Link Thread

[AKAArzosah]

Oh. Never watched it.

That's really quite an achievement.

[Nate the Great]

Positively amazing.

[mudshark]

That's really quite an achievement.
Not so hard, really -- I just never turned it on. You'd be surprised how well that works; did it for Seinfeld, too.

To be absolutely fair, I did see the end credits (catchy closing theme! :D ) quite a bit, because another show I did watch came on just after the 6 and 6:30 reruns of Friends, and I was in fact present during one episode while at a friend's house (the same evening, I also watched the first Spider-Man movie, which was another thing I had certainly never planned on doing. Ever. I had to figure out his new DVD player for him, though, and so it went.)

[LtFielding]

Is it Christmas (http://www.isitchristmas.com/)

Chat with God (http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/)

[Nate the Great]

Weird links.

[Chancellor Valium]

Oscar Wilde (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TywJ-htCzLo)

[PointyHairedJedi]

Video removed for terms of use violation? Bah. Wilde? I'm livid!

[Nate the Great]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PrimeDirective

So this is the most complete version of the Prime Directive I've ever seen, but I'm not sure how authoritative it is. Here's the excerpt as written:

"As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes the introduction of superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Star Fleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation."

It must've been written during the Trek Dark Ages, because nobody ever writes Starfleet as two words anymore, do they?

[Nate the Great]

http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Even_better_than_coffee_substitute

I had to send you guys this one. I will quote:

"Captain Kathryn Janeway, a borderline coffee addict, found the substance unappealing."

Borderline? BORDERLINE? Janeway is not a "borderline coffee addict." She's so south of the border she's swapping cappuccino recipes with Speedy Gonzalez. She's been there so long her Social Security card expired. She's so far--SLAP!

I'm fine now. Really. :wink:

[Chancellor Valium]

Video removed for terms of use violation? Bah. Wilde? I'm livid!

Hmm.

How about Flying Lessons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ie3Myg0c6U) as a substitute?

EDIT:

For reasons of karma, I must, to balance this, also inflict upon you this abhorrence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbIwxtzJuDw).

[Nate the Great]

http://www.asimovonline.com/asimov_FAQ.html#non-literary12

I found this quite amusing, and quite practical. To quote:

"The Asimov-Clarke Treaty of Park Avenue, put together as Asimov and Clarke were travelling down Park Avenue in New York while sharing a cab ride, stated that Asimov was required to insist that Arthur C. Clarke was the best science fiction writer in the world (reserving second best for himself), while Clarke was required to insist that Isaac Asimov was the best science writer in the world (reserving second best for himself)."

Like I said, practical.

[Nate the Great]

http://web.archive.org/web/20041010085705/http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/news/local/6528601.htm

Since I was doing research on Juicy Lucys earlier for another thread on this forum, I branched out into other local cuisine treasures and stumbled upon this article. I couldn't help but be reminded of everyone's favorite gangster, Cheech from Badda Bing Badda Boom:

Cheech: I told you I wanted a cheesesteak, and I don't care if you have to go to Philadephia to get it!

[Nate the Great]

http://www.angelfire.com/crazy2/nahtmmm/doodles/text/5mvtoplist.html

I suppose I could put this into the PNQ thread, but these aren't really PNQ. I'm just a little curious about some of this early 5MV stuff.

What's up with this "transwarp bowling ball of destiny" thing?

Are there fivers that actually have the word spluck?

Where is there a Hammer of Crushing reference? I've seen Hammer of Smiting, but not Hammer of Crushing.

mudshark: A thread which has been dormant for many weeks suddenly comes back to life and promptly veers off-topic for two pages. You don't find this in any way strange.
Nate: Well, at least some things don't change, even after all these years.

[LtFielding]

http://groups.google.com/group/dunejihad?lnk=gcimh
Down with Star Wars!!!!

http://atom.smasher.org/error/gallery/
Random error messages.

[NAHTMMM]

http://www.angelfire.com/crazy2/nahtmmm/doodles/text/5mvtoplist.html

I suppose I could put this into the PNQ thread, but these aren't really PNQ. I'm just a little curious about some of this early 5MV stuff.
Yay, someone actually does read that stuff every once in a while. :)

What's up with this "transwarp bowling ball of destiny" thing?
That refers to the "Endgame" fiver (http://fiveminute.net/voyager/fiver.php?ep=endgame).

Are there fivers that actually have the word spluck?
I think so. . . . Google seems to think that only one published fiver uses the word, although several of the "round-robin" events have it as well.

Where is there a Hammer of Crushing reference? I've seen Hammer of Smiting, but not Hammer of Crushing.
Off the top of my head . . . I want to say that Zeke has said that it's Smiting in the forums, and Crushing in the fivers (or maybe vice versa). There's some sort of differentiation based on context, anyhow.


mudshark: A thread which has been dormant for many weeks suddenly comes back to life and promptly veers off-topic for two pages. You don't find this in any way strange.
Nate: Well, at least some things don't change, even after all these years.
That they don't. :)

[Nate the Great]

Of course, these days, it's "dormant for many months" or "years," even.

[LtFielding]

http://gamehubmain.com/default.aspx
Awesome website that I am not the maker of and actually know the owner of it, it is a work in progress though.

[Chancellor Valium]

KotOR mods (http://knightsoftheoldrepublic.filefront.com)

[PointyHairedJedi]

http://www.freerice.com/

I can get to 43, but no higher. Some of the words are pretty damn obscure, I can tell you.

[Chancellor Valium]

^You could say that again...

[LtFielding]

http://randomz.forumarena.com/forum.html

Another forum, it is very random.

[Nate the Great]

Well, I got to 2000 grains of rice, vocab level 35 (it got as high as 38) before I got bored.

[mudshark]

http://www.freerice.com/

I can get to 43, but no higher. Some of the words are pretty damn obscure, I can tell you.
When they can make me guess, they're pretty obscure. Got it up to 46 this time.

[Nate the Great]

The following are a batch of REALLY old pages I made way back before I really knew what was publishable. You can read about h2g2.com here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H2g2).

My main page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/U171140). I suppose a little explanation is needed. Way back in April 2001 I was still a relative newbie in cyberspace. I really only visited my first e-mail account (it was one of those now-dead startrekmail.com accounts), my university mail, startrek.com, and this site. It was nice to wander around and see other "guide entries." Yes, some people turned these things into personal blogs, but there really was some well-researched stuff on things that Wikipedia would never consider "notable." Anyway, I listed some of my hobbies, hoping to stir up a conversation with someone who might share some of them. My interests have expanded since then (it's even pre-5MV, because fivers aren't even on it!), but I sort of keep the thing as a time capsule.

My Digimon/Pokemon trivia quiz (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A583706). Of course, we're talking the first two seasons of both, since that's all that there was when I wrote it. Give it a whirl. It won't bite.

The Movie Quote Quiz (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A579422). Of course I included a few Trek quotes, and I stumped a few people. Play it if you have a few minutes.

The Princess Bride transcript project (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A584174). Just don't ask. It's embarassing. Really.

[PointyHairedJedi]

You know, I really shouldn't be surprised that you're a member of h2g2, Nate. I think I had an account for about five minutes, but it seemed to get canned just because I logged on once and then ignored it after that.

I got to 47! Which is, coincidentally, the IQ of 47 P.E. teachers.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.pjfarmer.com/woldnewton/Spock.htm#StarTrek

An interesting set of articles connecting the Trek universe with the Wold Newton Universe idea.

