Answer --> Question game

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why is that strange man who dazed and confused and wears a top hat riding a tricycle.



A: Because he's wearing a tophat, and therefore be may be important even if he is dazed and confused and walks around malls.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why can't we kick him out of the mall?

A: He opened a store in the mall and sold Top Hats. A made alot of money and became a millionare.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did the dazed, confused man who wandered mall do after he got sick of his collection of top hats?


A: That's okay, it just fell off a top hat worn by a man who used to wander malls in a dazed and confused manner until he started selling hats.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Did you know your tongue just fell out after saying that long sentence?

A: Oh, you forgot to mention he is wearing YELLOW![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So the guy is dazed and confused, about 5 foot 9, 180 pounds, he wears a top hat, and he likes to wander and walk around malls. His mother was a doctor, his father a lawyer. He has been married once, but that ended when Britney Spears divorced him. His favorite movie are horror and romantic comedies. He is currently working in a top-hat store.


A: As a top-hat salesman, yes; before, no.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Did the guy with the long introduction and the funny looking top hat ever date?

A: That was the day he wore blue[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's this about some day about a year ago, when some strange guy I've never heard of, wandered around some mall I've never been in, for the first time?

A: This obsession is more annoying then all the previous ones combined![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: cat, what do you think about this "man in a top hat in a mall" nonsense?


A: "Um . . . er . . . . . I, uh, whacked a guy with a leg off a folding chair once."[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So, NAH, it's common knowledge 17 is evil, and I'm going to kill Nic soon for, eh, undisclosed reasons, what about you? Have you ever killed someone?

A: Now who the frell are [i:post_uid0]you[/i:post_uid0]?[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Don't talk about my husband walking in the mall with a top hat like that, you will hurt his feelings.

A: 1st Floor, near the Food Court[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Where did the dazed, confused man in the top hat meet Britney Spears before they married for a brief weekend?


A: If you forget your top hat, buy one, of course![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I am all dressed up ready to go to the mall. Wait a minute, did I forget something?

A: Hmm, this weekend, some eagles ate some cheese, and some colts rammed some chiefs[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So, confused dazed top-hatted man, what was the movie you saw about?



A: Dazed. Confused. Sticks around like a confused, dazed, thing wearing some sort of hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Well its day 47, and we are still at the mall watching this odd man. Oh wait, we have a witness to tell about his adventure watching this man. So how do you feel?

A: Stay tuned because this man may surprise us.

(My answer was not about a movie in my last post. It was about the NFL playoffs)[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So, he's been walking around for 47 days in a dazed, confused manner, he's opened a top-hat store, been married and divorced...so...what else is there left to be done?



A: Pudding, pie, 47, LOTR, POTC, John...and now...the dazed and confused man wearing a top hat who wanders malls.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: For 1 million dollars, what is the order of obsessions on the 5MV Forums?

A: Sorry, mall is closed[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can I go and see the guy in top hat walking around all dazed and confused? Please?



A: It means there will be a guy in a top hat, that's what it means.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do you mean this forum has a new obsession, huh? Huh?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] You fool. That's because John's the dazed confused man walking around the mall in a top hat![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Ohoh, 17 has started to talk about the dazed and confused man in the top hat who wanders around malls. guess who she thinks he looks like



A: The man in the top hat started also selling sunhats and purses in his hat store.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q[/b:post_uid0]: Do you know where I can buy a sunhat and a purse?


[b:post_uid0]A[/b:post_uid0]: Of course. [i:post_uid0]They're[/i:post_uid0] professionals, unlike some I could mention.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Will the "Dazed Confused Man in a Top Hat Who Used To Walk Around Malls Top-hat, Purse, Sunhat, Shoe, and DomainName Emporium" fix my ripped purse?



A: I didnt really mean to start it. But I did. Oh well.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Someone mentions a new thing, then someone else uses it. Before you know, its an obsession. We will be cursed forever with John and the man in the top hat that looks like John and sells Purses, hats and other things in the mall while dazed and confused.

A: Whatever you do, do not talk about the woman with the big boobs, it might start a new obsession.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who's the top-hat-wearing, dazed, confused man who wanders around malls dating today?



