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Children of the Gods |
Episode 1x1: The Stargate Program gets reinstated. Apophis gets domestic. Teal'c gets insubordinate. O'Neill gets heroic. Carter gets queasy. Daniel gets whumped. Sha're gets a name change. Skaara gets shafted.
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The Enemy Within |
Episode 1x2: Kawalsky learns that sometimes sharing is bad. Teal'c is so cool.
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Emancipation |
Episode 1x3: Carter breaks several laws, goads a Mongol warlord, and wears a dress. Daniel regrets missing that one Ancient Cultures class.
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The Broca Divide |
Episode 1x4: In her first appearance, Doc Fraiser prescribes allergy medication. Lots and lots of allergy medication. And saves the
day.  |
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The First Commandment |
Episode 1x5: The first of the Ex Files! Jonas declares himself a deity, but fails to factor in Carter's lethal relationship mojo.
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Cold Lazarus |
Episode 1x6: The second of the Ex Files! The pity vote goes to O'Neill's ex-wife. Close runner up: O'Neill's melancholy, radioactive clone. |
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The Nox |
Episode 1x7: G-1 encounters the ancient Nox, who may or may not be Communists.
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Brief Candle |
Episode 1x8: O'Neill learns why you shouldn't rush things. Or drink the water. Or eat the food. Or accidentally marry the locals. |
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Thor's Hammer |
Episode 1x9: James Earl Jones is just cool. Carter and Daniel provide stirring filler material. O'Neill and Teal'c resist the Dark Side. |
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The Torment of Tantalus |
Episode 1x10: Third in the Ex Files! SG-1 finds Catherine Langford's long-lost fiancé at an ancient outpost full of amazing stuff. Daniel really needs to start carrying a camera. |
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Bloodlines |
Episode 1x11: Fourth in the Ex Files! Teal'c and O'Neill try to rescue Teal'c's ex-wife and son. Carter and Daniel try to save the day. Everything works out
in the end. Sorta. |
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Fire and Water |
Episode 1x12: Fifth in the Ex Files! Carter gets hypnotized. O'Neill gets traumatized. Daniel gets scrutinized. Teal'c gets wet.
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Hathor |
Episode 1x13: A lot of people mispronounce Hathor's name. And incorrectly use the term "pheromones."
Ack. |
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Singularity |
Episode 1x14: It's time for... Carter's Maternal Aspect! O'Neill and Teal'c work on their monitor tans. |
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Cor-ai |
Episode 1x15: Teal'c is arrested for murder on GrecoRomanWorld. O'Neill and Daniel end up as co-counsels. Mayhem ensues. |
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Enigma |
Episode 1x16: SG-1 saves the first example of technologically advanced peoples whose name starts with T-O. Sam gets really into "Bring Your Cat To Work Day." |
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Solitudes |
Episode 1x17: O'Neill has this weird temperature karma thing going on. Carter gets harsh B.C. Winter Hair.
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Tin Man |
Episode 1x18: Beware strange men with an affinity for machines. SG-1 learns not to fall asleep on the job. |
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There But For The Grace Of God |
Episode 1x19: Daniel experiences the same kind of stuff in an alternate reality that I do on a monday, complete with disconcerting hair changes and an alien invasion.
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Politics |
Episode 1x20: SG-1 one learns an important Stargate Rule of Thumb: Politicians are big lamers. Kinsey is a big lamer, too. Teal'c decides to go freelance. |
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Within The Serpent's Grasp |
Episode 1x21: Season finale. SG-1 learns another important Rule of Thumb: Goa'ulds are big lamers. Apophis is a big lamer, too. Daniel might need to get those fillings checked. |
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The Serpent's Lair |
Episode 2x1: Season premiere. Carter goes blind and bites people. O'Neill gets emotionally involved. Daniel gets whumped. SG-1 saves the world.
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In The Line Of Duty |
Episode 2x2: Carter learns to think twice before giving mouth-to-mouth. Daniel gets whumped.
