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Rayinne
02-26-2005, 09:42 AM
Basically, this is a game where a player makes a wish and it gets ruined, like in the story about the monkey's paw. For example, the first player makes a wish that ENT would continue. Then the second player could do something like "ENT continues for several more years, but it's full of subliminal programming telling everyone to obey the new world dictator." Then the second player makes a wish of his or her own, and so it continues.

I'll start with...

I wish I could use magic.

Ginga
02-26-2005, 09:50 AM
You can use magic, but it can only do sissy things like placing random flowers on people's heads.

I wish I could go to sleep. No seriously, I'm so high on sugar from all that fondue chocolate that I'm wide awake.

Gatac
02-26-2005, 01:37 PM
You go to sleep, but wake up three-thousand years in the future. Everything you love has been outlawed.

I wish I had a bajillion Euros.

Gatac

Celeste
02-26-2005, 02:57 PM
You have a bajillion Euros....in monopoly money! Buaha!

I wish there were more Voyager fivers. Hint hint.

NeoMatrix
02-26-2005, 03:39 PM
There will be more Voyager fivers, but it will be "Soon"

I wish I wasn't sick

Sa'ar Chasm
02-26-2005, 03:42 PM
You're not sick, but in order to not be sick you have to ingest cursed sodium benzoate.

I wish I could go more than five minutes without making a Simpsons reference.

NeoMatrix
02-26-2005, 03:44 PM
It isnt possible for you to make a Simpsons reference because you live in a time before the Simpsons, therefore people think you are crazy.

I wish I could be more like Neo

PointyHairedJedi
02-26-2005, 04:15 PM
You become more like Neo, but you also become more like Keanu Reeves.

Too harsh?

Anyway, I wish I could get a refund for this dead parrot.

NeoMatrix
02-26-2005, 04:47 PM
No you may not get a refund because the parrot was dead when you bought it

I wish I could get a better job

Hotaru
02-26-2005, 08:47 PM
You get a better job, but it's working for Jolene Blalock.

I wish I had a better car.

Ginga
02-26-2005, 08:59 PM
You get a better car, but someone rear-ends it as you shop for Trek DVDs. DX

I wish my research paper would just die so I wouldn't have to do it.

Hotaru
02-26-2005, 09:23 PM
Your research paper dies, but takes you with it.

I wish that my hair was more blue.

richardson
02-26-2005, 09:33 PM
Every hair on your body turns vivid electric blue, leaving you embarrased for the rest of your life.

I wish I could take over the world.

Ginga
02-26-2005, 09:39 PM
You take over the world...

Only after you've killed everyone on it, leaving you painfully alone.


I wonder what will happen if I wish for Janeway to be a real person. *is afraid*

NAHTMMM
02-26-2005, 09:48 PM
Janeway IS a real person.

And so is Picard.

And so is Kirk.

Which last is unfortunate for you because you are in his time, not Janeway's, and you're a redshirt on his Enterprise... :twisted:




I wish I weren't sick. :(

richardson
02-26-2005, 10:17 PM
You're not sick, you're dead.
Sucks to be you it does.


I wish I was a fox..

NeoMatrix
02-26-2005, 10:49 PM
You are a fox, but you are now being chased by hounds

I wish I had more wishes

richardson
02-27-2005, 01:19 AM
You get more wishes, but you die before you can use them.

I wish I had a starship.

MaverickZer0
02-27-2005, 04:12 AM
You have a starship, but the Borg assimilate it and you.

I wish I lived in a video game.

Ginga
02-27-2005, 04:16 AM
You live in a video game, but unfortunately, it's a beta that crashes every other minute. You're fighting glitches all the time, man!

I wish I could be on IRC more.

Xeroc
02-27-2005, 05:43 AM
You can be on IRC all you want, but no one else can, so there's no one to talk to!

I wish I had a really cool computer with all the best memory, CPU, disk space, operating system, and programs!

Opium
02-27-2005, 09:48 AM
You get a computer with all the new gadgets, and a group of hackers uses it as a test subject to test there new alt.KILLCOMPUTERS.deletefiles.shift program.


I get to be in the Phantom of the Opera.

richardson
02-27-2005, 01:40 PM
You are, but you are the disfigured, hideous phantom, and the girl dumps you.

I wish I had uber powers

Celeste
02-27-2005, 04:18 PM
You have uber powers, but the only thing you can do with them is make it rain acid and cause the total anihilation of the WORLD! oh wait, that's pretty good, actualy...

I wish I didn't have to go to work >_<

PointyHairedJedi
02-27-2005, 05:10 PM
You don't have to go to work, but while at home you eat too much pie and develop a fatal allergy.

I want to be... a lumberjack!

Hotaru
02-27-2005, 05:31 PM
You become a lumberjack, but you wear womens clothes and hang out in bars.

I wish I did better on my math exam.

Chancellor Valium
02-27-2005, 07:39 PM
You do better on your maths exam, but then end up wasting the rest of your life on a pathetic quest for the "Number of God".

I wish I wasn't in a cave in the land of the broken-linked flag......

Hotaru
02-27-2005, 09:00 PM
You leave said cave, but your skin instantly becomes burned due to your pasty white skin.

I wish I could sing.

PointyHairedJedi
02-27-2005, 09:31 PM
You become the best singer the world has ever known, but unfortunately no-one actually gets to hear it becuase it puts them instantly to sleep.

I wish I lived in a library!

You become a lumberjack, but you wear womens clothes and hang out in bars.
I thought my wish was supposed to turn out badly?

Opium
02-28-2005, 03:08 AM
You live in a library, but it's a big old musty one and you get allergies and end up with watery eyes so you can't read anything at all.

I wish I could knew morse code.


You are, but you are the disfigured, hideous phantom, and the girl dumps you.

I wish I had uber powers

But...I'm an alto! I'd have to be Meg anyways!

Um...anyways...

richardson
02-28-2005, 03:08 AM
You live in a library, but die when a bookshelf falls on you.

I wish... crap, i wish I had an idea...

Opium
02-28-2005, 03:10 AM
You realize an idea, and then realize you double-posted.