[mudshark]

I got to 47!
Woohoo!

[Chancellor Valium]

I got to 47! Which is, coincidentally, the IQ of 47 P.E. teachers.
Red Dwarf, though I forget which episode.

[mudshark]

"Future Echoes", it would seem.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Red_Dwarf#.22Future_Echoes.22

One of these days, I'll have to manage to watch that show.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010815

"Swordchucks, yo!"

"This is a western-style medieval setting! There aren't any monks or martial artists within FIVE genres of here!"

It just brought a smile to my face. :)

[ijdgaf]

Scary Mary (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic&NR=1)

[Nate the Great]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/1145226082195.jpg

Any Zelda fan will appreciate this one.

[PointyHairedJedi]

The Adventures of Dr. McNinja (http://www.drmcninja.com/index.html), a doctor who is also a ninja... or possibly a ninja who is also a doctor. Alltogether it's my kind of comic, plus it resolves the ages-old pirate/ninja rivalry in a neatly ass-kicking way.

[ijdgaf]

Hooray for Dr. McNinja! Great comic.

[LtFielding]

http://www.temporal-investigations.com/LCARS_Main_Directory.html

[Nate the Great]

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_146.html

Yet another plug for The Straight Dope in general, but I'm not linking for the sake of the question (why do we use the word Geronimo as we do), it's for the following quote:

"The other day a guy asks me why I love the Internet. Two reasons, I told him. First, you can come up with the definitive answer to seemingly inscrutable questions like this one in three days max. Second, the BS answers from the goofballs in the newsgroups are a riot."

So true, so true...

[Nate the Great]

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Zeke

This absolutely made my day. It's a small Net after all! TVTropes is a particular favorite of mine. Awesome, just awesome. You learn something new everyday.

[Nate the Great]

According to this page (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuelExamplesPartFive), this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlSpg-kk1sY) Walt Disney Home Video vanity plate is scary. I'm just not seeing it. Opinions?

[Nate the Great]

http://startrek.wikia.com/wiki/St._Paul

Yeah, yeah, I know that Starfleet Academy novels are teriary canon (if that), but it still tickles me that Zephram Cochrane is Minnesotan in at least one Trek universe.

[NAHTMMM]

According to this page (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuelExamplesPartFive), this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlSpg-kk1sY) Walt Disney Home Video vanity plate is scary. I'm just not seeing it. Opinions?
Looks kinda like Mickey is powering up or mutating or growing . . . for what reason?? I think it would be scary in a confusing way. Kinda like clowns might be scary to a child.

[Nate the Great]

I actually have Disney videotapes with that thing on it, and it never struck me as scary. The music is a little annoying, but not scary. If anything I'm impressed with the idea that it's horribly tacky. After all, excessive use of neon was a seventies thing, right?

[Nate the Great]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/pigeons

A flash movie based on a song by Tom Lehrer called Poisoning Pigeons in the Park. I was happy to find this, being a longtime fan of The Elements Song.

[mudshark]

"Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" has, for more than 35 years, been one of the few things which is capable of making me smile at any time upon hearing it, no matter what else happens to be going on at the moment.

The World is coming to a messy and unpleasant end? Put this on, and it'll brighten up your whole day. :)

[Nate the Great]

But was the movie at least new to you?

[mudshark]

No, it's one of several I've seen. I don't think any of them have quite managed to capture the spirit of the song.

[Nate the Great]

If I had any doubts about Ocarina of Time being the greatest game ever, they've now been shattered. After almost ten years of playing the game, there are still things I've never seen. I'd never seen this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4aO7Pp348I) before. That's right, one of the good guys dies ON SCREEN in a Zelda game (besides the Great Deku Tree, of course)! This gaming classic still has secrets to reveal, even without hacking in!

If I ever refive OOT, I'll be sure to include this scene.

[catalina_marina]

For those of you who want to know what Sinterklaas is (Though it might be even funnier if you're actually Dutch):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCUHTDrca4s

I can't seem to play it myself, but I'm pretty sure it's the right video.

[Zeke]

Belatedly....

Off the top of my head . . . I want to say that Zeke has said that it's Smiting in the forums, and Crushing in the fivers (or maybe vice versa).

Yes. Smiting was originally my chat weapon, but I use it in the forums too. Crushing is the one that keeps changing hands aboard the NX-01; the name is a tribute to the late, lamented webcomic Pentasmal. I'd link you to an example, but alas, the comic archives remain behind Keenspot's subscription wall.

[Nate the Great]

Well, whatever the "rule" is, I prefer Smiting for all purposes.

[PointyHairedJedi]

A Smite For All Seasons, as t'were?

[Nate the Great]

Yes, exactly (rolls eyes into next state).

As for Zeke, he Smite or he Smite not. (Joke blatently stolen from the excellent John DeLancie novel I, Q)

[PointyHairedJedi]

Groan.

[Nate the Great]

Hehe, that was the point.

[Chancellor Valium]

...The smite that smiteth every day - that smite on rich and poor alike?

[danieldoof]

For those of you who want to know what Sinterklaas is (Though it might be even funnier if you're actually Dutch):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCUHTDrca4s

I can't seem to play it myself, but I'm pretty sure it's the right video.

oh I definately enjoyed that one :)

[Nate the Great]

The Forum Pecking Order (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForumPeckingOrder)

I'm a little curious on where I fit in these categories. I suppose I'm a Regular, but I have aspirations of The Old Guard.

[PointyHairedJedi]

I'm in a rank all of my own, above all of those, which is known only as Awesome.

[Chancellor Valium]

I'd guess I was one of the dimmer Bright Young Things.

[PointyHairedJedi]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1Btwpleq2MY

That's what I sound like when I'm doing the voice part of a crazy megalomaniacal alien dude, which of course was a very hard part for me to imagine myself in.

[Chancellor Valium]

Sci-fi magic (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=L1sYgknWGSA).

[Nate the Great]

http://xkcd.com/180/

"If you die in Canada, you die in real life!"

I was wandering around tvtropes.org again and stumbled across a page discussing the idea that if you die in a dream/in cyberspace/etc. that you'll die in real life. It linked to this comic as a fun subversion. I just thought that the Canucks in the audience would like it. Plus I know that the idea that Canadians don't have "real lives" would incite you guys to a frenzy just as awful as if I dropped a brand-new Revolution into the middle of a 5M.net convention. :)

[Chancellor Valium]

Palestrina's Missa Papae Marcelli - Kyrie (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=y28ZRYF9Q-4)
Palestrina's Missa Papae Marcelli - Gloria (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ry1sQz3vQUc)
Palestrina's Missa Papae Marcelli - Credo (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cjehApMOOb8)
Palestrina's Missa Papae Marcelli - Sanctus (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8g67XzbHjMc)
Palestrina's Missa Papae Marcelli - Benedictus (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3qevcHGxxVg)
Palestrina's Missa Papae Marcelli - Agnus Dei (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pk2FvFnSS24)

EDITH:

Which Star Trek Character Are You? (http://www.matthewbarr.co.uk/trek/index.htm)
Apparently, I'm Picard. Don't trust it's accuracy.

[Nate the Great]

And I'm McCoy. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

[AKAArzosah]

...Worf. Uh, yeaaaaaah...

And now a link for the sake of having a link. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/132/

Have a look at the rest of the comics, some of them are laugh-out-loud funny.

