30th Anniversary TNG Episode Discussion Marathon

[NAHTMMM]

No worries, I appreciate you doing this at all!

[Nate the Great]

Yikes, am I behind. Have I mentioned that I went back to school yet? Between school and work I'm insanely busy. This is finals week, hopefully next week I can catch up. Or at least start to.

[Nate the Great]

April 2nd, 1990, "Captain's Holiday"

Fiver (by Marc)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

First officer's log, Stardate 43745.2. We have departed Gemaris Five, where for the past two weeks Captain Picard has been serving as mediator in a trade dispute between the Gemarians and their nearest neighbour, the Dachlyds.

You know, with all the times that ambassadors have hijacked the Enterprise in TOS for this sort of mission, I do wonder why Picard was needed for this mission. I get that the captain of the flagship has to be able to serve as an ambassador in a pinch, but this doesn't seem like "a pinch", this seems more like Riva or Sarek territory. Furthermore, even if Picard was needed here, was the Enterprise? Surely they could go charting a nearby sector and leave Picard with a security detachment and a shuttle (or even that mythical Captain's Yacht, the Calypso).

RIKER: The place is called Risa, and believe me, Captain, it is a paradise. Warm tropical breezes, exotic food. Nothing to do but sit around all day and enjoy the quiet. And then
PICARD + RIKER: The women.
PICARD: Of course.
RIKER: I'm sure you would find their sybaritic outlook on life very appealing.
PICARD: Oh, I'm sure.

Picard doesn't know what Risa is? It certainly seems like Risa is the sort of place that the entire Federation (within a rounding error) already knows about. Furthermore, if the crew wants Picard to take a vacation so bad, wouldn't it be a matter of public record what kind of places he went to on previous leaves? Incidentally, "sybaritic" means "hedonistic", don't ask me why they used such an obscure word.

PICARD: Unfortunately, this vessel is about to undergo extensive repairs requiring my personal supervision.

What? You'll have to do better than that, Jean-Luc.

TROI: Will, I've just had some terrific news.
RIKER: Really?
TROI: There's an excellent chance my mother may be joining us on Starbase twelve.
PICARD: Your mother?
TROI: She's returning home from a conference on Achrady Seven, and she's going to try to rearrange her schedule so she can spend some time visiting with us.
RIKER: That's wonderful, Deanna.
TROI: She mentioned how much she was looking forward to seeing you again, Captain.

Funny, but cruel. Which I suppose makes it more funny.

RIKER: Is something wrong, Captain?
PICARD: Tell me, Number One, is the entire crew aware of this little scheme to send me off on holiday?
RIKER: I believe there are two ensigns stationed on deck thirty nine who know nothing about it.

Cute joke, but the really out-of-the-way ensigns would either be on Deck 42 or in the nacelle rooms.

WORF: Captain, I would feel better if you would allow me to assign a security officer to you. We will be out of communication range when we leave orbit.

Seriously? I know that Worf can be overprotective, but this is ridiculous. Plus I thought that Risa was a Federation world and would have, y'know, a subspace transmitter? Plus I'd imagine that Risa is important enough to have a starship in orbit at all times. This plot is starting to sound more like it would fit in the age of TOS.

[Nate the Great]

JOVAL: Do you seek Jamaharon?
PICARD: I don't even know what it means. The Horga'hn is for a friend.

This selective translation is starting to annoy me. Is the substitution of "Jamaharon" for "sex" supposed to make this more family friendly? Because if so, it's not working.
PICARD: Well, any woman who can beat a Ferengi at his own game bears watching.

VASH: I'll take that as another compliment. I'm flattered.

I never did like the Vash/Picard relationship. It never made sense. At least on Stargate they devoted the time to making Vala and Daniel work. Besides, we all know that Picard is attracted to redheads. Riker would've made much more sense in this role.

The Fiver

Ajur: Computer, list all Starfleet officers presently vacationing on Risa.
Risan Computer: Officers Dulmer, Lucsly, Braxton, Ducane and Daniels.

I can't imagine Dulmer and Lucsly vacationing on Risa. They seem like "private holodeck program" kind of guys.

Troi: Captain, I've just arranged a week's vacation for you on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet.
Picard: Out of the question! Only oversexed junior crewmen go to places like that!
Troi: Would you prefer Argelius II or Rubicun III?
Picard: No -- still too hedonistic for my taste.
Riker: What about Risa? I've heard that it's a paradise for intellectuals.
Picard: Oh, very well. Counselor, book me there for two days and two nights.
Riker: Pff-fff-fff-fft....
Picard: Number One, are you trying to keep a straight face about something?
Riker: Who, me sir?

Nice overdose of references.

Joval: Do you seek jamaharon?
Picard: You mean like that Curzon guy who just got carried out of here on a stretcher? No thanks.