I wish I could knew morse code.

richardson
02-28-2005, 03:12 AM
You learn it, but suddenly can only talk in it, which gets annoying, and you die of lonelyness.

I wish I could become...
An EVIL GENIUS!

NeoMatrix
02-28-2005, 04:15 AM
You become an evil genious, and you create the ultimate weapon that could take over the world. However, you are defeated by Dexter, well actually DeeDee wrecked your lab.

I wish TopHatMan would stop wondering malls

Zeke
02-28-2005, 06:55 AM
Anyway, I wish I could get a refund for this dead parrot.

No you may not get a refund because the parrot was dead when you bought it

Anyone else feel like they just watched Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers do "Who's On First"?

Chalmers: Well, Seymour, it seems we've put together a baseball team, and I was wondering, who's on first, eh?
Skinner: Not the pronoun, but rather a player with the unlikely name of "Who" is on first.
Chalmers: Well that's just great, Seymour. We've been out here six seconds and you've already managed to blow the routine. [storms off, muttering] Sexless freak.

Nan
02-28-2005, 08:13 AM
<snicker>

Z, my man, you should be a comedy writer.

Oh wait...

Flixibixi
02-28-2005, 10:56 AM
I wish TopHatMan would stop wondering malls

This happens, and TopHatMan starts wondering 'Sedna'.



I wish that I could get a computer to go with the copy of Sims 2 which I bought a few weeks ago.

Chancellor Valium
02-28-2005, 12:53 PM
You get given said computer, but drop it, and it blows up.

I wish my llama didn't look so green.......

NeoMatrix
02-28-2005, 05:10 PM
It isn't green, but now you are color blind.

I wish John died more

richardson
02-28-2005, 10:45 PM
John dies more, but you change your name to John and die too.

I wish I could utterly destroy everything!

NeoMatrix
02-28-2005, 11:06 PM
Sorry, someone already made that wish ahead of you. You will have to pick a number and wait in a long line of eternity.

I wish that someday we can all meet up with our friends and our fellow forumgoers in a dreamworld, so we can have fun eating pie while we sleep.

Hotaru
02-28-2005, 11:40 PM
We all meet up in our dreams and eat pie, but the pie tastes bad!

I wish I had an ostrich farm.

richardson
03-01-2005, 12:54 AM
You get it, but your ostriches peck you to death. Ouch.

I wish I had all the money in the world.

Hotaru
03-01-2005, 01:27 AM
You get all the money in the world, yet have nothing to spend it on.

I wish that Ichi would stop being so hyper.

NeoMatrix
03-01-2005, 06:41 AM
Ichy will become dull, and it will annoy you until you become hyper yourself.

I wish my that my wishes don't come true

Opium
03-01-2005, 07:49 AM
Your wishes don't come true, but all the things you really don't want to happen instead.


I wish I was a professional costume designer for famous hot Hollywood movies.

Chancellor Valium
03-01-2005, 01:02 PM
You are a pro costume designer in Holywood, but your designing costumes for CLEANERS!

Ginga
03-02-2005, 12:59 AM
Valium actually made a wish, but it was too hard for us to un-wish, and he killed the game.

:lol:


I wish I had the conclusion to Gateways NOW. Holy cow, I need it NOW. Now now now now now. I can't believe *ANTI-SPOILER SHIELD ACTIVATED!* that ______ went and ______ through the ______ ______ ______

And the SOUP! :D


Oh, _________! You can be so awesomely crazy sometimes! I still can't believe you went ___________ through ____ _______!

richardson
03-02-2005, 01:05 AM
you get the conclusion, but it sucks.

I wish I had a sig-kitty

Ginga
03-02-2005, 01:07 AM
You get a sig-kitty, but it kills you as soon as you put it in your sig.

I wish that I didn't have sore teeth right now.

richardson
03-02-2005, 01:10 AM
you have no teeth at all.

I wish my hair would make up it's mind whether to fall out or stay.

NeoMatrix
03-02-2005, 02:27 AM
You are Captain Kirk, and you lost your toupee

I wish that there was no spoon

richardson
03-02-2005, 02:30 AM
there is no spoons, but lots of sporks attack. ouch. metal ones.

I wish I had a spork army

Xeroc
03-02-2005, 04:37 AM
You have a spork army, but you end up "conquering" some pie that gives all your troops food poisoning.


I wish [this program I'm writing] ran faster.

MaverickZer0
03-02-2005, 04:49 AM
It does, but it runs too fast and your computer explodes.

I wish I could play Minesweeper on my '95.

NeoMatrix
03-02-2005, 05:28 AM
You can, but when you hit a bomb, your computer blows up

I wish I wasn't so bored

Rayinne
03-02-2005, 08:40 AM
You aren't bored because now the Borg have assimilated you, and they don't have such a concept.

I wish to be able to time travel.

NeoMatrix
03-02-2005, 02:08 PM
You do, but you keep running into Admiral Janeway wherever you go.

I wish Spring will get here quicker

PointyHairedJedi
03-02-2005, 08:53 PM
Spring is sprung
The grass is riz
Global Warming will make your eyes go fizz.


I literally wish I literally had a nickel for literally every time someone literally uses "litterally" in a sentence.

NeoMatrix
03-02-2005, 09:37 PM
You do, but people stop saying it

I wish I can think of another wish

richardson
03-02-2005, 09:57 PM
You think of another wish, but immediately forget it.

I wish I had a huge clone army of myself to go around causing general mayhem and to fly my ship!

Xeroc
03-02-2005, 11:20 PM
You do have an army, but since they're all clones, you all get tricked by the same thing and end up all dieing.


I wish this chair wasn't so squeaky.

Flixibixi
03-03-2005, 12:39 AM
It's not so squeaky, but it is a lot more gooey.

I wish I could think of words to put in a...a...word string thingy where lots is said.

richardson
03-03-2005, 02:41 AM
You can't stop blathering.

I wish I could stop blathering.

Hotaru
03-03-2005, 03:03 AM
You stop blathering because your mouth disappears!

I wish that my Grad pictures weren't so bad.

NeoMatrix
03-03-2005, 03:40 AM
Bad News: There was an error on your school records. You need to take one more PE elective. Good news: You get to take your Grad pics again.

