May 12

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Some of my favourites that haven't been quoted yet:

[quoteost_uid0]Lorian: We were... too late.
Old T'Pol: No kidding. How many fivers have we missed now, ten?
Lorian: I mean too late to stop the Xindi probe.

Archer: Welcome to our ship. Now explain yourself or I'm stapling your face to the hull.
Lorian: I always wondered how long we've had that policy.

Lorian: No one would let her near the big chair after Daniels gave us that tape of "Twilight." I've tried to be the kind of captain you'd want me to be....
Archer: Let's find out. Xindi!
Lorian: Xindi? (WHAM) Ow....
Archer: Looks like you've done me proud.

Phlox: Their story checks out, Captain. That Karyn Archer person has DNA from you, several of the crew, and a couple of weird alien species.
Archer: I guess I had an interesting sex life.
Phlox: I knew my coaching would get you there eventually

Mayweather: And then I end up marrying a hot MACO! It's like one of my fanfic stories and it really happened!

Sato: Don't worry. That doesn't mean you didn't have any relationships with women. It just means they threw you out like a used paper towel when they were done.

Archer: According to Lorian, certain people spent their lives equipping every square millimeter of hull with 50 torpedoes!
Reed: Come on, sir, I ended up leading a lonely life. I didn't have a wife and children I could arm with torpedoes.

Enterprise: ZAP ZAP ZAP
Future Enterprise: ZERPOW ZERPOW ZERPOW
Porthos: Ruff! Ruffruffruff!
Sato: What's with him?
Archer: He knows there's a dogfight going on. [/quoteost_uid0]

The "dogfight" pun is unforgiveable -- and hilarious![/colorost_uid0]