A: If you add a man in a top hat to a girl with a silk bonnet, you get that.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Where'd the baby in the bassinet come from?

A: PG-13[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So "Dazed and Confused:The Man in the Top Hat Who Wanders Malls" is rated WHAT for nudity, violence, and the occasional use of the word "frunk"?


A: 47 boxes of top hats on the wall, 47 boxes of top hats, take one down, sell it around, 46 boxes of top hats on the wall.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is the song that the dazed and confused man in the top hat singing as he walks around the mall selling hats?

A: Oh look, the dazed and confused top hat guy is now wondering around on Enterprise. The Xindi don't stand a chance now.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the newest news on Enterprise? Any surprise weapons?


A: The dazed and confused man wearing a top hat did it. He wanders around the mall a lot, and owns a Top Hat store..[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I killed the sheriff, but who killed the deputy?

A: Ohh, we're never going to get rid of him [i:post_uid0]now[/i:post_uid0]![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you think the man in the top hat who likes to wander around malls in a dazed and confused manner would like to be a movie star?



A: Man. Tophat. Dazed and confused in malls.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: [extremely friendly voice]Hello Opium, it's time for your medicins. How are you feeling today?[/extremely friendly voice]

A: Don't you dare![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Dazed. Confused. Looks like a man wearing a top hat who wande--


A: Ack! That song is so derivative, they should confine it to calculus class![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Have you heard the "new" song the man... No I'm not even going to say it. The song that man you're all obsessed about, is singing?

A: Read my lips. This is an answer.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can you help me? I need an answer quick!

A: If you realy think thats going to work on me, you've got another thing coming![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: *Waves hand* There is no man wearing a top hat, and if you don't believe me, ask Spoon Boy.

A: Don't mind me, I'm just in denial.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why arent you talking obbsessevly talking about the dazed and confused man in the top hat who wanders malls and now owns a top-hat,purse, shoe and domain-name emporium, and has had a movie made about him?



A: And WHAT does that have to do with the man in the top hat, pudding, LOTR, POTC, pie, OR John?[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I WON THE LOTTERY! I WON THE LOTTERY! I can't believe it, but I won the LOTTE--


A: Stop that man! He's stealing my butter![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Quick, I need some butter! John's body stopped up a drain, and we need butter to get him out, or else there will be a big flood.

A: Where did you say you were from again?[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I'm from *static* in *static*. It's just south of *garbled* and just East of *cat hit mute button*.



A: Man. In top hat. Wanders around malls in a dazed and confused manner.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you experiencing a 17-like crash?

A: It's not about John, pizza, pie, PotC, LotR, or pudding, and there were no others.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the new "Matrix:Apoligigy For Revulotions" about?


A: Confused man in a top hat who is dazed by wandering around malls kills John. With a rusty axe. 47 times.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What are you going to become if you stay obsessed with this top hat thing?


A: My name is Katy, but don't let it go to your head.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Wow! Arent you? No, you couldnt be...WOW! It's...YOU! I'm overwhelmed!



A: Dazed. Confused. Man in a top hat wandering around malls.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] How would you describe a dazed, confused man wandering around malls in a top hat?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Pie.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's cryptic, obscure, and yummy?



A: Dazzling. Confusing. Looks like a man in a top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Ooh, pie, bright shiny pie, bright shiny cryptic pie flying high in the sky!

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Here.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: There?



A: Man. Wandering. Dazed and confused.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Opium, I forgot what the new forum obsession is. Could you remind me?

A: I was being sarcastic. Geez.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: You really think "The Man in the Top Hat" would make a good movie staring Johnny Depp and Karl Urban?



A: You know what I think on the subject.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you think "The Man in the Top Hat" [i:post_uid0]should[/i:post_uid0] make a movie starring Johnny Depp and Karl Urban?

A: Drunk. But just a little.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What do you think is wrong with that man who is hurling in a top hat?

A: Those are the items stored in the man's top hat[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Pie, pudding, a dagger that killed John, a DVD of POTC, a DVD of LOTR, and the selected works of "Carl Sagan".


A: The man in the top hat was wandering around malls in a dazed and confused manner, and then the king died and the queen died.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So why did the Englishman in the Top Hat have to leave the mall in such a hurry?

