5MV Update History

maintained by Zeke

SEPTEMBER 2004

September 1

As promised, here's Part 3 of the eTrektion saga is here: TJI #43, "New candidates enter eTrektion race." The candidate profiles will begin when I get back from Waterloo; Kira will keep you plenty busy till then. By the way, for the record, the eTrektion isn't happening in real time, because it's obviously going to run into the real ENT Season 4. Think of it as an Elseworlds tale, or a Hypertime story, or a What If? issue. Or, if you can't handle the joy that is comics, an alternate timeline. Wimp.

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September 2

Kira here, bringing another fiver in celebration of TOS Season 1 being released on DVD: Five-Minute "What Are Little Girls Made Of?" by Kristina Runyeon-Odeburg.

Don't go anywhere: tomorrow, the big fiver Zeke hinted at, something I've been working on for a long time. In fact, you might say it's my own... my precious....

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September 3

Kira here, back to deliver one update to rule them all.

I started this fiver in my head while I was seeing the movie for the first time in theatres, almost two years ago... it's come a long way since then and I'm very fond of it, so it's hard to believe I'm actually going to let everyone read it.

Yet, after all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it, it's mine, I found it, it came to me! It's mine! My own... my precious....

Just kidding. Here, for your reading pleasure, Five-Minute The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.

Before I sign off, kudos to the Very Secret Diaries and The One Milk for inspiration, intentional or otherwise, and thanks to the handful of people who read the fiver and gave me constructive comments. (Any jokes Sa'ar Chasm claims he helped me come up with is a complete lie. It was me, all me.) I'll also note that if there are scenes in the fiver you're not familiar with, that's because I fived the Extended Edition. If you haven't seen it, do so now. Now!

There's more to come later in the week from Marc's corner of the site, so stay tuned.

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September 4

Nothing to report today except that Saskatchewan is supposed to get snow next week, which after one of the coldest summers in a century really, really blows. However, I unlike IJD GAF and most of Florida am not in the path of Hurricane Frances, so I guess it could be worse.

The 5MNG event I mentioned starts tomorrow, and will probably be no surprise to longtime 5MVers. The important thing is that it means fivers, fivers, and more fivers.

September 5

Well, it's that time of year again. Break out the party favors, the Troi-shaped cake, a surly Klingon, and Will Riker's trombone: 5MNG turns three today! 5MV's oldest subsite, it's been around as long as I have, and with today's contributions, it's now fived 60% of the Next Generation material. So let's hear it for Marc, 5MNG, and more great years to come!

In celebration of the momentous occasion, we're going to have three days of three fivers apiece. To start us off, we've got Five-Minute "The Quality of Life" from the head cheese himself, Marc Richard, accompanied by Five-Minute "Violations" by Derek Dean and Five-Minute "The Outcast" by Wade. You'll also notice some changes to the site layout: as with 5MD and 5MST before it, 5MNG is now the latest victim of Zeke's PHP mania.

So, enjoy, and come back for more tomorrow.

[Comments]

September 6

Back with day two of the 5MNG birthday festivities, and here's another trio of fivers. Today, we've got another contribution from Wade, Five-Minute "Legacy". Secondly, just in time for Labour Day, the Enterprise gives birth in Five-Minute "Emergence," co-written by Nic Corelli and Sa'ar Chasm. Last but not least, Five-Minute "Sarek" by IJD GAF and yo' momma. (No, just IJD GAF.)

In other news, let's hear it for Space Channel and their Labour Day Voyager Viewer's Choice Marathon! (Let's also hear it for my lab experiment not working, landing me home in time to catch most of the good stuff!) Sweeeet.

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September 7

For the third day of our anniversary, Nic Corelli starts us off with one of my personal TNG favorites, Five-Minute "Face of the Enemy," while Wade is back with his third contribution, Five-Minute "Inheritance." And finally, my own two cents -- I've fived another of my favorite episodes: Five-Minute "Power Play."

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September 8

Nothing new today. What did you expect after nine fivers in three days? A cookie? Well, okay, but just one.