I wish women weren't so difficult to deal with

PointyHairedJedi
03-05-2005, 03:25 PM
You start getting on with women just great. Then you realise it was just a hallucination and you've been talking to a desk lamp the whole time, whereupon you are locked up in a nice padded cell. Next door to me.

I wish that people would see Lynch's Dune for the awesome film that it is!

Ginga
03-05-2005, 04:59 PM
People see it, but they come back hating it.

I wish I didn't have to finish my research paper this weekend. *sigh*

Alexia
03-05-2005, 07:37 PM
You get given an extra month to finish the paper, but get given another 10 papers to do as well. And have to present them all to the class. Wearing a carrot suit. And doing the funky chicken dance.

(hee hee, I like this game!)

I wish I had a pet lamb.

Ginga
03-05-2005, 07:40 PM
You have a pet lamb, but it bleats like porn.


:lol:

Chancellor Valium
03-05-2005, 09:05 PM
You make a wish, but as we've been in this position before, everyone puts it down to a time loop, and thinks you're being evil again.....

I wish I had broadband. Free broadband.

Opium
03-05-2005, 11:05 PM
You get free broadband, but it's got a censorship program on it, and the only site you can go to is Barney.


I wish I had a million dollars. In cash. Right now.

richardson
03-05-2005, 11:21 PM
You get it in pennys. Have fun.

I wish I had a FA-22 Raptor.

Xeroc
03-06-2005, 01:03 AM
You get it, but get arrested and thrown in jail for flying without a pilot's license.

richardson
03-06-2005, 01:11 AM
You talk far too much.

I wish I had a pilot's liscence AND a FA-22 raptor (Trying to figure out an incorruptable wish.)

Ginga
03-06-2005, 01:39 AM
You get 'em both.

But you fly over enemy territory by accident because your night vision sucks and you get missle'd.

I actually think of a wish this time!

Naki
03-06-2005, 02:44 AM
You think of a wish but it's just a wish to be able to think of more wishes

i wish my girlfriend hadn't dumped me and that by taking me back i grow happy and marry her,get a good job that pays alot of money(money that is don't stolen, misinvested or destroyed), have a nice life and 2 boys who grow up healthy and have no problems and don't do anything illegal or get in trouble and see over me and my wife when we both die peacefully in our sleep at 95

ha
just try and twist that back on me
go on
I dare you
muwuhahahaha

richardson
03-06-2005, 03:09 AM
In doing all of this, you become a bloodscuking lawyer. Sucks to be you, as despite your living to a ripe old age, everyone spits at your name.

I wish I had a FA-22 raptor, with pilots liscence, and the anti-radar systems working, and the anti-detection paint fully on, and a full compliment of weapons. (I know of a few ways to twist this, but not telling)

Naki
03-06-2005, 04:16 AM
You get all that but forget fuel and your wallet. Your pilot licence is actually a forgery you are no more skilled to fly a plane than a chimp.

I wish for tickets to FoxFest.

Ginga
03-06-2005, 04:30 AM
You get the tickets, but your pet eats them. If you don't have a pet, then a rampaging bear eats them.

I wish people would post in the Person Above You game... :<

Hotaru
03-06-2005, 07:48 AM
Someone posts in the game... but it's me! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I wish I could've thought of something better to do to Ginga.

Opium
03-06-2005, 10:31 AM
You figure out a better thing to do to Ginga, but *deleted by Opium's auto brain censor*


I wish I didn't have an auto brain censor that stopped me from posting inappropriate things.

Alexia
03-06-2005, 01:09 PM
You don't have one, but you post things that are too inappropriate and everyone hates you.

You have a pet lamb, but it bleats like porn.
LMAO :wink: But I don't need a lamb for that :wink: :mrgreen:

I wish I lived somewhere warmer.

PointyHairedJedi
03-06-2005, 01:49 PM
You do, but it's the day side of Mercury.

I wish, I wish, I wish that I didn't have the horrible thought of a McKay/Sheppard 'ship lodged in my brain. :shock:

Chancellor Valium
03-06-2005, 05:33 PM
You magically have this removed, but at the same time end up living the rest of your life back in time, being Trotsky. Have fun with the icepick :wink:

I wish I was a penguin

Alexia
03-06-2005, 06:15 PM
I wish, I wish, I wish that I didn't have the horrible thought of a McKay/Sheppard 'ship lodged in my brain. :shock:

Ahh, you love it :wink: Now shuddup and use your icon :wink:

Um, penguin you say? You are a penguin...that...um...is pink and gets laughed at by all the other penguins. A lot. :twisted:

I wish Voyager had an 8th season.

Ginga
03-06-2005, 06:40 PM
Voyager gets an 8th season, but we come to the horrible conclusion that Chakotay and Seven never break up.

:<

I wish that it could be May right now. :3

NeoMatrix
03-06-2005, 08:05 PM
May never comes for you. Right before May, you go into a coma. You don't wake up until June...2145.

Opium
03-06-2005, 09:25 PM
You don't post a wish, and someone points it out.


I wish I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.

Chancellor Valium
03-06-2005, 09:53 PM
You didn't kill the fish - you killed ME! Oww! That hurt!
I wish Opium's killing me didn't hurt so much..........

Alexia
03-06-2005, 10:11 PM
It was totally painless, but you're still dead :wink:

I wish I was better at making icons.

Ginga
03-06-2005, 10:48 PM
You get better at it...

And then once you finally prove your ability in Photoshop, your computer crashes.

I wish I could HAVE Photoshop in the first place.

Opium
03-06-2005, 11:46 PM
You have Photoshop, but it is so good you spend all your time on it, and eventually never leave your home and end up like Howard Hughes only without the money.


I wish I knew whether this was a romantic crush or a friend crush.

Anonymous
03-07-2005, 02:38 AM
It's an anvil crush.

I wish I wouldn't laugh aloud about the idea of buttered cats (http://www.bash.org/?290466) in the middle of class.

richardson
03-07-2005, 02:40 AM
You instead laugh at the idea of dancing klingon warriors in full armor with tu-tu's on over the armor. Hey, that's not a bad idea for a fiver....

I wish I could get the full starship refit package for my new FA-22...

