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NeoMatrix
02-28-2005, 04:22 AM
Q: Am I going to get this joke?

A: Computer, cancel that last order
Opium
03-01-2005, 07:42 AM
Q: Doctor, are you sure you want to have Kirk's haircut?


A: But...I...what?
NeoMatrix
03-03-2005, 03:51 AM
Q: Captain, we are being hailed by the aliens, but they ask if you would talk like a monkey.

A: Computer: Tuvok, the "Strangling Neelix" program has been accessed 47 times in the past month, 46 of them by you. Are you ok?
NAHTMMM
03-03-2005, 04:06 AM
Q: Tuvok: Computer, begin Holodeck program "Alleviation of Frustration A-A-Dash-0-1", access code "ARRRRRGGGH".


A: ...So, does this mean we won't be able to spend my birthday at Disney World?
NeoMatrix
03-03-2005, 04:40 AM
Q: Congrats Captain, you just defeated the Borg! However, we are still in the Delta Quadrant and the Holodecks are offline for a long long time.

A: No more Red Alert, how about Pink Alert?
Anonymous
03-03-2005, 05:06 AM
Q: Are you sure promoteing Martha Stewart to Captain was a good idea?


A: All i know is, he had it comming.
NeoMatrix
03-03-2005, 07:05 AM
Q: Did you hear about Chakotay's big break up with Seven?

A: Now I know where Tom got the idea to fly the ship upside down at warp speed.
Chancellor Valium
03-04-2005, 12:51 PM
Q: Do you want to see this film in which someone flies a ship upside-down at warp?
A:No. Really, at Warp Seven?
Opium
03-05-2005, 11:11 PM
Q: Did you see that episode where Dr Crusher and Picard finally made out while a crazed Worf was piloting the ship at warp 7 through the Sun's solar system?


A: One moment please.
Xeroc
03-06-2005, 12:59 AM
Q: Ensign - fire torpedoes!


A: GMT - 8 Hours
Ginga
03-06-2005, 01:41 AM
Q: Pop quiz! What's my time-zone!? 5 seconds to answer, GO!

A: ...why the answer is simple, it's sexual tension!
Naki
03-06-2005, 02:36 AM
Q: What does it say in Fuyu Ginga's pic?

A:Chaud does, he spends all his free time designing t-shirts for forum members
Ginga
03-06-2005, 02:57 AM
Q: Who can make me a t-shirt for 5MV?

A: The crying emoticon did it.
Opium
03-06-2005, 10:17 AM
Q: What made you cry during your reading of "5 Minute Finding Neverland"?


A: I think that we all need to that more often.
Chancellor Valium
03-06-2005, 05:19 PM
Q: Do you think we need to say "that" more often?
A: The onions.
Opium
03-06-2005, 11:51 PM
Q: Who expects the Spanish Inquisition?



A: Ha Ha. That was funny.
NeoMatrix
03-07-2005, 03:26 AM
Q: Why didn't you laugh at my funny joke?

A: Oh my, you tortured her to death with the fluffy pillows
Opium
03-07-2005, 06:23 AM
Q: John's girlfriend had to die.


A: Huh?
Chancellor Valium
03-07-2005, 01:01 PM
Q:....So in conclusion, to counterpoint the surrealism of the extended metaphor, it was necessary to undermine the realistic subterfuge of the underlying message which was in fact a simile for the same.
A: What were you doing last night, again?
NeoMatrix
03-07-2005, 04:00 PM
Q: Can you repeat the question you asked me? I'm still recovering from last night.

A: Come to 5mv, where your wishes get ruined
Chancellor Valium
03-07-2005, 07:22 PM
Q: Why do you sound so disaffected with Zeke?
A: I HAVE SEEN THREE!
Xeroc
03-08-2005, 02:05 AM
Q: Hmmm, everything looks good on your resume, but what's this about the lights?


A: ^ top
Opium
03-08-2005, 03:02 AM
Q: Where are the lights? Below, on top, or on the side of the scary alien dude?


A: My karma ran over my dogma.
NeoMatrix
03-08-2005, 07:51 AM
Q: Why are you playing with magma?

A: Gnats
Opium
03-08-2005, 08:07 AM
Q: What are you doing your essay on?



A: I love lamp.
Chancellor Valium
03-08-2005, 11:00 AM
Q: What did you say? I wasn't listening...
A: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD NNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOON!
NeoMatrix
03-08-2005, 03:58 PM
Q: I did not understand a word you just said, can you repeat it slowly?

A: Thanks, but you need some help with your cow problem.
Chancellor Valium
03-08-2005, 04:49 PM
Q: Have some pie, and mind the cows........
A: No thank you, I have a cheesecake already.
NeoMatrix
03-08-2005, 07:25 PM
Q: Here, have a cheesecake

A: I gave up women for pie a long time ago
Chancellor Valium
03-08-2005, 07:37 PM
Q: What is your obsession with pie? Do you now go out with pies instead of women or something?

