The Dicer is Coming!

[Nate the Great]

Entry Two, "Solitudes"

(Daniel and Teal'c fall out of Stargate)
HAMMOND: Where are Jack and Sam?
TEAL'C: They must have taken wrong turn somewhere.

No mention of Albuquerque? I would've referenced Weird Al AND Bugs Bunny given this opportunity.

TEAL'C: We were under fire. They were right behind us.
TECHNICIAN: You broke the Stargate. It'll take a few days to fix it.
HAMMOND: Bummer.

There should've been a voided warranty joke in here somewhere. Given a little more time I think I could've come up with something more Hammond-esque than "bummer" as well.

O'NEILL: Where are we?
CARTER: In some kind of ice cavern. I can't find Daniel or Teal'c. Oh,
and you broke your leg.
O'NEILL: Bummer.
CARTER: Here's the DHD. It's frozen in a block of ice!
O'NEILL: Double bummer.

The last line should've been "And me without my Fire Arrows." Who cares if it's a relatively obscure Zelda joke, it would've made me smile.

HAMMOND: We'll see if they're on that planet you were on.
TECHNICIAN: The probe was blown up as soon as it got there!
HAMMOND: Bummer.
TEAL'C: Indeed.

Seriously, Past Nate, knock it off with all the bummers!

DANIEL: Due to technobabble, they must be on one of these planets.
HAMMOND: Start searching.

CARTER: I've uncovered the DHD. I'm trying it now.

DANIEL: Why did the room start shaking?

There's a milkshake joke in here somewhere.

CARTER: It's not working!
O'NEILL: Take the supplies and climb out.
CARTER: I won't leave you!
O'NEILL: That's an order.
CARTER: OK.

Zzzzzz.....

HAMMOND: We've searched all of the planets. Time to give up.
DANIEL: Wait a minute! There must be a second Stargate! That's what was
making the ground shake! They're here on Earth!
HAMMOND: Why didn't you figure this out earlier?
DANIEL: We had to fill an hour.
TECHNICIAN: The earthquake came from Antarctica.
HAMMOND: OK, lets go rescue them just before they freeze to death.

The ever classic "we had to fill an hour"/Idiot Plot joke.

CARTER: It's an ice planet! We're doomed!
HAMMOND: No you're not!
CARTER: Where did you come from?
HAMMOND: Who knows? We only had five minutes left.

A few too many "five minute" jokes in this one.