Breca_Halley
03-07-2005, 02:44 AM
You do get it, but then you realize it was designed by Troi . . . BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I wish I could watch TV uniterrupted.

richardson
03-07-2005, 02:45 AM
You watch tv uninterrupted because you ARE the tv. Sucks to be you.

I wish I could wipe troi out...

Opium
03-07-2005, 02:59 AM
You wipe Troi out, but only because a million Wesley Crusher clones wanted to marry her, and she jumped out an airlock trying to run away from them.


I wish I hadn't spilled some mustard on the table.

richardson
03-07-2005, 03:01 AM
You don't spill SOME mustard, you spill an entire supertanker's worth of it.

I wish I had a photon torpedo or two...

NeoMatrix
03-07-2005, 03:20 AM
You do have some, but Janeway used them to blow up a coffee nebula

I wish there was a 5mv convention

Hotaru
03-07-2005, 04:15 AM
There is a 5MV convention, but Zeke decides to hold it "soon".


I wish my car door wasn't broken.

NeoMatrix
03-07-2005, 05:16 AM
It will be fixed soon, but your mechanic is Zeke.

I wish for absolutely nothing

Opium
03-07-2005, 06:04 AM
You get nothing. Ever again. You end up not being able to get anything at all, except week-old Tim Horten's Nanaimo bars.


I wish my parents would get a better second car...possibly one that didn't stall.

Alexia
03-07-2005, 08:16 AM
You have Photoshop, but it is so good you spend all your time on it, and eventually never leave your home and end up like Howard Hughes only without the money.
That pretty much describes how I am now :wink:

You get a better car, but you crash it pulling out of the driveway and totally right it off.

I wish weekends were 5 days.

Opium
03-07-2005, 08:21 AM
Weekends are 5 days, but weeks are now 365 days long.


I wish I could rent videos and DVD's for free.

Flixibixi
03-07-2005, 11:43 AM
Done, but the only entertainment devices you have are a VCD player and a Betamax VCR.

I wish I owned a Nintendo DS.

Opium
03-07-2005, 12:20 PM
You own a Nintendo DS, but only have Original Nintendo games.



I wish I had a CD player in my car.

Chancellor Valium
03-07-2005, 01:41 PM
You have a CD player in your car, but you accidentally traded it for the wheels.....

I wish I didn't have to wish......

Xeroc
03-08-2005, 02:02 AM
You don't have to! But then you don't ever get anything!


I wish my antivirus software was perfect and invulnerable to viruses and spyware!

richardson
03-08-2005, 02:36 AM
Now you can't access the internet at all, because there is spyware everywhere.

I wish my computer didn't crash, explode, die horribly, get a virus, stop letting me play games, slow down, uber overclock, break down, ect, ect, not even get the slightest software glitch despite staying up to date and being used constantly for gaming. THe latest games that is.


The perfect wish, at long last.

Opium
03-08-2005, 02:45 AM
You have the perfect computer, but trip over a cord, and pour pop all over it, thereby shorting it out and ruining it.



I wish my cell phone was a camera cell phone.

richardson
03-08-2005, 02:47 AM
It is, but you get arrested for having a camera in a restricted zone of area 51.

I wish I could get on the premisises of area 51.

Opium
03-08-2005, 03:00 AM
You get into Area 51, but Quark is still there.



I wish everyone got my DS9 references.

Chancellor Valium
03-08-2005, 10:50 AM
Everyone does, but they try to ignore you in the hope that you'll stop.

I wish I wasn't so tactless......

richardson
03-08-2005, 09:01 PM
You're turned into a lawyer.

I wish I could get my head cleared of lawyers.

Chancellor Valium
03-08-2005, 09:18 PM
you get your head clear of lawyers but as a result are forever indebted to ME!

I wish I wasn't so obsessed with turning richardson :roll:

richardson
03-08-2005, 09:34 PM
You become obsessed with joining my side now. Join the foxies, Valium. it is your DESTINY!

I wish I could convert chancelor valium to my side of the force, the fox side.

NeoMatrix
03-09-2005, 03:38 AM
You do, but then everyone votes for him to be the leader

I wish I knew what women were thinking

Opium
03-09-2005, 10:24 AM
You know what women are thinking. :D


I wish I knew why some people take silly jesting and turn into really rude insults.

Chancellor Valium
03-09-2005, 10:50 AM
You find out, but then decide that it sounds fun, and start doing it yourself!

I wish richardson would give up the fox side: richardson, join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as CEOs

richardson
03-09-2005, 10:25 PM
I join you, but kill you quickly and end your dreams.

I wish I could annialate the daft side and turn valium to my side. And keep my positon.

Chancellor Valium
03-10-2005, 04:19 PM
You succeed, but the insidious daft side has taken on the form of your institution, and, at the last moment, you realise that you have annihilated the fox side instead! bwahaha!

I wish richardson could spell X_x

PointyHairedJedi
03-10-2005, 05:22 PM
richardson can spell, and he turns you into a frog; subsequently you get made into Dried Frog Pills.

I wish I was the Fish Who Could Wish.

richardson
03-10-2005, 09:13 PM
yeah, you're fish and you wish, but you get eaten all the same in a day.

I wish the fox side would be impervious to the daft side without the daft side taking it over, and without my loosing my position, and valium gets the boot out of the universe because he's competing with my evil plans.

Chancellor Valium
03-11-2005, 10:12 AM
It happens, but I buy a return ticket first, come back and threaten the fox side with endlessly recycling "knock knock" jokes.

I wish richardson would realise the uselessness of the fox side's vain attempts to resist the daft side!

PointyHairedJedi
03-11-2005, 06:04 PM
He does, but you also realise the whole thing is completely silly and you both never mention anything to do with either side ever again. Ever. :P

I ewish I could go back in time to 1773 and prevent that horrible senseless waste of tea in Boston.

Chancellor Valium
03-11-2005, 09:03 PM
You try it, but are killed for supporting our side.

I wish I were an emperor, especially if some "moisten bint" would lob a scimitar at me :mrgreen:

KillerGodMan
03-28-2005, 04:26 AM
You become an emperor, but the scimitar lobbed at you goes through your head.