A: No thanks, I prefer stroudle! Guess the quote! Boing!
Xeroc
03-09-2005, 03:51 AM
Q: Allllright, have you been taking those pills?


A: Curses! Foiled again!
Opium
03-09-2005, 10:30 AM
Q: Did you break the lamp and try to fix it with duct tape and hot glue?


A: I want my Ikea catalogue to come!
Chancellor Valium
03-09-2005, 10:58 AM
Q: WHat is it you want again?
A: Ummm........LOOK OVER THERE! (VROOOM!)
danieldoof
03-09-2005, 11:18 AM
Q: what were you saying about crossing the street?

A: uh uh I can explain that
Chancellor Valium
03-09-2005, 02:00 PM
Q: And what's that large bag of cash your holding? You do realise your standing outside a recently robbed bank?
A:Ummm........LOOOK OVER THERE! (VROOOM!)
danieldoof
03-09-2005, 02:57 PM
Q: where is my runaway-car??

A: I once did it but not anymore..
Chancellor Valium
03-09-2005, 06:26 PM
Q: You 're having an image in your sig!
A: It ran away with a fish called Wanda......
NeoMatrix
03-09-2005, 08:40 PM
Q: Where is my pet fish Nemo?

A: Captain Nemo of the Starship Ahab
Opium
03-10-2005, 02:15 AM
Q: Who's coming to dinner?


A: That was really wierd.
Chancellor Valium
03-10-2005, 07:33 PM
Q: Boing! Boing! LOOK AT THE LLAMAS! YOU SEE THE LLAMAS? LOOK AT THE LLAMAS! YOU SEE THEM?!
A: The Mysterious Dr. Fu Manchu's impersonator, apparently.
NeoMatrix
03-10-2005, 10:31 PM
Q: Who is he? I thought the real Dr. Fu Manchu was long dead.

A: I wasn't expecting that
Chancellor Valium
03-11-2005, 10:17 AM
Q: Did you see that bifurcation?!
A: Apparently not.....
Opium
03-11-2005, 11:15 PM
Q: Soon?


A: Soon?
NeoMatrix
03-12-2005, 04:40 AM
Q: I will do it soon?

A: It isn't an exact science
Chancellor Valium
03-12-2005, 11:11 AM
Q: So, how does one predict when the next fiver will be put up?
A: Always it is soon.
Opium
03-13-2005, 01:33 AM
Q: How long till the next train?


A: But I...yah, sure, whatever.
NAHTMMM
03-13-2005, 02:00 AM
Q: Opium, did I ever tell you how much I admire the way you're always so opinionated and certain about everything?



A: We did the gecko tango, I just couldn't say no...
NeoMatrix
03-13-2005, 07:06 AM
Q: What happened? I sent you to get milk and you came back with car insurance!

A: I thought I heard a buzz from a lightyear away
Chancellor Valium
03-13-2005, 07:07 PM
Q: Did you see the first warp five honeybee?
A: Ohh, I'm so fatigued. I went to Bath, y'know, to be cured of the fatigue. And now i'm so fatigued by the cure, I shall have to go to Bath again, to be cured of the fatigue!
stripysox
03-13-2005, 09:27 PM
Q; Cancer is killing
Texaco's spilling
The whole world's gone to hell
But how are you?

A: In the fridge! Duh!
Opium
03-13-2005, 10:22 PM
Q: Where is the VW Beetle parked?



A: Open shower door. Walk in. Turn on shower.
Ginga
03-14-2005, 02:26 AM
Q: My God, my shower didn't come with a user's manual. What do I do!? DX

A: I think it was something about a normal size.
NeoMatrix
03-14-2005, 03:48 AM
Q: Ma'am, can you tell me give me an accurate size of this attacker's penatrator weapon?

A: Oh, Fuyu is having one of her Janeway days
Opium
03-14-2005, 06:30 AM
Q: How can you justify being so wierd today?


A: It's cold.
NeoMatrix
03-14-2005, 05:02 PM
Q: What can you tell me about the freezer?

A: It's hot
stripysox
03-14-2005, 07:26 PM
A: What can you tell me about the sun?

Q: Try using ketchup instead.
NeoMatrix
03-14-2005, 10:03 PM
Q: I don't think this mustard will convince people that i'm bleeding.

A: Please do not get confused between questions and answers
Opium
03-14-2005, 10:25 PM
Q: Shakespeare is an English writer of plays.


A: Ancient.
NeoMatrix
03-14-2005, 11:02 PM
Q: How old is this fossil?

A: It's bumpy
Opium
03-15-2005, 05:41 AM
Q: How was the drive over the river Kwai?