A: Hey, do you have any eggrolls in that hat of yours?[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I'm getting hungry. Are you hungry? Want some Chinese?

A: That depends. Is there food?[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] (As Eminem once said) I'm going to Hell! Who's coming with me?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Omicron Ceti[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: And where is this Hell of yours located?

A: Nah, I already killed someone today. I'm not doing another one for a few hours.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you want to kill the man in the top hat who wanders around malls in a dazed and confused manner? Or how about John?


A: Sorry, I already killed him, but there is a Man in the Top Hat, and of course John.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey, do you want to go kill the bald guy with the Big Fish?

A: Only the man in the top hat that wonders around in the mall dazed and confused is able to do a cannonball in the pool without making a splash.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Ohoh. John just did a canonball into the little kiddie pool, and he made all the water splash out, and he hit the bottom and died! Oh the humanity!



A: Everytime John is close to love, he dies. Most can not live without love; he cannot live with it.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you saying that it is love that kills John?

A: A duel with John is pointless[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So in other words, I'll always win agaist John because he always dies?



A: Cruddy old John, cruddy confused, dazed, top-hat mall man, cruddy old pie.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you in a cruddy mood?

A: You should meet his wife[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: The guy in the top hat who wanders around malls sure can be dazed confused...I think he cats, too.



A: I really dont think that is an appropriate question.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Hey, Opium.... [CENSORED]?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Coo. Coo. Coooooo.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What word comes before kachoo?

A: Room spinning...sinuses dripping...unable to continue describing symptoms...[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hi! How are you?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Sheridan.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Ewww, what is that?

A: You should try asking for his name at least.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can I go and give that guy a big red hat?



A: Dazed. Confused. Wears a top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Describe George W. Bush after Chakotay is done crashing a shuttle through him.

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] xxxxxx, xxxxxx, xxxxxx![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Please type in your favorite password, but use only "x"'s to avoid being seen.



A: Dazed. Confused. Wears a top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Condition caused by an enchantment that clouds the mind of a humanoid creature with 4 or fewer Hit Dice so that it takes no actions? Condition that makes the targets unable to independently determine what they will do? Characteristic of the latest obsession?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Sheridan.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How would Micheal Jackson look if he had 3 more plastic surgeries?


A: Dazed. Confused. Wears a top hat backwards.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: If the man in the top hat wanted to walk around the mall being cool, what would he have to do?

A: Bring out the next contestant to be humiliated in front of the entire viewing audience.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Legolas, I have another group of fangirls willing to sing karaoke just to meet you. What should I do with them?


A:Cheese. Chili. PETA* filing a lawsuit.


*People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So what happened [i:post_uid0]after[/i:post_uid0] last night's episode of Enterprise?

A: Only if you agree to join PETA*

*People Eating Tasty Animals ;)[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Is the 'Cheesy Chilli Suprise' good?



A: Well...at least it got rid of that "Man in a Top Hat Wandering around malls dazed and confused" cliche![/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How is the Forum doing these days? Did it regain its mental health?


A: The Witch-King of Angmar.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: You know who really really sucks?



A: Yes, she's okay, but Eowyn is much cooler.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: The monstrous Sheloba spider is the coolest thing ever, right?


EDIT:

A: I want a Giant Evil Elephant as a car and an Evil Black Nazgul as a pet.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey strange and confused man, what do you want?

A: He bought some mad libs books, then ate lunch.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did Eomer do when he realized he wasn`t the one who killed the Witch-King of Angmar, it was his silly sister?

A: The Cow.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So who is mad now? Maybe we should go tip him.

A: I went to Paris on my lunch break and I wasnt even late getting back to work.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Wow, that`s totally fascinating! I`m so curious about... what did you eat?

A: I overslept my classes this morning. AAAAAAAH![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why are you running round in a bath mat?



A: Anyone who calls Eowyn "silly" needs a lobotomy![/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is the latest message from the Lord Sauron?

A: Apparently they`re having a secret relationship...[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What are Nic Corelli and Liza Menelli doing together in that Top Hat store?


A:Well, I cant answer that because I'm trying cut back on that cliche.[/color:post_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who is that man and what is he doing?