I wish my Geography project get's a 4+

NeoMatrix
03-29-2005, 07:25 AM
You did so well on the project that you wet yourself

I wish it was moving day already

AKAArzosah
03-29-2005, 10:49 AM
moving day is here, but it upsets the gravitational pull of the earth and the moon lands on you, destroying all life in your neighbourhood.


I wish I was on the Andromeda Ascendant.

PointyHairedJedi
03-29-2005, 12:27 PM
You are, but Tyr promptly pushes you out the nearest airlock when you accidently annoy him.

I wish I could write fivers faster.

NeoMatrix
03-29-2005, 02:15 PM
You do, but they aren't as funny.

I wish I knew why AIM is crashing

stripysox
03-29-2005, 03:20 PM
You do, but that knowledge is so overwhelming that your brain explodes.

I wish I could visit Colorado.

Rayinne
03-29-2005, 06:18 PM
You visit Colorado, and have a great time! You even go mountain climbing and see an eagle! Then the eagle goes on your head, and you can't see the next hand hold, and fall to your doom.

I wish for a big explosion, nowhere near me.

PointyHairedJedi
03-29-2005, 08:24 PM
A star goes nova on the other side of the galaxy, but by the time the light reaches earth you are long dead and so can't appreciate it anyway.

I wish my computer would behave itself.

Chancellor Valium
03-30-2005, 04:48 PM
It does, but it also starts trying to mate with your dog.

I wish I wasn't stuck in a cave.........

PointyHairedJedi
03-30-2005, 10:52 PM
You exit the cave, but a passerby mistakes you for Osama Bin Laden and the entire US armed services show up and proceed to give you a damn good thrashing.

I want to run away and join the circus.

It does, but it also starts trying to mate with your dog.
I have a dog?? :shock:

Zeke
03-31-2005, 12:02 AM
Come on -- with so many personalities, what are the odds they're all human?

Chancellor Valium
03-31-2005, 12:19 AM
Come on -- with so many personalities, what are the odds they're all human?
:shock: :?:

NAHTMMM
03-31-2005, 02:18 AM
Zeke's talking to PHJ. Or possibly to PHJ or maybe PHJ. To whichever of PHJ's personalities it is that happens to be in "control" when he reads Zeke's message. ;)

Scooter
03-31-2005, 06:03 AM
I want to run away and join the circus

The circus turns out to be under the control of the Gods of Ragnarok, and you are forced to juggle till you die

I wish that the following complication to my wish, about to be posited by a wish-complicator, should not affect me adversely in any way

(hmmm--wait, what?)

Hotaru
03-31-2005, 06:16 AM
This doesn't affect you adversely in any way, 'cause you die before it can happen.


I wish my family wasn't so boring.

PointyHairedJedi
03-31-2005, 09:12 AM
Come on -- with so many personalities, what are the odds they're all human?
What are the odds that any of us are human? ;)

Scooter
03-31-2005, 09:42 AM
I wish my family wasn't so boring.

Your family becomes extremely interesting evangelists of the Church of Cooking and Mowing the Lawn Naked (Scientist).


I wish that there may never again be any more overblown Robin Williams performances in animated movies.

Scooter
03-31-2005, 09:47 AM
What are the odds that any of us are human? ;)

WESLEY
As soon as I realized it was a
trick question, there was only
one answer.


MORDOCK
Yes. There is only one set of odds
that any of us are human. One to one.

PointyHairedJedi
03-31-2005, 04:46 PM
WESLEY
Ahhhh! You spoke it's name! I feel all... unclean now.

:P

Chancellor Valium
04-01-2005, 02:25 AM
WESLEY
Ahhhh! You spoke it's name! I feel all... unclean now.

:P
Hmmm........I think we have a weakness here :twisted:

stripysox
04-01-2005, 12:10 PM
I wish that there may never again be any more overblown Robin Williams performances in animated movies.

You don't, because he falls madly in love with you, becomes your stalker and doesn't have any more time to make movies.

I wish my CD burner was working properly!

Chancellor Valium
04-01-2005, 02:38 PM
He is, and, just for good measure, he torches the rest of your stuff as well.

I wish there was no hard-plastic coverings on things, which are hellish to get off.

NeoMatrix
04-01-2005, 07:22 PM
Everything you buy now is in a million pieces

I wish for it to stop raining today

Chancellor Valium
04-02-2005, 12:10 AM
It does. And then, inexplicably, the whole of America sinks as a result of the lack of rain today causing a truly inexplicable chain of events which leads to Lichtenstein being the dominant country in the world.

Edith: I wish I had force powers

Rayinne
04-02-2005, 12:38 AM
You get force powers. Everyone gets force powers! Then, mass chaos erupts, leaving us digital beings to restore order through brutal dictatorship!

I wish I had stuff to do.

Chancellor Valium
04-02-2005, 12:43 AM
You do. YOu have so much, you drown in it.

I wish that only I had force powers.

KillerGodMan
04-04-2005, 12:15 AM
You become the only one with force powers, then every Jedi in the universe kills you because you stole their Jedi powers

I wish I was Immortal

NeoMatrix
04-04-2005, 04:23 AM
You become Immortal, but everyone you love grows old and dies, then you become lonely and want to die, but you can't.

I wish for peace

Xeroc
04-04-2005, 04:29 AM
Peace happens, but because a dictator conquers the world and there isn't anyone else to fight with.


I wish I had software from the future.

KillerGodMan
04-04-2005, 10:43 AM
You get future software, but it destroys your computer, and goes on the internet and destroys every computer in the world

I wish I had a PSP

Anonymous
04-04-2005, 07:58 PM
You manage to get one, but it steals your soul and runs away with your toaster, leaving you an empty husk of a human being, doomed to forever roam the world searching for the Toasted English Muffin of Happiness, which doesn't actually exist anyway.

I wish the voices in my head would leave me alone for five minutes.

stripysox
04-04-2005, 10:47 PM
The do leave you alone, you can hear yourself think. Unfortunately you can't deal with your disturbing thoughts so you end up in a room with soft walls. Even more unfortunatly, they are a bit too soft. So soft and confortable. You fall alseap leaning against the wall and the attendent takes you for dead. Next thing you know you wake up buried in antarctica.