[Nate the Great]

Brick Trek (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yN_KeOiXMPE&feature=related)

An excellent fanmade video. The Captain Kirk and crew as LEGO minifigs! They even spliced together sound clips from the original show into dialogue with a whole new meaning. Plus the mystery villain at the end will shock you!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Heh. Now that I liked.

[Nate the Great]

For me, though, the only question is why (or HOW) the Borg would/could make the Enterprise's clocks run backwards. Not very indicitave of Borg efficiency, is it?

[catalina_marina]

[QUOTE=Chancellor
EDITH:

Which Star Trek Character Are You? (http://www.matthewbarr.co.uk/trek/index.htm)
Apparently, I'm Picard. Don't trust it's accuracy.[/QUOTE]

Spock

[PointyHairedJedi]

Don't be daft, you're Tasha Yar's alternate timeline Romulan daughter. Uh, in the test. Yes. That's what I mean.

[mudshark]

What, the woolly one?

[LtFielding]

http://www.wowbagger.com/
insult generator.

[Nate the Great]

Who's on First, Shakespeare-Style (http://youtube.com/watch?v=BaGHVWKrcpQ)

Just what the link says. Two guys paying homage to a comedy classic by putting a new spin on it.

[Nate the Great]

The Death of Encyclopedia Brown (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29537)

A great spoof by The Onion. As a child I was a big fan of Encyclopedia Brown, and in retrospect I was an avid Encyclopedia/Sally shipper, so this thing amused me.

[AKAArzosah]

Two guys paying homage to a comedy classic by putting a new spin on it.

Or two guys paying homage to a classic by putting a comedy spin on it?



I didn't watch it, youtube disagrees with my non-broadband computer.

[mudshark]

Here, you can find Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories (http://www.boop.org/jan/justso/) in full text, complete with Kipling's original accompanying illustrations.

[PointyHairedJedi]

If you have the inclination to look, you can find many books online now, including most of those of HG Wells.

[Chancellor Valium]

Here, you can find Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories (http://www.boop.org/jan/justso/) in full text, complete with Kipling's original accompanying illustrations.

Ooh! I must look at this soon.

@Pointy and to the floor: Am I the only one who finds Wells' style intolerably stuffy? Admittedly, I only really tried Star-Begotten, but still.

[Zeke]

He is a little stuffy, but definitely not intolerably so. I just read The Invisible Man and loved it. It probably depends on the particular work; I do find some of his short stories a little dense, though still great SF.

[PointyHairedJedi]

The Shape of Things to Come is one of my favourite books ever. Not quite enough to knock Dune off the top spot, but top five for sure.

[mudshark]

If you have the inclination to look, you can find many books online now, including most of those of HG Wells.
There's more and more turning up on Google Books (http://books.google.com/), all the time, and many university libraries also have many titles in full-text online. If you don't mind downloading them, the Gutenberg Project has a lot, too.

I'm afraid I really haven't read a lot of Wells, so I don't have an opinion on his stuffy quotient. Verne's a fun read still, though.

[Nate the Great]

Ctrl+Alt+Del on humor (http://www.cad-comic.com/comic.php?d=20030505)

I found this particularly interesting "manual" while doing a C.A.D. archive binge. It's a relatively new webcomic for me, and quite entertaining, if I must say.

[Nate the Great]

A great Revolution joke (http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20070326)

So anyway, Ctrl+Alt+Del is now officially in my list of Ten Favorite Webcomics, and I'm doing an archive binge. I couldn't help but be amused at this subtle jab at the Nintendo Revolution.

[Nate the Great]

The Original Mr. Owl Tootsie Pop Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2xMGI-QpZw)
The Tootsie Pop Commercial in 3D (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtEPkRK1tlo&NR=1)

The first link is the full one-minute version of the classic Tootsie Pop commercial, which is one of the longest-lasting commercials still on the air (if you count the shortened thirty-second version to be the same thing). The second link is the thirty-second version rendered in 3D.

Of course, it still amuses me that people actually attempt to calculate (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tootsie_Pop) the number of licks, mainly because a definitive answer is impossible given the variables involved.

And because I believe that humor should come first in this forum, here's (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0322.html) an Order of the Stick comic that makes fun of this phenomenon.

[Nate the Great]

A Munchkin Coroner? (http://www.cheshirecrossing.net/page.php?issue=2&pagenum=3)

So my newest webcomic addiction is Chesire Crossing, the crossdimensional adventures of Mary Poppins, Alice Liddell, Wendy Darling, and Dorothy Gale. I'm not making this up (go Dave Barry!). This particular comic had an exchange that gave me the greatest guffaw I've had in recent memory:

Mary Poppins on Munchkin Land: Is it a safe place for us to go?
Dorothy Gale: Well, there's only a hundred or so of them, but they have a full-time coroner, so you tell me.

Ha ha! "As coroner, I vouch for her. I thoroughly examined her. And not only is she MERELY dead, she's really most SINCERELY dead!"

[Chancellor Valium]

Bo Dudley - Mamma's Got A Brand New Bag (Yeah) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsOsH58XKtY)

[Nate the Great]

The Book of Ratings on Pop Flavors (http://www.bookofratings.com/sodaflavors.html)

This may sound like a PNQ, but for me it's neither Persistent nor Niggling. Besides, I wanted to put another plug in for The Book of Ratings.

In any event this page suggests that root beer tastes like toothpaste. Huh?

[Nate the Great]

Super Nerds (http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20050420)

I was amused at this one.

[Nate the Great]

A crossover MST (http://www.svamcentral.org/ewic/mstings/Problems-Pokemon.txt)

Since this is one of those rare fanfics that even >I< can't wrap my brain around, I thought I'd inflict it on you guys. I'm so evil. :)

[AKAArzosah]

Way in the future on the Starship Enterprise, everybody was sleeping because of Jigglypuff.

New sig!

[mudshark]

That made no sense at all to me until I looked it up. Now I hate you both.

[Nate the Great]

Hey, don't blame me! I warned you right from the get-go, didn't I?

[Nate the Great]

Star Trek meets Monty Python (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luVjkTEIoJc)

Well, that's what the video's called. Actually it's the Round Table song from Monty Python and the Holy Grail mixed with video clips from Star Trek. Really funny! I'd forgotten how wacky Kirk and Crew could get, what with Trelane, space hippies, and so on.

[Nate the Great]

A great double pun! (http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/comic.php?comic=590)

I don't want to ruin this for you, just click! What can I say, I'm a sucker for awful puns, and this comic has them in spades.

[Chancellor Valium]

Oscar Wilde (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-4UL9_bZFQ)

I wish I'd posted this earlier.

[MaverickZer0]

<a href="http://community.livejournal.com/ihasatardis/912366.html">We appear to be LJ-ly famous.</a>

Kickass, no?

[mudshark]

That was pretty funny. :D

[PointyHairedJedi]

http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp/star_trek_insp.html

The Kira inspired one is there, of course, but scroll down a little and you'll see another familiar line (and this one actually creditied! Woo!).

[Nate the Great]

I gotta say that if we ever have an official fivist's handbook, the line "you don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps" has GOTTA be in there. It's just so apt. ;)

[Nate the Great]

Betty is speechless (http://www.archiecomics.com/comic-shop/past_comics/veronica/monthlycomic0304_1.html)

I don't want to ruin this one, just click! You're gonna love it!

[Nate the Great]

Two for the price of one (namely nothing)!

Tupper's Self-Referential Formula (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tupper%27s_self-referential_formula)

A formula that produces a graph of itself under the correct circumstances?
1. Who'd think of creating such a thing? (Yeah, it's cool, but still!)
2. How'd they find it?