A: If you don't i'll give you a cookie![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why do I have to tell you I don't like cookies [i:post_uid0]again[/i:post_uid0]?

A: Mister van Dalen is waiting for an answer.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Where's von Danniken off to in such a hurry in his chariot?

A: Aliens built the pyramids.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Deanna, why don`t you state the obvious again? :D


A: Ten chocolate sundaes.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey Joe, what was the 10th junk food on the 12 Junk Foods of Childhood?

A: 5 Golden Onion Rings[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did you win at the "Distrubing Fanfic of Enterprise" contest?



A: Dazed. Confused. Man walking around in a top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So what what happened on your date to the mall, Opium?

A: Word Association has been infested with moving cochroaches.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's happened to that thread with all the cochroaches crawling on it? Which thread was that, anyway?

A: Dead. Mutilated. OMG, that [i:post_uid0]is[/i:post_uid0] John Sheridan![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Opps, we forgot to revive this corpse. Who was it anyway?

A: John, I have some bad news. Every time you die, you age 6 months, you shrink one millimeter, and lose a couple billion sperm.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Doctor, why do I feel so bad after I die and come back to life?


A: Dazed. Confused. Man walking around in top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Ok, when you see this dream of yours, tell me how you feel and what do you see.

A: Dazed. Confused. Man stuck in top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did Top Hat Man look after he ran into John's SUV?


A: Dazed. Confused. Man wandering around in big pink furry top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did you see in your crystal ball today?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Crichton.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Where's John? What did you do to his body? Have you been watching [i:post_uid0]Farscape[/i:post_uid0] recently?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Digadang dang diggadigadangdang![/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q[/b:post_uid0]: 17, everyone says you're totally crazy. Is this true?


[b:post_uid0]A[/b:post_uid0]: In an alternate timeline he was squashed by a falling hippo.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is the weirdest way John ever died, until now?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Carter.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Great Maker. What's that mess in the middle of the floor?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I had a good answer to that, but I'm afraid I've forgotten it.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's dead, mutilated, and rhymes with "One Caravan"?


A: These gentle -men and -women took exception to my attempting to sell this batch I have with me here in their noble meeting place and began to assault me without warning.[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What happened the first time you tried to make profit?


A: That bloody Eiffel Tower...[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So, what evidence do we have to John's brutal murder in Paris?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Ooh, pretty explosions![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Yikes! :O Babylon 5 just tumbled out of the wormhole and slammed into Deep Space 9!


A: Jai alai.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Goobedegook?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Because B5 just came tumbling out of the wormhole and smushed into DS9. Yip![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Didn't you hear what I said (http://www.orlandojaialai.com/whatis.htm), 17? And why are you standing at the window bouncing up and down and making excited noises?


A: If I hear that you so much as wave a rusty nail at them, I’ll see to it that you are publicly executed on the spikes.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] But oh Great Emperor, why can't I pop your balloons?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Geez, NAH, that looks like it's come right out of "Tron"![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why so interested in the jai alai equipment, 17? Does it remind you of B5 someho--


A: Er, actually, I think I've run out of stuff to quote myself on for the moment.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] I need some deep thoughts on death and destruction, NAH! Quick!

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Don't touch me![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Oops, I was too close when John got boomed that time. Now I have blood all over me. Now where can I wipe it off...?

(v edited as it was too hard)
A: No need be sorry! I okay![/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] NAH, are you alright? You're speaking funny.

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Star go boom! Whee![/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Uh, 17? You do realize that was the Sun you just shot the Doom!sday weapon of Doom! at, right?


A: Best of all, it even [i:post_uid0]spreads your butter![/i:post_uid0][/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] So you're saying I can use this knife to spear, mutilate and completely disfigure John's dead body?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] I have no life. Woe is me.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: 17. why are walking in circles muttering about John and the attack of the tribbles?



A: Wow. Top hat man really did that.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: That guy in the top hat crashed Babylon 5 into Deep Space 9 using the worm hole.

A: I heard Voyager was docked at Deep Space Nine when the station blew up.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who do you think blew up Odo's work station on the station?



