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Paneldemonium, Part 7

by Marc Richard

An incursion of Time Travel Week

IJD: Zeke, did you manage to follow any of that?

Zeke: You've got to be kidding me.

Kira: Well, it made perfect sense to me.

IJD: It did?

Kira: Sure. Why do you think I'm so worried? Only a lunatic could understand that kind of logic! What does that say about my mental state?

IJD: Uh...maybe it says that you've got a case of temporal psychosis?

Zeke: Temporal what?

IJD: Psychosis. I saw it on a Next Generation episode.

Zeke: I thought it was temporal narcosis.

IJD: Is there a difference?

Kira: There certainly is! "Temporal narcosis" is when you can't stay awake; "temporal psychosis" is when your thoughts are incoherent. They're not at all the same thing!

IJD: Are you sure? What kind of condition is your brain in after you've stayed up late for an all-night pub crawl?

Kira: It's, uh, tired and fuzzy.

IJD: I rest my case.

Marc: Which reminds me...I really must be going. Five minutes ago is coming up very soon.

Zeke: Could you translate that into Latin? I could use a backup motto for my website.

Marc: Sorry, no time. Here, Marc -- take this before I go.

Marc: The tricorder? Why?

Marc: It's what you sent me back for, right? Now that you have it, my mission has been accomplished.

Marc: True...but you asked me to give it to you a couple of minutes ago.

Marc: Yes, but only to make that temporal causality chain work. It wouldn't make sense for me to keep it!

Kira: Do I dare ask why not?

Marc: Because if I already had a tricorder, there wouldn't be any point in my going back in time to get one, right?

Kira: Uh...right. I guess.

Marc: Good enough. See you all a short while ago.

Zeke: You already did!

IJD: Too late -- he's gone.

Kira: Not soon enough for my taste, if you ask me!

Zeke: It's just as well that I didn't ask. Marc....

Marc: He's gone. Weren't you paying attention to what IJD said?

Zeke: I meant you, not the other one!

Marc: Oh. Sorry. Yes?

Zeke: Hand me that tricorder. I want to see if it really works.

Marc: It works all right. I'm just trying to figure out what this strange reading means.

IJD: What strange reading?

Marc: This one right here, see? I don't like the looks of it.

Kira: The looks of what?

Marc: Of this giant glowing purple space-ribbon thingie that's heading straight for the building we're in...if I understand the screen correctly.

IJD: He's right. The little label here says that it's a "temporal reiteration wave."

Zeke: Huh? What in blazes is a temporal reiteration wave? Could it be what's been causing all these temporal anomalies that have been bothering us?

Marc: The ones we were going to blame on subspace? I don't think so -- it looks much too big. And it's the wrong shape and colour too, in my opinion.

IJD: And it also looks like it's going to hit the outside of this building....


IJD: ...well, uh, right about now.

Kira: Oh no! It's coming straight for us! Look out everybod--



(Theme music of some sort.)

Host: Hi, and welcome to the Late Late Early Late Early Show!

(Applause from the audience members, who are robots with hands programmed only to clap.)

Host: Thanks, you're too kind. With us today we have four very special guests....


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This was originally published on June 30, 2002

DISCLAIMER: Yes, we know we're breaking a few copyrights. It's okay because we're insane. Which reminds us, cabbages roam freely in the twilight.

All material © 2002, Marc Richard.