I wish Dangermouse was on TV right now. In fact, I wish there was anything good on TV right now.

Hotaru
04-04-2005, 11:03 PM
Good things do come on TV, just as your TV decides to die.


I wish that FFXI wasn't down for maintanence.

Chancellor Valium
04-05-2005, 12:39 AM
It isn't - your ill in a maximum security five-star restaurant.

I wish I could mod things........

Opium
04-05-2005, 12:57 AM
You can mod things, but everyone else can, and there are mod wars, and the site ends up in a mess of wierd posts proclaiming which mod is best, and Zuke wins. :D


I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.

PointyHairedJedi
04-05-2005, 11:34 AM
You go back in time and prevent your past self killing said fish, but this sets up a temporal paradox and you end up destroying the very fabric of reality. And all over a fish. Boy, I bet you feel silly now, eh?

I wish I had a pet Cyberman.

Chancellor Valium
04-05-2005, 05:24 PM
You do, but it decides that masters are irrelevant.

I wish I had a TARDIS.........

KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 01:09 AM
You get one, but Doctor Who, wanting it back, kills you for it

I wish I was an English Muffin that nobody wold eat

Xeroc
04-06-2005, 01:12 AM
You have one nobody would eat beacuse it's MOLDY!


I wish I could type at lightning speed!

KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 01:16 AM
You can, but then your computer explodes because of the high speed it wasn't built for

I wish for a wish

Xeroc
04-06-2005, 01:19 AM
Sorry, you just used it right there. :)


I wish I could connect with machines with my mind, voluntarily, of course.

KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 01:20 AM
you can, but when you do, you get kidnapped by your computer and corrupted by a stray virus

I wish I was a foot

Xeroc
04-06-2005, 01:22 AM
Okaaaaaay... but you can't do anything, as you have no brain now.


I wish the next version of windows would come out now.

KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 01:26 AM
it does, but it's so buggy, it explodes

I wish it was Pie Day

Xeroc
04-06-2005, 01:31 AM
Here you go!

pi =
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375 10582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706
79821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081 28481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381
96442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190 91456485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412
73724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364 36789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160
94330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185 48074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949
12983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217 98609437027705392171762931767523846748184676694051
32000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178 72146844090122495343014654958537105079227968925892
35420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099 60518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318
59502445945534690830264252230825334468503526193118 81710100031378387528865875332083814206171776691473
03598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957 78185778053217122680661300192787661119590921642019
89380952572010654858632788659361533818279682303019 52035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131
51557485724245415069595082953311686172785588907509 83817546374649393192550604009277016711390098488240
12858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837 44944825537977472684710404753464620804668425906949
12933136770289891521047521620569660240580381501935 11253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922
79678235478163600934172164121992458631503028618297 45557067498385054945885869269956909272107975093029
55321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753 56636980742654252786255181841757467289097777279380
00816470600161452491921732172147723501414419735685 48161361157352552133475741849468438523323907394143
33454776241686251898356948556209921922218427255025 42568876717904946016534668049886272327917860857843
83827967976681454100953883786360950680064225125205 11739298489608412848862694560424196528502221066118
63067442786220391949450471237137869609563643719172 87467764657573962413890865832645995813390478027590
09946576407895126946839835259570982582262052248940 77267194782684826014769909026401363944374553050682
03496252451749399651431429809190659250937221696461 51570985838741059788595977297549893016175392846813
82686838689427741559918559252459539594310499725246 80845987273644695848653836736222626099124608051243
88439045124413654976278079771569143599770012961608 94416948685558484063534220722258284886481584560285
06016842739452267467678895252138522549954666727823 98645659611635488623057745649803559363456817432411
25150760694794510965960940252288797108931456691368 67228748940560101503308617928680920874760917824938
58900971490967598526136554978189312978482168299894 87226588048575640142704775551323796414515237462343
64542858444795265867821051141354735739523113427166 10213596953623144295248493718711014576540359027993
44037420073105785390621983874478084784896833214457 13868751943506430218453191048481005370614680674919
27819119793995206141966342875444064374512371819217 99983910159195618146751426912397489409071864942319
61567945208095146550225231603881930142093762137855 95663893778708303906979207734672218256259966150142
15030680384477345492026054146659252014974428507325 18666002132434088190710486331734649651453905796268
56100550810665879699816357473638405257145910289706 41401109712062804390397595156771577004203378699360
07230558763176359421873125147120532928191826186125 86732157919841484882916447060957527069572209175671
16722910981690915280173506712748583222871835209353 96572512108357915136988209144421006751033467110314
12671113699086585163983150197016515116851714376576 18351556508849099898599823873455283316355076479185
...

Oh, you did say pi day, right?


I wish I had incredibly fast math skills.

KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 02:03 AM
you do, but your other skills drop to preschool level, uncluding speach

KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 02:03 AM
you do, but your other skills drop to preschool level, uncluding speach

I wish I was a brain in a jar

Chancellor Valium
04-06-2005, 11:48 AM
You are. In a jar of FORMALDEHYDE! Y'see, the jar is part of a new Damien Hirst exhibition

I wish I actually had a clue about who most modern actors/actresses/superstars were/are..................

richardson
04-06-2005, 10:16 PM
You do, but you die from too much horrible info.

I wish I was a foxth lord of destruction and chaos! :twisted:

Chancellor Valium
04-07-2005, 12:34 AM
You do, but he kills you and takes on the mantle of Ever-So-Slightly-Neurotic-Lord Of The Foxth.

I wish I knew when to jettison a joke......

NeoMatrix
04-07-2005, 03:31 AM
You do, but everyone is asleep

I wish I could be a woman for a day just to experience what it is like.

stripysox
04-07-2005, 10:25 PM
You are and somehow you manage to get impregnated.

I wish my finger would stop throbbing. Ow.

Chancellor Valium
04-08-2005, 12:35 AM
It does. The rest of your body, however, throbs constantly
I wish I wasn't having trouble typing right now........

Opium
04-08-2005, 01:53 AM
You don't have trouble typing because your keyboard breaks down, and you can no longer communicate on-line.