A: Sure, it all makes sense now. *rolls eyes*
NeoMatrix
03-15-2005, 06:03 AM
Q: ...And that is how you treat my warp drive

A: I lost you when you started talking about all the technobabble.
Opium
03-15-2005, 07:10 AM
Q: So you turn the computer on by pressing the "on" button. When the screen comes on, you click on the blue "e" in the corner, and that's the internet. Now, to navigate the internet...


A: I would listen to you, but it's much more fun to watch this film.
Chancellor Valium
03-16-2005, 01:49 PM
Q: .....And anyway, HEY! Are you even listening to me?
A: Hmmm....It tastes like a paisley fish....
Opium
03-16-2005, 10:36 PM
Q: How does this taste?


A: So I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time...
NeoMatrix
03-17-2005, 05:28 AM
Q: HA HA! Look at this picture of you with an onion on your belt! What were you thinking?

A: And if I got mad at someone, they feel the wrath from my onion
Hotaru
03-17-2005, 05:45 AM
Q: When I get mad at someone I write them an angry letter, usually a Q or P, how about you?


A: I took off the internet filters :D
Opium
03-17-2005, 10:33 AM
Q: What the heck is with all this "enlarge your ****** and ******* and ***** and even your ********** ****** *************** for 50 Cents a day" ads?



A: Meh, forget it.
Chancellor Valium
03-17-2005, 02:31 PM
Q: Sorry, could you repeat that about your John/TopHatMan slash fanfic?
A: Ew. Icky icky icky! Get away from me! AAAAH!
richardson
03-17-2005, 09:18 PM
Q: How bad can Shatner's early singing be?

A: So, Lucas did it again. *Sees him coming* Keep him away from me! *Hissing and booing*
Opium
03-18-2005, 07:29 AM
Q: So, how do you like the new Star War's ranch?



A: From Wal-Mart's heart, I stab at thee!
Chancellor Valium
03-19-2005, 11:03 PM
Q: So what did Bill Gates say again in Corporate Macbeth?
A: I am the eggman (woo!), they are the eggmen (woo!) I am the walrus, Cuckoo K'choo!
Opium
03-20-2005, 03:23 AM
Q: Sing that wacky song again!


A: That's a mouthful.
Hotaru
03-20-2005, 06:11 AM
Q: Did you see Neo? He has 27 marshmallows in his mouth!


A: Philnia.
Chancellor Valium
03-20-2005, 01:00 PM
Q: What did you say the Czech called himself?
A: Defibrillator.
Xeroc
03-20-2005, 08:25 PM
Q: Would you like anything with that decuple burger with cheese?


A: Fill out the green form.
NeoMatrix
03-21-2005, 03:09 AM
Q: I need a new Bonus Card? (I work at a grocery store, and the forms for new bonus cards are green)

A: Harry, only 3 more points until you get a promotion
Opium
03-21-2005, 04:59 AM
Q: I want to be a real wizard now!


A: That's enough out of you!
Ginga
03-21-2005, 06:41 AM
Q: And then the bad guys came and we had to catch a Mew using a regular Pokéball and the the 5MV ship crashed into Mt. Hood and a flood started and there were hailstorms and tornado warnings and Janeway came in with this huge-ass gun and started shooting the bunnies and-

A: Yes, I did! Don't deny it! DX
Opium
03-21-2005, 07:40 AM
Q: Did you buy those Easter chocolates for yourself?


A: Yummy, carrot-flavoured chocolate!
NeoMatrix
03-21-2005, 12:03 PM
Q: Honey, what were in these packages? I hope you saved some for me.

A: Woman see chocolate, wise man move out of way
Opium
03-22-2005, 03:01 AM
Q: Say something mildly rude, eh?


A: Just a little, yes.
Vedra
03-22-2005, 01:55 PM
Q: Did you make the warp core breach again?

A: What? Nobody squaredances in the Alps, you idiot!
NeoMatrix
03-23-2005, 12:17 AM
Q: Due to the incident in which someone fell off that cliff last year, we will no longer sponsor the annual Squaredancing in the Alps contest.

A: Only 4
Opium
03-23-2005, 03:27 AM
Q: How many pies do you want?


A: No pie for you!
NeoMatrix
03-23-2005, 05:39 AM
Q: Are you the Pie Nazi?

A: GRRRR! Take these chopsticks away and give me a fork! I'm eating pie for crying out loud!
Opium
03-25-2005, 02:52 AM
Q: Here is your calamari pie, and here are your chopsticks.


A: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Well, maybe.
NeoMatrix
03-25-2005, 06:06 AM
Q: Tom, do you think you will ever forgive Belanna for deleting your favorite holodeck program?

A: Computer, shut up
Opium
03-25-2005, 07:12 AM
Q: Wesley, your idea of warp bubble is...


