynamic, they never pulled it off to the same level of success.

UHURA: I'm afraid you have it all wrong, Mister Spock, all of you. I've been monitoring some of their old-style radio waves, the empire spokesman trying to ridicule their religion. But he couldn't. Don't you understand? It's not the sun up in the sky. It's the Son of God.
KIRK: Caesar and Christ. They had them both. And the word is spreading only now.
MCCOY: A philosophy of total love and total brotherhood.

This Chekov's Gun (insert obvious joke here) was pulled off about as well as could be expected, I suppose.

[Nate the Great]

The Fiver

Kirk: Spock, you beamed us down to the middle of nowhere.
Spock: No, Captain. The middle of nowhere is just over there.
Kirk: Whatever. Just remember, obey the Prime Directive.
McCoy: Do no harm?
Kirk: No, the Prime Directive!
McCoy: Always be prepared?
Kirk: Didn't you watch TNG? It's all they ever talked about!

Nice density of humor, there.

Flavius: We're son worshippers. Remember that. There will be a quiz later.
Kirk: You know, the twist ending loses something when we see it in text.
Flavius: Well, pretend you're reading 'sun' and not 'son' anyway.

I feel that there could've been one more more line, a joke about scripts or somesuch.

Kirk: Well, while we're sitting here in jail, you can tell us more about this weird sun obsession of yours. I don't recall anything like it in our Roman mythology.
Flavius: It's not Roman, it's Jewish. Long ago, the son took on our form and taught us to love one another. However, some people didn't like him calling himself God, so they killed him, but he came back to life, and now we follow him.
Kirk: Still not ringing any bells.

Time for another Hitchhiker's quote. “And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change..."

Claudius Marcus: Welcome to our planet. You must be proud of your friend Merik for finding it.
Kirk: I come to bury Merik, not to praise him.
Marcus: Ah! Now here is an honourable man.
Merik: I'm getting a bad feeling about this. (looks at calendar) Crap! March 15!

I'll just leave this link to the Reduced Shakespeare Company's version of Julius Caesar here. It's amazing how the episode was first broadcast on March 15th, isn't it? I'm pretty sure that it wasn't intentional.

McCoy: Thanks for saving me, Spock.
Spock: No problem, wimp.
McCoy: I'm sorry for getting into an argument with you earlier.
Spock: Yeah, you are pretty sorry.
McCoy: Hey, I'm trying to be good, but you keep twisting everything I say to be an insult!
Spock: It's not my fault you're so pathetic!
McCoy: Am not!
Spock: Are too....

I'm suddenly imagining a buddy comedy where these two get assigned as college roommates and they have to figure out how to live together before they kill each other. Bones and Pointy Ears, coming this fall!

Drusilla: I wonder, what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?
Kirk: Nothing. I wish to be alone.
Drusilla: I see you. You're a man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory... That and burning baby fish swimming all round your head.
Kirk: You're not a vampire, are you?
Drusilla: What makes you say that?
Kirk: Nothing.
Drusilla: I'm naming all the stars.
Kirk: You can't see the stars; that's the ceiling. Also, it's day.

That's at least three Buffy jokes crammed into one scene. Yikes. I had to look these up, FYI. I didn't watch Buffy, but the language is so awkward that I knew they had to be a reference to something.

Memory Alpha

* Only TOS episode where the natives are specifically speaking English. Apparently this is only to emphasize the parallel development, but I still say it wasn't worth it because it creates plot holes in other episodes.
* The director blames a tighter shooting schedule for the lower quality. I blame the script.
* The death tolls are actually higher than mentioned.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil brings up the Prime Directive definition, saying that if followed elsewhere they could never bring Spock along since he'd be "an anachronism." An anachronism is something that doesn't belong in the time period that it exists in, it only works if Phil means that Spock belongs on this planet in the future after formal first contact is made. I think Phil meant "an anomaly."
* If Hodkin's Law can create a copy of the Roman Empire, why was the copy of the Nazis in "Patterns of Force" so unbelievable?
* If a split-second of indecision bars a person from command, what about Kirk's moment of indecision facing the vampire cloud in "Obsession"?
* It seems odd that "Condition Green" couldn't be a codephrase to beam the party up, using the subcutaneous transponders if necessary.