I wish I knew more about lighting boards.

Chancellor Valium
04-08-2005, 02:09 AM
You do...until one falls on you, causnig you severe brain damage.

I wish the world was a good and happy place

NeoMatrix
04-08-2005, 04:25 AM
Everyone moves to Mars

I wish I could find a good hobby

PointyHairedJedi
04-08-2005, 06:25 PM
You do, but it involves jumping up and down on landmines to see if they work.

I wish I could read really really quickly.

NeoMatrix
04-09-2005, 04:38 AM
You do, but the mines don't wait to be read before they go BOOM!

I wish I could never forget anything

richardson
04-09-2005, 02:18 PM
Your head explodes because you remember too much.

I wish I could do something evil.

NeoMatrix
04-10-2005, 02:49 AM
You become so evil, that even the Dark Side wants to join you. The bad news, you can never fall in love ever again, mainly because your evilness is too powerful for anyone to get close to you and live.

I want to be able to become invisible

danieldoof
04-10-2005, 09:07 AM
hey..who was saying that??


I hope to someday meet john and tophatman and play table tennis with them

richardson
04-10-2005, 12:47 PM
You become so evil, that even the Dark Side wants to join you. The bad news, you can never fall in love ever again, mainly because your evilness is too powerful for anyone to get close to you and live.


you say that like it's a bad thing... :lol:



You play your game of table tennis, but the ball hits you in the head and your head gets blown off.


I wish I had a non-exploding, working lightsaber. (I'm not stupid enough to cut body parts off, I know how to hold a sword.)

Chancellor Valium
04-11-2005, 11:33 AM
you do, but it comes with the wrong recharging plug type, and you can't get a converter..........

KillerGodMan
04-11-2005, 11:41 AM
You do, but then it kills you

I wish for Prime-Ministership

PointyHairedJedi
04-13-2005, 05:05 PM
You get elected Prime Minister. Then you wake up the next morning to discover you look like Tony Blair.

I wish there was someone actually worth voting for in the coming General Election.

NeoMatrix
05-06-2005, 02:56 PM
There is, but Tony Blair still wins somehow

I wish I can think of a wish

Opium
05-06-2005, 09:40 PM
You think of a wish, but it's drowned out by all the political talk.

I wish I could go somewhere without hearing about politics.

Xeroc
05-08-2005, 08:08 PM
You live in a ruthless dictatorship.


I wish for a million non-twisted wishes!

NeoMatrix
05-09-2005, 06:01 AM
You run out of things to wish for, but the genie keeps begging you to make more wishes. That is when you accidently wished the genie to go away

I wish for a wish checker before submitting wishes

Chancellor Valium
05-09-2005, 05:00 PM
You have one, but it comes in a hard plastic cover, and you can't get it off.
I wish I was Prime Minister, with a parliamentary lead of 200 seats.........

NeoMatrix
05-10-2005, 03:28 AM
You get your wish, but someone else wished to be a Prime Minister assassin.

I wish for some plastic cover remover so I can open this wish checker

Chancellor Valium
05-10-2005, 05:09 PM
You do, but it's shaped like a nude woman, and your wife hates you forever for buying it.....

NeoMatrix
05-11-2005, 12:57 AM
The nude woman plastic cover remover is actually yours, plus you forgot that it was actually your wife that left you.

I wish for unlimited pie for everyone

Xeroc
05-15-2005, 01:50 AM
We eat it all, and you don't have a chance at any.


I wish -- To Rule The Universe!

Anonymous
05-15-2005, 12:34 PM
You become an astronomical parallax detector, and spend your life "ruling" the universe.

I wish I had an original name.

Xeroc
05-20-2005, 11:53 PM
You are the only one ... at all!


I wish, there was a way for me to be able to control reality with my thoughts!

NeoMatrix
05-27-2005, 03:00 AM
you do, but someone ticks you off and your bad thought brings chaos to your reality.

I wish there was no way to get fat, no matter how much you eat

Opium
05-27-2005, 10:39 AM
There is a substance invented that prevents you from getting fat no matter how much you ate, but it has the reverse effect of making you too thin and bony and have no energy and all you can do is lie around all day and watch TV and eat.

I wish I could think of a good wish that didn't involve being coherent.

Xeroc
05-30-2005, 02:34 AM
You can, but then nothing you say is coherent.


I wish ... ... ... ... for a wish!

NeoMatrix
05-30-2005, 02:02 PM
You are now Captain Kirk

I wish this week will go by smoothly and fast

Xeroc
05-31-2005, 01:10 AM
It does, but next week is hell.


I wish - for the best computer in the world!

persianmouse
05-31-2005, 05:38 AM
Granted, but it will try to take over the world, and there will be an epic war of man against machine, billions will die.

I wish for a 24-hour Falafel Hut to be built on my block.

Opium
05-31-2005, 06:15 AM
One is, but it plays "It's A Small World After All" all the time, blasting the music around the block.


I wish I had a question to my answer.

persianmouse
05-31-2005, 06:40 AM
you do, it's "What's seven times six?"

I wish I had a pet wallaby.

Opium
06-01-2005, 03:49 AM
You have a pet wallaby, but it eats your entire house.


I wish I had another doggy!

Xeroc
06-01-2005, 04:58 AM
It's an eeeevil doggy.


I wish I could predict the future!

persianmouse
06-01-2005, 05:35 AM
You can, but find it's only the past, repeating over and over again.

I wish I was named Binky Rococo Juanita Baba-Dashia.

Opium
06-02-2005, 01:11 AM
Binky Rococo Juanita Baba-Dashia is your new name, but it turns out to contain 12 foriegn curse words, and no one will talk to you.


I wish that floresent light bulbs did not hum so much.

NeoMatrix
06-03-2005, 05:38 AM
They stop humming, but now they sing "It's A Small World" all the time

I wish you could all come to my wedding

persianmouse
06-03-2005, 06:24 AM
We will, but we will all get drunk, try to go fishing in the coy pond, hit on your 14-year old neice, fall down on your cake, punch the DJ, do an impromtu strip-tease, and steal your granmas oxygen tank.

I wish I had a prenensile tail.