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Prisoners |
Episode 2x3: Carter makes friends in prison with a woman who makes Dr. Mengele look like Mister Rogers. Daniel wins a fistfight. Sorta. |
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The Gamekeeper |
Episode 2x4: O'Neill and Daniel get whumped. Over and over again. Stargate Rule of Thumb: a trip down memory lane can be bad enough without repetition and an audience.
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Need |
Episode 2x5: Daniel gets abducted, addicted, and made to wear a dress. Just Say No.
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Thor's Chariot |
Episode 2x6: SG-1 learns they messed up real big, and now have to save another planet. |
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Message in a Bottle |
Episode 2x7: O'Neill gets his body hijacked. Simmons develops a potentially fatal crush on Carter. Carter saves the day, the world, Jack, and an alien species. And probably Simmons. Probably. |
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Family |
Episode 2x8: Part two of Ex File # 4. Teal'c has to save his son and ex-wife from Apophis. SG-1 saves the world. Again. |
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Secrets |
Episode 2x9: Daniel does the ER thing. Amaunet makes a cameo. |
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Bane |
Episode 2x10: Bad things happen to Teal'c, and he decides to blow off work. |
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The Tok'ra |
Episode 2x11: Part I of II. Psychic!Carter makes an appearance. So do Martouf and the rest of the Tok'ra.
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The Tok'ra |
Episode 2x12: Part II of II. Carter's Dad gets a new friend. |
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Spirits |
Episode 2x13: Carter gets her first command. Stargate Rule of Thumb: Avoid doing bad things to hunter-gatherers or other small tribes. |
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Touchstone |
Episode 2x14: The N.I.D. does bad things to a small, primitive civilization. SG-1 does some heavy thwarting. See last Rule of Thumb. |
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The Fifth Race |
Episode 2x15: SG-1 finds a massive library and learns another Stargate Rule of Thumb: Avoid sticking your face into strange apertures.
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A Matter of Time |
Episode 2x16: Due to a blackhole and resulting time dilation, most of Cheyenne Mountain experiences what I do on a monday. |
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Holiday |
Episode 2x17: Daniel gets his body hijacked. Mayhem ensues. |
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Serpent's Song |
Episode 2x18: Apophis learns that sanctuary doesn't count when you die. |
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One False Step |
Episode 2x19: Carter saves the day by using her amazing plant skills. |
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Show and Tell |
Episode 2x20: O'Neill gets really emotionally involved. Jacob Carter and Selmak help save the day. |
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1969 |
Episode 2x21: A freak accident strands SG-1 in 1969. Mayhem ensues. |
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Out of Mind |
Episode 2X21: Season finale. SG-1 sleeps in in a big way. Gotta love rebel insurgents.
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Into The Fire |
Episode 3x1: Season premiere. SG-1 and General Hammond play a rousing game of Off The Potential System Lord.
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Seth |
Episode 3x2: SG-1 meets Seth, the lord of all things distasteful. Was anybody impressed at all?
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Fair Game |
Episode 3x3: O'Neill ends up with the fate of the world in his hands, and his day goes straight downhill from there.
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Legacy |
Episode 3x4: Everyone in SG-1 except Carter goes nuts. |
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Learning Curve |
Episode 3x5: Carter and O'Neill get chummy with an 11 year old Einstein. Teal'c and Daniel find out that All Is Not What It Seems. O'Neill gets emotionally involved. |
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Point of View |
Episode 3x6: The monday that wouldn't die. Evil Alternate Universe Hair runs rampant!
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Deadman Switch |
Episode 3x7: A harsh "Return of the Jedi" flashback leaves SG-1 in the hands of a bounty hunter. |
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Demons |
Episode 3x8: SG-1 goes medieval. Dark Ages, that is. |
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Rules of Engagement |
Episode 3x9: SG-1 visits an old pet project of Apophis', and messes it all up.
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Forever in a Day |
Episode 3x10: Daniel experiences most of his character arc in 33 minutes. |
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Past and Present |
Episode 3x11: Carter's old buddy is back, but with different hair. Daniel's abysmal luck with women makes an appearance. |
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Jolinar's Memories |
Episode 3x12: part I of II. SG-1 goes to Hell to rescue Jacob Carter and Selmak. Sunblock not necessary in the Pit.