[Nate the Great]

March 29th, 1968, "Assignment: Earth"

Fiver (by IJD GAF)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

PART ONE

Introduction

Okay, let's get this out of the way first: it was wrong for Gene to usurp an entire episode in an effort to get another show to replace TOS just in case it's cancelled. This isn't really a TOS episode, but....

I still enjoy the concept behind Gary Seven's mission (even if it wasn't necessary for generations of his ancestors to be trained and bred for this job), and I do enjoy the expanded universe material concerning his mission.

The Episode

SPOCK: It appears we have accidentally intercepted someone's transporter beam, Captain.

Ugh. This isn't Stargate where one set of transport rings can intercept a signal sent by another. Gary's transporter technology would have nothing in common with our heroes'.

SPOCK: The beam is originating at least one thousand light years away.
SCOTT: No transporter beam can reach that far, not even in our century.

One wonders if the Aegis (I'll come back to this) have mastered the subspace transporter technology that Bok will use a hundred years later.

KIRK: This is the United Spaceship Enterprise. I'm Captain Kirk, commanding.
SEVEN: (to the cat) Yes, I heard him, Isis. We're aboard a space vessel. From what planet?

This statement is painful given what is later done with Seven, when his transporter can go through time and the Beta 5 computer can scan all of history. Again, I'll come back to this.

SEVEN: That's impossible. In this time period, there weren't (notices Spock) Humans with a Vulcan? You're from the future, Captain.

Yes, exactly. He knows roughly when humans and Vulcans will man starships together, but he doesn't know what 23rd-century Starfleet uniforms look like?

SEVEN: I've been living on another planet far more advanced. I was beaming to Earth when you intercepted me.
KIRK: The location of that planet?
SEVEN: They wish their existence kept secret. Even in your time, it will remain unknown.
SCOTT: It's impossible to hide a whole planet.
SEVEN: Impossible for you, not for them.

Since when does "unknown" automatically mean "hidden"? By the by, cloaking entire planets is patently ridiculous even if Star Trek will keep doing it. You can't cloak gravity wells...

SEVEN: This is the most critical period in Earth's history. The planet I'm from wants to help Earth survive.

Okay, the Aegis doesn't have a Prime Directive, fair enough. We could have such discussions about what ten-year period is most critical to humanity's survival, and why Hitler wasn't assassinated by Aegis agents.

(Seven attacks the security men. Spock neck-pinches him but is thrown off.)

Here we go. How much would a human beings' biology have to be altered to make them immune to nerve pinches? You'd have to redesign our nervous systems from the ground up to make sure that a sufficient number of critical nerves aren't present in the same place...

Captain's log, supplemental. A man in a twentieth century business suit. What is he? Not even Spock's Vulcan neck pinch could stop him. Without our phasers, he would have over powered all five of us. I find it difficult to believe the mysterious Mister Seven can be human, and yet, suppose he is?

This is interesting: is Gary's species the most important thing right now? Isn't his motives and intended actions a bit more important right now?

KIRK: What do you make of the cat, Mister Spock?
SPOCK: Quite a lovely animal, Captain. I find myself strangely drawn to it.

Spock's a big softie. First tribbles and now this. Plus his pet sehlat I'Chaya...

KIRK: This is the captain. All science, engineering, and supervisory personnel, lock into the briefing room.

So the vast majority of the crew has to participate in a videoconference? Why? I know that e-mail and instant messaging didn't exist yet, but the command structure exists for a reason. Furthermore, this "everyone takes part in the briefing" thing never happens again (unless you want to include STTMP, which still confuses me).

(Seven tests the forcefield blocking the doorway. Then, behind the guard's back, he takes a pen from his pocket and turns it into a device that shuts the forcefield off. He also uses it to stop the guard from shooting him.)
SEVEN: You're tired. Go to sleep.
(The guard slides down the wall with a grin on his face as Seven makes his escape.)