Opium
06-03-2005, 10:27 AM
You get a tail, but you also turn into an alien tadpole unaware of even existing.


I wish nailpolish didn't chip so easily.

Xeroc
06-04-2005, 12:19 AM
It never comes off!


I wish the we had more smileys!

Opium
06-04-2005, 02:11 PM
We get more smileys, but they are all of Paris Hilton trying to act out the emotions. :twisted:


I wish I had another little fish.

persianmouse
06-04-2005, 10:36 PM
You do, but it's that kind of little South American fish that burrows up your uretha and starts eating your insides. (True Story, man)

I wish I was taken away to wizard school at age 11, just like in Harry Potter.

Opium
06-05-2005, 02:59 PM
You are taken to Wizarding School, but it's run by Kathy Lee Gifford. :twisted:


I wish that Book-canon Snape was as cool as Movie-Canon Snape.

Chancellor Valium
06-14-2005, 08:52 PM
He is, but he's played by Anthony Ainley.

I wish someone else had script edited the new series of DW to make it more dramatic.

Xeroc
06-17-2005, 01:27 AM
They did, but they weren't used!


I wish I could invent the new internet.

persianmouse
06-17-2005, 05:08 AM
You do, but it's just like the old internet, in that's it's nothing but porno and Star Trek sites.

I wish I had some pie right now.

Xeroc
06-17-2005, 05:49 AM
It's lead pie.


I wish I had more money than is possible to spend.

persianmouse
06-17-2005, 06:58 AM
Mo' money, mo' problems.

I wish 'The Man' would stop keeping me down.

Xeroc
06-17-2005, 07:06 PM
He does, but then "They" start keeping you down.

Chancellor Valium
06-17-2005, 08:48 PM
You think of a wish, and that wish is that you wish you weren't depressed. You're Marvin.


I wish people would stop whinging about me bcos I'm keeping them down. I mean, I'm the man! It's my job!

persianmouse
06-18-2005, 06:42 PM
They do stop whining, but it's only because you have been overhtrown as 'The Man', and now spend your days crawling around on the street, begging for bread. 'The Man' is now Corey Feldman.

I wish I didn't have that Chinese food last night.

Opium
06-19-2005, 03:42 AM
You don't have Chinese food. Instead, you call Opium a "he" in person and face the Wrath of Opium. :twisted:

(although someone would have to be very blind and deaf to not realize I am female in person...I mean, seriously. Online it is harder, because, hey, I have an androgynous screenname and an avvy of some dude in a top hat)


I wish I hadn't painted my bathroom today. Such a headach!

NAHTMMM
06-19-2005, 04:00 AM
Your bathroom is upset at the lack of attention and retaliates by painting YOU. :twisted:



I wish that more people were in chat right now.

Xeroc
06-19-2005, 04:59 AM
They are, but you aren't!


I wish to wash wishy-washy wash while I'm washing wishes.
(Say that 5 times fast!)

Opium
06-20-2005, 01:54 AM
You sprain your tongue sayng that, and can not talk for two weeks.


I wish I liked my birthdays.

persianmouse
06-20-2005, 04:50 AM
You do, but then you never ever have any very merry UN-birthdays, and there are so very many more of them.

I wish Quentin Tarantino would be allowed to do the next Star Trek flick.

Chancellor Valium
06-20-2005, 11:10 AM
He does, but due to extremem violence, only those over 90 can watch....

persianmouse
06-20-2005, 11:54 AM
Not wishing anything won't work, you are still doomed with much doomity-doom-doom.

I wish the dodo wasn't extinct.

Xeroc
06-21-2005, 01:17 AM
They run over the world!


I wish for a very functional and nice spaceship.

persianmouse
06-22-2005, 05:41 AM
You get it, except it's the NX-01, your the enginneer, it's 2161, and some blue guy and his kid just came on board....so you about to die, my brother.

I wish Captain Jack Sparrow would come and kidnap me away.

Opium
06-22-2005, 06:19 AM
He does, but he then sees me, falls in love, and drops you off at the nearest pirate bar. :twisted:


I wish Orlanda Bloom would be in a play with me.

persianmouse
06-22-2005, 07:21 AM
Orlanda Bloom (Orlando Bloom's evil twin sister) is in a play with you, but she's a total bitch, cuts down your lines, steals your make-up, and tells her twin that you have herpes, so he never asks you out (and he thought you were cute too, but the herpes...)

I wish I had been in one of the LOTR movies.

Chancellor Valium
06-22-2005, 07:58 AM
You were. As Tom Bombadill :twisted:

I wish I could make the whole UNIVERSE see three........MWAHAHAA!

Opium
06-24-2005, 09:06 AM
You make the whole universe see three, but they get so sick of seeing three of you, they send you back in time, where you lose your powers, and it never happens, and you are stuck as a Dark Ages rug beater.


I wish that book hadn't fallen on my head. Ow!

persianmouse
06-24-2005, 04:50 PM
The book doesn't fall on your head, but rather on the tiny kitten behind you, killing it instantly. Congratulations, a precious little kitten has died, to spare you minor pain. Kitten killer.

I wish I had some cotton candy right now.

Hotaru
06-24-2005, 05:28 PM
You have your cotton candy, however it is sheep flavoured. Mmmmm, sheep.

I wish my truck was blue.

persianmouse
06-24-2005, 09:34 PM
Your truck is blue, but is was painted with housepaint, so now whereever you go, people will think you are ghetto and/or white trash.

I wish it wasn't so damn hot.

Opium
06-25-2005, 10:42 AM
Instead of being hot, it gets to be just one temperature all year long, about 10C (50F) and it rains all the time, just like Prince Rupert... :twisted:

I wish that I would get a pretty, fuel-efficient, comfy, safe, mechanically sound, free car that runs well and has HP of at least 150.

NeoMatrix
06-26-2005, 03:24 AM
It runs well...with your feet (like the Flintstones)

I wish I wasn't sore from playing Volleyball

Xeroc
06-26-2005, 05:58 AM
You are now not sore because you can't feel anything!


I wish for a terabyte hard drive.

persianmouse
06-26-2005, 07:37 AM
Fine, but it calls itself HAL (and you know that aien't ending good).

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. :(