A: Wow. Top hat man really did that.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Did you hear about John Sheridan? He [CUT FOR SPOILERS], [CUT FOR SPOILERS], [CUT FOR SPOILERS] and [CUT FOR SPOILERS], before finally [CUT FOR SPOILERS]! Is that cool, or what?



[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] That's very... interesting, John.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: You see, just before I was hit by a landing plane, I saw that Top Hat guy steal something from a woman. And before I drowned in the swimming pool, I saw him spit at a little child. I'm telling you, he's not such a nice guy. Really!

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Billingsley.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did John look after he ran into that brick wall of DOOM?



A: Confused. Dazed. Looks like Top Hat Man in a bikini.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Just who is that a picture of? Get rid of it before I whack you.

A: He is coming for dinner tonight[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Whatever happened with Sauron, anyway?


A: I`m not pointing fingers, but it was your fault, YOU![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who started the whole "Confused man in a top hat wandering around the dazed and confused in a mall" thing?


A: Don't worry, I've already forgotten it.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can you ever forgive me for cold-bloodedly murdering your boyfriend in his sleep?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Lennon.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How does your new boyfriend look?


A: Confused. Dazed. Walks around malls in a top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is the talking cat that acts like Austin Powers looking like?

A: It must have been the sale[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did the Top Hat Man afford to go the Caribean?


A: That information can not be revealed to anyone but John and the Top Hat Man.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Computer, how did John's last death go?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John DeLancie[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Cat, how does your newest hairdo look like?


A: Dazed. Confused. Looks like the top hat man in drag.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can you give me a description of your wife?

A: Dazed. Confused. Looks like T'Pol wearing a top hat.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How does your new husband look?


A: Dazed. Confused. Looks like a bageute in a top hat.


(See, as I'm a girl, I wouldnt have a girlfriend, I really should have picked a less ambigous name *sighs*)[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Honey, what in the world is this thing with a top hat doing on my kitchen counter?

A: That would be a good title for a top 10 list

(Opium, perhaps an icon that resembles a female would help improve your femalish qualities)[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Watching AandE's "Murder She Wrote" marathon was much better family entertainment than the Superbowl this year.



A: Dazed. Confused. A pink fluffy bunny of DOOM

(hehe, but it's my favorite band :D )[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Just what is in this cave anyway?

A: Oh, its just a Holy Hand Grenade[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's that pink pineapple-shaped thingy in your hand?


A:Dazed. Confused. Looks like a pink fluffy of MOOD.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Kirk! Speak to me! What is that you are rambling about?

A: Dazed. Not Confused. Looks like a dog wetting his pants.[/color:post_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] What do you mean, that dog wears pants?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] If that were true, I wouldn't be standing here.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Is your name John?


A: Dazed. Confused. Wears a big pink fluffy pair of Hammer pants.


(for those of you too young to remember Hammer pants...be grateful) :p[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Is that guy wearing a large pink tent?

A: Return Of The Chasm.

[quote:post_uid0]for those of you too young to remember Hammer pants...be grateful[/quote:post_uid0]

Don't say that. I can remember Hammer pants, which means that anyone too young to remember them shouldn't be able to type yet, which means if they are, I'm too young to be this old.[/color:post_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the title of the new Star Trek Movie, written by Sa'ar Chasm?

A: A Pink and Green striped apple.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I heard that John ate something poisonous and didn't die. What was it?

A: Bombs don't kill John, love does.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: ...So I threw a couple of nukes on him, and he still doesn't die! What happened, did he suddenly become invinceble or something?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like Jonathan Archer.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How does Jonathan Archer look after encountering the pink fluffy bunny of DOOM?



A: Dazed. Confused. Looks like the top hat man.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So Delenn, who was it that jumped out of the bushes and attacked you and John.

A: Frodo, I saw The Ring. Not the one ring that took us 3 movies to destroy, but the ring that kills you seven days later.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Samwise, why did you just confess all your secrets to me?



A: Dazed and confused, the man walked out of the movie because it was so bad.[/color:post_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why'd that guy leave his popcorn in my seat?

A: Dazed. Confused. They watched the Top Hat Man for a full hour.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did 17 and Neo spend thier weekend?