It stands to reason that Picard would know of Curzon Dax. Of course, Curzon won't die until a year after this, but close enough for fiving work, right?

Picard: Do you have all the necessary gear?
Vash: Yup. Backpack, pistols, thigh holsters, shorts, tank top and sunglasses for me; a bullwhip, a revolver and a floppy hat for you.
Picard: Tell me again where you got your archaeology training?

An Indiana Jones/Lara Croft teamup would be epic.

Memory Alpha

* Last appearance of an Andorian until Enterprise.

[Flying Gremlin]

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

You know, with all the times that ambassadors have hijacked the Enterprise in TOS for this sort of mission, I do wonder why Picard was needed for this mission. I get that the captain of the flagship has to be able to serve as an ambassador in a pinch, but this doesn't seem like "a pinch", this seems more like Riva or Sarek territory. Furthermore, even if Picard was needed here, was the Enterprise? Surely they could go charting a nearby sector and leave Picard with a security detachment and a shuttle (or even that mythical Captain's Yacht, the Calypso).

Considering how little ambassadors there has been in TNG, this actually doesn't surprise me as much.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

What? You'll have to do better than that, Jean-Luc.

Flimsy excuses for a captain to not go on vacation is a Starfleet tradition.

Originally Posted by Nate the Great

This selective translation is starting to annoy me. Is the substitution of "Jamaharon" for "sex" supposed to make this more family friendly? Because if so, it's not working.

I always thought that this word was one that didn't have a direct translation. Kind of like how petaQ is never translated, but the translations of "useless" or "garbage" has been used by Klingons multiple times.

[Nate the Great]

April 23rd, 1990, "Tin Man"

Let's get this out of the way up front. I hate Tam Elbrun. He gives a bad name to the mentally abnormal everywhere. If this guy has proven over and over that dealing with humanoids stresses him out and yields unpredictable and undesirable results, don't make him deal with humanoids!

Transcript
Memory Alpha
Fiver (by Marc)

The Episode

Captain's log, Stardate 43779.3. The Enterprise is preparing detailed exospheric charts of the Hayashi system. Although tedious, this endeavour is the first step toward planet colonisation.

The exosphere is the boundary between atmosphere and interplanetary space. I'm not sure how you "chart" them, or what they have to do with colonization. Furthermore, this does not seem like work the Enterprise should be doing. A science vessel (or even a series of probes) can handle this sort of thing. You'd think a seismographic analysis would be more up the Enterprise's alley, and it would still be a precolonization step.

DESOTO [on viewscreen]: Sorry to sneak up on you like that, Jean Luc
PICARD: Robert, why didn't you inform us?
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: Out here, you never know who's listening. Keeps you on your toes, anyway. Hey, Will. Will, you getting soft on that luxury liner?
PICARD: So, old friend. How are you?
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: Well, you know, they send you Galaxy Class boys out here to the far reaches. Me, I'm just hauling my butt back and forth between starbases.
PICARD: But not today.
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: No, not today.

I like exchanges like this. It makes the show feel more real when it shows that the crew knows others in the fleet that aren't old love interests.

PICARD: If time is so important, why didn't they transmit the orders by subspace?
DESOTO [on viewscreen]: They're worried about Romulan eavesdropping on this one.

The idea that Romulans can detect intership communications several sectors away from the Neutral Zone is disturbing. Furthermore, how would you keep subspace signals confined to a volume smaller than a star system? Are shorter distances easier to encrypt?

DATA: I am Data. An android.
TAM: Incredible, an android. I can't read you at all. It's like you're not there.

It's stated outright that Tam is a stronger telepath than usual. When Data has emotions Troi can read him. There's a whole discussion to be had here about how the emotion chip alters the frequency or whatever of Data's natural thoughts. My point is that Tam should get SOMETHING from Data, even if it's static instead of the music of emotions.

TAM: To communicate with it by subspace. Of course. Linguacode, universal translation, all that. It won't work. Tin Man is too different.

I suddenly wonder if the whale probe could talk to Tin Man. Or the Galaxy's Child species (the Gekli, FYI). Or a Horta, for that matter. Or a Sheliak, or a Tholian, or a Medusan, or...

PICARD: They claim that sector of space where Beta Stromgren is located.
WORF: The Romulans claim all that is in their field of vision.

I'm not sure about how accurate this is. The Romulans want to conquer, sure, but Worf's remark seems like it would be more applicable to the Dominion or the other zealot races.

DATA: That is correct. Starbase one two three has detected two D'daridex class cruisers on an intercept course.

You know, I'd expect Chakoteya to know how to spell D'deridex. While it's nice to know the ship's classes of other races, this episode doesn't seem like the place to do it.

Meaningless aside, The Romulans aren't really a part of this episode in any meaningful context beyond "bad guys", we don't need to know more about their culture. It could've just as easily been the Ferengi or the Breen for their role in this episode.