Zeke will return tomorrow with your regularly scheduled programming. I'll be back before long, however: you haven't seen the last of my forays into big movie franchises. And I do mean big... but my lips are sealed.

(Walks away, humming) Bum bum bum bom bah bum, bom bah bum....

September 9

I have returned! (Who were you expecting, General MacArthur?) As always, a big thank you to Kira for handling things in my absence. I have a lot to say in this update, so it's time to break out the old <ul> tags.

• First off, I've arrived safely in Waterloo, and it's very cool here. I have my own room, my new computer, my office (I have an office!), and more freedom than I've ever enjoyed. As a result, even with the higher demands of a graduate program, I should have plenty of fiving time this year.
• Next, important site news. That part of the post is so long I've done it up as an article: 5MV, Year Five.
• Today's actual update is the second This Just In Brief: Florida hurricanes not Xindi attack, by one of the two 5MV staffers who would know best, Derek Dean. Read it and be glad you live elsewhere (if you do).
• My plan for the next few days is as follows: tomorrow, the first About update in a while, with new subsite FAQs for the three missing Trek subsites (by their section heads). Saturday, being September 11, the site is silent. Sunday, the first of the promised eTrektion candidate profiles. Monday, the Sci-Fivers event referred to in the Year Five article. Tuesday, filler while I (hopefully) finish the v4.0 work, and Wednesday, v4.0 at last. If I pull this off, folks, I'm going to spend Thursday thinking of everything else on the planet but this site.
• A side note about Kira's very successful Two Towers fiver: Kira was gracious enough not to mention this, but her original plan was to save BR48's Fellowship of the Ring fiver until the other two movies were done, and then make a whole LotR Week of it. A year ago, in a mental lapse I still can't quite explain, I just went ahead and published FotR. My error was quickly pointed out to me. I wanted to apologize on the site, not just in private, but that would have given away that Kira was doing TTT. So, now that it's published... I'm sorry about that, Kira. It was a mistake.
• Am I done? Whew! I'm done. Looooong update. I'll see you guys tomorrow with some About stuff.

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September 10

Sorry, running a little behind. That About update will be on Sunday with the TJI stuff.

September 11

(Placeholder news entry; 5MV doesn't update on September 11)

September 12

As promised, here are subsite FAQs for 5MST, 5MNG, and 5MD, by IJD, Marc, and Derek. I've also done 5MS to complete the set (including a pun I know somebody's gonna kill me for).

I'm clearly behind on the schedule I outlined in Thursday's post, so here's an updated version. Tomorrow and/or Tuesday will be the TJI candidate profiles; Wednesday will be the new Sci-Fivers minisite. As for Version 4.0... I'm going to have plead temporary insanity here, because I have no idea how I thought I was going to get that done by the 15th. I'm not even going to make an estimate right now, because I need to find a new graphics program, and that could take either a short or a long time. (If it's one I need to buy, for example, I'll have to wait until I have the funds.) I'll keep you posted about the 4.0 work.

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September 13 and 14

I said they'd be Monday or Tuesday; instead, they're Monday and Tuesday, to get me back on a current-day updating schedule. The first eTrektion Candidate Profiles are here! First to be profiled are Kevin Sorbo, Stephen Hawking, and J. J. Abrams. Special thanks to Nan for creating the Candidate Profiles logo.

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September 15

While I'm finishing the last details of the new minisite, here's a link. Everyone loves the Darwin Awards story of the man who strapped a JATO rocket to his car and hit a land speed of 300 mph across the desert for a few glorious seconds before exploding into a cliff face. The story has appeared in countless forms and is generally considered an urban legend, but one man claims to have experienced the real events that started the rumours. It's hard to say whether his tale is true -- I reluctantly suspect it isn't, because a lot of elements just fit too neatly -- but if it's not the truth, it's a damn good story. Read the saga of the Rocket Car (and don't start till you have a little time -- it's long).