A Report by Naomi (http://www.trekiverse.org/archive/2000/parody/voy/DailyGrind)

Doc tells Naomi to write a report on the senior staff, so she talks about all of the crushes the senior staff has for each other. She's very observant, isn't she?

[Chancellor Valium]

And He Shall Purify - Messiah, Handel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPiQE4HjcxA)
And The Glory - Messiah, Handel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6yIgN54R7k)
Messiah[/i], Handel (]Ev'ry Valley - [i)
Hallelujah Chorus - Messiah, Handel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnHksDFHTQI)

Zadok the Priest, Handel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPkzt9vklAw)

Miserere mei, Deus, Allegri (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C4xmB1QWYk)

The Man From Harlem, Cab Calloway (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LXznzKaFSo)
C is for Cookiee (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riC_7-rsjAM)
St. James' Infirmary Blues, Duke Ellington (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krfH1LOz_U4&feature=related)
Sing, Sing, Sing - Benny Goodman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9J5Zt2Obko)
Minnie The Moocher (Hugh Laurie) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWnB0hQWGdI)

[Zeke]

Wow, this takes me back. To the tune of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds": "Hoshi and the Slug (http://www.hyperborea.org/alenxa/hoshi.html)" (with violence)

[PointyHairedJedi]

Flow (http://intihuatani.usc.edu/cloud/flowing/), in which you have to eat other things to become a bigger thing.

[mudshark]

The APOD for 13 February (http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap080213.html) -- just because.

[Nate the Great]

To follow up on the Star Trek inspirational posters, I present the following...

Clickety Click! (http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/2152/logicalfallacyny2.jpg)

Let's just say you have to see it to believe it.

[Nate the Great]

I present the following Tom Lehrer quote. Maybe I'll work it into my sig eventually, but here it is anyway.

Tom Lehrer (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer): Irreverence is easy, but what is hard is wit.

[NAHTMMM]

^ He's right, all right. ;)

[mudshark]

^ I liked the sentence beginning the quote which the sentence Nate cited concluded, myself. And the stuff in between, too.

Lehrer's very quotable, though -- always has been.

[Nate the Great]

Well, in any event, I hope that I have wit. After all, I was raised to NOT use bathroom and bedroom humor, so I can't fall back on it.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Lehrer's very quotable, though -- always has been.
Aisde from that Disraeli quote, the only other I can generally recall is the one about Kissinger.

[mudshark]

Aisde from that Disraeli quote...
I'll get this... one day. Just not yet.

[Chancellor Valium]

The Best Is Yet To Come (http://youtube.com/watch?v=DmXzamLDgFk) - Trek style...

[Nate the Great]

Great episode. Especially love how Julian insists on "stirred, not shaken."

[mudshark]

Have I mentioned the Bunny (http://www.bunny-comic.com/index.php?id=1110) comic here yet?

[Nate the Great]

Somebody has GOT to invent a smiley that blinks twice and says "that's random," then blinks twice again and so on in a loop.

I went back a few dozen comics and my impression didn't waver. A few were funny, but mostly I was just "how bizarre is THAT?"

[Nate the Great]

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_keyboards.shtml

Must relate this story from Computer Stupidities, because you Canadians in the audience might enjoy it (or get enraged by it, whatever).

"Back in the good old pre-PC days we sold a system that required the user to hit Ctrl-A in order to sign on. We sold one to some outfit in Canada. Well, trying to get them going over the phone took an hour. We'd say, 'Hit Ctrl-A,' and they'd say, 'Ok, we hit Ctrl, eh? And nothing happened, eh?'"

[PointyHairedJedi]

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

It is, if you haven't run across it yet, Garfield without the Garfield in it. Amusing yes, but also distinctly unsettling.

[Nate the Great]

I'm not sure if those are better than the strips edited with Garfield's lines cut out or not. When Garfield is there you can imagine all sorts of things going through his head, from incomprehension to exasperation and back. But just Jon running around like an idiot, that's what we call "sad and pathetic."

[NAHTMMM]

On that note, has Permanent Monday (http://permanent-monday.blogspot.com/) been mentioned here yet?

[PointyHairedJedi]

Don't believe it has, no. Nice linkage there. ;)

[mudshark]

Hey, Zeke, do they have this at Math Camp? (http://www.bunny-comic.com/index.php?id=1115)

[Nate the Great]

It's Slang Time! (http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics57.html)

"Groovy greets, gates! Frilly filly's steady shmoe is ready to blow...the cuddle buggy's perkin' chuggy an' the pash pit's sizzling huggy!"

I was going to provide a translation and ask for alternatives, but that's leaning into PNQ territory and I'm trying to stop doing these Link/PNQ crossovers.

[Nate the Great]

Strange Candy returns to Wikipedia! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_candy)

Shameless plug time. I'm thrilled that OO (that's Okashina Okashi, long story) has returned to the big W, and highly encourage the reading of this webcomic to anyone who has yet to live the Strange Candy experience! Anime/manga obsession helpful but not required. :)

[PointyHairedJedi]

This is possibly a mistake and a colossal timesink, but that sounds strange enough to be worth checking out.

[Zeke]

Nate, your timing is incredible. I reread this thread the other day and noticed something: way back on page one, I never did explain where I had made a reference to Okashina Okashi on this site. I was just coming here now to finally <a href="../top10/43.html">link you to it</a>. (It's not <a href="../enterprise/fiver.php?ep=azatiprime">here</a>, although that would have been a good guess, considering that the Hoshi in OO really is nicknamed Ho-chan.)

I'm way behind on OO; one of these days I'll go through it all again. I'll appreciate a lot more of the anime/Japan-based humour now. Either way, there are two things I owe to OO: occasionally catching the words "strange" and "candy" in subbed anime, and being completely unable to take <a href="../zeke/nyarr.jpg">this comic panel</a> seriously.

Note for Megatokyo fans: the war between Dom and Ed is actually waged in this comic too. I don't remember the details.

mudshark: Nope. We used to have fencing, though.

[Nate the Great]

Go Orion!

I never really thought of calling Hoshiko Hoshi. She was always Ho-chan to me. Now here's a few classic Strange Candy quotes!

Petra: We’re headed towards outer space. We can’t BREATHE in outer space!
Ellie: Don’t worry! Ulrich once told me that space here has plenty of air. It’s what makes all those space battle explosions sound so cool!
Takeshi: We’re going to DIE!

Bearded Quest Merchant: How may I help you?
Lycidia: We want to go on a quest.
Bearded Quest Merchant: For the Holy Grail?
Lycidia: Will that involve fame and fortune?
Bearded Quest Merchant: No, usually just meeting rude people with French accents and killer rabbits.
Lycidia: Then no.

[Zeke]

Spider-Man, Spider-Man... does whatever a... huh... where am I? (http://www.spiderfan.org/fans/fun/2006/0424.html)

[Nate the Great]

The Dark Secret of the Kool-Aid Man (http://www.applegeeks.com/comics/viewcomic.php?issue=187)

You'll never see him the same again.

[mudshark]

The Dark Secret of the Kool-Aid Man (http://www.applegeeks.com/comics/viewcomic.php?issue=187)
Huh. Boondocks much? (I know the names at the bottom are different, but they've pretty well nicked McGruder's look.)

[Nate the Great]

I've never read Boondocks, I just liked this particular comic.