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The Devil You Know |
Episode 3x13: part II of II. SG1 nearly goes to hell as their plan to escape from Hell goes to hell. Bad things happen. Hell.
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Foothold |
Episode 3x14: Carter's Day Off. A semi-crazed Carter escapes from Cheyenne mountain, tracks down Maybourne for help, shoots people, and more or less singlehandedly saves the day. CARTER: 3 UNIVERSE: 0 |
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Pretense |
Episode 3x15: Skaara's body sues for divorce. O'Neill and Daniel again become co-counsels. |
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Urgo |
Episode 3x16: Fear SG-1 when they say they have an invisible friend. And a weird thing for yogurt.
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A Hundred Days |
Episode 3x17: A three-hour tour strands O'Neill on a wrecked planet. Just guess how this turns out. |
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Shades of Grey |
Episode 3x18: O'Neill goes from Good Man to G-Man. Why do all the renegades hate Carter?
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New Ground |
Episode 3x19: SG-1 learns that "peace" is a reciprocal thing. |
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Maternal Instinct |
Episode 3x20: Daniel goes para-Buddhist. We meet the harsesis son of Sha're, and a pretty cool monk guy. |
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Crystal Skull |
Episode 3x21: Daniel ends up on the receiving end of a freak accident involving an ancient crystal skull, scary Mayan deities, and his semi-senile uncle. Yet, it all works out in the end. Swish.
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Nemesis |
Episode 3x22: Season finale. We find out what the Asgard's terrible enemy is: bionic termites. Evil, evil bionic termites.
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Small Victories |
Episode 4x1: Season premiere. Carter goes on a field trip to save the Asgard homeworld. Daniel and O'Neill have to stay home. |
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The Other Side |
Episode 4x2: O'Neill gets selective moral amnesia when dealing with alien fascist Nazi people.
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Upgrades |
Episode 4x3: Beware Tok'ra bearing gifts. Bad things happen to SG-1.
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Crossroads |
Episode 4x4: An old flame of Teal'c's shows up and mucks about with the S.G. program's social dynamic. |
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Divide and Conquer |
Episode 4x5: A rash of death and destruction leads to investigation. Heh.
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Window of Opportunity |
Episode 4x6: O'Neill and Teal'c become the Kings of Groundhog Day. Mayhem ensues.
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Watergate |
Episode 4x7: SG-1 goes on a disastrous field trip. Bad things happen to Maybourne, but who cares. |
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The First Ones |
Episode 4x8: SG1 goes on another disastrous field trip. Bad things happen to Daniel.
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Scorched Earth |
Episode 4x9: You know you've picked a really bad spot to build a house when your front yard is being transmogrified.
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Beneath the Surface |
Episode 4x10: SG1 gets brainwashed and put to work in a factory on KarelCapekWorld.
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Point of No Return |
Episode 4x11: A geeky conspiracy theorist knows way too much about the Stargate program. Stop looking at me like that.
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Tangent |
Episode 4x12: Teal'c and O'Neill get stranded in a hotwired Death Glider. Carter saves the day largely over the phone.
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The Curse |
Episode 4x13: Sixth in the Ex Files! Daniel goes to a funeral. Danny boy's abysmal relationship mojo appears again, although Carter's status as Black Widow Spice remains truly unchallenged.
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The Serpent's Venom |
Episode 4x14: Teal'c learns the cardinal rule of being an insurgent: plants work both ways. |
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Chain Reaction |
Episode 4x15: O'Neill makes a deal with Maybourne and does some fancy blackmailing. Carter's new nickname? "Oppenheimer." |
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2010 |
Episode 4x16: Turns out that you have to pick your allies really really carefully. Sam saves the world. Again.