A: As he is dazed and confused, the top hat man forgot all about that.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: [i:post_uid0]That's[/i:post_uid0] Top Hat Man? Where's his top hat?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Doe.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did Jonathan Archer look after he told T'Pol the catsuit made her look too skinny?


A: If he wore a top hat he wouldnt have been dead nor mutilated.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So John went to this ancient Indian tribe, and they said something like: "Jgfoh heg fdyr fogst" before they killed him. What does that mean?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like Johnny Depp.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How would Jack Sparrow look if he ran into Edward Scissorhands, literally?


A: He looks like a dazed and confused Johnny Depp, only less hot.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Oh look, is that Johnny Depp?

A: Sorry, we are out of pie[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. What were Zeke's mom's last words?

--

A. The laughing vulcan and his dog.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is the title of new Spock-Centric movie, "Star Trek 11:------------"



A: Wow. I thought it would cause people to be dazed and confused, but it was only annoying.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What are your thoughts on the man-in-a-top-hat fad?


A: Really? Gee, I hope they don't make us repair it.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you realise we've just broken the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics?

A: Black helicopters.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the newest fad at 5MV?



A: This wont contain that.[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Can you please put all the top-hat man forum entries into that big box you're carrying?

--

A. It is green.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Whats the color of the black helicopter?

A: Its right behind you[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Where is the pielith of DOOM?


A: Call the "How's me driving" hotline.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Chakotay's flying the shuttle again. What should we do?

A: I don't recall a time[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you remember when there wasnt pie, John, pudding, chilli, LOTR, POTC, or Top Hat Man at 5MV forums?


A: So pretty, so shiny, so cool.[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. What's it like inside Deanna Troi's brain?

--

A. Row, row, row your boat.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Spock, what was that "illogical" song we sung while camping?

A: John makes a great redshirt[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. What kind of fashion design is John best at?

---

A. O.K., stop.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I like the Top hat man! He's the dazed and confused Top Hat Man who wanders around malls wearing pink fuzzy top hats and he has a top hat store and he has a girlfriend he got cus he opened a top hat store and he also sells purses and stuff and he does repairs and...



A: Yes, I guess that could be taken as an off-topic response.[/color:post_uid0]

[Artanis]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I love peeps, they're squishy and sugary and cute... until you bite their heads off.

---

A: Get away from me.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q:Hey look, I have a top hat.

A: You can throw that in a top ten list somewhere.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: GAK!

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John F. Kennedy.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did you look after I went on about the Top Hat Man for 8 hours?



A: The yellow jack should have gone into the pink receptical.[/color:post_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Which color garbage can I use?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like George Bush.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What does a plot bunny look like?



A: The appliance was not meant for that use.[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Why didn't Porthos get better when Phlox sealed him into an acquarium?

--

A. I swore I'd never use one of these things.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why are you crying while using a bathtub?



A: Well, maybe just sing about it and it will go away![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: There is a doggy in the window. What should I do?

A: We are running low on the supply of redshirts.[/color:post_uid0]

[Artanis]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey, why are only WE on this mission.


A: There is no answer.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: There is no question.

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Dravolta.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who does Vincent Vega look like?

A: He didn't listen to me[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why does that guy you've all been talking about not have a top hat anymore?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Connor[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did that guy look like after he got hit by a fastball?

A: Must be an Emotion Holiday for Vulcans[/color:post_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q:Why is this planet deserted?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like the Top Hat man.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What would you get if you combine Opium's favourite answer with mine?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Denver.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who asked that last question?

A: The Top Hat Man will now be known as Top Ten Hat Man[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: The Top Hat man needs a cooler, more relevant name!


A: The Top Hat Man sang his stupid song again and again.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So what happened after you set his MP3 player on repeat?

A: The 3rd one you mentioned is the better choice as the #1 reason.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Reasons to kill John: 1. Because he's there. 2. Because he's likes fluffy pink top hats. 3. Because he's also the Top Hat Man.



A: Fresh cheese is yummy.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey Opium, welcome back! How was Limburg?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Denver.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who the newest John and what does he look like?



A: Dead. Confused. Looks like the Top Hat man in John Sheridan's clothing eating a bageutte.[/color:post_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What the heck is that corpse doing?