[Nate the Great]

Star Trek: Zelda (http://www.nintendoland.com/zelda/fanart/view.htm?k/kitana01.jpg)

As if life wasn't bizarre enough. :)

[PointyHairedJedi]

No, I feel it's exactly bizarre enough. :)

[Nate the Great]

Yeah, but is bizarre a good or bad thing?

[mudshark]

It can be.

[Nate the Great]

It can be good, or it can be bad?

[Nate the Great]

Demotivational Posters (http://despair.com/viewall.html)

For those of you who've seen one too many motivational posters, here's the remedy! Trust me, they're funnier than they sound.

[mudshark]

It can be good, or it can be bad?
Indubitably.

[Zeke]

(I know the names at the bottom are different, but they've pretty well nicked McGruder's look.)

As long as they don't nick anything else of McGruder's, they'll be okay in my boo--

Wait a minute. AppleGeeks? Forget it!

[Nate the Great]

Star Trek/Friends (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADDi84EdDV8)

Great music video of NextGen clips set to the Friends theme song "I'll Be There for You," featuring just about every couple in NextGen, from Picard/Crusher to Data/Yar to Picard/Lwaxana to everything in between!

[Nate the Great]

Harley and Ivy win one! (http://shortpacked.com/d/20080317.html)

A cute comic. It was inevitable that Batman would use his fancy equipment on the wrong clue for once, I suppose.

Oh, and yeah, I am a massive Harley and Ivy fan. Check out Gotham Girls (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gotham_girls) if you want more DCAU-style action starring our favorite femme fatales.

[Nate the Great]

Some things never get old (http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/991218.html)

Another month, another webcomic. Real Life this time. Note the not-so-hidden 42. Oh, and pseudo-PNQ time: which movie is she watching? I want to say...well, I want to say The Empire Strikes Back, but that's clearly wrong. Oh so clearly wrong.

[Nate the Great]

Emergency Geek Hologram (http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/000511.html)

I'm so very, very sorry. I really, REALLY wanted to NOT post two Real Life strips on the same day, really! But when I stumbled across this one, I knew that I just HAD to post it!

Tony: It sort of got me to thinking...
Greg: That's never a good thing.

A sentiment that you're no doubt applying to me right now. ;)

[PointyHairedJedi]

Heh. Now one of those I want. :D

[Chancellor Valium]

Some things never get old (http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/991218.html)

Another month, another webcomic. Real Life this time. Note the not-so-hidden 42. Oh, and pseudo-PNQ time: which movie is she watching? I want to say...well, I want to say The Empire Strikes Back, but that's clearly wrong. Oh so clearly wrong.
The lines would seem to indicate Return of the Jedi. :)

[Nate the Great]

I suppose simple process of elimination would leave Jedi as the last movie standing.

[Nate the Great]

Trekkie vs. Trekker (http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/011213.html)

I've always been pro-Trekkie, so this had to amuse me.

[Nate the Great]

Scotty and Chekov mourn Kirk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CA2ueLsTiPw&feature=related)

A deleted scene from Generations. Although I can see how a simple "Was anyone in here?" "Aye," and pan out to space made more sense structurally, this little scene seems more ... human ("whoever said the human race was logical?") to me. Poor Chekov.

[Nate the Great]

Is this thing just the coolest, or what? (http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/store/news/article/2307183.html)

[PointyHairedJedi]

Second coolest, maybe. I've yet to see anything that could truly top a robot zombie ninja stripper.

[Nate the Great]

The Zelda Dance! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=LR3q5fuDSDw)

I can't find the words to describe this. Just watch and you'll understand.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Toot toot toot toot!

That is to say, at last the universe makes sense. Now who would like a slice of emmental?

[Nate the Great]

Star Trek Alumni in the DCAU (http://nitcentral.philfarrand.com/discus/messages/8181/15571.html?1162084325)

Whoa! I didn't know that so many Trek actors voiced characters in the Batman cartoon and all of its spinoffs. Be amazed, ladies and gentlemen!

[Nate the Great]

So I'm wandering around the Nitcentral archives, and find a page of MSTed Stargate scenes (http://nitcentral.philfarrand.com/discus/messages/1499/8253.html?1205644841). My favorite is:

(Teal'c is telling Ishta of SG-1's exploits)
Teal'c: And then there was a solar flare and we travelled back through time-
Ishta: Time travel is impossible!

Just in case a few of you missed that particular episode, Ishta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishta#Ishta) is a sort of Jaffa Amazon who was also Teal'c's love interest. She's played by Jolene Blalock, also known as T'Pol of Star Trek: Enterprise fame. And we ALL know how much 22nd-century Vulcans hate time travel, don't we? :)

[Nate the Great]

He-he (http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/050425.html)

By the standards of this comic, I'm a weirdo (huge shock, I know). By the way, I own that omnibus book. Great read!

[mudshark]

The Zelda Dance! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=LR3q5fuDSDw)

I can't find the words to describe this. Just watch and you'll understand.
http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g223/mudshark58/smilies/eye-popping.gif

Good God, it looks like one of those ridiculous Benny Lava videos.

Toot toot toot toot!

That is to say, at last the universe makes sense. Now who would like a slice of emmental?
Emmenthal? Any time, really. Wonderful stuff.

Have we had this one (http://www.netdisaster.com/go.php?mode=ufo&destruction=massive&url=http://fiveminute.net) yet?

[PointyHairedJedi]

Emmenthal? Any time, really. Wonderful stuff.
Good stuff. You just run out and buy some, and then we can all have a piece. ;)

[Nate the Great]

That Netdisaster one is quite a cute idea.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Menuhin playing Bach. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG05yLlt_FA)

If he's so talented, then how come he's dead?

[Chancellor Valium]

On a similar theme: Widor's Toccata (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKejfYzB3ak) - but played at closer to the speed Widor himself considered 'correct', which is fairly unusual.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Talented gits, the lot of them.

[mudshark]

We pause now for a message from

the Leonard Nimoy Should Eat More Salsa Foundation (http://web.tampabay.rr.com/lnsemsf/lowres/menu02.htm).

[Chancellor Valium]

Is that like The Save The Spiral Foundation (http://spiralviral.com/)?

[Nate the Great]

PNQ: Where do you people FIND these things? ;)

[Chancellor Valium]

ZOMBO COM, where the only limit...is yourself! (http://www.zombo.com)

[mudshark]

ZOMBO COM! http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g223/mudshark58/smilies/laugh.gif Celeste's favorite.

Zombo came to mind as soon as I saw the savethespiral page.

PNQ: Where do you people FIND these things? ;)
On the Internet -- you may have heard of it.

[Nate the Great]

Ah, Cliched Internet Joke #24. Can't get too many of those.

PNQ: How far can I push the Cliched Internet Joke #X gag before you guys lynch me?

[mudshark]

What time is it?

[PointyHairedJedi]

Half-past lynching o'clock, I believe. ;)

[Chancellor Valium]

Ah, Cliched Internet Joke #24. Can't get too many of those.

PNQ: How far can I push the Cliched Internet Joke #X gag before you guys lynch me?

PNQ: What makes you think that making Cliched Internet Joke #X references in the first instance wasn't a lynching offence?

:)

[Nate the Great]

You may have a point, there. Too bad points are zero-dimensional objects and thus only exist theoretically. :)

[PointyHairedJedi]

My hair respectfully disagrees with you.

[Nate the Great]

That's random...