The simularity between Seven's servo and the Doctor's sonic screwdriver is obvious, but I'd argue that a miraculous bit of handheld tech would for practicality be in something akin to a pen-shape. Besides, if the Doctor Who Wiki is to be believed, the sonic screwdriver first made an appearance in "Fury From the Deep", which first aired around this same time...in England. The show wouldn't air in the US until 1972, and it wouldn't succeed until 1978. The first draft of the script appeared the prior December, so I call this parallel development.

MCCOY: Well, I must admit the sensor readings seem too good. Human readings, yes, but not a single physical flaw. Totally perfect body.

I admit that comparisons to Khan are obvious, but we don't have the space to talk about that here.

(A display case full of glasses splits in two, revealing a massive safe door behind it. The locking wheel turns, the safe door opens and Gary Seven carrying Isis the cat walks out of a fog into the main room. The safe door shuts itself behind him and is hidden again behind the shelves of glasses.)

If Gary has remote access to his transporter (via his servo, presumably), why did he need to use the Enterprise's transporters?

SEVEN: Specify locations of agents two oh one and three four seven.
COMPUTER: Identify self.
SEVEN: Simply check my voice pattern. You'll find me listed as Supervisor one nine four. Code name Gary Seven.
COMPUTER: Voice pattern matches, but I have no listing of a Gary Seven assigned this planet.

So...Gary was able to use his servo to link to the Beta Five to link the transporters before the computer accepted that he was an authorized user? If only he just used the Enterprise transporters to beam into his living room, then activated the Beta Five!

SEVEN: All right. Agents are male and female, descendants of human ancestors taken from Earth approximately six thousand years ago. They're the product of generations of training for this mission.

So six thousand years of humans (that's hundreds of generations!) were trained just so a handful of their decedents could do this job? Talk about useless college degrees...

SEVEN: Problem. Earth technology and science have progressed faster than political and social knowledge. Purpose of mission. To prevent Earth's civilisation from destroying itself before it can mature into a peaceful society.

So...why were agents sent now, in the sixties, instead of during World War II?

SEVEN: Where have you been?
ROBERTA: Oh, the subway got stalled
SEVEN: Where have you been for the past three days?

Wait...the Beta 5 doesn't have pictures of Agents 201 and 347 for Gary to look at? You'd think it could scan for Aegis-altered people, there can't be too many genetically perfect people walking around the city (I don't think that Khan and his fellow genetically-superior followers (I refuse to call them Augments) are walking around at the moment (later novels will place his birth in 1970)).

COMPUTER: Occurrence, automobile accident. Location Highway nine four nine, ten miles north of McKinley Rocket Base. Agents three four seven and two oh one were killed instantly.

Of course there is no McKinley Rocket Base, even if some of the stock footage is of Kennedy Space Center. There are multiple Highway 949s, but all are very short. One wonders why they couldn't just call it the Kennedy Space Center and use the nearby Highway 95.

(Kirk, Spock and the two policemen are beamed up. Kirk and Spock dash off the transporter pad leaving the flat-foots standing, slack-jawed.)
KIRK: Reverse and energise.
POLICE 1: Charlie.
(They are beamed back into the apartment, watched by Roberta.)

So...you're not going to wipe their memory or even turn off the lights in the transporter room to minimize the contamination? No wonder Temporal Investigations considers this guy a menace...

SEVEN: Meow? You are nervous, aren't you, doll?

"Doll"? How did Dixon Hill wander onto the set? Seriously though, this kind of characterization is nice if it wasn't making cameos of our cast. There has to have been a better balance possible between the Assignment: Earth stuff and the Star Trek stuff.

ROBERTA: (pointing the pen at Kirk) Listen you, get away from him.

Since when are you on Gary's side, Roberta? It's not like there weren't other scenes that could've been cut to better develop your character!

SPOCK: Captain, we could say that Mister Seven and Miss Lincoln have some interesting experiences in store for them.
KIRK: Yes, I think we could say that. Two to beam up, Scotty.

Too bad they'll be limited to novels and comic books...

[Nate the Great]

PART TWO

The Fiver

Captain's Log: We've traveled back in time somehow to solve the age-old historical question, "How did mankind survive the 60s?"

Easy: the three B's: Batman, the Beatles, and James Bond. We had to survive as a species lest these cultural icons vanish into the void.