A: Go away.
NeoMatrix
03-25-2005, 09:55 PM
Q: Computer, tell Wesley to go away

A: Captain, we are out of Duct tape
Opium
03-26-2005, 03:30 AM
Q: Why is Wesley out of his quarters? Didn't we duct tape them closed? And why is talking?



A: Everyone loves duct tape!
NeoMatrix
03-26-2005, 05:39 AM
Q: Why use duct tape when technobabble works better?

A: Oh look Chakotay, there is a nice big forrest on that planet
Opium
03-26-2005, 10:37 AM
Q: This planet looks boring-so many concrete buildings.



A: Hey, stop that!
Chancellor Valium
03-27-2005, 04:43 PM
Q: (pokes Opium constantly on the arm) Are we nearly there yet?
A: The answer is.................is...............FORTY-TWO!
danieldoof
03-27-2005, 06:08 PM
Q: what the frell are you poking opium for?

A: I know it was wrong but I have once seen kirk doing it... :oops:
Opium
03-27-2005, 08:34 PM
Q: Why did you just put that tribble on your head?



A: Stop poking me, or I will THWAP you with...with...a...um...hmm...with a frozen bag of peas!
Chancellor Valium
03-27-2005, 09:37 PM
Q: Mwahaha! Am I irritating you yet?
A: Oh, I've tried walking sideways, and walking to the front - but people just look at me, and say "It's a publicity stunt!" So I'm walking backwards for christmas......
NeoMatrix
03-27-2005, 11:03 PM
Q: Why are you walking backwards?

A: Oops, I forgot to tell him about the cliff
KillerGodMan
03-28-2005, 03:29 AM
Q: Hey Neo! What happens when I reach the - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

A: It was... uh... YOU!
Opium
03-28-2005, 07:37 AM
Q: Who are you painting these giant Borg murals with?



A: Hum.
KillerGodMan
03-28-2005, 02:21 PM
Q: say Hum.

A: I blame my Gameboy!
Opium
03-29-2005, 04:04 AM
Q: Why did you miss class today?


A: It's there.
NeoMatrix
03-29-2005, 07:14 AM
Q: I don't see the point of this conversation.

A: Nah, I will wait a couple more days before I tell him
KillerGodMan
03-29-2005, 11:38 AM
Q: Have you told You that you're right behind him yet?

A: What kind of crazy question is that?
Opium
03-29-2005, 02:09 PM
Q: I love lamp.



A: I'm in a glass case of emotion!
Scooter
03-30-2005, 10:24 AM
Q. Which exhibit do they keep you in at the museum?


A. I was on the moon at the time.
KillerGodMan
03-30-2005, 11:29 AM
Q: Did you see the entire Doctor Who series on an IMAX film the other day?

A: Actually, it's a frog
Opium
03-30-2005, 11:50 AM
Q: It's a bird! It'a plane! It's...what IS it?


A: 45 degrees celsius in the shade.
Scooter
03-31-2005, 06:13 AM
Q. Say something to confuse an American. :)


A. That can only be accomplished with corbomite. Or paperclips. Lots of paperclips.
Hotaru
03-31-2005, 06:17 AM
Q: Do you have anyway to clip these papers together?


A: It's the ultimate in versitility!
Opium
03-31-2005, 07:44 AM
Q: This potato sack doesn't seem like a very nice prom dress. How is anyone supposed to wear it?


A: Very well, actually.
NeoMatrix
04-01-2005, 07:33 PM
Q: How did the April Fool joke go?

A: April Fools
Chancellor Valium
04-02-2005, 12:19 AM
Q: You will tell me the date today.
A: Well, you see, that's because I'm actually the quiet, manipulative, seemingly-harmless type of Sith who disguises himself as an account executive on some backwater planet, so no-one ever discovers whos manipulating stuff, because people like palpatine steal all the lime-light.
Rayinne
04-02-2005, 12:48 AM
Q: How come PHJ's on Sith Weekly's cover and you aren't even mentioned?

A: Bang.
Chancellor Valium
04-02-2005, 12:51 AM
Q: So, what *did* the gun say to the man?
A: The Answer.....is...is.......42!
danieldoof
04-02-2005, 10:03 AM
Q: what do you get when you multiply six by nine?

A: yeah yeah I know....TO RULE THEM ALL
Chancellor Valium
04-02-2005, 10:30 AM
Q: Have you heard about the One Telephone Directory--
A: No, and I don't want to. Leave me to my pie eating.
Opium
04-02-2005, 12:04 PM
Q: Want to buy this magical gold egg for 10 cents?


A: Jury duty.
Chancellor Valium
04-02-2005, 12:57 PM
Q: What ya doing?
A: This is between me and the egg. Stay out of it.
KillerGodMan
04-02-2005, 05:43 PM
Q: Hey Valium.... Oh dear, looks like 42 Man is gonna have to save the egg

A: HARD-BOIL IT!
Scooter
04-02-2005, 06:05 PM
Q. My detective story isn't working. What should I do?