[Nate the Great]

What I Won't Do When Directing Shakespeare (http://angevin2.livejournal.com/148520.html)

Think of it as the Shakespeare version of the Evil Overlord List. Here are a few of my favorite exerpts (there are 359 rules, and some of you may not want to bother):

5. I will not make actors in battle scenes wear knitted chainmail of a color that makes them resemble not so much a medieval warrior as Winnie-the-Pooh.

36. Keanu Reeves will not be allowed near the production.
Nate: Actually this one confuses me. I liked him in Much Ado About Nothing, really!

50. The "to be" speech should not end with the line "from henceforth shall all my thoughts be bloody."
Nate: Apparently Derek isn't the only one with the dirty mind. :)

296. I will never tell my actors that they don't need to understand the text, they just need to say it.
Nate: Very important. This one isn't even humorous, it's really good advice.

303. I will not present Macbeth with Klingon characterization (no matter how many Trekkies are in the cast).
Nate: You can't appreciate Shakespeare until you've read him in the original Klingon.

321. Any actors should be forbidden from calling anyone "Dude". This also applies to minor characters.
Nate: Aw, dude, that's harsh! ;)

326. I will not costume Henry V in Star Trek uniforms.
Nate: Why Henry V, particularly? (PNQ!)

[Nate the Great]

The following is from a thread over at Nitpicker Central (http://nitcentral.philfarrand.com/discus/messages/5/13916.html?1155363587):

I wonder if, in the holosuite, Garak & Bashir hear the same musical score that we the audience hear?
Garak: The music has changed.
Bashir: Yes. That means trouble is approaching.

Hehe. Oh yeah, another plug for Nitpicker Central. :)

[Nate the Great]

Watch out, it's another PNQ/Link crossover!

The Buttered Cat Paradox! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox)

So, if a cat always lands on its feet, and toast always lands butter-side down, will you get an antigravity effect by strapping a piece of buttered toast to a cat's back and dropping it?

[PointyHairedJedi]

If only I had a cat to test that out.

*Stares speculatively into the distance*

[Nate the Great]

*The distance stares back, nodding toward a cat suit in the corner*

Hehe.

[PointyHairedJedi]

:p

The Magic Pen game (http://magic.pen.fizzlebot.com/). It uses a basic Newtonian physics engine (apparently), and bearing that in mind you have to draw various shapes in order to get a ball from one area to another. Mostly that involves using gravity, but some of them requite some inventive thinking (there are hinges to play with too).

[Nate the Great]

The Play (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Play)

Uh, yeah. This is yet another reason why I don't follow collegiate or professional sports.

[PointyHairedJedi]

And there are so many to begin with. :D

[Nate the Great]

Totally not going there. Sports guys can be fanatics, and if I start a ruckus you may as well start outlining my body in chalk right now. ;)

[Nate the Great]

The Hyrulean Bride (http://www.nintendoland.com/home2.htm?fanfics//zelda/the_hyrulian_bride_1.htm)

A wonderful fanfic that transposes the plot of The Princess Bride to Hyrule. I should note that this one isn't Link/Zelda shipping, it's Link/Malon. Both are okay with me, as noted in my Ocarina of Time fiver (http://www.fiveminute.net/zelda/ocarinaoftime.html):

Malon: Hi Link! When you grow up you can have Epona! By the way, I'm another female character, so of course, I need to flirt with you.
Link: Sounds good to me. Hey, didn't I marry you in a previous game?
Malon: Shhhh! This is the first game chronologically, remember?
Link: Oh, right, sorry.

[Nate the Great]

Oh, a few provisos to the preceding scene. I've had the niggling desire to set the record straight about this stuff for awhile, so I suppose the fanfic gave me an opening.

1. The idea that Malon is based on Marin from The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening is merely a fan theory held by some that I'd picked up online.
2. I've never beaten LA, much less met Marin, so I wouldn't know.
3. The "prior game marriage" thing was a mistake on my part based on circumstantial and extremely flimsy research into the subject material.
4. I still think that the OOT fiver doesn't reflect my best work. Yes, I'm still beating that dead horse.
5. At the time, OOT (as far as I know) was supposed to be the first game chronologically. Now that it's ten years later, the chronology (official or not) seems to put other games before OOT. The Minish Cap, in particular.

[Nate the Great]

The Wizard of Hyrule (http://www.flyingomelette.com/reviews/snes/screens/z3oz.gif)

Just a quick screenshot that I thought was cute.

[Nate the Great]

Best Geek Quotes (http://www.boardofwisdom.com/default.asp?topic=1005&start=1&search=&listowner=Public&listname=Geek)

The second example is the reason why I had to post this link:

"Microsoft: 'You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.'"

The ninth is something I never saw before, but I immediately thought "that is totally an engineer's response!"

"The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be."

The twenty-second seems a little harsh, but I know how much some geeks hate Windows:

"Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows."

The forty-ninth is something I've seen many times, but that doesn't make it any less clever:

"Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive."

The sixty-ninth is another old one that you can't read too often:

"Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false."

And of course, people who've taken chemistry can appreciate the hundred-and-first:

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

[JVTruman]

The sixty-ninth is another old one that you can't read too often:

"Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false."


Wasn't that one originally done with Usenet?

[Nate the Great]

Beats me. You see, I really didn't get into the Internet until 2000 or so. We were fully World Wide Web by that time. In fact, it wasn't until I got into online gaming that I fully understood the barriers that text-only surfing poses, both technical and interactive. That one's an interesting story, having to use IP addresses to connect specifically with one other person in this modern age of instant messengers. Besides, I have no doubt that the joke will be altered and updated every time the major Net interaction method changes.

[Nate the Great]

Click! (http://www.xkcd.net/123/)

A riff on the classic James Bond line "Do you expect me to talk?" using a bit of geek humor. Trust me, it's better than it sounds.

[Nate the Great]

Huh? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103639/trivia)

Well, it IS the Internet Movie Database, so when they say that Patrick Stewart was an early contender for the part of Jafar, but he had to turn it down, much to his regret, I believe it. I try to imagine him as Jafar, and it seems so twisted and yet so right at the same time.

PNQ: Anyone seen him as the villain in the movie Masterminds? Great movie, absolutely brilliant. One line of his that's absolutely great is something like "You know, I'm not a violent man, but I really do think I'm going to have to kill someone."

[Zeke]

The IMDb isn't an unimpeachable source (though this information sounds plausible). There have been some pretty big mistakes on it in the past. It's a problem mostly with articles for upcoming movies, which tend to consist of whatever rumour is submitted to them.

[Nate the Great]

As if you haven't seen enough parody "motivational" posters (http://llbbl.com/data/RPG-motivational/target68.html)

Well, this one is worth it.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Heh, not bad, not at all bad.

[Nate the Great]

Just in case the link goes dead, this one deserves to be described. The "poster" is of a (I think) CG-created redshirt holding a phaser. "Hirelings. When it's just too dangerous to send a real character."

[PointyHairedJedi]

http://trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=55523

Days like today, I'm proud to call myself a nerd.

[Nate the Great]

Huh? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ConversationInTheMainPage?from=Main.Natter)

Yeah, this is a PNQ, but still...

"Bah, soda fizz is easily eliminated by adding ice and letting it melt - hence I never use ice."
"Another nifty trick if you don't like fizz (note that this can only be done with cans...at least, it's only recommended with cans): When you open it, swirl the container. It doesn't matter what direction. After about three seconds, start swirling the other way. Soon enough, there won't be any bubbles left."
"Tapping the lid also helps with more extreme cases, I've found."

Puh-huh? If you don't like bubbles, DON'T buy pop. It's pretty simple. Why PAY for carbonation if you don't want it?

