Topic Title

[Zeke]

(Regretful acknowledgment that there is no longer a topic description field.)

<a href="http://bit.ly/bnmCyP">Summary</a> of previous thread's storied history.

Explanation of the need to close original oversized thread.

Announcement that current occasion warrants an indulgence or two.

<a href="http://bit.ly/ckSBj8">Appropriate video game quote.</a>

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Statement of disbelief about the resurrection of this thread.

[Derek]

Appropriate youtube video link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFicqklGuB0)

[Zeke]

Recognition. Grumbled priority dispute.

[Nate the Great]

Obligatory "Nate is just saying this in an attempt to sound clever while reminding everybody that he is an obsessive person who puts the 'fanatic' in 'fan'" joke.

Obligatory statement of self-depreciation to attempt to appear humble while failing miserably.

Obligatory sign-out line stolen from whatever show or webcomic he's binging on at the moment.

[Ginga]

Inquiry of, "Salutations, gentlemen. What currently transpires in this particular Internet forum discussion?"

[PointyHairedJedi]

Grand sweeping simile, encompassing the cyclical nature of time and curvature of the universe.

Unintelligibly rambling expression of profound disgust of a deeply unclear sort (possibly aimed at either BP, politicians, or cupcakes).

Further expression of appreciation for our secret alien overlords.

Concluding statement, unconnected to any of the above.

[evay]

Moderately pithy observation on previous statements. Sentence analyzing same. Cheerful conclusion! :)

[Alexia]

Amusement that I've never changed my password to these forums from the one Zeke picked when I locked myself out somehow.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Gratuitous fart noises.

[MaverickZer0]

Incredulity at resurrection of old thread. Lamentation at poster not recalling original. Attempt to turn discussion to octopi.

[Celeste]

comment about pie.

[MmeBlueberry]

Message posted for the sole purpose of announcing poster's presence in the thread.

Laugh laugh laugh laugh.

[MmeBlueberry]

Follow-up post to mention change of avatar after seeing how old the other picture was.

Ponderings about what new member title might end up being.

[Ginga]

Acknowledgment that my member title could in fact stay the same and still make sense.

[Celeste]

Awww'ing over MmeBlueberry's new avatar

[Vedra]

Waving at everyone. Poster acting as if he hasn't been gone for two years. Hoping people will read the BSG fivers being written by poster.

[Zeke]

Hushing sound. Innocent whistling.

[evay]

Suspicious eyebrow raise at innocent whistle.

[Chancellor Valium]

Expression of disbelief and joy at arrival of known forum-members.

Crushingly banal sixty-paragraph ramble, reminiscing about nothing in particular, praising "the good old days" and philosoraptoring on the nature of the universe, tangentially connecting to pie.

Cripplingly unfunny joke.

[NAHTMMM]

Statement of joy concerning reappearances of various members.

Transition containing lame attempt at being cutesy, followed by statement of combined pleasure and shock at existence of thread.

[Edit] Hurried segue. Hurried comment regarding happiness concerning new site updates.

[MaverickZer0]

Celebration at not quite deadness of old members. Scoldings.

Pointing out of the cuteness of ferrets.

[Andy Taylor]

Expression of disbelief at recreation of old thread.

Irreverant reply in honour of old thread.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Gratuitous reference to Scandinavian rodents.

Edit: Edit.

[Nate the Great]

Abuse of a popular thread to entreat the returning members to patronize the Fiveminute.net TV Tropes page:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitleupg47ww5

[Katy Jane]

Squeeing over resurrection of old thread

greeting to old friends

[catalina_marina]

Careful return to 5MV. Brief explanation with regard to use of abbreviation despite renaming of site ages ago.

Agreement with amazement.

Excuses for poster being gone for so long.

Hope of lack of problems caused by return.

Brief fright at national alarm sounding. Relief after quick look at time and date.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Carefully expository welcome [with use of confusing flashbacks], culminating in an anecdote about the present poster, the previous poster, and an evil supercomputer.

Witty wordplay on the swinging of cats, with reference to above poster.

Demonstration of ability to laugh evilly, at great length.