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Absolute Power |
Episode 4x17: Daniel finds the harsesis boy, Shifu, and goes through one of those internal episodes. A nasty mindmeld with several million years of malevolence. Smart one, boy-o. |
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The Light |
Episode 4x18: SG-5 bites it and SG-1 goes through brain-chemical nastiness after getting high off a visual effect. Just Say No. |
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Prodigy |
Episode 4x19: O'Neill and Teal'c babysit some cranky scientists on EnergyBugWorld. Carter saddles herself, willingly, with a brilliant cadet with an attitude. CARTER: 4 UNIVERSE: 1 |
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Entity |
Episode 4x20: Carter's body is hijacked by a desperate being. Again. This one is made of energy. CARTER: 4 UNIVERSE: 2
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Double Jeopardy |
Episode 4x21: The 'bots are back. O'Neill doesn't get along with himself. Things go foom.
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Exodus |
Episode 4x22: Season finale. The SGC helps the Tok'ra move. Teal'c wants revenge. It all goes horribly wrong. |
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Enemies |
Episode 5x1: Season premiere. Apophis puts the whammy-voodoo-mind-control on Teal'c, then meets everyone's favorite CG effect: the Replicators! |
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Threshold |
Episode 5x2: Teal'c must undergo an ancient ritual to learn that being brainwashed sucks! |
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Ascension |
Episode 5x3: An alien gets all squishy for Carter, and goes to the most extreme lengths like... assuming human form. |
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The Fifth Man |
Episode 5x4: 3/4ths of SG-1 gets locked up for being nuts. And now, some chamber music while O'Neill waits for rescue.
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Red Sky |
Episode 5x5: The SGC goes to an Asgard planet only to find that they've screwed up Big Time. When "oopsie" doesn't cut the mustard.
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Rite of Passage |
Episode 5x6: Cassandra and SG-1 learn another reason why adolescence is a big pain. |
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Beast of Burden |
Episode 5x7: SG-1 finds a civilization that enslaves the unas, and decides to muck about with their social evolution. |
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The Tomb |
Episode 5x8: Here you see a reference to both "The Mummy" and "Survivor." A Russian SG unit and SG-1 take a field trip. Who will lose the Immunity Challenge? Stay tuned! |
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Between Two Fires |
Episode 5x9: The PTBs at Stargate make Nan mad. Carter's status as Black Widow Spice passes into legend. |
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2001 |
Episode 5x10: Turns out that the Aschen are going to be in another fiver. Life sucks that way.
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Desperate Measures |
Episode 5x11: Simmons sucks. Being strapped to a bed having your brains examined really sucks. O'Neill has to team up with Maybourne again when Carter goes missing. While we're at it, the N.I.D. really, really sucks. |
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Wormhole X-Treme! |
Episode 100! : Marty, the geek from "Point of No Return," produces a television series that bears a more than slight resemblance to the Stargate program. |
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Proving Ground |
Episode 5x13: Foothold, schmoothold. O'Neill is saddled with cadets and has to save the day. Sorta.
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48 Hours |
Episode 5x14: Teal'c gets stuck in transit. The monday that wouldn't die? Could be. Carter gets a fan. Sorta.
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Fail Safe |
Episode 5x15: Earth finds itself threatened from something even larger than the Goa'uld. A big rock.
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Summit |
Episode 5x16: Daniel goes Mr. Hunt in a Mission Impossible. Minor Goa'uld system lords try to figure out a way not to die.
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Last Stand |
Episode 5x17: Part II of II. Bad things happen to the Tok'ra. And Elliot. And SG-1.
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The Warrior |
Episode 5x18: Teal'c gets a serious fan base among the Jaffa. A serious, heavily-armed fan base. |
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Menace |
Episode 5x19: Sometimes, you have to make an issue of the kids putting their toys away. Like, if they're a scourge on the universe. Daniel makes a friend. |
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The Sentinel |
Episode 5x20: SG-1 goes to fix the Evil SG Team's big mistake. Svarog shows up. |
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Meridian |
Episode 5x21: [summary goes unheard due to the clamors of angry Danielites]  |
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Revelations |
Episode 5x22: And the Stebby ("Sucks To Be You" award) goes to... SG-1! |