[PointyHairedJedi]

True; if you're that desperate for a fix of teeth rot, just have some sugary water.

[Nate the Great]

I'll bet you like poking sticks at anthills, don't you?

[Nate the Great]

A Stargate Joke (http://nitcentral.philfarrand.com/discus/messages/1499/23223.html?1146426754)

"You are a Goa'uld spy and I claim my ten pounds!"

I forget which game show had the "You are an X and I claim my Y pounds" joke, but this subversion amuses me.

[Zeke]

Back in the day, the Trek shows had the almost unheard-of policy of looking at unsolicited amateur scripts. ("Silicon Avatar" was one of those.) In 1999, near the end of that policy's lifetime, David Hines submitted a VOY script which he's now made available on his LJ (http://hradzka.livejournal.com/tag/screenwriting). Read it and see what you think. I hope to come back to this later in more detail; suffice to say that while it's not my Voyager and the message isn't quite my cup of tea, it's a solid and fascinating fanfic.

[Nate the Great]

So I've read it, and my first response has to be...hallucinotron? Hehehe. Anyway, it's a good story. I can recommend it.

Janis: One time, Tom Paris turned into a newt.
Levesque: A newt?
Janis: He got better.

Good scene, but this is more in the style of a fiver than a Star Trek episode.

Janeway: That is a Wah Chang series neural stimulator.

I love this bit. Wah Chang created a lot of props for The Original Series on a shoestring budget. Read "Inside Star Trek" by Justman and Solow. Seriously, a good read about the inner workings of TOS.

Chakotay: Ever look up the Enterprise-D? Butt of a thousand Maquis jokes? Their holodeck turned on them every week?

THIS is a fiver line. It never would've flown as a televised episode.

[Nate the Great]

The Rules of Cricket (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CricketRules)

Please tell me this isn't what cricket is really like. Please PLEASE tell me it's not really this absurd.

[mudshark]

The Rules of Cricket (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CricketRules)

Please tell me this isn't what cricket is really like. Please PLEASE tell me it's not really this absurd.

It's not really that absurd.



What?

[Chancellor Valium]

Back in the day, the Trek shows had the almost unheard-of policy of looking at unsolicited amateur scripts. ("Silicon Avatar" was one of those.) In 1999, near the end of that policy's lifetime, David Hines submitted a VOY script which he's now made available on his LJ. Read it and see what you think. I hope to come back to this later in more detail; suffice to say that while it's not my Voyager and the message isn't quite my cup of tea, it's a solid and fascinating fanfic.
Personally, I think it was monotonous, poorly written, barely engages with the issues and beats you over the head with it's moralising.

Typical bad-Trek, really...

I also thought it was wrong. Naturally. :p

@Nate: No, that is somewhat exaggerated. Not much, though.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.20q.net/

Multiple versions of Twenty Questions to play online, including Star Trek 20Q!

[Nate the Great]

http://www.fortunecity.com/rivendell/dark/1000/marysue.htm

Supposedly this is the Star Trek fanfic that launched the whole idea of a Mary Sue, written in 1974. Some memes are older than others, I guess...

[Chancellor Valium]

That can't be the real thing. If it's not a parody, my name is Angela Merkel.

[Zeke]

Ever heard of a shaggy dog story?

No? Great. Read this (http://edge.i-hacked.com/so-theres-a-man-crawling-through-the-desert), then punch me for linking it.

[mudshark]

Yep, that's shaggy dog story.

[Chancellor Valium]

E L Wisty from beyond the veil... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kluMPGJO7hI)

[Nate the Great]

http://members.cox.net/djoakes/legoga94.htm

Star Trek LEGO minifigs! They're great!

[Chancellor Valium]

Why Ctrl+Alt+Del is not funny (http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/images/TrilB%5EU.jpg).

I should warn you that this link contains gratuitous violence and strong language.

[Nate the Great]

Would people please stop the CAD bashing? Everything has some brilliant moments and some clunkers. Heck, look no further than my own OOT fiver to see a clunker.

[Chancellor Valium]

Would people please stop the CAD bashing? Everything has some brilliant moments and some clunkers. Heck, look no further than my own OOT fiver to see a clunker.

Err, no? CAD is unadulterated rubbish. There are no brilliant CAD moments. No, actually, it's not fair to say it's unadulterated rubbish. It's lazy and unadulterated rubbish.

Your fivers are not.

[Zeke]

I've read the whole CAD archive, though it took me several tries; a couple of times I got as far as this blatant Simpsons ripoff (http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20021206) and then decided I had better things to do. But if the comic were totally meritless, I wouldn't have kept coming back. It's not a bad comic; it's just average, almost aggressively so. (Of course, it still has the occasional really good one (http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20061011).)

CAD wouldn't be taking so much fire if it weren't on top of the heap. I don't know how it got there, but it is there, and I respect that. Unfortunately, success has gone to Tim Buckley's head, so he keeps drawing even more fire on himself. Of course, smug and/or defensive webcomic creators are nothing unusual. It's that plus the popularity plus the middling quality that get CAD such disproportionate abuse.

(Same reason I used to resent Sev Trek, actually. Popular is one thing; popular and lame is another.)

All that said, some of the mockery of CAD is spot-on (http://www.checkerboardnightmare.com/retro/20060601.shtml).

[Zeke]

In odder news, it seems my ENT parodies came to the attention of some Indonesians (http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Sharif+Dayan%22+lucu-lucuan&hl=en&client=opera&rls=en&filter=0) a while back. The comments are mostly about the episodes themselves rather than the fivers, but if you want to read any of them, this site (http://www.toggletext.com/main.cgi?page=translation) does Indonesian. "Lucu-lucuan" is something to the effect of "funny". (And no, as far as I can tell this guy never credited me or the site.)

[mudshark]

In odder news, it seems my ENT parodies came to the attention of some Indonesians (http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Sharif+Dayan%22+lucu-lucuan&hl=en&client=opera&rls=en&filter=0) a while back. The comments are mostly about the episodes themselves rather than the fivers, but if you want to read any of them, this site (http://www.toggletext.com/main.cgi?page=translation) does Indonesian. "Lucu-lucuan" is something to the effect of "funny". (And no, as far as I can tell this guy never credited me or the site.)
That is interesting. Once upon a time, several years ago, I stumbled across another Indonesian Star Trek site (startrek.or.id, iirc, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to search for it now) which was one of the more well-constructed and thorough Trek references I have ever seen collected all in one place. Then, one day, it just wasn't there any more. Some time later, this Indo-StarTrek.org (http://www.indo-startrek.org/v2/index.htm) appeared, sporting a very similar color scheme and layout, but missing the detailed episode guides and other information which had made the first site special; it was just another fan club site, and the scruples seem to have gone along with the people who had made the other site more than that.

[Nate the Great]

People who hate CAD tend to use controversial aspects of a small portion to taint the rest. People can and have made the same arguments about other webcomics (A Modest Destiny comes to mind), but there's no reason you can't like them either.

[Zeke]

A really good article about narcissism (http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2006/12/if_this_is_one_of_the_sexiest.html) from a psychiatry blog. Be warned: if you're anything like me, some of it will sound worryingly familiar.

[ETA: I see upon further inspecting the blog that narcissism is very much this guy's pet disorder, so bear that in mind. Nothing necessarily wrong with having one, of course; lots of doctors do. It just tends to make them see their favourite malady a bit too readily. The shrink I visited intermittently at UW kept trying to fit me into his favourites.]