[Katy Jane]

Threat to revive a certain poster shipper movement

non sequitur

[PointyHairedJedi]

Abrupt cessation of evil laughter demonstration.

[Katy Jane]

Evil laughter.

[evay]

Request for PHJ to demonstrate evil sobbing.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Attempt to shift topic to that of cheese.

[evay]

Attempt rebuffed. Prior request repeated.

[Andy Taylor]

Slips employment at Deli counter into conversation to help steer topic onto cheese.

Feeling of shame.

[Katy Jane]

Starts listing her favorite cheeses

[MmeBlueberry]

Statement about wearing, and not being worn by, the cheese.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Appropriate Wallace & Gromit quotation. Comment on the evilness of penguins.

[evay]

Deceptively casual remark expressing wonderment if PHJ could demonstrate evil cheesiness.

[Katy Jane]

Comment about how much she is enjoying school.

[Ginga]

Comment about how much she is not enjoying job-hunting.

Edit to express cockiness over being first on the new page.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Quote from evay

Reply to quote from evay, sans cheese references (with cryptic acknowledgement of such, worded so as to hint as to why).

[evay]

Admiration of PHJ's subtle response. Visual pause before punchline. Request for cheese pie.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Denial of request. Short statement on the glorious nature and of and desirability of submitting to the Hypnotoad, with appropriate link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AOfbnGkuGc).

[Nate the Great]

Heavy sigh that this is still going on. Face in palms, a little desperate muttering.

[evay]

Proud statement of refusal to click on link, with allusion to Worf's famous line resisting the Borg in the conclusion of TNG's first cliffhanger. Comparison of the toad to the Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka.

Brief lamentation that PHJ has no fondness for cheese pie. Meta-comment describing this poster leaving the computer to look up recipe for banana cream pie, with intention to bake and consume same in an attempt at self-solace.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Onomatopoeic text indicative of more evil laughter.

[Zeke]

Quoted text.

Lack of surprise. Reminder of previous thread's longevity.


Edit by PointyHairedJedi: attempt at joke based on above in obvious move to deflect attention away from gratuitous abuse of moderator powers.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Further indication of evil laughter, hastily stifled into innocent whistling.

[Zeke]

Horror.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Lack of meaningful contribution, save statement of acquisition of demi-centurial post.

[evay]

Expression of boredom with evil laughter. Explanation that evil laughter has apppeared in <i>n</i> of PHJ's posts, which is <i>n</i>-1 too many. Petulant reiteration of desire for PHJ to express some evil emotion other than amusement.

Expression of confusion over the meaning of "demi-centurial post." Recounting of failed attempts to link the phrase to Sa'ar's post count on this forum, some symbolic position in a <i>Star Trek</i> fan club which has taken on Romulan personae, or Sa'ar's posited membership in the Society for Creative Anachronisms (focus era: 50 BCE).

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Clarification: demi-centurial reply in Topic Title (but not, apparently, demi-centurial post).

[MmeBlueberry]

Reference to Hitler.

[evay]

Meta-description of rolled eyes at poorly-attempted Godwin. Link to YouTube clip of <i>A Bit of Fry & Laurie</i> sketch with Fry as a captured British agent who falls instantly in love with Laurie's Nazi interrogator.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Attempt to convey a sense of evil sadness for the benefit of evay, concluding in acknowledgement of failure to successfully do so. Return to evil laughter, and reference to "the little green pills".

Oblique jump from previous posters' mention of Godwin to observation that several holy texts would be improved (with various hyperbolic adjectives for emphasis) with the inclusion of internet slang.

[NAHTMMM]

Disturbingly dead-on impression of "evil drowsiness".

Non-mention of the usage of a nearby cat as a model.

[evay]

Expression of gratitude to PHJ for the attempt.

Sad comment on passing of Cat #2 last month, who was elderly and beginning to suffer from a number of ailments. (Parenthetical aside commenting that this poster's brother also had an elderly cat who died two weeks after Cat #2, of natural causes.) A few affectionate statements listing her better qualities. A funny anecdote about her. A note that she is buried next to her sister, Cat #1, who died two years prior. Conclusion noting that we still have Cat #3, so we are not completely feline-deprived.

