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Paneldemonium, Part 7
by Marc Richard
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An incursion of Time Travel Week |
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IJD: Zeke, did you manage to follow any of that?
Zeke: You've got to be kidding me. Kira: Well, it made perfect sense to me. IJD: It did? Kira: Sure. Why do you think I'm so worried? Only a lunatic could understand that kind of logic! What does that say about my mental state? IJD: Uh...maybe it says that you've got a case of temporal psychosis? Zeke: Temporal what? IJD: Psychosis. I saw it on a Next Generation episode. Zeke: I thought it was temporal narcosis. IJD: Is there a difference? Kira: There certainly is! "Temporal narcosis" is when you can't stay awake; "temporal psychosis" is when your thoughts are incoherent. They're not at all the same thing! IJD: Are you sure? What kind of condition is your brain in after you've stayed up late for an all-night pub crawl? Kira: It's, uh, tired and fuzzy. IJD: I rest my case. Marc: Which reminds me...I really must be going. Five minutes ago is coming up very soon. Zeke: Could you translate that into Latin? I could use a backup motto for my website. Marc: Sorry, no time. Here, Marc -- take this before I go. Marc: The tricorder? Why? Marc: It's what you sent me back for, right? Now that you have it, my mission has been accomplished. Marc: True...but you asked me to give it to you a couple of minutes ago. Marc: Yes, but only to make that temporal causality chain work. It wouldn't make sense for me to keep it! Kira: Do I dare ask why not? Marc: Because if I already had a tricorder, there wouldn't be any point in my going back in time to get one, right? Kira: Uh...right. I guess. Marc: Good enough. See you all a short while ago. Zeke: You already did! IJD: Too late -- he's gone. Kira: Not soon enough for my taste, if you ask me! Zeke: It's just as well that I didn't ask. Marc.... Marc: He's gone. Weren't you paying attention to what IJD said? Zeke: I meant you, not the other one! Marc: Oh. Sorry. Yes? Zeke: Hand me that tricorder. I want to see if it really works. Marc: It works all right. I'm just trying to figure out what this strange reading means. IJD: What strange reading? Marc: This one right here, see? I don't like the looks of it. Kira: The looks of what? Marc: Of this giant glowing purple space-ribbon thingie that's heading straight for the building we're in...if I understand the screen correctly. IJD: He's right. The little label here says that it's a "temporal reiteration wave." Zeke: Huh? What in blazes is a temporal reiteration wave? Could it be what's been causing all these temporal anomalies that have been bothering us? Marc: The ones we were going to blame on subspace? I don't think so -- it looks much too big. And it's the wrong shape and colour too, in my opinion. IJD: And it also looks like it's going to hit the outside of this building.... (CRRRRRRASHHHHH!) IJD: ...well, uh, right about now. Kira: Oh no! It's coming straight for us! Look out everybod-- (WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH!) (Pause.) (Theme music of some sort.) Host: Hi, and welcome to the Late Late Early Late Early Show! (Applause from the audience members, who are robots with hands programmed only to clap.) Host: Thanks, you're too kind. With us today we have four very special guests.... TO BE CONTINUED...FOREVER |
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DISCLAIMER: Yes, we know we're breaking a few copyrights. It's okay because we're insane. Which reminds us, cabbages roam freely in the twilight. All material © 2002, Marc Richard. |