September 16

Arrrgh, still not quite ready. Today will be an X Years Ago instead. This time we're digging way back in the archives to just under four years ago, on September 21, 2000. I had just started university, and after a fairly thin summer at 5MV, I published a six-pack to get the ball rolling again. The fivers were "Time and Again," "Tuvix," "Displaced," "Hope and Fear," "Dark Frontier," and "Muse." Except for Sab's "Displaced" -- her first guest fiver and only the second on the whole site -- they were all by me. (My fivers were way shorter back then, so I could write more of them.) You may also notice they're all Voyager episodes. That's because at that point 5MV only did VOY... hard to picture now, isn't it?

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September 19

Arrrr! Ahoy there, me hearties. I be havin' some explainin' to do, but afore I be startin', ye be hereby informed that today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Accordin'ly, we be celebratin' with a Top 10 list. Here she blows: The Top 10 Ways Enterprise Be Different on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Now then, the explainin'. First, I be needin' to apoleegize for missin' the last two updates. Me schedule's been a wee bit off this week. Resultin'ly, the plans for this month be changin' a tad. The event I been blabbin' about this past fortnight be goin' to be postponed till this comin' weekend. Whyfore? Because I be no longer havin' time to get it out of the way afore me first mate Kira's big event this week.

Aha! Ye didn't know Kira had a big event this week! Well, she do, and she be takin' over the updates now so as she can be presentin' it. Like T' Two Towers, this be an event LONG in the makin', and ye'd best not miss it. Not merely because it be a rollickin' good event (I kin vouch fer that, havin' read the booty under discussion), but fer other reasons relatin' to your continued healt' an' prosperity, if ye be gettin' me meanin'. (fingers cutlass)

As fer me, I'll be seein' ye swabs on Saturday, an' I plan on havin' a thing or two t' show for me absence. Till then, fare thee well, an' may the Fore (an' the Aft) be with ye....

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September 20

Greetings, all, and welcome to another Kira Extravaganza. (Or Kiravaganza, if you will.) Today, I bring you fivers that I started writing a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... well, undergrad. In fact, I started jotting down scenes for these before I even had them called. Those initial scenes are long gone, but the final product is here after close to a year and a half of writing, tweaking, and... a lot of waiting.

Ladies and gentlemen, fiver fans, I give you.... Five-Minute "Star Wars."

Fear not, for fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering... but you only have to suffer until tomorrow to get the next installment. Cheers, and enjoy.

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September 21

As most of you are probably aware, the new and "improved" Star Wars Trilogy is out on DVD today. Hats off to George Lucas, without whose incessant meddling I would have missed many an opportunity for a joke.

And without further ado, today's presentation of Five-Minute The Empire Strikes Back. Tomorrow, the thrilling conclusion. Will R2D2 succeed in killing Luke? Will Luke and Leia put their finger on what's gross? Will the Ewoks eat everyone? All these answers and more....

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September 22

Hooray for Ewoks, it's Return of the Jedi.

We're not done with the Star Wars-themed material, but before I sign off for today, a few kudos: Marc, Derek, IJD, Zeke, and anyone else who read the fivers, helped me with sticky scenes, or suggested a joke that I ended up using. Also, let's hear it for R2D2 and Chewbacca, by far the best characters I've ever written lines for without writing actual lines.

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September 23

There will be a Star Wars-related update again tomorrow, but in the meanwhile here's a couple of links. First off, Star Wars Spoofs is a collection of very, very well-animated Flash cartoons featuring hilarious "outtakes" from all five of the Star Wars films. Secondly --

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING LINK MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO SOME READERS. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO EAT, DRINK, OR OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY WHILE WATCHING.

-- one of the funniest things I've ever had the pleasure of watching, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Star Wars. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll never stand in line to get Star Wars tickets again.

September 24

It's TJIF! That's right, This Just In, Friday edition: Lucas to change ending of Episode III.

That's all I have to say; Zeke will be back to bring you a Very Special Event for the weekend.

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September 25

Greetings, all. I think we can all agree that Kira's left me with one tough act to follow; let's have one last round of applause for 5MV's Grand Moff and her long-awaited event.

Now, as she mentioned yesterday, I have my own event to hit you with this weekend -- come back tomorrow for that. Meanwhile, guess who else is back? Nan's comic, Working Title, has returned now that she's finally acquired a tablet. The comic currently up is actually the third new one she's posted since then, so page back a bit to read the others.

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