Spock: Jim, why did you have to fall asleep in the middle of the mission drawing?
Kirk: I was tired! I had a... busy night.
Spock: (sigh) We could've been sent to figure out the mystery of the pyramids! Or the strange disappearance of the Roanoke colony!
Kirk: I'm sorry! All right?
Spock: Jeez, we didn't even get picked for "Who was buried in Grant's Tomb?"!

Or discovering that Amelia Earhart was abducted by aliens! Or that a bunch of dinosaurs built starships millions of years ago! Or the fact that the only reason the Native Americans survived is because "Sky Spirits" evolved them!

Scotty: (over the comm) You won't believe this, but somebody has activated the transporter and Gary has escaped!
Kirk: Egad! Well, it could only be one man... Spock, have Chekov put in the booth. Maximum setting.

"I know I stole those Agony Booth plans from the other universe for a reason..."

Beta-5: Agents 201 and 347 seem to have disappeared. Looks like you'll have to do their mission for them.
Gary Seven: And what mission is that?
Beta-5: Oh, just set some rocket to malfunction before it launches an hour from now.
Gary Seven: Shouldn't be too difficult as long as there aren't any distractions.
Roberta Lincoln: Hello!

You walked right into that one, Gary...

Gary Seven: Which agent are you, 201 or 347?
Roberta: I'm not agent, I'm caucagent!
Gary Seven: That's not even remotely funny.

If that's an Asian/Caucasian joke, Gary's right.


Spock: Look, Agent Seven was in possession of blueprints for McKinley Rocket Base.
Scotty: (over the comm) You mean Kennedy Space Center?
Spock: Desilu doesn't have the rights to that president yet, so they went with the guy who was assassinated before him.

Gulf and Western (through Paramount) owned TOS by now, and this was the last episode with Desilu in the credits.

Security Guard: You look suspicious. I'll have to see some ID.
Gary Seven: How's this?
Guard: (reading) Want to know how to keep an idiot busy for hours? Read the other side to find out. (flips card)
Gary Seven: If you need me, I'll be sneaking onto the launch pad.
Guard: Okay. (flips card again)

That's funny.

Gary Seven: Thank you. Now, all I have to do is set the rocket to malfunction over Asia, and then --
Roberta: What?
Gary Seven: Don't try to stop me. The rocket has already launched.
Roberta: No, seriously. I just wanted to know what you were going to say next.

Hopefully it was going to be a Princess Bride joke.

(Gary Seven causes the rocket to detonate 104 miles from the surface)
Everyone but Spock: Hooray!
Spock: Miles?

Obligatory chance for an O'Brien joke aside, it's hardly weird for TOS to use the Imperial system, so where did Spock's confusion come from?

Memory Alpha

* Only appearance of routine time travel in TOS. I wonder why Gary couldn't have been in a ship going back to the 20th century, and accidentally dragged the Enterprise with it. Then the rest of the Enterprise crew could've worried about getting home before Gary fixed it at the end with a time tow.
* The episode mentions that an important assassination will happen today. Six days after the original airdate Martin Luther King, Jr. will be killed. Ouch.
* First episode to have no scenes set in the future.
* Only appearance of Federation transporters intercepting an alien beam. Ahem.

Memory Beta

* The Aegis=Gary's alien sponsors. Their transporters have incredible range, both in space and time. They've trained operatives for many societies through time that need a little help to survive their most turbulent eras.
Here we go. A list of Gary Seven media is here, but I'll only comment on the stuff that I've actually read...

* Assignment: Eternity=A Tal Shiar agent kills Gary's 24th-century Romulan counterpart Septos and hijacks his Beta Seven computer (you need a more advanced computer to monitor an entire empire, you know) to to back in time and kill Spock at Khitomer, preventing his reunification movement and rewriting history to make the Romulan Empire dominant. Gary and Roberta must ask Captain Kirk (a TOS-era Kirk soon after Assignment: Earth, FYI) for help to prevent this. A fun book, especially when Roberta hijacks the Enterprise!

* The Eugenics Wars=Gary discovers the Chrysalis Project that created Khan's people and fails to guide Khan to a more peaceful destiny. Watch out for cameos from just about every twentieth-century character who ever appeared in Trek, from Guinan and Shannon O'Donnel to the people in The Voyage Home and Future's End. Attempts are made to hide not only the Eugenics Wars within known history but explain how the Bottany Bay was created from the advanced tech left behind in the time period by other Trek adventures.

