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Five-Minute "The Circle"

by Derek Dean

Sisko: You can't fire Kira, she signed a seven-year contract!
Jaro: Meh, that only counts among Ferengi. Do you have a problem with Li being your new Bajoran liaison?
Sisko: No, he seems really astute. He's already got O'Brien working all morning long trying to track down some sort of "leak".

Door: Chime!
Kira: What do you want?
Odo: I don't want you to leave because I love --
Door: Chime!
Kira: What do you want?
O'Brien: I was hoping I could have your quarters since they're bigger than --
Door: Chime!
Bareil: What do you want?

Bareil: So you got fired? Did they give you the ceremonial furnace?
Kira: Yeah, and I've been taking heat about it ever since.
Bareil: Well then, you should come to Rivendell, the last homely monastery. But you should be careful, things might heat up with the Circle.
Kira: Don't worry, I'll be packing heat.

Bareil: Hey, Kira. Would you like to see something with an hourglass figure?
Kira: Uh, this isn't a monastery of ill repute, is it?
Bareil: Only when Vedek Winn's here.

Dax: Now listen very carefully. Your life may depend on what I'm about to tell you. You need to --
Winn: -- comprendre que l'étendue du Cercle est le carré du rayon multiplié par pi.
Kira: What? Go where? I don't understand.
Jaro: Je pense que je vais adopter "Appuyons Jaro, notre prochain roi!" comme slogan.
Kira: I don't see why people like these orb experiences so much.

Quark: We're so screwed. The Circle would still have weapons coming out their ears even if their ears were Ferengi-sized.
Odo: How do you know that?
Quark: I have ears, don't I?

Bareil: You've seemed very restless since your vision, Kira.
Winn: Sorry to interrupt this conversation but I'd like to say a couple of things that are vaguely disquieting.
Bareil: Um, sure. Go ahead.
Winn: Old oily Ollie oils old oily autos.
Kira: I don't get it.

Sisko: We believe that the Kressari are supplying the Circle with weapons.
Krim: What makes you say that?
Sisko: We have intelligence.
Krim: I don't care how smart you are, I want proof!

Zef'No: Why won't you let my vessel leave?
Li: Sorry, we're just following the standard procedure for our Ruse to Covertly Search Ships policy.
Zef'No: WHAT?
Li: Er, whoops. Sorry, it's my first day. Just ignore that last part.

Sisko: You seem to be pretty relaxed right now.
Kira: I've taken captive my stress and doubt.
Sisko: Well, you know what they say: He who takes things captive, gets taken captive.
Kira: I thought they said that about studying evil.
Sisko: Whatever.

Zef'No: Thanks for the weapons, Mr. Cardassian.
Cardassian: I smell a rat.
Zef'No: You mean that one over there? The one with the misshapen face?
Cardassian: Oh. It really was a rat. Never mind.

Jaro: Mwahaha! I'm the leader of the Circle after all!
Kira: Ah, so that explains all the "Jaro for Emperor" slogans. You took me captive just to tell me that?
Jaro: Well, that and to save the monastery from any more of your arts and crafts.

Sisko: Kira has been abducted. We need to save her.
Quark: She's in the labyrinths beneath the Perikian Peninsula.
Sisko: Thanks, Quark! Wait, why are you being so helpful?
Quark: The way I figure, when she learns I helped save her, she'll give me an earful of oo-mox!
Sisko: She'll give you an earful alright.

Bashir: Ha! Missed me!
Bashir: Missed me again!
Kira: Just get us out of here, Chief.
Bashir: Missed me ag-- Hey, why is my uniform on fire?

Kira: Too bad communications are jammed to Bajor. I bet if Li talked to the Chamber of Ministers, he'd stop Jaro and the Circle.
Li: That's true. There are people who think that just two of me could control the interaction of matter and anti-matter.

Odo: I have proof the Cardassians are supplying the Circle with weapons.
Kira: Oh yeah? And what is this proof?
Odo: This PADD says "Obsidian Order bought 1000 weapons for Bajorans."

Winn: What are you doing tonight, Jaro?
Jaro: Same thing I do every night; try to take over the world.
Winn: So what's in it for me?
Jaro: Same thing that's always in it for you; try to take over the religious world.
Winn: Excellent. Let us now commence our evil cackling. Mwahahahaha!

Chekote: (over the comm) You should evacuate. Wink, wink.
Sisko: I can't believe your doing this to me!
Chekote: Hey, I was winking!
Sisko: So you've got muscle spasms, so what?

Sisko: Screw Admiral Chekote. We're staying.
O'Brien: Uh, I think he wanted us to anyway.
Sisko: I don't care what he wants, I'm staying anyway.
(Sisko gets all defiant (but not the Defiant) at Ludicrous Speed)


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This fiver was originally published on June 16, 2005.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2005, Derek Dean.