A: Dazed. Confused. Looks like Martha Stewart.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Who'd those people just slap around and haul off in chains? I can't tell from this distance, can you?


A: I see Zeke's been busy again, all right...[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Did you know that the Links and About sections have BOTH been updated?!

--

A. All good things.[/color:post_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q[/b:post_uid0]:, What, unlike [i:post_uid0]Andromeda[/i:post_uid0], must someday come to an end?


[b:post_uid0]A[/b:post_uid0]: The Redshirt Army.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What did the Barmy Army become after the encounter with the Exploding Tomato Sauce Creatures?

A: Psychological help.

(And no, you can't say "What does Sa'ar need?")[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What does William Shanter need to stop him from trying to sing?


A: Big pink baguette of DOOM.[/color:post_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is a certain forumgoer receiving as a gift for Valentine's Day?


A: 10101000! 1110 10 0011 1, 010010100100 10100101-1001 [b:post_uid0]11101001[/b:post_uid0] :madder:![/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Can you translate "The Top Hat Man killed John again" into digital?



A: The red top hat of DOOM wont help you now.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I need red top hat of DOOM to help me out of this sticky situation.

A: All signs point to yes[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Let's see. John's body lies on the floor, his head in the washing machine and his intestines in the oven. I think he might be dead, but I need a second opinion. Doctor?

[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Mira Furlan

:D[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So... Who are [i:post_uid0]you[/i:post_uid0] going to send a Valentine's letter?

A: Dead. Mutilated. Looks like John Wayn.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What does your ideal Valentine's card look like?



A: V-Day= watching Titanic over and over.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] Vacuousity Day? What's that?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] That's not true! Cat has defamed me! WAAAAH! ::THWAP!::[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Cat said you like to eat chilli with cheese pie and fuzzy bunny icecream. Is this true?




A: The rat ate the cat just like John killed the something-something man.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why don't you go compare John with a rat, and the Top Hat man with cat?

A: Dead. Mutilated. I'm running out of Johns to kill.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So cat, how are you feeling today?


A: Dazed. Confused. The Top Hat Man and John moved to Toronto, as I am not running out of strange situations for John and the Top Hat Man.[/color:post_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's this about strange situations?

A: I have a purple elephant.[/color:post_uid0]

[Naki]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Things I say while drunk

A: J/C 'shipping[/color:post_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Captain, status report on the position of the Dominion fleet! I need important information - what`s happening on that outpost, dammit?


A: The Vampires ate all the Elves.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]<s>Q: What do C/7'ers hate more than anything else?</s>

ARGH!

Q: What the frell? What happened here? Where did the Elves go?

A: Just take this plate and put some on it.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What are we going to do with all this chili?

A: Just feed the rest of it to that angry monster over there[/color:post_uid0]

[Naki]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What should we do with the pickle berry pie?

A: Leola Root is good[/color:post_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Should I throw away this leola root sword?

A: I can't quite tell, but I think it's a goose.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: This is Rush Limbaugh as the animal he is. What is it?


A: Why do the costumers on Enterpise always run out of t-shirt material? I mean really, they never have proper t-shirts, they're always cropped and off and sleeveless and stuff.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Did you say you had a question for the costumers?

A: Sorry, please rephrase that question so this magic 8 ball can accurately guess your answer.[/color:post_uid0]

[Naki]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What do chakotay and janeway have in common?

A: 42[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What do you get when you multiply six an--*Earth blows up*

A: What we demand is a total absence of solid facts![/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: "We demand there are at least twice as many people in Canada than in the Netherlands. We demand this is a funny sentence. We also demand pie. We think." What the hell is this?

A: Sure. Next time Ottawa makes the papers in Limburg.[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Will you go out with me?

A: We demand that we may or may not be Vroomfondel.[/color:post_uid0]

[Naki]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: there is the only thing left for us demand

A: Spongebob square pants[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What tv show do John and thay guy in the Top Hat like to watch together?

A: Im glad you said it and not me[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Delenn sucks.

A: Virgins. Lots and lots of male virgins.