A. I think they were spoiled when they put them in the can.
KillerGodMan
04-04-2005, 12:19 AM
Q: What happened to the eggs?

A: SOFT-BOIL IT!
Opium
04-04-2005, 12:58 AM
Q: What should I do with this chocolate egg?


A: That won't work; the sky is blue.
KillerGodMan
04-04-2005, 01:52 AM
Q: Let's go have a picnic under the green sky!

A: Um... FIRM-BOIL IT!
NeoMatrix
04-04-2005, 04:14 AM
Q: What should I ask the Eggman to do with your eggs, babe?

A: Can it get any firmer?
Chancellor Valium
04-04-2005, 10:06 AM
Q: And so, as we reach Critical Firmness--
A: I've got to get away............
KillerGodMan
04-04-2005, 10:38 AM
Q: Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! (etc...)

A: Er, that wasn't me
NeoMatrix
04-04-2005, 01:55 PM
Q: Someone farted

A: Why is everyone looking at me
Opium
04-04-2005, 07:47 PM
Q: Say your lines already...everyone is looking at you!



A: Just use the force...I mean, forks.
Xeroc
04-06-2005, 01:04 AM
Q: How should I eat this pasta?


A: Salad fork! Salad fork!
KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 01:06 AM
Q: What should I use to stab Zuke?

A: I am a Killer Grand Master
Chancellor Valium
04-06-2005, 11:43 AM
Q: Who are you?
A: I am.......THE DARK SIDE! BWAHAHA!
Opium
04-06-2005, 04:26 PM
Q: Who do you think you are, painting the walls of your rented apartment midnight blue? You realize you're giving up your security deposit, right?


A: Karl did it.
KillerGodMan
04-06-2005, 09:57 PM
Q: CARL! Who painted the rented apartment walls midnight blue?
danieldoof
04-06-2005, 10:10 PM
Q: you do not have anything to say, do you?

A: nice try....maybe it will work next time
Chancellor Valium
04-07-2005, 12:31 AM
Q: These aren't the Hyper-Tiny Mutant Llamas your looking for.....
A: Ack! Karl's started to painted the rest of the WORLD midnight blue!
Opium
04-07-2005, 01:22 AM
Q: You were screaming the wierdest things...were you having a nightmare?


A: It's a nightmare of sorts.
Chancellor Valium
04-07-2005, 01:54 AM
Q: Karl painting the rest of the world midnight blue is a nightmare?
A: The Hyper-Tiny Mutant Llamas did it.......
Hotaru
04-07-2005, 02:37 AM
Q: Alright, who ate my coco puffs!?


A: More of a really masculine girl.
Chancellor Valium
04-07-2005, 02:59 AM
Q: So how masculine is John? A masculine man?
A: That's precisely what auntie Vera said.....
NeoMatrix
04-07-2005, 03:20 AM
Q: You are so awesome!

A: Hey you! Get out of my dream!
Chancellor Valium
04-07-2005, 03:33 AM
Q: Aren't those semolina pilchards a little too green?
A: Ask Karl.
Opium
04-08-2005, 12:53 AM
Q: Where are TopHatMan and John?


A: It's TopHatMan's job, really.
Chancellor Valium
04-08-2005, 01:57 AM
Q: Isn't John meant to do the redecorating?
A: No, ask the lemon in booth 3
Opium
04-08-2005, 02:03 AM
Q: Where do I find the lime costumes?


A: Er...that really doesn't matter to the topic at hand.
KillerGodMan
04-08-2005, 03:01 AM
Q: Do you even KNOW who Coldplay is?

A: Clocks. Lots and lots of clocks
NeoMatrix
04-08-2005, 04:22 AM
Q: Neo, you are always late. What do you need to be here on time?

A: Ok, who hacked into the matrix and enhanced certain body parts?
Opium
04-08-2005, 05:33 AM
Q: Hey! Look at Neo's new purple hair!


A: Why don't you just read the book?
Chancellor Valium
04-08-2005, 12:25 PM
Q: Shall I make a film of 5MV: The Phantom Fiver?
A: Unload the finger, put it down, and step away.
Opium
04-09-2005, 12:54 AM
Q: What should I do with this Extra Spicy XXXXX Super Red Hot chicken finger?


A: It's no ones, really. It belongs to everyone!
KillerGodMan
04-09-2005, 02:54 AM
Q: Who owns Tophatman's tophat?

A: That's kinda redundant
Hotaru
04-09-2005, 05:04 AM
Q: Did did you you hear hear John John died died?


A: Curled up on the couch.
danieldoof
04-09-2005, 09:10 AM
Q: hey do you know where john is now?


