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Five-Minute "The Journey"

by Zeke

Paris: How 'bout a date?
Torres: I'm way too busy.
Paris: Do it or I'll quote Harry's speech from "Endgame."
Torres: You wouldn't....
Paris: Maybe it's not the destination that matters. Maybe it's the journey.
Torres: AAAAA! Fine, I'll date you, just make it stop!

Seven: What's this about a shuttle trip?
Doc: Oh, you've heard? Tom and I are going on a diplomatic mission.
Seven: Seven of Nine to Commander Chakotay. It is imperative that Captain Janeway be immediately relieved of command. I finally have incontrovertible proof of her insanity.
Chakotay: (over the comm) Sorry, I already tried. She threatened me with Miral-changing duty.

Paris: This is so romantic. In fact, this is--
Torres: If you say "This is perfection," you'll be wondering why your head is where your genitals used to be.

Paris: Okay, you two get one line each before we leave. Use it wisely.
Mahoney: Abernathy's sentence is true.
Abernathy: Mahoney's sentence is false.
Doc: AAAAAAAAAAAGH! Confusing logic! Brain...exploding....
Paris: Wow! Nicely done, guys!

Mateth: Greetings. I'm that guy from the J/C episode.
Paris: You'll have to be a lot more specific.

Janeway: Can I look after Miral for a while?
Torres: You know, if Doc were here, he'd advise me against trusting you with a baby.
Janeway: That's why I waited till he left.

Janeway: Oh good, T'Pel brought your toys here like I asked.
Miral: Why do you always refer to her but never give her lines?
Janeway: Are you kidding? She's a counselor now. I don't need to hear about what she's sensing.

Paris: So tell me -- what's with you and the Inryeth?
Mateth: No relation, they just happen to like our fashion trends.
Sokmal: He's lying! It's an Insurrection thing, just like he told you it wasn't!
Mateth: Guards, kill that guy. Or throw pillows at him if you prefer.

Chakotay: Nice to be having pleasant, UST-filled conversations again.
Janeway: I'll say. You know, maybe it is the journey that matters....
Chakotay: Hey! You just quoted the episode that introduced C/7! Oh, Kathryn, why must you break my heart?

Ipthar: The Bubble's inescapable. Your captain will have to accept the cards she's been dealt.
Paris: You have no business knowing that expression.
Ipthar: Sorry. I meant to say that the die is cast.

Icheb: I want to join Nova Squadron -- just like my hero, Wesley Crusher.
Janeway: Ohhhh boy. You'd better start spending more time with Nick Locarno.
Icheb: Um...you mean Tom Paris, right?
Janeway: It's not polite to correct your captain.

Paris: Well, time for us to go. But first, tell me about these visions you guys have.
Mateth: Our visions show us our past and future.
Paris: But don't you live eternally in the present? Why do the concepts of past and future even make sense to you?
Mateth: Are you trying to defeat us with confusing logic?
Paris: Hey, I've learned from the best.

Janeway: So they say the Bubble's inescapable?
Paris: That and many expressions they had no business knowing.
Janeway: Well, Mr. Bearer of Bad News, you just earned yourself some Icheb duty.

Janeway: Know what I love about you, Chakotay? You're so forgiving.
Chakotay: Nice try, but I'm still not speaking to you.
Janeway: Come on! Can't you give me another chance?
Chakotay: C/7er! C/7er!

Seven: I just can't seem to restore your lost memories!
Doc: Have you tried Control-Z?
Seven: What, the Undo command? Of course I...well...um...aw, dammit.

Wildman: I understand your anxiety, Tom...I too sometimes wonder if I'm being a good parent.
Paris: Yeesh, that's an easy one. When was the last time you and Naomi were even in the same room?

Doc: I remember now! When the inertial dampers shut down, I was...oh. Uh oh.
Seven: You were what?
Doc: I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it might incriminate me.

Icheb: Isn't it funny how much we have in common? We're both top-notch pilots in happy relationships.
Paris: I think you're confusing yourself with who you want to be.
Icheb: No no, I'm serious! I'm a better pilot than Chakotay, right?
Paris: That does not make you top-notch. And what's this "happy relationship" thing?
Icheb: Naomi and I are going steady now. I asked her if she wanted to, and she was silent, indicating a yes.
Paris: Was she even in the room at the time?
Icheb: That's none of your business.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)


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This fiver was originally published on September 19, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2001, Zeke.