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Five-Minute Tomb Raider 3

India -> London + South Pacific Isles -> Nevada

Rattlesnake: My my, do you WANT to lose the final apocalyptic battle?
Lara: Don't yell at me, I had to wait for my specially ordered purple camo hot pants to arrive....
Rattlesnake: Excuses, excuses.

Lara: I guess I should be asking "Why the hell would an Antarctic artifact be brought here?"
(Stealth fighter flies overhead)
Lara: ...But some questions are best left unanswered.

Lara: Sweet, another ATV! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee(CRASH)
Military Personnel 1: Another terrorist? That's the third one this week!
Military Personnel 2: If by "terrorist" you mean "Roswell-obsessed freak", then yes.

Lara: Zzzzzzz-- woah, where am I? And where are my guns?
Guard: Ha ha! That's what you get for picking Nevada last! Oh, you're in jail by the way.
Lara: Really? Does it have violent prisoners?
Guard: Yeah....
Lara: Could I set them free and wreak havoc?
Guard: You could, but-- Hey! What the-- GAK!
Lara: This sure ain't "The Shawshank Redemption".

Lara: Woo hoo, pistols! Now all I need to do is get out of this stupid prison. Dr. Willard said the artifact was somewhere in Nevada, and the only thing Nevada has that's worth thinking about is Las Vegas, so I bet it's there. (ahem) Excuse me, sir?
Driver: Miss?
Lara: Mind if I hitchhike?
Driver: No passengers, but you're welcome to stow away.
Lara: Righto.

Lara: Ah, so this is it.... Las Vegas!
Aliens: Neener, neener!
Guards: Hey, come back here!
Lara: Hmm.... I smell a conspiracy.

Soldier: Hello Miss.
Lara: Hey, is this the Ora Dagger?
Soldier: Yep. And before you ask, no. We have no clue how a 19th-century explorer made his way to Area 51 and was killed by the aliens who landed in 1947.
Lara: Aw, here I was looking forward to hearing the plot contrivance.

To trek to Antarctica, turn to page 14.