A: do not ask me that sort of question, you know that I have to lie
NeoMatrix
04-10-2005, 02:51 AM
Q: Do you lie to me?

A: You already know the answer to that question
Opium
04-10-2005, 06:06 AM
Q: Who loves short shorts?


A: It's a matter of prespectives, really.
danieldoof
04-10-2005, 09:10 AM
Q: do those shorts make me look short?


A: yes I have to admit that my computer does that all the time :oops:
Opium
04-10-2005, 08:14 PM
Q: Does your computer insult you all the time?


A: I think I'll order a Tab.
danieldoof
04-10-2005, 09:08 PM
Q: what kind of letter soup do you like?

A: sam will kill him if he tries anything....
KillerGodMan
04-11-2005, 11:45 AM
Q: Why is John tied up?

A: Try Apple(tm)
Opium
04-12-2005, 12:23 AM
Q: What should I replace my Pears (tm) with?


A: It's a long sort of shortcut.
NeoMatrix
04-12-2005, 02:55 AM
Q: You call this a shortcut? There is a traffic jam on this shortcut!

A: Next time, use the other brand
Chancellor Valium
04-12-2005, 11:51 AM
Q: Hmmmmmm.........this Microsoft A raspberry jam tastes a little off.......
A: You can find St. James' Infirmary on Basin Street. It's in East St. Louis. Toodle-Oo!
Opium
04-12-2005, 10:51 PM
Q: Um, crazy hobo man, where can I find....


A: Your on the wrong train, buster.
NeoMatrix
04-12-2005, 11:03 PM
Q: Is this the train that takes me to the North Pole?

A: To win, you must bring me the one and only Top Hat
Xeroc
04-13-2005, 01:45 AM
Q: O, how may I win this level, O great and wise master?


A: Here, want a ^? I hear they're good for your eyes!
Hotaru
04-13-2005, 03:49 AM
Q: ^- something seems to be missing, think you can help me out?


A: With 2 scoops of wit in every bowl!
NeoMatrix
04-13-2005, 05:01 AM
Q: Did you eat your witties this morning?

A: No, it's just the pollen
Opium
04-13-2005, 05:24 AM
Q: Why are you crying? Are you falling in love?



A: Big red shoes.
Hotaru
04-13-2005, 05:40 AM
Q: Dear Lord! What are those things?


A: Whisper in her ear.
Opium
04-13-2005, 08:02 AM
Q: How should I get Camilla's attention? That hat is totally ruining her outfit!


A: Karl made it.
NAHTMMM
04-13-2005, 04:03 PM
Q: So all the redshirts died in the explosion?

A: I still think it's a Frisbee.





A: Here, want a ^? I hear they're good for your eyes!
Q: ^- something seems to be missing, think you can help me out?

Ouch. ;) :D
Chancellor Valium
04-13-2005, 08:22 PM
Q: Mr. Sulu, what is this device that you are being dour to?
A: Sulu: How about I just sit here and be dour?
Chancellor Valium
04-13-2005, 08:43 PM
Q: Mr. Sulu, what is this device that you are being dour to?
A: Sulu: How about I just sit here and be dour?
Opium
04-13-2005, 10:33 PM
Q: Do I hear an echo?


A: That's Venus, sir.
Xeroc
04-14-2005, 02:00 AM
Q: Set a course for that star, warp 9!


A: Flood!
KillerGodMan
04-14-2005, 02:10 AM
Q: Um... the Holodeck exploded during a Pacific Ocean simulation, and now there's Holo-emiters everywhere, You can said it now...

A: Hamsters taste good!
Xeroc
04-14-2005, 02:31 AM
Q: And, now, any culinary advice for our viewers out there?


A: About one million steps.
KillerGodMan
04-14-2005, 02:34 AM
Q: Where is the edible hamster

A: KillerGM like!
Scooter
04-14-2005, 04:22 AM
Q. KillerGM, hoes does it feel to turn into the Hulk?


A. I can't do much damage with a blunt blade.
Opium
04-14-2005, 07:11 AM
Q: I'm sorry, sir, but you are not allowed to use that plastic knife to cut your steak. You may hurt someone.


A: Journalism school.
Rayinne
04-15-2005, 07:19 AM
Q: Since when did you have a notebook of useless yet embarassing facts about me?

A: :oops:
Opium
04-15-2005, 10:32 PM
Q: Have you seen those new Viagra commercials?


A: It was, you know, like, okay.
Scooter
04-16-2005, 12:28 AM
Q. Hey Moon Zappa, what was it like growing up with a name like that?


A. My life is over!
Opium
04-16-2005, 01:39 AM
Q: So now that "NYPD Blue" is ending, whatcha gonna do?


A: It's Janeway's fault.
KillerGodMan
04-16-2005, 03:53 AM
Q: Say something to tick Ginga off

A: I'm not THAT stupid
NAHTMMM
04-16-2005, 05:00 AM
Q: Say something to tick Janeway off




A: There are actually several spoons.
NeoMatrix
04-16-2005, 05:04 PM
Q: Neo, how many spoons are there?