[quote:post_uid0]Q: Will you go out with me?[/quote:post_uid0]
Are you just saying that because you knew I'd decline? :D

Also, *runs*

*Hard*[/color:post_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What does one expect to find at Star Trek conventions, according to common wisdom?

A: We were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed.

[quote:post_uid0]Are you just saying that because you knew I'd decline?[/quote:post_uid0]

Yes. I wouldn't have run the risk if I thought you'd say yes *g*[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How did you get a part in Britney's video?



A: Oh No! Top hat man has not been mentioned in a few posts. Now, regarding your question, no.[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Do you think it's unheathy to subscribe to bizarre forum obsessions and mention the same things in post after post?

---

A. Two goalie beaux where no one has gone before.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Say something like looks like gibberish but that kinda sounds like something when you it!



A: Yes, however, a box of chocolates may be a better option.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you think my wife will like these flowers I picked out of the woods?

A: Going where no goalie has gone before[/color:post_uid0]

[Artanis]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey ya wanna hear a joke! It's a great one! Why did the andorian water-polo player want to go to Risa?


A: Don't look at me.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Are you the muffin man? The Top Hat man? John? Dr. Beverly Crusher? Ezri? Hillary Clinton?


A: Actually, flowers, chocolate, AND a gift certificate to The Body Shop would be the best choice.[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]A. I just accidentally told my boyfriend how ugly I think his mother is. What do you think I should get him for Valentine's Day?

---

Q. I remember it like it was yesterday.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Do you remember when you posted your last post about 10 minutes ago?



A: I say it, I just dont care.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: How can you say you don't mind John dying all the time?

A: My door is always open.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I keep having guys think I want them on the very first date. What do you think I am saying to them to make them think this?



A: Okay, so, flowers, chocolate, and a Body Shop girt cert isnt enough. Well you did go to the Body Shop soap store, and an autobody shop, right? Yes? Well then try a few free movie tickets.[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So his parents got a devorce because of me. You see, his father looked at her and agreed with me... Then his mother realized he was bald and did I mention--

A: What was his name, anyway?[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Hey, this dude I met today kept dying, then coming back to life. It was so freaky.

A: Are you going to finish that?[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So my story goes, "One day this man was walking down the street. He ran into an old love, who he had dumped because she was too pretty. However, what he didnt know what that the woman was actually a..." and that's where I get lost.


A: I cant beleive that![/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: You are so sexy.

A: You are The One[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Quick, say something so untrue and out of place the universe might decide to explode.

A: There comes the monkey out of the wrong sleeve.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: I will now pull a monkey out of my left sleeve.

A: Dude, where is my starship[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: When I say, "Where's your starship, dude?" what do you say?

A: Complete past time.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What is something I just cant go back to?


A: Darned fluffy pink plot bunny of DOOM![/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Everything just went blue and a popup told me to reboot the universe. What happened?*

---

A. It slices, it dices, it kills people named John.




*Thanks, Fiver By Committee! :)[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What's the "John-OW-thing?


A: So you gave her cheap baking chocolate? Bad.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: My Wife of 20 years left me today, never to return.

A: She left the tv only because she couldnt get it out the door.[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Why did your wife take everything except your 50 inch tv? She even took your pants!


A: Buy flowers, good chocolate, a pretty card, and NO cheap baking chocolate, NO auto-body-shop gift certs, and dont mention that incident with John or the Top Hat man.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What should I do about my fear of heights?

A: She took the kids with her when she left me , but we didnt have any kids[/color:post_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: What do mean, you're wife is crazy? She looked fine to me.

A: That guy is a jerk. Dump him already.[/color:post_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000:post_uid0][b:post_uid0]Q:[/b:post_uid0] [insert mile-long whinge about the Top Hat Man here] So what should I do about it?


[b:post_uid0]A:[/b:post_uid0] Small steps, Ellie, small steps.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: So how big of a step do I have to take that is adequate for falling out of a plane?

A: That was a big small step[/color:post_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q: Have you ever gone across the rope bridge at the park?


A: So...beautiful. No words to describe...should have sent poet.[/color:post_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Q. Trip, can you tell us about your first pecan pie?

--

A. I can't tell you that. Plot Bunny Prime Directive.[/color:post_uid0]