* The John Bryne Assignment: Earth comics=Slightly less dependent on encyclopedic knowledge of Trekdom than other entries (this is a comic book, after all), there's still plenty of weirdness to be found. See Roberta as a hippie and Richard Nixon come face-to-face with a Soviet impostor!

External Assignment: Earth Site

A compilation of the scripts and series proposals.

Nitpicker's Guide

* How can Spock use the ship's records to confirm or deny Gary's intentions? Anything Gary does will appear on the records instantly, it's not like the Guardian of Forever is around to bend the laws of time.
* Why is there a typewriter that can transcribe speech? Can't the Beta Five do this sort of thing automatically?

YouTube

* Spock likes to pet Isis.
* The ending including a transforming Isis and the transcribing typewriter.

[Nate the Great]

Here we go again...

September 20th, 1968, "Spock's Brain"

Fiver (by Zeke)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

Let's get this out of the way up front: the whole brain transplant idea is ludicrous, top to bottom. I'll try to limit my snarking of this premise.

CHEKOV: The one on the left, number three, rates letter B on the industrial scale.

This whole letter system is just weird. It generates plot holes that will never be filled, and is utterly unnecessary. Just jump right to the Earth equivalent (and as SFDebris said, the later mention of an equivalent year not divisible by 100 is silly).

Plus the letter system will only be mentioned here, and in "Wink of an Eye" an alternate number system will be used. Silly silly. Just stick to "primitive, preindustrial, etc."

SULU: But that ship, Captain, either it was many years ahead of us or the most incredible design fluke in history.

Ugh. The components of the space shuttle were the result of decades if not centuries of cumulative industrial development. You can't just toss a bunch of parts together randomly to make a spaceship if your civilization isn't even advanced enough to make the parts!

KIRK: Who are the Others?
MORG: Givers of pain and delight.

We'll come back to this.

SPOCK [OC]: Captain, there is a definite pleasurable experience connected with the hearing of your voice.

This seems stilted and awkward, even for Spock. It seems stilted and awkward by Data standards!

KIRK: They were smart enough to invent these training devices. What a way to maintain control over a man.
SCOTT: Pain and delight, he said up above.
MCCOY: I'm sure you noticed the delight aspect of this place.
KIRK: Yes, I certainly did notice those delightful aspects. But that too was strictly under command of the women.

So the women enslave the men for physical labor (and possibly the Controller does some backroom genetic extraction to create children in Borg-style maturation chambers), fair enough. But what "delight"? It doesn't seem like "sex" is a concept that either group is aware of, and you have to be taught about physical attraction.

SPOCK [OC]: Captain, I appreciate the risks you are taking on my behalf, but I must insist they are worthwhile only if there is a reasonable chance for success. Let me ask you, how much time has elapsed since--
KIRK: Eighteen hours and twelve minutes.
SPOCK [OC]: Doctor McCoy must've told you that twenty four hours is the maximum my body can
MCCOY: I told him.
KIRK: That leaves us exactly five hours and forty eight minutes, Spock.

Ugh. I doubt that anyone has ever extracted a Vulcan brain to see how long the body can last on life support before dying to create numbers this precise. And it's not like we need hard numbers here...

SPOCK [OC]: She refers to the tape storehouse of knowledge of the builders of this place.

How charming, they still use memory tapes. I know, '60s, but it would be so easy to leave it at "databank"...

MCCOY: I knew it was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.
KIRK: What's that?
MCCOY: I should have never reconnected his mouth.

Ha ha.

Memory Alpha

* The only episode besides "The Cage" where a character walks in front of the viewscreen as it shows a moving starfield. I wonder why they bothered to spend that kind of money on something that's pretty inconsequential. Personally I would've spent more money polishing up the script or at least putting more buttons on Spock's remote control...
* The only time Sulu makes a log entry while in command. Given how often he was left behind on the ship, one wonders why it didn't happen more often. "The captain's place is on the bridge" hasn't been invented yet.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Phil wonders how children are created and whether or not the boys are banished to the surface.
* When McCoy starts to forget, couldn't another member of the landing party use the Teacher and take over?