A: Quit focusing on the spoon and actually use it to eat the pie
danieldoof
04-16-2005, 05:28 PM
Q: oh what is that...it is so shiny?

A: do not look at me like that..I told you that the pie is too small
Opium
04-18-2005, 04:24 AM
Q: So where's the pie? *scowls*


A: Near the Hobbit House.
NeoMatrix
04-18-2005, 03:23 PM
Q: So where is this planet you call "Earth"?

A: When will you learn that T'Pol is the only hot female allowed on the ship
Opium
04-19-2005, 04:23 AM
Q: Why doesn't Hoshi get more screentime?


A: Because captains never get romance. EVER. Even when it would have made total sense. Even when it's P/C, Captain/Dr. ie, Crushard or Pisher. WAH.
KillerGodMan
04-19-2005, 11:47 AM
Q: Why are you so upset?

A: I think it's the Link of DOOM's fault
Chancellor Valium
04-19-2005, 07:51 PM
Q: Why does no-one get my jazz jokes?
A: It's in East St. Louis. Toodle Oo!
Opium
04-20-2005, 02:35 AM
Q: Where's Mardi Gra this year?


A: At least 47.
NeoMatrix
04-20-2005, 05:13 AM
Q: How many times did you check this console before it blew up?

A: An exploding console is not exciting unless a redshirt goes flying! Get with it people!
Opium
04-20-2005, 09:33 AM
Q: Hey, look, Captain...the console blew up while we were at lunch! Cool!


A: T'Pol tries to keep that secret.
catalina_marina
04-20-2005, 12:06 PM
Q: You know what Trip did last night?

A: I really can't. Sorry. :roll:
Opium
04-21-2005, 03:52 AM
Q: Can you tell me where you've been all this time that you haven't been posting?


A: Soon.
Hotaru
04-22-2005, 02:08 AM
Q: When will you come save me from this ship wreck!?


A: It's tv over your phone!
KillerGodMan
04-22-2005, 03:16 AM
Q: Why do they INSIST on Cell-Phones with ludacrussly large screans and antennas?

A: And that's why God invented The Nintendo DS
Opium
04-22-2005, 03:25 AM
Q: What were you saying?


A: Karl would agree.
NeoMatrix
04-22-2005, 07:27 AM
Q: Opium theorized that pi does not taste like pie

A: Jump!
Opium
04-22-2005, 08:11 AM
Q: Duck?


A: Ahh, do you have a boo-boo?
KillerGodMan
04-22-2005, 05:53 PM
Q: Ow!

A: And that's why God invented Zeke
Chancellor Valium
04-22-2005, 09:51 PM
Q: Y'know, without 5MV, I would really have nothing to waste my five minutes on, and might have to resort to *shudders* making use of them!
A: I'm lazing on a sunny afternoon
KillerGodMan
04-23-2005, 03:18 AM
Q: What are you doing with you're five minutes?

A: I'm smart enough not to
Opium
04-23-2005, 03:57 AM
Q: Did you say something insulting about Janeway to Ginga?


A: Crumbum.
KillerGodMan
04-23-2005, 04:36 AM
Q: WHAT is it called?!?

A: He's still an earthworm
NeoMatrix
04-23-2005, 06:17 AM
Q: I will use this spell to return your annoying boyfriend back to normal. *Does some magic thingy*

A: Dude, your magic spell made a mistake in the chest area
Scooter
04-23-2005, 07:03 AM
Q. Why do you have an armadillo sticking out of your torso?


A. I used a little too much of the potion.
Opium
04-23-2005, 08:13 AM
Q: Why is Snape so much older than the Mauraders in the movies, but the same age in the books?


A: Harry Potter's fault...again.
KillerGodMan
04-23-2005, 01:14 PM
Q: WHAT!?!? Where did Snape go?!

A: Yay! He's dead!
danieldoof
04-23-2005, 02:03 PM
Q: hey that tabletennis game was nice but where is john anyway??

A: two steps to the front and one the the left.....and you are there
KillerGodMan
04-23-2005, 02:45 PM
Q: Whee's the guide?

A: That's for the mice to figure out
catalina_marina
04-23-2005, 06:14 PM
Q: So what is the Big Question, anyway?

A: Never!
NeoMatrix
04-24-2005, 06:14 AM
Q: When is the end of infinity?

A: Drunk...fake...real...wasted
Opium
04-24-2005, 09:29 AM
Q: So was the Harry Potter BYOB Dorm Bash?


A: I'm not sure, but CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow probably knows the answer.
KillerGodMan
04-25-2005, 02:40 AM
Q: Do you know where the Black Topaz is?