[Chancellor Valium]

Fables of Forgotten Things (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A38606790)

Children's TV pilot of a very Doctor Who-esque programme with a strong fantasy element, starring Paul McGann, who played the Eighth Doctor in the TV Movie and various audio dramas. Great direction and some nice writing, if a little short. Enjoy. :)

[Nate the Great]

http://xkcd.com/32/

Another month, another webcomic archive binge. Enjoy!

[MaverickZer0]

xkcd is truly one of the webcomic greats.

<a href="http://xkcd.com/435/">Citing</a> <a href="http://xkcd.com/440/">evidence</a> <a href="http://xkcd.com/386/">for</a> <a href="http://xkcd.com/309/">it</a>.

[mudshark]

I've seen "for" but "evidence" made me laugh.

[Tate]

Uh oh. Quick, someone hide those <a href="http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?p=74045#post74045">before Zeke sees them</a>.
Also hide <a href="http://xkcd.com/409/">this one</a>. :)

[NAHTMMM]

That can't be the real thing. If it's not a parody, my name is Angela Merkel.
Well, yes, it was a parody. (Not that I can vouch for the link, but it looks about like what I've heard about it.) A spot-on parody, I'm sure.


As for webcomics, I've gotten hooked on Savage (http://www.savagechickens.com/2008/09/the-perfect-burger.html) Chickens (http://www.savagechickens.com/2007/11/alpaca.html). :D

[Wowbagger]

Uh oh. Quick, someone hide those <a href="http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?p=74045#post74045">before Zeke sees them</a>.
Also hide <a href="http://xkcd.com/409/">this one</a>. :)

Bah. I still think Zeke'd be a highly successful webcomicist. It'd certainly grow his audience from "people who read TrekToday religiously in 2001."

Plus, if he only had to do one frame, we might get updates more often.

Any Order of the Stick (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0001.html) fans in here? Or, while we're talking about webcomics, Zero Punctuation (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/108-Webcomics)?

[MaverickZer0]

Hell yes on ZP. I'm a video game nerd who likes snarky humour; how could I not like it?

By the way, <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CanadaEh">don't click this link if you're easily distracted.</a>

[Nate the Great]

http://www.retrothing.com/2006/04/izek_sewing_mac.html

A sewing machine that interfaces with a Gameboy? Huh...

[Wowbagger]

Hell yes on ZP. I'm a video game nerd who likes snarky humour; how could I not like it?

By the way, <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CanadaEh">don't click this link if you're easily distracted.</a>

I've destroyed the afternoons of so many of my friends by sucking them into the TVTropes black hole. I am, fortunately, not so foolish to click it myself.

Well... maybe just for five minutes...

*is sucked in*

[ijdgaf]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W_oPVMrx5g&eurl=http://kotaku.com/index.php?refId=5070729">This seemed to want to be posted.</a>

[mudshark]

Heh, that was fun.

[Nate the Great]

A bottle of mustard?

[MaverickZer0]

<a href="http://rvb.roostertooth.com">Since Reconstruction's over...</a>

Y'all might as well get caught up on Red vs Blue. What you can't get there is on YouTube. Don't worry, it's only 100 episodes, two mini-series totalling 9 episodes, 19 episodes of Reconstruction, and 30 or so PSAs. (You don't really need to watch the PSAs to get the rest.) All you really need to understand Reconstruction (which is fantastic) is a couple seasons of Blood Gulch Chronicles and the two mini-series (Out of Mind and Recovery One, in that order).

Why yes, I am pimping RvB everywhere nowadays.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.dilbert.com/animation/

Dilbert strips animated. I suppose you could've guessed that from the address, huh? ;)

[Nate the Great]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am3jcHN1OnQ&feature=related

The Lumberjack Song as performed by Monty Python set to images from Ranma 1/2. It's fun!

[Chancellor Valium]

Moskau buffalaxed (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jH8gtrD4_C4). Lyrics are in places a little... explicit? Perhaps not for the easily upset, or those with taste in music. >.>

[Nate the Great]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=493630

The guys over at the Straight Dope forums are compiling quite the list of geek jokes. If you don't feel like browsing both pages I'll compile the best (in my opinion) here:
------------
f(x) goes into a pub. The landlord says "Sorry, we don't cater for functions".

f '(x) goes into a pub. The landlord says "Sorry, we don't cater for functions". (This may look like the same joke, but it's not; it's derivative humour.)
------------
An engineer walks into a room and spots a fire in a trash can. He runs out, grabs a bucket of water and throws it on the fire.

A physicist walks into a room and spots a fire in a trash can. He calculates the exact amount of water needed to put the fire out, runs out, gets the water and throws it on the fire.

A mathematician walks into a room and spots a fire in a trash can. He calculates the exact amount of water needed to put the fire out, then walks out of the room because the problem is essentially solved.
------------
To an optimist the glass is half full.
To a pessimist the glass is half empty.
To an engineer the glass is twice the size it should be.
------------
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog sked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

[Nate the Great]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXWQIiFxjbc

Vreenak's Big Fake-Out. Just watch, you won't be disappointed, I promise.

[Nate the Great]

http://stargate-sg1-solutions.com/blog/?p=720

It's sad that Daniel Jackson won't be a part of Stargate Universe, but the following quote was great. Regarding a desire to have Vala as well...

“He’s a gun-wielding archeaologist! She’s a hot alien thief! THEY FIGHT CRIME!!!”

[Nate the Great]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuZPY3w_vqs&feature=channel

The Star Trek XI trailer. So, yeah...

[Nate the Great]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMHAZwR-BdQ&feature=related

Apparently someone was irked that Riker keeps sitting on control consoles. Witness the results!

[Nate the Great]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq3dGOFfI5Q&feature=related

Clips of the first actress who was cast as Captain Janeway. You may be interested.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2Zhoesi7cg

Clips from the Star Trek XI trailer set to the Smallville theme song. I'm a big fan of Smallville, so this tickled me.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc4LPZAPHJI&feature=channel

As a longtime fan of the Floating Hands animations, of course this one tickled me. You're gonna love the trick ending.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.dreadgazebo.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=8

The tale of Eric and the Gazebo. I never did any tabletop RPGs, but I have friends who do, so this story amused me.

[Zeke]

Yep, that's a classic. Another of my favourites is the Head of Vecna (http://www.blindpanic.com/humor/vecna.htm). And Al Bruno III has a whole bunch of great RPG-hell stories in his Binder of Shame (http://albruno3.com/page2a.htm). By the way, although I love RPG humour, I've never role-played either -- though I have friends who do, including Sa'ar.

In other news... WHAT DO THEY THINK WILL HAPPEN? (http://granades.com/2008/08/12/things-i-learned-in-japan-about-smoking/)

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Out me as a nerd, why doncha...?

I've never gamed with a group as profoundly stupid as some of those, but I've seen something close.

Then there's the fact my dice hate me...

[Zeke]

Out me as a nerd, why doncha...?

You run the Babylon 5 section of a website. That ship has sailed, my friend.

[PointyHairedJedi]

For the sake of something to post...

http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/retrosciencefiction/

Some of them will have disappeared in the meantime, but there's still some excellent stuff on there.

[Zeke]

It's the Sokumenzu Generator (http://en.genzu.net/sokumen/)! This thing will take a word and show you another word it might look like from the side if the letters were constructed in a certain... well, it's easier just to try it and see.

[mudshark]

<a href="http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/">Daily Mail-O-Matic</a>