YouTube

"Spock's Brain" in four minutes

[Nate the Great]

PART TWO

The Fiver

Spock: I would say so. Can you believe it's using an ion propulsion drive? The Federation has never managed that.
Kirk: What about Deep Space 1?
Chekov: Isn't that a space station?

Memory Alpha has no record of a "Deep Space 1." Three, four, five, seven, and of course nine, but not one. Memory Beta says that Deep Space 1 was a starbase that was destroyed during the Tomed Incident (and only in an RPG game book), but there's no mention of an ion propulsion drive. In canon the Ares IV used an ion drive, but again, that's the future. To sum up, I don't get this joke.

Sulu: Oof. Did anyone get the number of that wessel?

Zeke, is that a typo or did you intend that Chekov say this line?

Luma: In the name of Sigma Draconis 6 I will right wrongs and triumph over evil -- and that means you!

Kind of a stretch for a Sailor Moon joke, but okay.

Captain's Log: My team and I have been captured by... wait, how can I possibly be recording a log right now?

This happens so often that it's almost not worth turning into a joke. Almost.

Kara: Back again? Do you enjoy the pain?
Kirk: Not really, but I wouldn't be the first Enterprise captain to YYYEEEEEAGH!

Zeke, I get that there's supposed to be a joke here, probably either about Archer or Pike, but I can't quite figure it out.

Captain's Log: Dr. McCoy has used the Teacher and is now attempting to re-enbrain Spock. The danger to both is great, but he insisted. Gave me some ludicrous speech about risk being our business.

"Re-enbrain"? If you were going to insult the "Risk is our business" speech, you should've tossed in a "I'll have to remember it to throw right back at him someday."

Kirk: (Damn.) Yes, my world has many success stories I can teach you. I think you in particular, Kara, would be a super girl to start running a coffee franchise...

Again, there's a joke here that I don't get.

Scotty: Captain, isn't this sort of the exact opposite of the Prime Directive?
Kirk: It's superceded in this case by an even higher law taught to every captain: the Omega Glory Directive. "If the episode is bad enough, just get it over with by any means necessary."

Oh, the list we could make of episodes where this applies...

McCoy: Wait. Wait! I can't do this!
Kirk: Sure you can! You have before, remember? The neural clone operation? Your job with the Initiative?

The neural clone thing seems to be a Farscape joke, but I don't know what that has to do with McCoy. "Initiative" eludes me.

Captain's Log, Supplemental: Our last chance is to reconnect Spock's -- okay, seriously, HOW am I recording these logs?

At this point? You probably found a recording device somewhere around the Controller. Even so, this isn't a joke that's strong enough to double-dip in the same fiver...

McCoy: I did NOT have any parts left over and I am insulted by the suggestion!
Spock: You mistake my reaction for concern. Quite the contrary. Should I ever make a serious error, you have supplied me with a prime excuse.

"Prime excuse." I want to call this a Star Trek XI joke...

Kirk: Well, that's that. Let's head home.
McCoy: Ugh. Anyone else feel like their very DNA is missing some important gene?
Scotty: Aye, you can say that again. We've had ridiculous missions before, but this one set a new threshold.
Kirk: Oh, have a little spirit, folks. We can't go on missions full of scientific fascination and moral shades of grey all the time. We're bound to get a few like this.
Spock: If I understand correctly, Jim, you are advising us in such situations to simply turn off our --
Kirk: Do NOT say it.

Talk about injoke density. Bravo, Zeke.

[Nate the Great]

Awhile back I covered some of the early drafts of the opening monologue. Today Linkara reviewed the first Star Trek comic ever, which had the opening as follows:


This is the Enterprise, a ship of the Star Fleet. Its five-year mission in space: to probe the far reaches of the galaxy, to search the unknown and unlock its mysteries, to boldly go where no man has gone before!


I don't like this idea that the galaxy is traverseable in a reasonable amount of time, but there are still planets that haven't been visited yet. I guess we're treating certain areas of the galaxy the same as the rain forests of South America and Africa: maybe the coasts are known but the interior isn't.