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Marc Richard presents....

The Top 10 Things Picard Would Dislike About Commanding Archer's Enterprise

  1. Having to sit all by himself in the middle of the bridge without a counselor to tell him what to do or a first officer to give the orders before he has a chance to open his mouth
  2. Being expected to do anything useful with four fewer warp factors and about eighty billion fewer megajoules in firepower than he's used to
  3. The "red alert" signal makes less noise than the door chime of Picard's ready room
  4. Having no Captain's Yacht at his disposal for recreational boating or for staging an insurrection against Starfleet Command
  5. The absence of shields leaves him without anything to raise in an emergency, other than his voice
  6. Caviar made from resequenced protein tastes even less authentic than the replicated stuff does
  7. Having to wear a uniform with zippers and pockets
  8. The embarrassment of discovering that 22nd-century transporters are less accident-prone than 24th-century ones
  9. Commanding a ship with children aboard is bad enough; commanding one with a dog in the captain's quarters is worse
And the number one thing Picard would dislike about commanding Archer's Enterprise....
  1. If history must never forget the name Enterprise, why is it that nobody had heard about the original NX-01 version until recently?
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This list was originally published on September 19, 2005.

DISCLAIMER: On the other hand, the NX-01 is nicely shaped for ramming things....

All material © 2005, Marc Richard.