WESLEY: But Commander, if it is a Romulan ship, with their cloaking device we shouldn't pick them up at all.
LAFORGE: Unless they're pulling so much power for something else that they can't fully cloak.

I like this touch, too bad it wasn't used more often.

TAM: Lonely? I can hear everything that everyone on this ship thinks. No one besides you seems to be missing my charming
TROI: You want them to dislike you. Why?
TAM: Because I'm not a nice man. Okay, okay. Because they scare me. They're too many minds. I can't shut them out. I never could learn. All their loves, their hates, their fears, their needs. It's like a tide that never ebbs. I could drown.

A nice touch. But you can be lonely even when surrounded by people. I know that I've felt it from time to time.

[Nate the Great]

LAFORGE: I'm working on it. Computer, reconfigure structural integrity power to feed inner deflector grid.
COMPUTER: Unable to comply. Requested reroute would compromise operational safety limits.
LAFORGE: To hell with the limits. Override.

Well he's being an idiot. Structural integrity fields and inertial dampeners should be on top of the "never turn these off" list.

TAM: Nice. A little Spartan.
DATA: Spartan?
TAM: Lots of work space, not much room to live.

It's Season Three, this bit where Data doesn't have instant recall of the entire dictionary has overstayed its welcome. If it was ever welcome at all, that is.

DATA: It is indeed laid out as a vessel with what appear to be corridors and chambers. An internal environment suitable for carbon based life forms is being maintained, yet there is no evidence of a crew aboard. Tin Man is a living being which has been bred or has adapted itself to serve a purpose. I find that interesting.

I could rant for quite awhile about the implications of a lifeform modifying itself to serve humanoid needs. The sheer variety of neural systems that would have to operate independently and in parallel are just the tip of the iceberg. I kind of prefer the idea of one guy forming a symbiotic relationship with one ship.

TAM: No! No! We're not the target. It's Tin Man.
PICARD: What do you mean? Do they intend to destroy it?
TAM: Those are their orders if they can't secure the alien.

And how exactly would the Romulans "secure" Gomtuu in such a short amount of time? For the fun of it, I wanted to compare the size of Gomtuu to the space between the upper and lower hulls of a Romulan warbird, but we don't have a size for Gomtuu. Although that would be a cool sight, tractor beams acting as cage bars trapping Gomtuu between the hulls. The only problem would be getting into warp...

LAFORGE: I know. Okay, first thing we need to do is get the main computer working right.
RIKER: No, we fix the shields first.
LAFORGE: Commander, whatever Tin Man hit us with, it fried circuits I thought were unfryable.

Maybe you could get a basic shield bubble without the main computer, but I wouldn't want to take the ship into battle with Romulans with a basic shield bubble. Then again, the entire point of having three computer cores is to have a backup in case something happens. Are you telling me that Gomtuu's pulse knocked out the connections from all THREE cores? Then again, you'd think Data would have a hotkey to isolate one of the cores in case of an unknown energy pulse approaching the ship...

[Nate the Great]

LAFORGE: But shields won't help if that star explodes.

I wonder if metaphasic shielding could withstand the force. Probably not, but maybe if you modified them...

ROMULAN [on viewscreen]: We have monitored the destruction of our sister ship by the star creature. We claim right of vengeance. We will destroy the alien. If you interfere, we will destroy you as well.

This "right of vengeance" thing seems more like a Klingon thing, doesn't it?

The Fiver

Riker: Why "Tin Man"? Is it because the probe's data shows that this organic spacecraft doesn't have a heart?
Elbrun: No, it's because nobody liked the first code name that was proposed. They all said that "Species 8472" sounded really dumb.

It does. I get that the Borg uses numerical designations, but you'd think Kes or Seven could reveal what they call themselves. Or, y'know, Janeway could've asked them when they assumed human form...

Elbrun: Tin Man was hit by some high-energy cosmic rays.
Picard: They penetrated his body and irradiated the crew?
Elbrun: No, but they made him sneeze and... well, you can imagine the rest.

Well, that's morbid.

Elbrun: Tin Man existed symbioticaly with his crew. I'm going to take their place.
Data: You must return with me to the Enterprise.
Elbrun: No, this is where I belong. At long last, all the voices are silent; only Tin Man speaks to me now.
Data: Intriguing. It is the first time I have heard anyone claim that mono is superior to multi-channel surround sound.

That joke didn't really age well...

Picard: Data? How did you get back here? Where's Tam Elbrun? What happened to Tin Man?
Data: It is a long story, sir. To answer your last question first, Tin Man stated that he had finally achieved his ambition to "join with a carbon-based unit and find the Creator."
Riker: And what about Tam? Should we report him as a casualty?
Data: Listing him as "missing" might be more appropriate.

I find the V'Ger analogue a bit of a stretch, but okay...