[Katy Jane]

Comment about how glad she is that her kennel week is almost over and she has time for the computer again. Further note that she is exhausted and should go to bed.

post script about how no one should be completely feline-deprived complete with citing of scientific study.

[MmeBlueberry]

Quote of previous poster's postscript (parenthetical comment about humor found in "poster's postscript").
Lament about allergies.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Relevant quoted text

Expression of non-evil sadness and sympathy for feline absences.

Reminiscence on own departed feline overlords of past times. Link of photo of most recent of same (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v136/PointyHairedJedi/pets/ash03.jpg).

[Chancellor Valium]

Irrelevant comment about wigs. Metatextual paradox.

[Nate the Great]

Quizzical expression upon seeing popularity of thread. Muttering of disbelief that established format is still being followed.

[evay]

Expression of gratitude for PHJ's sympathy, and appropriate expressions of approval (with relevant textual sound effects) for pulchritude of PHJ's feline. Comment comparing past calico felines who have lived with this poster, noting the tendency for this type of cat to be either stupid and affectionate or smart and crotchety.

[Katy Jane]

Excitement over having stuck an animal with a needle for the first time today. Acknowledgement that only a vet tech student would be excited about this.

[MmeBlueberry]

Relevant quoted text

Interrogative statement questioning the longevity of the quoted poster's membership.

[Wowbagger]

Irrelevant post made for no other reason than to claim more than 80% of the "Last post by" spots on the front page of the forums.

Rhetorical self-admonishment.

[NAHTMMM]

Amused observation regarding new member titles. Amused emoticon.

[evay]

Statement expressing that this poster had not noticed the new member titles, but is amused and highly pleased with the new one bestowed by Zeke. Expression of gratitude to the previous poster for pointing them out. (Parenthetical expression of gratitude to Zeke for the new title.) Various statements referencing Joss Whedon, Dr. Horrible, <i>firefly</i>, several characters Nathan Fillion has played, and affection fan nicknames for the latter.

Relevant link to TV critic Alan Sepinwall's summer reviews of <i>firefly</i> (http://www.hitfix.com/tv/firefly/headlines/recaps). Praise of Mr. Sepinwall's previous work, analytical prowess, geek cred, and employment by this poster's local newspaper.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Unnecessary reference to "Hammer Time" (with aside denoting sadness at the lack of connection to the concept of "Hammerspace").

[Zeke]

Delight that reference was caught. Six or seven gratuitous quotes.

Syntax dispute re: <b><i><u>F</u></b>irefly</i>, which is not a special little snowflake.

[evay]

Lengthy reference to poet e.e. cummings and his disdain for capital letters. Parallel reference to singers k.d. lang and will.i.am. Link to screencap of title card (http://wiki.ggc.usg.edu/mediawiki/images/4/48/FireflyLogo.jpg) clearly displaying lowercase initial f. Statement querying whether previous poster has some personal issues vis-à-vis typographic creativity.

[NAHTMMM]

Tangential comment, complete with bad "valley girl" impression, containing the implications that (1) undercapitalization was a signature feature of the last decade of the twentieth century AD and that (2) contemporary usage should be avoided.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Inconsequential statement that poster's feline shares an appellation with knitted woolen hand-coverings.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Non sequitur.

[Zeke]

Link (http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?220).

Refusal to call 5MFY "5Mf", even if it's shorter.

[NAHTMMM]

Carat. Admission of own expectation of a particular spelling bee scene (http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?358), along with link and a brief explanation of vague reasoning behind expectation.

[NAHTMMM]

Today's date in M/DD/YY format.

Theatrical shuddering and screaming.

[evay]

Faint chuckle regarding numerical connection cited above. Notation that a similar occurrence in relation to an album by the band Yes will be in just a hair less than 15 years.

[Chancellor Valium]

Pointless thread revival. Expression of alarm at number of notifications on profile.

[Nate the Great]

Shopworn thread necromancy joke. Pseudo-clever acknowledgement of same.