A: I'm sure sir Ihfasfh knows
Opium
04-25-2005, 03:34 AM
Q: Where is the magazine store?


A: It's always, always, ALWAYS the computers fault.
NeoMatrix
04-25-2005, 05:15 AM
Q: Ok, who caused the computer to crash?

A: My guess would be O-
Ginga
04-25-2005, 05:18 AM
Q: Where's this axe murderer!? WHO IS IT?!

A: Let's listen to eurobeat.
Opium
04-25-2005, 08:02 AM
Q: Can we listen to a little Ez Listnin Muzak?


A: I'de rather listen to a little Ez Listnin Musak than do that!
NeoMatrix
04-25-2005, 08:57 PM
Q: Want to do some math?

A: The 8ball said no
Opium
04-26-2005, 12:17 AM
Q: 2+2=5! Therefore, there are five lights!


A: The 8 ball says "no", but the stars say "yes"
Scooter
04-26-2005, 03:07 AM
Q. What are the cosmic auguries for C/7?


A. I think they were spoiled when they put 'em in the can.
KillerGodMan
04-26-2005, 03:11 AM
Q: What happened to the mushrooms in my can of Cream of Mushroom soup?

A: Just remember that in tis class 2+2=FISH!
Opium
04-26-2005, 03:17 AM
Q: According to Orwell's classic "1984", a way to test for mind control is to say 2 plus 2 equals....


A: Karl did it, without that help of The One I Won't Mention.
KillerGodMan
04-27-2005, 04:13 AM
Q: Who dunnit?

A: So... who dunnit?
Michiel
04-27-2005, 09:52 AM
Q: I told you, it was the butler! Are you deaf?

A: 42
Scooter
04-28-2005, 03:18 AM
Q. What do you get if you multiply six by nine?


A. 47
Opium
04-28-2005, 05:45 AM
Q: How many times do I have to you that DS9's MU eps rocked?


A: Oh?
Scooter
04-28-2005, 06:57 AM
Q. What letter of the alphabet is third-season Shatner shaped like?


A. ¿Que?
Opium
04-28-2005, 10:00 AM
Q: Tim Hortens, eh?


A: Was ist das?
KillerGodMan
04-29-2005, 10:11 PM
Q: You muzt goez to da Tim Hortenz

A: Woof!
Opium
04-29-2005, 10:51 PM
Q: Now look, what do you have to say for your self about using my costume swatches as a bed, you fuzzy, dumb, sweet, silly, cute wittle oblong of fur? Do you want some meat? How about tuna? You're just so cuuuute!


A: Meow.
KillerGodMan
04-30-2005, 11:13 PM
Q: Hello - ah, ah, AH CHOO!

A: Blub
Opium
05-03-2005, 11:59 AM
Q: What did Archer say?


A: It's in the house.
NeoMatrix
05-06-2005, 02:36 PM
Q: Where is your head?

A: It's in the house that just got blown up by those creepy aliens
Chancellor Valium
05-07-2005, 10:49 PM
Q: Where did you say the Total Perspective Vortex was?
A: You bonehead! That's a tree, not Edith Piaf!
Opium
05-08-2005, 09:46 PM
Q: Hey look at that!


A: On? Etuc sti kninht i.
NeoMatrix
05-09-2005, 05:46 AM
Q: Quick, say something that could kill this thread

A: No, it's sooner than soon
Opium
05-10-2005, 12:44 AM
Q: Is the end of Enterprise soon?


A: That's just silly.
NeoMatrix
05-10-2005, 03:24 AM
Q: You are wearing your pants backwards

A: Confusious said it, not me
Opium
05-13-2005, 04:34 AM
Q: So you really think taupe in the new orange, which was the new pink?


A: I guess some people think they must be faster that way.
Chancellor Valium
05-13-2005, 08:14 PM
Q: Man who run in front of bus get tired, man who run behind bus get exhausted.
A: I HAVE SEEN THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
danieldoof
05-13-2005, 08:51 PM
Q: hey redshirt 247 have you seen that life-sucking monster over there?


A: what? not with me!
Opium
05-13-2005, 10:06 PM
Q: Where's TopHatMan and John?



A: Yah, but who besides you still remember that?
NeoMatrix
05-14-2005, 04:27 AM
Q: Hey babe, I still remember all the fun we had back on that wonderful day.

A: Survey says, "Ooooo Low Blow!"
Xeroc
05-15-2005, 01:51 AM
Q: Hmmm, "Kick to the groin"?


A: Talk to the glove.
danieldoof
05-15-2005, 11:16 AM
Q: Did you tell him to: dalk do de händ?


A: I have absolutely no idea....
Opium
05-15-2005, 09:42 PM
Q: What was up with that last ep of Enterprise?


A: His hair was too good.